Don't ask me
As the sweat creeps across my ribs
As my thumb itches to be sucked
As the air grows thin and cold,
Don't ask me,
"What do you mean?"
Don't look at me
Not like that with your eyes so wide
Not with a gaze so loving and open
With your weight shifted to ready embrace
Don't look at me,
You touch my hand.
Don't answer
Something wicked calling the air from my lungs
A racing pulse pushing beads of sweat
And a door to my left, front and back
Don't answer.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Don't say my name
Your tone so soft I know you'd understand
My chest itches to speak the truth,
If you do I'll know you love me.
Don't say my name
Like a puff of air
Don't accuse
Don't wet your lips, buy seconds for courage
I see your fingers tense.
You want to hold my hand.
Don't accuse—
"—your father—"
Don't admit
Chest hurts
Throat hurts
Tummy hurts
Don't admit, omit, vomit—
"Loved me."
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Don't see my lie.
Your eyes look into my face, gently
You understand. You love me.
You love me. You forgive me.
Don't see my lie.