Hey, trusted readers, and reviewers! Sorry for the long wait. We've had writers block:D Yay! I honestly don't know what to think of this chapter. :D --Fake smile.
Alas, I'm going to get D-Chan to write out this wonderful introduction to the 3rd chapter of out Collab. Take it away, D-Chan! (This is where the Game Show started. )

XD Thanks, Milady! Anywho, Milady and I spent some time working on this chapter, battling the demon known as writer's block, and attempting to grasp that which is untangible. Because of those things, this chapter is out much later than I intended. For this, we are sorry. Please enjoy this fanfic and review, however, as it helps us battle the demon known as writer's block. It also keeps us from committing senpuku with a ski pole.

Disclaim: We claim no legal ownership of Naruto, foo'.

Not Everyone on the Internet is a Pervert - Except for Kakashi

Chapter 3

Sasuke had found that when he walked through the doors to his house, Itachi had already left for Kisame's house. The note he found on the kitchen counter proved so. And although it was graphic in telling Sasuke how he was going to be castrated when he got home, he found himself being thankful that he hadn't done so before that blond boy ran into him. After all, being groped without balls was not an awesome way to be seen. Especially by someone that cute.

However, Sasuke's precious reverie was interrupted when there was a crash through the door. Wait, not just any crash. A youthful crash. His first thoughts were, "Oh my God, run for it!" and "Where's that knife when I need it?", but it proved too late for Sasuke when none other than Gaara slowly walked around the corner Sasuke quickly hid around.

Wait, what?

Gaara?

Yeah, that's right. You aren't crazy. Unless you are. Anyways, Lee came bounding around the corner after he got the door back up. Gaara was just PMS-ing to a large extent at the moment, so he didn't help Lee, and kept brood-walking.

"...You got the goods?" Gaara spoke.

"SASUKE. HOW ARE YOU THIS FINE MORNING?"

"...Yeah, I got the goods over here." Sasuke replied to Gaara, completely trying to ignore Lee. And failing.

What could this be? A cult! Some crime! Some switch of black trade goods! Wrong!

"OH, I JUST LOVE OUR BRUNCHES. SASUKE, YOU HAVE TEA TODAY!"

"Yes. I have tea." Sasuke failed to ignore Lee. After all, it's pretty hard to ignore someone who speaks so youthfully, eh? (A/N: See how Op-chan's Canadian self shines through.)

Let's explain the brunches. Every few days or so, Gaara and Sasuke have a brunch to discuss the recent dwelling on 'how to get revenge on Itachi for killing Sasuke's father,' not to mention Gaara's lover. The wonderful readers are thinking. "Ew, Gaara and Sasuke's DAD?" Correct! But here's a curve ball! Some of them must remember a game called SkiFree, where you use your mouse to ski downhill, then the yeti-monster-thing (Derric) runs up and eats the poor, defenseless skier! They do? Thought so. If some don't, search it up. It's awesome. Well, the twist here, is that Sasuke's dad is Derric.

...

Maybe everyone's insane.

You see, Itachi had enough of his dad eating his best friends. It was late one evening when Itachi was hanging out with Kisame, his newest best buddy. They were online on The Wall, thinking up perverted online usernames, when Itachi's daddy came bounding in, in all his YETI-MONSTER-THING glory, and took a whiff of Kisame, then snapped his YETI-MONSTER-HEAD towards the blue-gilled boy's direction.

We all know Yeti's just love fish, don't you.

So did Itachi.

"Dad! NO!"

But, alas! Derric walked closer and closer to Kisame, the flavourful fishtreat. His beady black eyes, blinking in some hidden grey face hairs. His spindly arms, stronger than any mans' arms, reaching out to Kisame. Slowly, and slower yet, but that's when it happened!

Hah-hah-hah! Whoops! We've run out of time, let's take the final spin in the wheel, and see where we end up!

Rat-a-tattattattat-tat-tat--tat--t-aa-tt-tat-tat.

Oh! Channel change! You have missed the crucial piece where we tell you what Itachi did to Derric. But, oh lucky day! Pick up that card there. Yes, good. You've picked up the card that involves Sasuke, still! Let's see where he's wound up, right after this commercial!

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Suicide hot lines bringing you down?... Energy drinks making you crash?... What about this pesky next door neighbors? Well, after you buy our wonderful product, you may purchase a better life right with it! We promise we don't have the Ebola Zaire or Marburg!

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And we're back from commercials! Now, then, where was the story? Ah, that's right. Ahem.

Derric's hand pulled closer to Kisame. Itachi watched in horror when, all of a sudden... what's this? A skier jumps over Derric's head and now Derric commits senpuku with a skiing pole! Oh, ski pole. You anger people so.

Now, why was Sasuke angry at Itachi, when Derric had committed a ninja form of suicide? Well, he blamed Itachi because he walked in on his father with a ski pole through his stomach, and Itachi and Kisame just standing there. It was on that day that Sasuke swore revenge against Itachi. And ski poles.. But mostly Itachi.

Now, Gaara was angry because he had only heard Sasuke's side of the story. If he heard the real story, he might not be at these brunches. Or maybe he would. There were some darned good waffles to be had. They were especially good with Lee's homemade "youth sauce". Sasuke denied this, and instead ate them with his own sauce.

So they ate waffles with their desired sauces, and plotted against Itachi, who was currently doing who knows what with Kisame, and Sasuke's mind wandered to the blond-haired boy he met earlier today.

-Enter fade out on Sasuke's thoughtful face-

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Review! Or Derric eats j00:D Either that, or -hands you a ski pole- you commit senpuku. :D You have no other choices.