i think im running out of 'interesting' titles...nevertheless i hope you'll enjoy this. starting this week, ill be a bit busy so expect my next chap to be delayed. really delayed. frankly, im sadden few read this fic, after all it was you guys who wanted to know what happened before MuTsu got together. anyway, enjoy!

Chapter 11: These are My Confessions

Tsuzuki stepped into Muraki's office. Muraki motioned to the secretary, who immediately stood up and left the room. Turning back to his visitor, Muraki offered him a comfortable seat on the couch.

"Please sit. Coffee?"

"No thanks."

"Very well." Muraki took a seat and patted the empty cushion near him. Tsuzuki paused then took the one across instead. Muraki smiled. "Frankly you caught me off guard. Usually you're a bit hesitant on our meetings."

"Today is different."

"Oh, how so?" Muraki pressed closer, his face eager.

"I'm worried about Hisoka."

"What seems to be the problem?"

"I think he's having a really hard time. Maybe work got into him, I'm not sure." Tsuzuki hesitantly continue. "He said he's been having dreams...about you."

"Interesting. Why is that?" Muraki toyed with the pen he pulled out from his coat, uninterested.

"I don't know! You're the doctor here, go figure out why is he having these dreams of you," Tsuzuki retorted.

Muraki looked at him, amused. "Hidden desire, perhaps?"

"This isn't the time to be funny."

"Well then, why is this such a problem? Surely, this will go away in time." Muraki stood up, irritated. He was not pleased at the topic of the conversation.

"Hisoka feels guilty about keeping the case a secret." Tsuzuki looked away.

"And, aren't you?" Muraki looked for his reaction.

"Of course I am. Why do you think I agreed on meeting you everyday? It's not like I have a choice."

"Did you try convincing him?" Muraki inquired.

"Well, I tried to..."

"Hmm...from your tone, I'd say it wasn't a pleasant persuasion." Muraki pointed out to the red mark on Tsuzuki's cheek. "Did that came from him?" Tsuzuki nodded sheepishly. Muraki chuckled.

"How does it feel?" Muraki asked, teasingly.

Tsuzuki glared at him. "A sharp sting, nothing more." He self-consciously rubbed the raw skin.

Muraki pondered about the problem. "Kurosaki doesn't know the full details of what happen and I intend to keep it that way. Exposing the case to new scrutinizing eyes of your department with the full intent to destroy me will ruin the real objective. Kurosaki needs to be reminded why we kept it in the first place." He sat back down and tapped his finger on his knee.

"How are we supposed to do that?" Tsuzuki asked in concern.

"Simple. All you have to do is to trust me." Muraki faced him, smiling.

"And if I don't?"

Muraki sighed. "My dear Tsuzuki, you haven't changed a bit after all those episodes we dearly shared." Tsuzuki stared at him, unperturbed. "Let me ask you a question to clear my intention: have you ever thought about why I would ask my enemy to meet with me everyday for a lovely chat?"

Tsuzuki shifted uncomfortably. "You have your reasons. I'm just doing this for the girl's sake."

"True, you came because of the condition I gave you but the Facquels are now in the past. Ask yourself. Why would I give that condition of willingly let someone get close to me and share intimate conversation everyday?" Muraki questioned.

"We do not have intimate conversation and we are technically not close!" Tsuzuki corrected, stubbornly.

"Please spare me your drama and answer me." Muraki looked at him straight in the eye. "Why?"

Tsuzuki looked away. "I don't know..." he replied uncertainly.

Muraki watched him and smiled. He leaned over Tsuzuki's ear and whispered, "I'm going to state it plainly as possible: I want you." Tsuzuki gasped. Muraki watched him. "I don't just want you, I need you. And I need you to want me. I want you to see me because you need me. Isn't that too hard to figure out?"

Tsuzuki shook his head, confused. "I...I have to go now...they'll probably wonder where I am." He stood up to leave.

Muraki nodded. "If you must, please do," he replied courteously. "I'll be seeing you." Deny it all you want but sooner or later you'll come back and when you do, you will realize that we were meant for each other...Muraki softly closed the door, a grin creeping on his face.

"Ne Onii-chan push me onegai." The little boy begged with his brother standing across the field. The sun was setting and its yellow glow shone on the empty playground. It was nearly dinner time and the children are home safe and cozy. The pair was the only one left in the quiet place.

"Swing it yourself."

The boy gripped the chains tightly, hurt at his brother's words. "Just this once, Onii-chan," he pleaded, tears brewing. Saki shot him a glare before walking away, leaving the boy sitting on the swing. Autumn wind blew gently on the boy's face, drying his tears.

Muraki opened his eyes. The little boy is all grown up now and wiser. Onii-chan, on the other hand, is strapped with tubes, floating on the tank, dead. Soon Onii-chan will pay...he will pay dearly, as soon as his plan is completed. It won't be long. After all, he has finally acquired part of the major components for the task. Soon, I will have the complete set. For now, it's a matter of time...

Muraki smiled. "I think I'll pay a dear someone a visit."

The little boy quietly wept, barely noticing another figure cautiously approaching him.

"Are you lost?" a tiny voice called out.

Muraki looked up, startled. He wiped his cheeks. Standing beside him was a boy of same age who was watching him curiously. Muraki didn't reply and ignored him. He started to play with the sand underneath his shoes.

The boy, without waiting for an invitation, sat on the swing next to Muraki and began to swing himself. The chains groaned from his weight. Eyes closed, hair moving with the wind and a smile on his lips, he didn't seemed to mind Muraki watching his bruised arms and scraped knees. Strangely, the boy's sadden state calmed Muraki. The boy stopped swinging. He turned to face Muraki, smiling.

"Want me to push you? It's no fun swinging by myself."

Muraki's eyes widen with delight and nodded vigorously. The boy happily rushed to his side and gave him a hearty push. Muraki felt the giddy sensation as he was lifted off the ground and gasped with joy.

thats all for now. ill continue the flashback on the upcoming chaps. aw...Muraki is so kawaii! (hug) pls support this fic! your reviews inspire me to go on