RE-UPDATED: 20/02/05

Disclaimer: Disclaimers are boring. So very boring. And painfully realistic. So very painful. Of which by now, all of you ought to know that I own nothing of Harry Potter.

A/N: Crap. Crap crap crap! If you happen to be wondering why the author is suddenly spurting cusses, it could be because I can't find my bloody draft. Damn, bloody freaking thing… where are you? I spent ages writing you! Grr… Sorry people… I can't type it up today (which is Sunday, April 18), I'll babble after I've finally found it.

(The next day.)

Hahahaha! Success! Have found stinking draft clipped between my file at school! Yay! On with the fic!

"We shouldn't be doing this…" mumbled Lily, looking guilty as she squinted in the bright sunlight. A crisp wind was causing her long hair to fan out. "We did kinda promise her that we wouldn't do anything that would harm Gryffindor's chances…"

"Technically, we won't be actually harming Gryffindor's chances," rationalized Andrea, crunching snow under her designer boots. "Firstly because Hufflepuff's a pushover, even with Diggory, and secondly, because if everything goes as planned, the other team members should play just fine while everyone is staring."

"I know… but still…"

"Lily, give it up. No matter what you say, I can argue with you till you're blue in the face, and I'll still be able to make us seem completely innocent. We have to stay focused! Like an eagle at hunt, about to snatch a squirmy little rodent in its cold talons, with intense eyes and- Look! A fresh patch of snow! Let's make snow angels!"

"Andrea," said Lily tolerantly, tugging at the back of her robes to stop her from getting there. "Focus. Remember the eagle and squirmy rodent?"

"Huh?" she said blankly, turning large blue eyes to Lily. "Ooh! I like your jacket!" she called to 6th year Gryffindor.

"You have the attention span of a gnat," informed Lily.

"Thank you!" she said happily, then paused. "Why are we still dawdling about? Come on! To the pitch!"

"You were the one who-" said Lily indignantly, starting to protest, but giving up when she saw the figure already skipping ahead of her. "Yay," she sighed.

Smiling and waving at people they knew, they walked up the stands till Lily couldn't stand it. "Can't we sit here?" she asked with a definite quaver in her voice.

"Nope!" said Andrea cheerfully. "We need to be at the very top to get a good aim! Besides, less people there!"

"Fine," replied Lily, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths. "Just give me a few seconds to… to get up there."

"Okey-dokey, ra-vi-oli!"

(Many minutes later.)

"Lily? We're causing a jam."

"Oh, wait a second you lot!" she shouted at the crowd below her. "I'm going!"

"Lily? You do realize that to go up, you actually have to move?"

"Alright, alright, just another minute!"

"You said that ten bloody minutes ago!"

"Lily? Why are you just standing here?" asked a familiar voice. She snapped her eyes open to see a concerned face that made her stomach do gymnastics.

"Heya, Remus!"

"Hi, Andrea. Lily? Are you alright?" he asked.

"It's heights, her worst fear. She can't even stand on her bed without feeling dizzy."

"Shut it, Andrea," Lily muttered, flushing furiously. Remus so didn't need to know that.

"Come on," said Remus, grinning at her and taking hold of her hand. Lily turned and interesting shade of red. "Which row?"

"Top one! The very top toppity top!"

"Is she feeling okay?" he asked, pulling an unusually willing Lily along. "By the way, why are you sitting so high up if you don't like heights?"

"Huh?" asked Lily; unable to form a proper sentence as she was busy melting into a happy puddle.

"Because we need to support Taylor!" answered Andrea smoothly. "It's easier for her to how concerned we are for her from the top… and to… cheer. Go, Taylor go! Yea! Gryffindor rules! What are you staring at?" she snapped at the eyebrows that were raised in her direction.

"Oh… um… d'you mind if I sit with you guys? Peter's trying to catch up for NEWTs and stuff," he reddened slightly before looking hopefully at them.

"Erm… actually, I don't think that that's such a good idea…"

"Of course you can!" blurted out Lily enthusiastically.

"But Lily! The prank-"

"Andy? Aren't those lovely boots Isabelle's wearing?"

"Huh? Where? Ooh! That is so French! Loving the look, Izzy!"

"Sports fans of all houses! Professors! Witches and wizards! Welcome to the first game of the year between the two houses, Gryffindor and Hufflepuff!" boomed out Elizabeth Jordan's voice across the pitch. "Yes, an exiting day this is with a fantastic line up for each team! The Hufflepuff team has certainly improved, most likely due to their new captain, Amos Diggory!"

Professor McGonagall, who had previously been standing behind Elizabeth, prepared to wrench the microphone from her the moment she showed a hint of biased ness, relaxed.

"And here the come! Lohan, Turner, McPhearson, Bishop, Sanchez, Jones and Diggory! But, sadly! They fail to even compare to the Gryffindor team!" continued Lizzie brightly, inching cautiously away from McGonagall. "Johnson, Stuart, Bell, Lee, Black, Thomas and Potter! Look at that form, that grace, that style! See all of them, particularly a certain one in black and white!" she added suggestively. "Ah – Ah – Ah! I'll be good!"

"Alright then. The game has begun! Excellent formation by the Gryffindor Chasers. Lee with the Quaffle, coming to intercept is Diggory. Close, but no, passed to Johnson, Lee, Bell, Johnson and score! 10 – 0 to Gryffindor!"

"Now?" asked Andrea, poking Lily who seemed rather dazed sitting next to Remus.

"What? Oh… no, wait till Gryffindor's a few more points ahead."

"Beat those Bludgers, Sirius! Hahahaha! Did you see how that one almost broke Bishop's nose? Oh, that was goo- I mean… umm… really, really horrible. Easy, professor. Quaffle is currently with Diggory, Bell and Lee in pursuit, but he passes left, no that was a fake, right instead to Sanchez who drops it because… he sneezed. Eww, someone get the guy a tissue."

"Jordan!"

"What? Professor, if I wanted to be mean and painfully descriptive, I would've mentioned the greenish yellow mucus that he's wiping on his sleeve."

Professor McGonagall didn't reply as she was busy looking disgusted along with the rest of the female population.

"Okay, Quaffle now with Lee and sc- no… blocked by Jones, but caught by Bell who fakes and yes! Score! 20-0 to Gryffindor!"

"Quaffle now in possession of Hufflepuff Chaser Sanchez, speeding along the field, closely tailed by his fellow Chasers and Lee. He passes to Diggory just as he's about to sneeze. Lord… that's gross. I'm telling the truth, professor! Diggory passes to McPhearson, who shoots and… an amazing save by Thomas! Johnson takes the Quaffle, drops it as he ducks a Bludger, passed off to Bell, Lee, Bell… and Lee scores! 30-0 to Gryffindor!"

Andrea and Lily whooped and cheered loudly, moving away as discreetly as possible from Remus. Fortunately, it wasn't hard as he was hollering happily with the rest of the crowd, his eyes glued on the players.

"Alright, then," said Lily, "D'you want to count off, or should I?"

"You do it," answered Andrea, gripping her wand tightly and staring at the field grimly.

"Right, on the count of three. One, two, three!"

……

James had been circling round the field for the Snitch and feeling rather bored. He wondered vaguely whether he should try the Wronski Feint just to annoy the other Seeker. At least that would present some way to vent out his anger. As if he hadn't noticed Remus leading Lily up the steps, hand in hand, and then having the nerve to sit with her! At the very top bench! They did it just to flaunt it in front of him… Ooh, yes they did. He broke off his train of thoughts to scratch his arm, wondering when his uniform had become so itchy.

"Still no sign of the Snitch yet!" boomed Lizzie's bright voice. "Fantastic Bludger hit by Bl- bl- buh… buh…" Unbelievably, she fell silent, speechless along with the rest of the field.

James looked up from his search in confusion and frowned. Professor McGonagall was staring at them with her mouth open; Liz was gaping like a goldfish. Everyone in the stands was so quiet and still that a pin drop would've sounded like a crash. Only two figures were on the move, heading towards the commentator's box. He saw a flash of red. Suspicion prickling at the back of his mind, he scanned the players. Aside from the fact that they were like statues, the people dressed in red, yellow and pink seemed completely normal. Wait a second… pink?

Squinting in amazement at Sirius, who was doing the exact same thing to him, he saw him wearing a lurid pink frilly monstrosity. It had huge poofy sleeves and a billowing skirt that only reached his knees. Around the sleeves were wads and wads of itchy white lace, including an enormous lace collar with a ridiculous fuchsia ribbon. A gold bow twice its size was at the back of the dress. When the wind blew, his many velvet skirts lifted up, revealing even more lace and several layers of organza. Looking down at himself in horror, he saw the exact same thing, right up to the gold headband with frilly pink daisies and sown to the pink satin shoes with a large tacky sunflower and white stockings.

The silence was broken by Taylor's yell, "Lily Anne Evans and Andrea Persephone Rose! You bloody promised me you wouldn't do that!"

Then the laughter began. The stands erupted with peals of it, chortling and chuckling. The Hufflepuff players were howling, clutching their brooms and struggling to stay on. James felt is face heat up, as if being a bloody can-can girls wasn't bad enough? Those other house idiots were so busy guffawing that they didn't even notice… that his team had already gotten back into action and scored four goals.

"Don't call me that, Taylor!" yelled Andrea through the microphone. "And hello Quidditch fans! I'm afraid that Professor McGonagall and Elizabeth Jordan are currently unavailable as the former has taken the latter to the hospital wing. The dear couldn't stand the sight of her darling manly Sirius Black wearing, as all of you can see, a lovely pink taffeta frock designed by your very own, Andrea Rose! Thank you! Thank you very much!"

Andrea shut up for a moment when Lily hit her on the head.

"Fine, back to more pressing matters. If you would kindly tear your attention away from my dazzling models who are going drag, you would see that above the pitch, the very mark which shall tell you who was responsible for the fascinating display above you!"

There was an appreciative applause and more laughter as people saw the three entwined flowers, but a large percentage of the girls ere noted to look stormy and annoyed.

"Taylor, don't have a hernia!" continued Andrea happily, oblivious to the professors who were rushing towards the box to stop her. "You'll notice that we never actually broke our promise. We aren't really harming Gryffindor's chances, despite the fact that Black's bat is attacking its owner (Many turned to see Sirius hitting himself with his bat before frantically flying away, headband askew and the bat hot on his trail.), because as most of you have failed to notice, being occupied enjoying the entertainment provided, Gryffindor's leading 90-0! Hahahaha! See that, Hufflepuffs? Too busy laughing to even notice that the Gryffindor team was back in action. James Potter is going into a spectacular dive for the Snitch! Hahahaha! Oi! Potter! Your shoe fell off! I spent time and- AIEEEE! Help me, Lily! Help mee-ee-ee…e … Agh…"

James pulled up triumphantly fro his dive, but his joy slightly spoilt by the large sign hovering just above them.

"I apologize for the informal commentating by students who will certainly be receiving punishment," announced Madam Hooch dangerously, but not without a hint of laughter in her voice. "But Gryffindor win! 240-0! Now… umm… Mr. Potter, I believe that Mr. Black's bat has knocked him out. Kindly escort him to the Hospital Wing and change out of that ridiculous outfit. Thank you."

……

The fact that two of Hogwarts's females' most coveted male idols had been paraded around the Quidditch field, (one being chased by his own equipment.) in attire that a six year old wouldn't have been caught dead in would've been the talk of the school for weeks, had it not been for their determination to erase it from everyone's minds as soon as possible. Which explained why they were changing into their Animagi forms at the dead of night two days later.

"Carefully now," hissed James. With several pops, a magnificent white stag, large black dog and small rat were standing at the staircase to the Gryffindor Girl's 7th year dorms.

They trotted up the stairs carefully, the alarm not sounding as Godric Gryffindor had obviously not thought of the possibility that boys would be desperate enough to become Animagi just to get into the girl's dorms. Transforming back, James hurriedly grabbed Peter's shoulder to stop him from running in.

"Wait," he whispered. Months of getting mercilessly pranked by them had caused him to develop respect and caution when dealing with them. Nodding to Sirius, he raised his wand in a sweeping motion, letting white dust scatter over everything. Moments later, spots and shades of red appeared around the door way and the room.

Avoiding the patches of neon, they inched their way into the sleeping girls' room. Heading to different locations, they started to dig.

……

"Did the house elves finish washing my red rosebud underwear yet?" asked Andrea, frowning as she rifled through her drawer. "I wanted to wear them when I meet Clark Davies in the Astronomy Tower tonight."

"As much as it may amaze you, Andy, I don't really pay attention to your undergarments," said Lily dryly, rolling her eyes and pulling on her school robes.

"Besides, what does it matter what underwear you're wearing anyway?" added Taylor, lacing up her shoes.

"My poor Taylor," sighed Andrea. "So young, so naïve."

"I happen to be a month older than you!"

Arguing and bickering, they made their way to the hall. Seating themselves, they began to pile their plates with food. As usual, owls came soaring into the hall, making them glance up before continuing their argument about ruffles and frills. (Don't ask.)

"Don't you see? The right amount of ruffles just shout out 'Look at me world. I'm hot, feminine and fashionable'!"

"You were the one who always went for the sleek kind of outfits!"

"But if you read the latest issue of 'Witch Weekly' You'd know that ruffles are the new elegance."

"Now, see? If you put this much effort into the charms paper Flitwick gave us, you wouldn't be scribbling it at the last minute and getting detention."

"What Charms paper?"

"Girls, post's coming, either of you expecting anything?" asked Taylor, glancing up at the barrage of owls.

"Nope."

"Are you trying to curse me?"

"Wait a second," said Lily, frowning at the swarm of birds. "Is it just me, or are those owls kind of colourful?"

"Huh?"

"Oh my God."

Amidst the fowls of white, grey and brown, there was yellow, blue, red and pink, all with bits of lace decorating them, which was unusual even in Hogwarts, as owls didn't often fly with many varieties of girl's underwear and feminine needs, like sanitary napkins, tampons, push-up, strapless, and Wonder bras, lace and silk panties, thongs and so on.

"Hey!" yelled Andrea, pointing to somewhere in the middle of the maelstrom. "There's the red rosebud underwear I was looking for this morning!"

All the students and teachers glanced up and gawped.

"Oh, wow Andrea, the entire school really needed to know that," mumbled Lily, flushing like the setting sun while Taylor stared at her porridge like it contained the secrets of the universe.

Lily closed her eyes and prayed that the charmed items would go away with the owls.

But that would've been too easy, wouldn't it?

Forcing herself to open her eyes, she grimaced when she saw an owl wearing her powder blue panties with pink hearts and ribbons on its head. (Petunia had given it to her for Christmas just to spite her.) The material was covering its eyes, causing it to fly around in circles before crashing into a pillar and falling… directly next to James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. Remus was sitting near them, gawking at the Unmentionables that were still fluttering to and fro.

Gales and gales of laughter rang through the hall, causing the three girls to sink further into their quagmire of humiliation.

"Students of Hogwarts! Today, there will be an acrobatic air show, courtesy of three quarters of the Marauders!" announced James, his magically magnified voice echoing through the room. "Subjects of this display were of course, generously donated –albeit unknowingly- by Evans, Rose and Lee! Hey, Evans!" he yelled, enjoying her embarrassment and picking up the garment that had fallen beside him and tossing it to Lily, "This yours?"

James wasn't Quidditch Captain for nothing; it landed directly in front of Lily, on her bacon. In a blaze of fury, she set it on fire, unfortunately, the grease on the plate caught fire, resulting with her having to put it out with her hat, her face feeling hotter that the flames.

"And we will now continue with our performance!" said James smuggle, gesturing to Sirius, who twirled his wand, making the underwear first spin around like a cyclone before circling the hall in a neat formation. "And don't even think about hexing us, girls, we've got a Shield Charm around us," he added, seeing the three of them raise their wands threateningly.

Blocking out James's loud obnoxious comments, the three victims watched helplessly, unable to even 'Accio' their belongings, as Sirius's grip on the garments was too strong. They, along with the rest of the school, witnessed the objects form patterns and do routines, rather resembling the leprechauns from Ireland… except, you know, that was underwear, and they were little men with fake gold.

At the end of it, their feminine items were used to spell out the letter 'M', the sentence 'Who's winning now?' and a hot pink thong (which nobody claimed.) was enlarged and hung beside the Hogwarts flag. They received a month of detention and lost 50 points from Gryffindor. (It was a good thing James was Head Boy.)

After they had received several earfuls from McGonagall, Lily went up to the smirking Marauders, leaving Andrea and Taylor to retrieve what was rightfully theirs.

"That," began Lily angrily. The three of them cringed inwardly; Remus studied a crack on the floor with great interest, "has to be one of the most unoriginal pranks in the world! If it weren't for the flying with the Owls, it would so have been in the book of extreme clichés!"

Their jaws dropped open, whatever it was they had been expecting, it certainly wasn't that, "E-excuse me?"

"You guys call yourselves Marauders, the number one pranksters in the school!" snarled Lily, her anger and wounded pride making her already sharp tongue considerably sharper. "You ought to be ashamed!"

"Oh yeah?" countered James. "Well, your little doing the Quidditch match (he obviously couldn't bring himself to say it.) wasn't exactly the most praise-worthy prank either! In fact, it seemed pretty similar to the… the… other time," ended James, spluttering slightly.

"Had trouble being a can-can girl, Potter?" said Lily snidely. "You think that you guys are so great! I bet that we could do a prank that would leave the school in stitches for months, you'd never be able to top it."

"I'm shaking in my bunny slippers," said James in a matching tone. "If only I could live so long."

"Keep talking like that, James, and you won't," hissed Remus. Sirius and Peter were distracted, playing with some 'Spring Fresh' brand pads on the floor.

"Take my word for it," said Lily determinedly, "We'll have a prank a week from now that'll leave you wallowing in shame till the next century!'

"Right, Evans," snorted James, even though his brain was telling him that then was a very good time to shut up. "And I'm a flying piglet."

"You will be, James Thomas Potter," answered Lily, letting a chilly smile creep up her face. "You will be."

"OY! Lily! Are the flowery lavender undies yours?"

So much for looking threatening.

……

"I just had to give us a time limit, didn't I?" wailed Lily, pacing around her dorm despairingly. "Why? Why!"

"Because you were too caught up in the moment to think properly," answered Andrea bluntly, arranging her vast amount of clothes at one side of the room. "Now… Pink casual robes can go with can go with cream blouse and diamond jewelry. Designer Vincci kitten heels with star studs and Chanel handbag…"

"Sorry, Lily," said Taylor sympathetically. "I'm completely drained of ideas. By the way," she added, staring at Andrea who was muttering to herself. "Didn't you arrange your wardrobe two weeks ago?"

"Cashmere rose scarf goes with Justin flowered hat… What? Oh, didn't you hear? Of course you didn't. Pink is the new black. Which means that I've got to completely rematch my clothes."

"You don't even like pink, Andy," said Lily, stopping her pacing to eye the rather unstable mountain teetering near her.

"I do now," she said, sending a few robes back into her closet with a wave of her wand. "Anyway, I need to pick out a Muggle outfit for my date with John McKinsey. He's half Muggle," she explained. "Apparently, he prefers girls who wear Muggle clothes."

"What kind of girl picks out her clothes a whole day before a date anyway?" grumbled Taylor, flopping on her bed and reading Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts notes.

"Most girls," said Lily, "At least the ones who don't keep thinking about Budgies and Switches do at any rate."

"Bludgers and Snitches!"

"Half see-through white blouse with flared sleeves, by D & G, pale pink spaghetti strap top from Shoppe… deep blue unsymmetrical skirt by Athena… Something's missing," she mumbled, holding the clothes up in the mirror and staring at herself, "Maybe a scarf?"

Lily sighed and resumed pacing. It had been four days since she'd made her boastful declaration to James, and just her luck, not a single one of them had an idea in their heads. A brilliant one that was, there were lots of stupid ones. Another three days to go and she was supposed to manage this with her Head Duties and NEWT mock exams coming up soon.

"I've got it!" squealed Andrea. "Lily? Where's your silver butterfly clip with little sapphires? It would go perfectly with this!"

"Andy," said Lily, on the verge of hitting the wall with her head. "I am working under pressure here. Unless I miraculously come up with a heart-stopping plan in two seconds, I will never be able to look James Potter in the eye again!" she paused for a breath. "Besides, I haven't had it since middle of fifth year."

"Butterfly sandals with straps… Mmm? Why?"

"Sirius destroyed it when I wore it on a date," she said, sighing slightly, mourning over the loss of her clip. "How was I to know that he was mortally afraid of butterflies? What kind of person thinks that butterflies are out to conquer the world? But he did me a white gold flower clip with an amethyst in the middle."

"No thanks," she said with disgust. "I'm not touching anything Sirius Black gave."

"It's a really stupid fear though, isn't it?" said Taylor. "Figures that he'd be friends with James. Birds of a feather…"

"What do you mean?" asked Lily slowly, turning to her.

"It's ridiculous really," said Taylor, waving her hand. "I found out about it when I joined the Quidditch team in the third year. D'you notice that whenever we throw a party here, there're never any balloons?"

"Well… now that you mention it… yeah…" said Lily.

"That's because, once, I thought that it would be nice to Charm a whole ton of 'em around the common Room, but when James came in, he ran straight out again, screaming like a banshee," said Taylor, giggling slightly. "The other three had to come in and Vanish all of them. Even so, it was over an hour before he dared to step in again."

"So that's what he's afraid of?" asked Andrea, finally meticulously arranging her clothes back into her closet. "Balloons?"

"Not balloons in particular," she replied. "The fact that they pop. Seems that one of his aunts had a spell gone wrong on the balloons during his 5th birthday. All of them exploded when he blew out his candles. Now, he's got a lasting phobia."

Andrea and Lily burst into hysterical laughter.

"Balloons!" snorted Andrea. "Butterflies!"

Lily stopped laughing, wheezing, she sat up straight, her large green eyes shining with inspiration. "I've got it!"

……

History of Magic class. A dead professor. Another Goblin Rebellion. Bliss. Not. James spent his time fidgeting nervously. It was Tuesday. It had been a week since his last prank. It was turning him into a quivering, shaking, twitching blob. It was pathetic.

There was the sound of a chair shifting. James jumped on reflex, swiveling his head wildly as he looked for the source of the sound. It was… Sirius, juggling a few balls that he'd Transfigured from wads of paper. Probably impressing… what's her name… Annabelle? Belle? Bella? Peter was watching Sirius juggle with occasional praises. Remus was near them, sleeping.

Very peacefully, noted James resentfully. Then again, it wasn't like he was about to face what was promised to be a horrendous fate. He turned to see the cause of his agitation. She was sitting to the right of him in front, so he had a very good view of what she was doing. He stared at her; her long auburn hair was glinting in the sunlight, shoulders hunched slightly as she scribbled something. She threw the piece of parchment the she'd been scribbling on to Andrea before taking out a black notebook.

Abruptly, she turned to face him, he flushed, annoyed by himself for being caught in the act. She gave him a sneaky smirk. Yes, that was the word to describe it. Sneaky. Her secretive smiles for the past three days had made him paranoid. She turned back to scribble something on her notebook. Squinting, he could see Andrea reading the note that she'd passed before throwing it into the bin, but it bounced off the rim and fell onto the floor. A Chaser she was not. He frowned when he saw the three of them with identical notebooks.

Then, the bell rang, students scrambled out of their seats, eager to get away from the pit of boredom. He watched as the three of them stood up and shoved their books into their bags. Without zipping up her pack, Andrea had hurried off to talk to some Ravenclaw.

"Prongs!" called Peter excitedly, his voice rising to a squeak. "I know what they're going to do! We can avoid their prank!"

James, Sirius and Remus turned from him. He was by the bin, holding the scrap of parchment that Andrea had failed to throw in. The message scrawled on it was in Lily's writing.

'Remember, be on the 6th floor an hour after dinner. Don't be late! We'll get those stinking Marauders then!'

They stared at it for a few moments, James voiced out what all of them were thinking, (well, except Peter.) "It's too easy, it doesn't seem right."

Remus didn't comment, (James cursed him for being neutral.) Sirius just stared at it, before surprisingly saying, "You're right, they wanted us to find this."

James remembered the smirk Lily had given him before turning back to write in a plain black notebook. He knew that something was wrong with that picture. Lily never took notes since Sirius had given her those copies (damn him) … and the other two had the exact same ones.

"The notebooks they keep writing in," said James, looking at Remus, "they're actually passing messages aren't they?"

"Yes," answered Remus. "But there's no point in you trying to read them, they never leave those around. Besides, there's a Vanishing Charm on every page."

"How d'you know?" asked Peter, Sirius had torn up the parchment and thrown it into the bin.

Because I taught it to them," said Remus with a shrug.

"Seems that Rose was a little too eager to talk to John today," said James triumphantly, picking up the book from the floor. He flipped through the blank pages until he felt a slightly moist page with a few smudges. He smiled, ink, just Vanished, not quite dried yet. "Padfoot, your Revealer, please."

Rubbing vigorously along the page, words began to appear.

T: Are they really that stupid?

A: Probably.

L: You better believe it.

T: So? What's the plan?

A: To wear my adorable salmon baby doll dress and star necklace on my next date with John.

T: Not that plan, did you really think I would actually be interested?

L: Mmm... Room of Requirement straight after dinner. We can set up the whole thing there.

A: How well do you think my suede boots would go with it? Maybe my cream beaded scarf?

T: Not caring.

L: Just make sure the two of you are there to help me, k?

"That's insulting," said Sirius sulkily.

"Well we'll show them," said James. "We'll turn up there before them and foil whatever they're planning."

……

"Oy! Chelsea!" yelled Sirius. "Seen Evans, Rose or Lee?"

"Yeah!" she yelled back. "They're in their dorm talking!"

"K! Thanks!" he said before heading to James. He'd suggested that they do some checking up first just to make sure they weren't walking into a trap. They left Sirius it to Sirius, who had found Chelsea loitering by the portrait hole.

The three of them meant to get to the Room first, lie in wait and spring upon the unsuspecting girls when they arrived, then proceeding to hex and curse them before leaving them there to be found by a house elf or a student. To add the cherry on top, Peter had gotten a wizard video recorder for Christmas, they figured that they could record everything and show it to the school.

When they arrived, the door was already there, thinking that the girls had opened up the room earlier, they stepped in. The first thing that James noticed was that it was pitch black. Immediately, he concentrated, turn on the lights… turn on the lights… but …nothing happened.

"Padfoot? Wormtail? Think along with me, I can't see like this," said James, feeling confused.

Suddenly, (Just like in those villain-kind of movie.) the lights flashed on. James squinted in the bright glare, his eyes watering as his optical senses adjusted to the new light. "Thanks, mates," he said, shielding his eyes with his hand. "Never knew you could think that har- har – h…"

James could barely form a word as his surroundings were revealed. Big, small, round, poodle-shaped, all of them! The epitome of evil. Balloons. Sweat was beading on his forehead, he wanted to take a step back to get further away from those things, but his legs were frozen in fear. Turning is neck slowly; he saw a few more of those dreaded evil things float to block his exit. He wanted, he needed to get out of there. Those horrendous bits of blown up rubber, their skins stretched so thinly, that a little more air, the slightest touch…and… and… He closed his eyes tightly and tried not to hyperventilate.

"Good Lord, Potter," came a familiar voice, venturing to twist his head to the source, he saw a shimmering image of Lily. "You really are afraid of balloons aren't you?"

"Buh- buh- buh- ball- ballo… buh-"

"If you're trying to say 'but', you aren't doing a very good job of it," she paused, smiling happily. "Now let's see. In those corny movies, bad guys always reveal their evil little plot about now right?" she asked, frowning. "Alright, then. If you're as smart as the teachers make you out to be, you won't move so much. You see, I've charmed the balloons so that the tiniest bit more friction than the rubbing of themselves together will cause them to explode ten times louder and more violently than usual. Meaning that you make more than a twitch and one will blow up, and the another, and another, and another…"

She grinned evilly, doing a pretty good job of imitating an evil villain. Picking up a balloon near her, she poked it with a pin. James squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to jump.

"I knew that you'd fall for that idiotic ruse," continued Lily. "You didn't actually think that Andrea would be careless enough to just drop her book like that, did you?" she smiled at the astounded look of realization on his face. "Of course you did, but, then again, she's a good actress. And…if you're wondering about Chelsea, she's with us. Wasn't too pleased about Black dropping her like a hot potato one week into the term."

James wasn't wondering about it, but she just had to rub salt into the open wound. His neck, legs, arms and basically his entire body was starting to tire from standing still so long.

"Don't even try getting the room to let you out. It only listens to the first ones in it," said Lily, hammering the final nail onto his coffin. "Don't worry, Pettigrew's camera'll be put to good use."

……

Peter was curled into a little ball in a corner, sniffling slightly. It was so dark.

So very dark.

The silence was deafening.

"Hello?" he called out, his quavering voice echoing vaguely around him. He felt nervously for his wand, only to find nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing around him. Nothing about him. Just him. All alone. To fend for himself against the terrors of the obsidian light.

He'd never been so terrified in his life. (A/N Coward. Sorry.)

He whimpered and continued to hug himself tightly. His imagination played with his mind, adding more fearsome creatures and fears to the images that the girls had conjured up. He saw glittering red eyes and glistening fangs. Humming and rocking himself, he tried to close his eyes to shut out the eeriness.

"A- anyone?" he whined, on the verge of tears.

He lay in that corner, rocking himself for who knows how long until there as a crash, the breaking of a wall and a large figure running in with an uncountable amount of pint sized beings following after him. This caused him to wet his pants and faint. And that was the way he remained until the girls remembered him and dragged him out in disgust.

……

Beep.

Flutter.

Beep.

Hiss.

It was dark.

Beep.

It was spooky.

It was actually kinda cool when you thought about it.

Yes, those were the weird, senseless thoughts that were going through the head of Sirius Black. In fact, he decided, it seemed very like the Muggle kind of picturey thingies that moved in little boxes. You know, when there was a guy who wore a trench coat and hat, and soon, there'd be a skimpily dressed woman on his lap as he puffed on a pipe or one those cylindery things that Muggles suck in their mouths.

Wicked.

Where were the skimpily dressed women anyway?

Beep.

Except for that annoying little beeping sound. That really spoilt cool silent atmosphere… it even had an occasional swish and light brush of something against his cheek. He looked around and saw a little red light from where the insistent beeping was coming from. He peered at it carefully, imagining himself with a magnifying glass and deerstalker hat, like… Shersock Holes or whatever his name was.

Then, he felt something land lightly on his shoulder. Very light. Almost… weightless even. No… he thought, freezing… it couldn't be.

The lights in his room flashed on just like James's and there they were, their beady little eyes glinting. They spread their great wings with the swoosh that absolutely screamed 'I want to kill Sirius Black and take over the world!'. The bright colour of their wings didn't fool him for a second. Those cheerful shades, all to hide their true dark, dark intentions. Oh, he knew it. He knew it all.

There was a voice behind him, saying "Black."

He turned his head, only to see a huge butterfly resting on his shoulder as he stared at its large wings, patterned with two large eyes. His breath was coming out in short, harsh gasps. It was talking to him! They were everywhere! Some were resting on him; some were on the floor, hundreds! Thousands! Millions! Gazillions! All flying up, down, left, right and other dimensions that were known only to their foul little insect minds.

Sirius screamed like an idiot and ran around the room wildly, butterflies touching him, their feelers waving around to examine his skin as to figure out how best to torture him! They knew! They knew that he knew all about their little plot! And they had come to destroy him! And he knew that they knew that he knew! And they knew that he knew that they knew that he knew! And he knew that they knew…

He was so caught up with screeching and jumping and skittering that he barely noticed Andrea's very annoyed face on the screen, probably due to his lack of attention. After calling for him a few times only having to hear him scream something like 'They speak! They speak!', she gave up and just poured nectar over him. This sent the butterflies really chasing after him.

You now know how the Marauders spent their time trapped in different sections of the Room of Requirement. With James Potter standing like a plank of wood, Peter Pettigrew huddled up like a baby and him scuttling about like a maniac.

……

Sirius had a weapon. It was long, hard and fully loaded. (Not like that you dirty-minded person, you.) And he could use it. Unlike James who didn't dare to move and Peter who had dropped his wand at the entrance and was too scared to venture forth that two meters to get it. So he used it. Very violently.

BOOM.

CRASH.

BONK.

"AAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!"

As he tried to curse, hex, stun, destroy and blast the harmless butterflies into oblivion with his vast knowledge of jinxes, he kept missing, therefore shattering the stone walls to rubble as the insects chased him and flicked their long tongues to get the nectar. He went so ballistic that he managed to get a hole in a wall big enough for him to run through. He ran into another room with the butterflies still following him.

The room was dark.

Ah, so this was where Peter came in.

……

He was having a leg cramp.

A very painful leg cramp.

And he was pretty sure that his other leg had fallen asleep.

Peachy.

But he couldn't move, because those horrible rubbery air-filled objects were bobbling ever so slightly around him. He couldn't even reach for his wand to protect himself. But there was no protection against them. He'd tried to inch away several times, but they'd foiled his plans by floating ever so innocently near him, like they hadn't even meant to.

As if.

Besides, he was having another problem. He needed to use the loo.

THUMP.

Uh-oh.

Those shrieks of terror sounded vaguely familiar.

THUMP.

He glanced nervously at the wobbling balloons.

Then, the wall burst open and Sirius came running in, oblivious to the shards of brick he sent flying in. Debris, butterfly and crazed best mate alike were touching, hitting and bumping into…

James felt his heart literally gripped by terror.

BABOOM.

……

"…And this concludes our presentation for the evening," said Andrea brightly, gesturing to the huge screen that the house elves had provided. After leaving Taylor to place the camera around the Room, Lily had successfully linked it up for a dinner show in the Great Hall. She gestured to Lily, who immediately froze the frame, showing a running Sirius from butterflies, a very stiff James in the midst of balloons and an unconscious Peter.

Taylor ran in with the camera before joining Lily and Andrea on the table, linking arms and bowing proudly.

"Thank you one and all," she continued to the howls of hysterical laughter. "There will be another performance tomorrow as we must now run madly for our lives because it appears that Professor McGonagall has finally snapped out of her trance! Night all!"

……

The next morning, for strange, unknown reasons, there was a black piglet with eagle wings floating around the Great Hall, squealing loudly.

A/N: Thank God, I've finally finished typing this bloody thing. Lord, I feel old, this was freaking long. Hmm, three pranks in one chapter… not bad, huh? Well, actually, this is just a stepping stone, in the next chapter, important events will happen that will be the real turning point. The last prank has significance. Anywho, I have bad news, my mum let slip that she wants to ban me again. AGAIN! Ugh. Sooo… I'm not sure when the next chapter will be out.