Dream A Little Dream Of Me, Sweetheart

Chapter Five

Liberty Van Zant rolled over and sighed softly in her sleep. Toby had taken her back upstairs, to his room. It was a little different this time. Not wanting to rush or scare her, he'd sat her on one side of the bed, taking the other, cross-legged, and started telling funny stories about JT. It had been a wonderful, bittersweet time full of laughter and tears as each had reminiced and tried to top each other with the funniest story. Finally, exhausted by the night's events, they'd fallen asleep without thinking next to each other.

One moment Liberty was perched on that comfortable ledge between wakefulness and sleep, then all of a sudden she noticed it was bright, very bright. It looked like white clouds were surrounding her. Before she could ponder this very much, a thin pair of arms slipped around her and a cheeful voice sounded in her ear.

"Bout time ya got here, snookypums," the voice said gleefully. Snookypums?? Only one person ever made up goofy names for her like that. She spun around, a wide smile on her face.

"JT!!!" she screamed happily, launching herself at him. He caught her and swung her around, then set her down, kissing her as she kissed him. "Oh, I've missed you so much! Is this a dream?" Suddenly, the thought that this might really be a dream terrified her. Dreams meant that you eventually had to wake up and face reality. A reality that no longer included JT Yorke. Liberty felt a tear make its way down her cheek.

"Hey now, no tears, stop that," JT chided gently as he kissed her tears away. "Yes, love, it's a dream, and I don't have much time, so listen closely. Are you listening?"

Liberty nodded, but so many questions were crowding her mind. She wanted to be with him so much!

"Liberty!" her name brought her back to the moment. She looked into JT's face and noticed it looked so sad. Did he think she was forgetting him?

"JT, I think about you all the time! I'd never, ever, ever forget you, you know that! And neither would Toby! We were just talking about you tonight." She beamed happily, surely that would make him feel better. So imagine her suprise when JT's sad look only deepened.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, love. You have to move on. And so does Toby. The paths you're both on now can only lead to lonliness and heartache." He looked at her, searching her face for a reaction.

"What? What are you talking about JT? I don't understand..."But she did understand, and they both knew it. Another tear slipped down her cheek. She wouldn't--couldn't!!--accept this. Forget about JT? It would tear her apart. She felt JT's arms come around her again, and it was like he could read her mind.

"Not forget, love. Neither of you would forget me by moving on. And what everyone's been telling you all these weeks is right--I DO want you to be happy. And if that means finding love with someone else, then so be it. What you were going to make yourself a widow before you even got married? Decide that you were never going to love again? You're only 18, Liberty, and it's foolish to think you could live out the rest of your life without love. You have too many wonderful qualities to deny yourself happiness and to deny some wonderful guy the chance to love you. And what better choice than Toby? He's your closest friend. The two of you keep my memory alive. You have so much in common it's scary. And you compliment each other well. It only makes sense."

Liberty stared at JT. This couldn't be her JT, he sounded so...mature. He was making so much sense, but part of her still rebelled. She loved JT, he was everything she'd ever wanted in a guy. And now he's gone. But Toby's not, a tiny voice whispered in her brain. She wanted to shake her head in denial but she couldn't. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw JT approach again.

"Listen, Liberty, I have to go now," he said, forcing a NO!! from Liberty as she clung to him tearfully. He embraced her lovingly for a moment, then gently pushed her away slightly, tipping her face to his. "I love you, Lib. I always will. But you have to let go. It doesn't mean you have to forget me or stop loving me, what it means is that you have to give yourself the chance to be open to life again, to love again. No matter who you choose, make sure he's worthy of you. And, if it's not Toby, please let him down gently. And watch over him, Lib. Love or not, he needs you now more than ever. You need each other more than you think. I have to go." As she cried, both from loss and from new understanding, he kissed her forehead, then her eyes, then, finally, her mouth. As she tried to pull him closer, crying his name, he whispered, feather-soft, against her lips.

"I. Love. You."

And he was gone.

She was awake, feeling like she'd cried enough for several oceans. But her eyes were curiously dry now. She felt something; Toby had fallen asleep beside her and now slipped an arm about her waist while he dreamed. She turned to study his face a little, watching as a wide smile crossed his lips and he laughed as though sharing a joke. A moment later he started to talk in his sleep. Bemused, she watched him.

"Of course I'll keep an eye on her," Toby said to his dream companion. "I love her too. And I love you, Buddy. Hope to see you soon." He stopped talking, but that sweet, contented smile never left his face. The dream wasn't a dream, after all.

Liberty lay in the darkness, staring up at the ceiling, thinking on all JT had said to her, all that had happened this night. She thought of Toby. Toby, holding her while the doctor gave them that awful news, the news that JT had been taken away from them. Toby, arms around her again as they'd told JT's grandma and he had to catch the old woman as she'd collapsed in tears. Toby, enlisting his parents to help JT's grandmother with the burial arrangements she was too heartsick to deal with, stepping in himself where he could. Toby, holding her up and keeping her sane during the funeral. Toby helping her with her most daunting tasks, setting up the memorial service, then supporting her against Mia at the cleaning of JT's locker. Sitting next to her at the protest at that Spirit Squad competition against Lakehurst. Toby kissing her after the memorial. She'd almost been ready to move on with him then, she remembered. Almost--until he'd told her that JT had died loving her. He wasn't coming back. Why did she turn away from Toby then? The time they'd lost.

And it was Toby now. No matter where she turned, it was Toby. Toby now, holding her, pulling her closer to him even as he slept on. Her rock. Her protector. People thought of him as cowardly, a nerd. They were wrong, especially after tonight. Tonight had changed Toby in so many ways, and she'd never think of him as cowardly, or as a boy, again. Tonight had made a man of him, and JT, her first true love, had tonight given him permission to be her man. It fit.

"Thank you, my dearest love," she whispered up to the ceiling. "I'll take good care of him. We love you." Then she burrowed into Toby, laying her head on his chest even as his arms came to wrap protectively around her. They'd have much to discuss tomorrow, and she was actually looking forward to it.

Prologue

Ashley Kirwin walked heavilly up the stairs. It was 3 in the morning, and the rain had finally stopped--but it was too late to send anyone home. The "party" had improved only slightly after Mia's departure. Emma had offered to leave too, since it was her fault Mia was there in the first place, but Ashley nixed that idea, telling the younger girl she could stay until morning. The rest of the kids were whispering excitedly, and Ashley felt a pang of disgust, biting her tongue and counting to ten to keep from yelling at them all. There was going to be a new topic of gossip at Degrassi come Monday morning. Ashley had had a few kids she actually trusted help her clean up the mess from the party and had then assigned sleeping arrangements. She knew her parents were going to kill her and Toby in the morning for not kicking out the boys, but Ash was praying they'd understand about the rain--or that she could rouse everyone and kick them out before her folks got home. She sighed, that seemed to be the thing for her to do tonight. She sighed again, just because.

As she reached the top of the stairs, Ash decided on impulse to check on her brother and Liberty. What she saw softened her heart and brought tears to her eyes. Toby had pulled Liberty on top of him; her head rested comfortably on his chest. His arms were even now tightening protectively around her, unconciously letting her know all was well. One hand curved around her waist, the other was tangled in her hair. Ashley smiled, a goofy, giddy smile as she stared fondly at the two of them. Her brother had grown up tonight, and had gotten the woman he loved. Somehow, Ash knew that JT would approve, just as she knew the sun was going to shine tommorw, banishing the dark and the rain into memory. Let her parents catch these two tomorrow--Ashley would defend them with her life if she had to. Her brother had earned this night.

Ashley whistled softly as she snuggled into her warm bed, whispering a quick goodnight to JT Yorke before drifting off to sleep. Oh, yes, tommorrow was going to be a beautiful day.

End