Thank you all for the positive reviews! I had wrestling practice today and I'm so very sore so this is short, but please enjoy!

The truth is, petty relationships, whether they are the great love of a person's life or the flimsy moment's obsession, are still grains of sand in the face of true anguish. When I had been with Stacy, the feelings I had for him, though they only grew stronger everyday, were at the back of my mind. I couldn't deny that they existed, but I had to sacrifice my own feelings for the good of others. My, my, don't I sound saintly?

I decided I was going to make that my goal, putting others first. I knew that I had done that with Jay, but I looked back and realized how selfish I'd truly been. I'd very much taken for granted the offer Stacy had presented me when I said yes to Jay, but after having said yes to Jay, I'd made a series of horrible mistakes that involved treating the relationship as though it was years ahead of it's age and like it was a contract. I might even have enjoyed slightly the assumed responsibility of this hypothetical contract. It was wrong and, sitting alone on the beach at sunset with only my thoughts to occupy my time, I knew it.

From that moment on, as I decided I was going to be honest and forthcoming with all the conflict that was going on with me. I knew, though, that I wouldn't keep that up fully with Jay. He wouldn't accept the conflicting ideas of love and relationships and such. It was better that I add a "Excluding Jay" clause to my honesty. I knew that wasn't being honest at all, actually, but I wasn't going to complicate myself further. I was going to give Jay his own brand of honesty by being honest whenever possible.

That time was vastly approaching as I realized I'd have to go home to him at some point after having not done so the night before and leaving no explanation for it. I wasn't sure how he'd feel; I knew that, logically, he should understand why I stayed, but Jay wasn't always the most logical of people. I would omit the detail of sleeping with Stacy in my arms, however.

I began the million mile trek to Jay's house, pondering what words would exactly spell out what I was trying to say. I spent most of the walk convincing myself that I was alright until I was almost sure that he'd see it my way. I had built up that courage by the time I placed my hand on the doorknob, but it seemed to dwindle as I stepped through the door.

I was a little nervous, but I found him, on the couch. He rose to his feet quickly when I came in the door.

"Where've you been?" He demanded, his typically macho, angry self showing through. I frowned. I expected a little more worry from him, I think.

"I was with Stacy. His father was in an accident," I said, solemnly. I sat down on the couch beside where he was sitting moments before.

"That doesn't explain where you were last night," he said, almost in a maternal fashion.

"I stayed with him, he didn't want to be alone," I attempted to explain what I'd done in a way that wouldn't offend his delicate sensibilities or any such thing. There was, however, the legendary flash of rage in his pretty brown eyes. It took away all of the delicacy they held, all of the gentleness.

"You what?!" he roared. I couldn't help but jump a little at his sharp tone.

"Jay…" I said, making yet another stab at peacefulness between us.

"Why in the hell would you do that?" He was not in the mood to hear me out, though I interjected several times in his speech. "God, Lily, you ruined everything!" He was taking news that wasn't even news surprisingly hard.

"Jay," I grabbed his hands, stilling them from running rampant through his hair, "Jay, listen to me…"

"No," he shook my hand off of him, "I don't really give a fuck about what you're trying to say." I was persistent with my attempts at calming him down, but they didn't work.

"Did you sleep with him?" he asked, giving me large, accusatory eyes. I was a little taken back.

"We've never slept together, why would I sleep with him?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"No, did you share a bed with him?" I had hoped that wouldn't come up. I bit my lower lip nervously and nodded.

"Ohh, fuck," he groaned, seemingly in pain. "How could you?"

"Jay, listen, please," I begged, "His dad nearly died, he just didn't want to be alone. Nothing happened. Nothing happened!"

"Oh, yeah, nothing happened at all. You just cuddled up wi --" he stopped mid word. "Almost died?" Those flames of anger disappeared from those chocolate eyes and the depth and softness returned.

"Yeah," I said, sadly, "he was in a car accident. He's in critical condition… I only stayed with Stacy to make sure he was going to be okay."

I gave him the rundown of Stacy's father's condition, but he seemed largely unimpressed with it.

"That's no excuse, Lily," he said, now settling into the far corner of the couch, out of reach, "You didn't need to sleep in the same bed as him!"

I thought that I'd mentally agreed to withhold that tidbit, but hadn't I also agreed to be open, and didn't the two cancel out one another? Either way, I would've been screwed.

"I'm sorry, Jay, but if you'd have seen him… " I trailed off, knowing I was enlisting very little sympathy from him.

"Do you still have feelings for him?" Jay had asked me that on more than one occasion, but this time, he didn't even ask with the grave seriousness that usually surrounded him. This time, his eyes were spiked with a soft, dark hurt.

I examined them, an astonishing feeling of need overwhelming my senses like it always did. I reached out and touched his face. He moved closer to me and allowed me room to rest my head on his chest. He didn't press me for answers anymore at that moment, just held me for a few minutes.

"Lily," he said in a tone that led on to what was coming next, "If you want to be with him, you can go."

I looked at him in disbelief.