Suddenly a soldier walked up and cleared his throat. They both turned to him as he spoke.
"Ahem, ahem, I just looked up in the book of freaks and it said this is the "Mooquatch", which is a cross breed of ugliness and stupidity." he smiled as he finished his sentence, not knowing it would be the last.
The creature twitched and vomited acid on it causing the soldier to die instantly. It then turned to Zhuge Liang.
Zhuge Liang sat still on his horse. He showed no fear on his face but inside he felt uneasy with this creature sitting in front of him. Yue Ying also felt this. Zhang Fei rode up next to it and jumped off his horse. He looked up and stared it in the eyes.
"You don't scare me! I am the mighty Zhang Fei! I challenge you to a fight you freak!" Zhang Fei punched it in the face. It fell over instantly. Zhang Fei turned to Zhuge Liang and laughed. "That was a lot easier than I expected!"
But that was the last thing he said as the mooquatch spit acid on him, killing him instantly like the soldier. Zhuge Liang was getting more scared by this fearsome beast. It stood back up on its feet and roared, beating its chest. Zhuge Liang looked at it for a moment, carefully trying to pick out the right words to say to it.
"Mooquatch... what is it that you want with us?" Zhuge Liang asked it. The mooquatch scratched its head and stared at Zhuge with a stupid expression of possibly not understanding. Zhuge Liang was about to talk when the mooquatch started to speak.
"Chu...ko...Li...ang!" spoke the monster shocking everybody around it.
"It can speak?" a soldier asked.
"No it can fart, of course it can speak!" said another soldier.
"Actually it can both fart and speak..." said a soldier behind them but was knocked out by both of them.
Zhuge Liang sweatdropped and wondered what it would want from him.
Zhao Yun looked at the beast as it slowly walked closer to Zhuge Liang. He held onto his spear with a firm grip, ready to attack it if it tries anything bad. The beast however, did not have a look on its face like it would attack him. It looked calm. Zhuge Liang stared at the creature as it kept getting closer.
"Chuko...Liang..." The creature said again to Zhuge Liang. Zhuge raised an eyebrow at it wondering what it wanted.
"Yes, I am Zhuge Liang. What is it that you want 'mooquatch'?" Zhuge Liang asked it staring cautiously wondering what it would do or say in return.
The beast's eyes were bright and shone with love as it smiled at Zhuge Liang. Yue Ying stared in horror as it came closer and closer. Huang Zhong couldn't take it any longer and with a loud yell, he struck the beast with his sword in the arm. The creature roared in pain and smacked him on the ground. He fell on a rock and broke his hip bone in the process and slowly and painful died. He was only 67 and nobody ever mourned him.
Wei Yan shouted in some tribal language and charged at the beast. He leaped off his horse and tackled the mooquatch. But she just side stepped him and Wei Yan crashed into a soldier, causing himself and the soldier to tumble off the side of the mountain into a cactus field. Both men were impaled by the cacti.
Zhuge Liang looked to his wife and she gently touched his hand. They both looked at the creature as it now stood directly in front of them staring at Zhuge Liang intently. She had a strange look on her face which surprised both of them. To the others she looked at them angry, but to Zhuge Liang she stared with a sort of loving facial expression.
"Chuko...Liang..." it repeated it again. With now Wei Yan, Zhang Fei and Huang Zhong dead, Zhuge Liang started to feel fear, but he tried to dismiss the feeling as Zhao Yun stood bravely to his right side. He did not really fear his life, but Yue Ying's. His wife meant the most to him and if anything were to happen to her he would...no. He did not want to think of that. That could never happen; he would not let that happen.
Zhuge Liang glared at the creature as he spoke.
"What do you want?" he demanded.
The creature did not respond to his question but stared more at him. She put her paw on her chest and then pointed to Zhuge Liang. They all looked at the mooquatch with a very confused look on their faces. They had no clue what the creature was trying to do. It did it a few times while repeating the name "Chuko Liang". Zhuge Liang looked to Zhao Yun, then to Yue Ying and finally to the hairy beast in front of them. He cleared his throat.
"Creature, do you say anything else than 'Chuko Liang'?" Zhuge Liang asked it. She nodded happily to his question, showing that at least she could understand them. She then stared at him repeating his name still. "Could you say something else then?"
Yue Ying's eyes widened as it finally hit her.
"Of course!" she thought. "The mooquatch is..." she gasped.
"Chuko Liang! Chuko Liang! Chuko Liang!" The mooquatch squealed happily.
Zhao Yun raised his eyebrows and spoke up. "My lord, shouldn't we continue to march? What of our battle with Wei?"
The mooquatch punched Zhao Yun in the head knocking him off his horse. Zhao Yun quickly stood up and charged at the beat with his spear and caught her in the side. She roared in pain but quickly took out the spear from her side, which Zhao Yun was still holding, and launched the spear and him off the mountain. Surprisingly, Zhao Yun landed in a lake next to Wei's camp. He went wide eyed and retreated as he saw Cao Ren, Xu Huang, Xiahou Dun and Dian Wei run out with troops.
Back on the mountain, the creature sniffled and looked up at Zhuge Liang. She cried his name many times and rubbed her side. Zhuge Liang sweatdropped.
"My dear...I think that the creature..." Yue Ying began. Zhuge Liang looked at his wife confusedly as the creature whined his name more.
"This creature...is in love with you!" she declared causing Zhuge Liang and the soldiers to be shocked. Zhuge Liang then stared at the creature blankly as it looked at him.
A soldier started to roll on the ground laughing. He laughed so hard that he ended up wetting himself. The mooquatch bit it and threw the soldier into a cave where bats attacked him. The mooquatch then stared at Zhuge Liang with a loving and sad expression on her face. Zhuge Liang sighed and rubbed his forehead.
"I wonder if this mooquatch has a name or anything..." Zhuge Liang said to Yue Ying. Yue Ying shrugged and they both looked at her.
"Mi...ao...Cai...Miao...CAI!!!!!" it roared. The soldiers yelled around and panicked. They ran around in circles.
"GENERAL XIAHOU YUAN IS HERE! GENERAL XIAHOU YUAN IS HERE!" They yelled. A soldier drew his sword out and charged at the Mooquatch.
"SHIN SUPER MIRACLE SPINNING FLYING CRANE BIRD DRAGON DIVINE RUSHING TORNADO SLAM ELECTRIC GRAVITY ULTRA MOON SWORD CRASH ATTACK!!!" he screamed as he missed hitting the Mooquatch. The mooquatch roared in anger and grabbed it by its throat and tossed it miles away. Nobody ever saw the soldier again. Yue Ying worriedly looked at her husband.
"My husband, our morale is getting low again...and we have lost a lot of soldiers, what shall we do?" she asked. Zhuge Liang sighed.
Zhuge Liang looked around and noticed there was only 5 soldiers, Zhao Yun, Yue Ying and himself left. He thought for a few minutes trying to think of a strategy to get away from this fearsome foe. He finally thought of something.
"Miao Cai... right?" Zhuge Liang asked her. The mooquatch, Miao Cai, nodded her head. "We do not want to hurt you, but you must let us leave. You have killed most of my men and if you actually... love me... like my wife says, then you must let us leave in peace. What do you say?"
The mooquatch snorted and punched its chest furiously. It then picked up Zhuge Liang, tossed him on its shoulders and ran off. Yue Ying gasped and with the remaining soldiers she ran after it. They ran, ran, ran and ran, until the mooquatch stopped and jumped up on a rock. Then it held Zhuge Liang in its arms and cuddled him. Yue Ying frowned at the sight and the soldiers tried not to laugh, instead they snickered.
As night fell, Yue Ying whispered to the soldiers her plan again. They nodded in agreement to her plan. They snuck over to where Miao Cai slept and checked to see if Zhuge Liang was alright. Zhuge saw them but Yue Ying made a sign for him to not move or say anything, they didn't want to cause the beat to awaken.
"We will help you." Yue Ying said quietly to her husband. The soldiers split up, some down to her feet, the others up at her arms. They took out rope and gently wrapped it around her ankles and under her arm pits to her shoulders. They then found solid foundations to support the rope.
"Now!" Yue Ying said quietly, but loud enough for the soldiers to hear. The soldiers and quickly pulled the rope and tied it to the foundations. Miao Cai's arms went flying to the side and Zhuge Laing fell to the ground. Miao Cai roared in anger and shock of what happened. She looked at her arms and legs, now tied up, and roared even more. Zhuge Liang hugged his wife gently and they ran off to their horses. Zhao Yun ran over to them.
"You are alright!" Yue Ying said surprised to see Zhao Yun again. Zhao Yun nodded and looked at the beast, which was somewhat far from view.
"What happened?" Zhao Yun asked them. Zhuge Laing and Yue Ying looked at each other and shook their heads.
"We will tell you later, but for now we need to get out of here as fast as we can." Zhuge Liang told him. Zhao Yun nodded and they quickly rode off with the sound of the beast slowly fading away.
After riding for an hour they finally arrived back home where Liu Bei look surprised to see them. Zhuge Liang told him the bad news and he was sad to hear it.
"Let's go to sleep and we will decide what to do tomorrow morning." Liu Bei told them. They all agreed and went to sleep.
Back on the mountain the ropes broke, freeing the angered beast. She roared loudly and crawled into her cave to sleep.