Title: The Abstract Noun (Chapter 5)
Rating: T for language, violence,and alcohol/tobacco use
Pairing: GojyoxSanzo

A/N and Warning: Thank you once again for the reviews! I would like to warn you there's a slight spoiler about what happens to Kougaiji once Nii gets his hands on him. There's also more Sanzo torture. But that's because I totally have to agree with Santuary of Darkness. Sanzo does get his ass handed to him a lot in the series. And as this story progresses...the OOCness of the characters becomes more and more evident --;; I apologize in advance for Dr. Nii. He was extremely hard to write because I never really even thought out his personality before or anything. I never thought he'd come out in this storry ;;

. A week had passed since Hakkai came to check up on Sanzo in the morning and found Gojyo asleep in a chair, his head tilted in such a way that his eyes would land on the priest had they been opened. Of course, Hakkai had only smiled knowingly and did not even mention it in the following days. Sanzo's condition had improved from his sorry state, so he was up and hurling shit this way and that as if he needed to catch up for the days he had been out. Gojyo refrained from remaining in the room any longer once Sanzo's will to live proved sufficient. It also helped that he was a victim of Sanzo's verbal abuse more often than anyone else.

"Shit bastard. Next time I'll let him go out and get himself killed."

. Gojyo fumed as he stormed out of the room after a particularly vicious bout of insults, heading downstairs to the kitchen. Hakkai had been preparing their meals since they brought Sanzo back in hopes that nutritional food would have a more positive effect on the priest's health than the inn's deep-fried platters. Gojyo didn't see the difference when it was obvious that Sanzo survived primarily on cigarettes and beer.

"Good morning, Gojyo," Hakkai said genially as the redhead opened the door. "Would you mind doing me a favor?"

The brunette held out a tray supporting several breakfast items in one hand while stirring some concoction with the other.

"Depends on what it is," Gojyo replied, thrusting his hands into his pockets.

"Can you take this to Sanzo?"

He lifted the tray a little higher for emphasis. Gojyo balked.

"What! That son of a bitch just kicked me out for delivering his medicine! What am I, his maid!"
"It would save me the trouble of taking it up later after it's turned cold, and I can't ask Goku – he's asleep."

Gojyo groaned, realizing by ardently refusing in such a way, he'd indirectly called Hakkai a maid.

"Fine."

Gojyo roughly grabbed the tray from Hakkai's waiting hand. The tea in the earthen cup sloshed over in the process along with some of the soup still steaming in the bowl. Gojyo paid it no mind and kicked open the door, Hakkai's cheerful "Thank you!" following him out the kitchen.

. "Damn Hakkai. Damn fuckin' priest. What am I, errand boy? Leave it up to Hakkai to try and patch things up –"

Gojyo grumbled and muttered his way up the stairs.

"Oi, Sanzo!"

Gojyo pushed open the entrance to Sanzo's bedroom with his shoulder.

"Hakkai told me to bring you breakf –"

. An empty room greeted Gojyo, rumpled sheets draped over the bed without a body to cover their creases. The redhead dropped the tray on the table with a loud crash, emptying nearly all the bowls of their contents, and rushed off to check in the bathroom. No priest. He then ran to his own room and tore open the drawer where he stored Sanzo's Smith & Wesson. No gun. Gojyo swore with every colorful word in his vocabulary and then some before galloping down the stairs once again. The barkeep was rudely interrupted from his musings when Gojyo fisted his collar to grab his attention.

"Did a blonde priest walk out of a here just a moment ago?"
"Yes, but when I asked for his blessing, he –"

Gojyo tore himself away from the conversation in his haste, leaving the bartender confused and indignant in his wake.

. Exiting the inn revealed another busy day of commerce already begun at such an early hour. Gojyo pushed his way through the crowd, using his considerable height to his advantage by peering over the masses in to a sea of black and brown hair. No sun-kissed golden stood out in his gaze. He decided he couldn't do this by himself. Crashing into the kitchen, Gojyo discovered Hakkai and Goku readying their meals, Goku's lips suspiciously close to a ladleful of soup from the pot. Seeing Gojyo's distraught expression, Hakkai inquired as to his condition.

"Sanzo's gone," Gojyo panted.
"WHAT!"

Goku dropped the ladle back into the pot in astonishment.

"Kidnapped?" Hakkai asked.
"No, that bastard just walked out on his own, damn him!"

Hakkai's pallor lightened a shade.

"Well we gotta go an' bring him back!" Goku offered and started to run out the door. Gojyo caught him by the back of his shirt.
"What! Lemme go, you stinkin' kappa! I have to go find Sanzo!"
"You think you'll find him all by your puny little self out in that crowd!" Gojyo roared.
"Hakkai," he continued in a more civil manner, "I think he went back to those woods to find the sutra."
"That would be the most viable reason. We should take Jeep."

Hakkai left the kitchen to find Hakuryuu, leaving Gojyo and Goku to wait for him. Gojyo's fingers tightened around Goku's shirt, which he had failed to let go of.

"Stop it! You're chokin' me!"

. Gojyo immediately let go and apologized listlessly. The phase of initial panic had passed, and now Gojyo was left with a certain sinking feeling he almost always had when Sanzo's well-being was concerned. Worry. It sure contradicted the image he exuded to the world. Out of habit, he fished in his pocket for a cigarette to calm his nerves. The lighter followed, and he couldn't help but be reminded of that night just over a week ago when he had teased Sanzo with it. Goku was pacing fretfully across the floor when Hakkai opened the door and ushered them out. Traversing an alley to a less crowded side road, the dragon turned into a vehicle, and the three continued their pursuit in a speedier manner. No conversation passed between them until they reached the woods where they curtly agreed to split up and search and meet back at Jeep.
. Gojyo took the same path he had taken after the battle the week prior. Crashing through the growth, he reached the same clearing where he'd discovered Sanzo, and walking across it brought him past the same pool of blood, now dried a rusty brown and forever fossilizing the bent blades of grass that formed a vague outline of where the priest had lain. Taking another long drag from his cigarette, Gojyo walked further into the woods. Goku and Hakkai were not having much luck either. Goku's sense of smell brought none of Sanzo's scent, and Hakkai did not even find one broken twig to aid their search. Things were not looking hopeful.

. The sun painted portraits across a leaden sky, splashes of brilliance left in the wake of divine paintbrushes sweeping away the day. Indigo slowly seeped across the sunset, bright white spatters replacing the harsh colors. From the shadows came rustling as branches were parted and leaves rubbed against each other. Hakkai looked up from where he had been standing to see Gojyo step out from the woods.

"Any luck?"
"No."

. In the pale moonlight, Hakkai could plainly see Gojyo's haggard complexion, sharply set off by the same flaming red of his hair. Gojyo took the stub of his cigarette from his mouth and stamped it out on a patch of dirt. More rustling signified Goku's arrival as he too materialized from the darkness.

"Have any of you guys seen Sanzo?"

Hakkai and Gojyo shook their heads.

"Well, I'm gonna go check one more time. I think I might've missed someplace."

. Before Hakkai could object, Goku had disappeared back into the trees. The brunette sighed and leaned back against Jeep who was already supporting Gojyo's weight. An orange glow emanated from Gojyo's newly lit cigarette, flaring slightly as he drew from it, then diminishing again in the company of a wreath of smoke. Hakkai was the first to break the silence, broaching a topic that had been lingering in the recesses of his mind for the past week.

"Gojyo…"

He hesitated. Gojyo looked up.

"What?"
"Do you lo…er…how do you feel about Sanzo?"

Hakkai looked up expectantly at Gojyo, his face revealing none of the awkwardness betrayed by his voice. It wasn't that he was uncomfortable with the question but rather he was uncomfortable about making Gojyo feel uncomfortable.

"Tch. Were you waiting until he went missing? He knows I think he's a son of a bitch. The feeling's mutual, actually."

Gojyo grinned sadly at the sky, the smile harboring all the hints of a nostalgic moment in remembrance of something special that happened a very long time ago.

"You love him," Hakkai stated in a very matter-of-fact manner. There. He had put a word to that emotion Gojyo had been experiencing – the twisted gut feeling that normally sounds like something painful but actually denotes one of the most wonderful things in the world. It was THE abstract noun, and it blew away anything else Gojyo had convinced himself it was. The cigarette fell to the ground.

"No, no I don't. Men don't love other men….like that. At least I don't. And other than that, who'd love a bastard like him?
"Gojyo, it's not unnatural. You shouldn't try to deny it."
"…"
"Besides, he is pretty."
"Yeah…yeah, I guess."
"We're not looking down on you for it."
"I know."
"Gojyo –"
"Fine!"

Gojyo exploded, whirling around to face Hakkai, his breathing rapid, his eyes wide.

"I do love him, okay! I don't know how the hell it happened or when or why and I don't even fuckin' WANT to! Nothing good ever came out of it! This is the shit that screws people over! We can't –"

He paused, regaining his composure and lowering his gaze.

"I can't afford to feel that way."
"Gojyo – "
"I know if I didn't feel this way, Sanzo going off like that wouldn't bother me this much."
"…"
"This ass-suckin' quest is too dangerous for that, too risky."
"Gojyo, I'm – "
"Look, just don't mind me, okay? I'll sort this shit out sooner or later."

. The hand Hakkai reached out with fell to his side, shot down by Gojyo's words. Goku came out of the forest again, looking just as dejected as half an hour prior, signifying Sanzo's continued absence. Without a word, the three piled into Jeep and drove back towards town, a cloud of desolation hanging low over their heads.

. Hakkai reclined by the bar, reflecting on the happenings of recent times over a drink. A month had passed since Sanzo left them to search for the sutra. Two weeks of that month, he, Gojyo, and Goku combed the woodlands to even as far as the next town – to no avail. After their last search, Hakkai had voiced the possibility that he knew was in each of their minds but no-one had brought up.
"We haven't considered the possibility that…you know…"

Hakkai's words slipped as he faltered, all their eyes concentrating intently on the ground.

"Sanzo…he might be…dead."
"No!"

Goku's head snapped up to stare at Hakkai in the eye, that golden gaze of his completely confident and innocent in his refusal.

"Sanzo isn't dead! He's not gonna die because of some stinkin' low-level youkai! He's too strong for that!"

All the boy's idol worship of the priest poured into his ardent words as he continued his rant.

"Besides, I KNOW he's still alive. I can feel it!"
"Yeah," Gojyo joined in, though not as enthusiastically, "if he really died, we should know by now – either the demon's coming to gloat or Kanzeon Botsatsu making one of her appearances."
"I suppose so," Hakkai sighed.

. Hakkai asked the bartender for another bottle to add to his growing collection. The clock on the wall rang to proclaim that nine o' clock had descended into their midst. It would be dark out by now. Hakkai gazed over at the doorway, expecting Goku to come in, dejected just as much as every other night he'd gone out in search of Sanzo by himself. Goku was never one to give up of course, especially when Sanzo was concerned, but the entire ritual was beginning to smack of denial, perhaps even obsession. Gojyo was behaving strangely as well, holing himself up in Sanzo's room and only appearing for meals, sometimes not even for that. Hakkai sorely regretted talking to Gojyo about his feelings for Sanzo. Now even the redhead's pride wasn't there to compel him to save face and move on. Gojyo now had no excuse to pretend he was perfectly fine, and he exploited it with all the months of pent-up emotion.
. The two older men both knew that if Sanzo was to be found, it sure wasn't going to be them to find him. The priest would make sure to come back on his own. Searching in the face of such stubbornness was useless. However, without Sanzo, the quest to stop Gyumaoh's revival was put on hold. It was Sanzo that had received the heavenly decree, and it was Sanzo who possessed the only means of even daring to stand up to the demon. Therefore, the three remaining travelers had stayed in the town with no reason to continue and no desire to turn back.
. The creak of the door ushered Goku into the lobby. Despite himself, Hakkai found himself facing the boy, an unwanted flicker of hope springing up in his chest. Goku's eyes told otherwise, and he trod up the stairs with heavy feet. Hakkai's gaze followed Goku to the top of the steps where it averted to look at the closed door behind which Gojyo languished in his own smoke. He turned back to his drink.

. Two moths fluttered against the window, entranced by the light glowing just out of reach. The smaller of the two managed to slip in through the crack at the bottom, flapping towards the light in which rested its demise. Its companion attacked the glass with renewed fervor until it wore itself out, where it fell upon the sill and looked longingly for the other.

'Sanzo,' Hakkai thought, 'now you're just being selfish.'

. Now we will turn our attentions to a certain blonde priest whose disappearance caused all the aforementioned angst over the course of a month. He traversed the clearing, gritting his teeth disdainfully as he passed the dark patch in the center. His hand pressed slightly against his stomach, fingering the seams that held together the patched-up robe and feeling the lingering tenderness underneath. A twinge of pain let itself be known, but Sanzo's dogged trek surpassed it to hold priority. The priest staggered on.
. The day reached its height with the sun blazing mercilessly from its zenith. Sweat dripped down Sanzo's forehead, leaving wet trails from temple to jaw. His heavy robes did nothing to help, cumbersome and sticky along with his jeans and skintight top. The trees had thinned along a river bank upon which Sanzo had thankfully stumbled upon. The water was cool upon the priest's hands as he dipped them deep and splashed the liquid onto his face. He leaned over once again, cupping his hands for a drink when suddenly, he felt the dirt of the bank erode underneath his feet and pitched forward into the river.
. The current was swift and strong; it swept Sanzo downstream as he struggled to resurface from under the churning waters. The trees on the bank had thickened, leaving no room to climb back up. Sanzo stayed afloat long enough to see the stone and sand of a bank appear further down, and he struck out towards it with all the strength he could muster. His feet soon touched shell. Sanzo clambered out onto solid land, breathing hard as he worked to balance his oxygen level. He sprawled out on the ground, well aware that his clothes were sopping wet and soaking into his skin. He pulled his arm around to rest against his abdomen where the pain had turned into a perpetual dull throbbing. His body complained that it wasn't ready for such strenuous activity, and Sanzo felt the strength leaving his limbs. His head tilted to one side, the priest slipped into oblivion.
. His eyes opened a crack, his eyelids unbelievably heavy. The resulting view was blurred by his dubious vision, and he rubbed his hand over his face – or rather, tried to. He found he could barely lift his arm, the required effort multiplied a hundredfold. His eyes snapped open at this disturbing realization, only to be greeted with beads set into a white face, thread whiskers fraying from a button nose. Something was definitely wrong.

"Oh, Mr. Bunny! It appears Sanzo-sama has awakened!"

The large stuffed rabbit was taken from Sanzo's face and replaced by a bespectacled man looming over him. There was light stubble on his chin and he was wearing a white lab coat, holding the plush under one arm. The man grinned over a cigarette.

"Hello! My name's Dr. Nii and I'll be your physician for the day."

Sanzo grit his teeth and ground out a demand for an explanation, amplifying the splitting migraine currently occupying his head.

"What have you done to me?"
"Well, restrain you, for one. You were struggling so I had someone knock you out when you woke up, but I'll be needing my guinea pig in one piece, you know."
"Guinea pig? Bastard."
"I haven't done anything yet. We're making preparations right now. So tell me, Sanzo-sama, are you strong-willed?"
"What's it to you?"
"You won't be worth much to me if you're not."
"Like I care."
"Sanzo-sama, you're being awfully rude."
"Fuck off."
"You haven't answered my question. That makes Mr. Bunny very sad."
"And if I don't answer?"
"You might have another run-in with those youkai I sent a week ago."

Sanzo's defensive standpoint softened slightly, started by this revelation.

"You sent them? Not Kougaiji?"
"Ah! So you're acquainted with Kougaiji-sama. Well, let's just say he's in no condition to be giving orders now. He answers to me." (1)

Sanzo was dumbfounded. This Dr. Nii commanded Kougaiji? But…

"You're not a demon."
"Of course not."

Nii tugged at his ears.

"See? Not pointed. But how do you like my demons?"
"…"
"I've been working on them. Even though they're strong, they seemed to be a bit lacking in the brains department. So I've been altering their genetic and biological structure to give them more logic and thinking skills. Have you noticed the improvement?"

A twinge ran across Sanzo's abdomen as if to answer.

"You see," Nii continued, "the minus wave wasn't enough. It just made the demons go berserk. No control, no discipline, and stupider for it. So I took it upon myself to fix it. And Gyokumen-sama makes sure I have my toys."
"You're sick."
"Now, back to the subject of my newest acquisition," he continued, ignoring Sanzo's disgust, "I need to know if you're strong-willed. What I'm doing now is adding a complete control factor into the experiment. It'll make the patient obedient to my every word. What I'm not sure of is if anyone can break it. That's where you come in."
"You're telling me this…why?"
"I figured you'd fight harder. Inactive toys aren't very much fun, you know."

A loud whirring began to radiate from a device across the room, effectively cutting off their conversation.

"Oh! It appears to be read. Say good-bye, Mr. Bunny!"

. Nii took the stuffed rabbit's arm and waved it in Sanzo's direction before walking towards the source of the noise. Sanzo took the opportunity to test his restraints and found that not only were his limbs tied down but his body wasn't obeying either. With a frustrated groan, he let his head back to rest against whatever he was on and proceeded to take in his surroundings.
. A high, sloping ceiling framed the stone floor, and the architecture strongly suggested a manor, or perhaps even a castle. Technology littered the ground in strong contrast to the apparent time frame of the building. A tube of suspicious green liquid bubbled in one corner while lines and blips ran across various computer screens lined against the walls. He struggled to try to catch a glimpse of Nii's newest diabolical device when the plush bunny flooded his field of vision once again.

"Ready, Sanzo-sama?"
"Would you take no for an answer?"
"Probably not."

. Nii wheeled Sanzo, who was apparently strapped to some type of gurney, towards the invention. The priest craned his head the best he could when the gurney stopped and managed to make out the general shape of the machine. It was made of hard plastic and stainless steel on the outside with a half-cylinder shaped hole through the middle, much like a CT scan. He stopped looking when Nii began to attach wires to him – one on either temple, one on his throat, one over his heart, and two on the soles of his feet. The legs of the gurney were folded up, and Sanzo was shoved into the hole, looking up at the translucent panes lining the top of the half-cylinder. The last he saw was the white stuffed rabbit before darkness fell around him. The silence was deafening, the tension crushing. He could hear his own breaths and his heartbeats thudding in his ears.

'No,' he told himself, 'this isn't fear. I am not afraid. I do not fear pain or death or –'

. The translucent panes suddenly flashed with light, and an electric shock exploded through Sanzo's body. Nothing he had ever experienced could compete with what he was going through then. He wasn't sure if he was screaming. He wasn't even sure if it was pain. The feeling was so entirely foreign; it was having something eating him from the inside out but leaving all flesh intact. It was feeding on his will, his pride, his sense of self, his control. It was the worst possible thing that could happen. Sanzo was slipping through his own fingertips, and he was powerless to stop it. An unbidden cry for help rose to his tongue, but the disappearing shreds of his dignity kept his mouth shut while his mind pleaded.

'Help! Someone, help,' he thought. 'Gojyo…'

The name did not come from any conscious decision of his own, and the unexpectedness of it tore him from his situation for a moment. Just a moment, but it was enough. The light died down as did the whirring of the machine, and the door to the tube opened to release him to the outside world once again. Nii slid him out of the device and to Sanzo's surprise, began undoing the buckles holding him down. As soon as the last one fell from his wrist, Sanzo attempted to attack the doctor. Imagine his shock when he realized he couldn't move!

"Hmm…," Nii said, "I wonder if it worked. Stand up."

Sanzo immediately sprang off the surface. Inside his mind, Sanzo's thoughts cluttered and stormed as he tried to understand what in the blue fuck was going on.

"What the hell did you do, you son of a bitch!"
His own words startled him as they reached his ears. There was no bite, no anger in them even though he intended all of his hatred to be spoken. Even his face didn't contort in fury. Rather, his voice was deadpan, almost monotone, and his expression remained neutral.
"Oh, it seems you can still speak of your own volition. What a pity. I'll have to fix the machine's level. But I wonder just how successful this was."
Nii wandered around Sanzo, bunny slippers dragging on the floor as he inspected him.

"Jump."

To his horror, Sanzo's legs bent underneath him, and he sprang into the air.
"Hop on one foot and pat your head."
Sanzo's pride screamed its refusal, but his body chose Nii's words over his own and obeyed in accordance. If Sanzo had any control over himself, his face would've been burning with shame. He prepared himself for the next onslaught of humiliation. However, no amount of preparation would've readied him for the command that followed.

"Now," Nii smirked.

"Kill the Sanzo-ikkou."

(1) Nii does something to Kougaiji, starting from the 6th volume,that basically erases all emotion and stuff like that. He answers to Nii and Gyokumen, much like a puppet.