So, I realized I forgot this shit at the beginning of the last chapter.
My bad.
I don't own Naruto. If I did, I'd be rich.
Warning; Implied man-love, as well as male-pregnancy. Couples? Well, Naruto and Sasuke, Shikamaru and Temari, Choji and Ino, Kankuro and Kiba, and any other kid with a parent who we know and love has one non-shinobi parent. I think…not really sure yet xD
Simple, no?
Oh yeah, the Title of the story is from 'A Tale of Two Cities' by Charles Dickens. Or as me and my classmates call it; 'A Sale of Two Titties' by Charles Dick-head.
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"Where is he?"
"We don't even know it's a man Nhamo, just…sit down and be quiet or something."
"But the fucker's late, man! It's giving me hives!"
"No it's not, the only thing you're allergic to is dogs."
The banter between the two teammates had been going on for quiet some time; since the room had emptied and the three of team eight had been left to wait for their Jounin sensei, who seemed to have forgotten about them.
"An Inuzuka who's allergic to dogs?"
Kenji finally spoke. He sat near the beck of the classroom, elbows propped on the desk before him, scrutinizing gaze suddenly locked onto his brown-haired teammate as she shifted her feet and wrung her hands together at the front of the room, constantly bouncing back and forth between the window and the door, peering outwards and then biting her lip.
"Shut up." She replied, barely looking at him. She'd heard it all before; an Inuzuka allergic to dogs? Impossible!
Uh, folks, apparently it was. Especially when you were adopted.
Nhamo, originally of the Village Hidden in the Rocks, had been adopted four years previously by one Inuzuka Kiba; an eccentric man who craved a daughter, even though he had no 'pack mate' as he called it.
Sometimes he joked about Naruto and Sasuke, saying that all of the Konoha queers were claimed.
And so he'd adopted an eight year old brunette, painted red triangles on her face, and taught her…nothing. They had fun together; unlike most parents, he hadn't tried to teach his child anything special.
"Would you just calm down?" Roku asked, forcing patience into his strained voice, growing tired of watching her pace. Besides; her lower lip was starting to bleed, "And you say Mal has issues."
"SHUT. UP."
Outside, on one of the benches lining the streets of Konoha, sat team nine. Their sensei stood in front of the three; one of who was munching away rather noisily at a bag of potato chips, another who was lounging against the back of the bench, staring off to the side, and finally, a blonde who sat with perfect posture, hands on her knees, staring at him admiringly. He took note of her whiskered face.
He'd gotten the Kyuubi.
Oh goody.
"Introduce yourselves." He instructed, idly fiddling with the senbon held between his teeth. There was silence for a moment (well, silence other than the sounds of chewing and crunching) before the blonde girl finally spoke up.
"I'm Uchiha Malvika!" She was excited, her speech breathy, "I'm twelve years old and I really, really, really, really, really want to be the greatest ninja ever! My Tou-san says that I can't, because Roku, that's my brother, says that Roku'll always be better than me. But my Daddy says I can do anything if I try and that Tou-san is just a bitter old man. But really he shouldn't think that about Tou-san because they're married!" The three males stared at her, few of them even comprehending what she'd said, and all in awe of how fast she had spoken.
He'd gotten the Kyuubi.
Oh goody.
"And is that a lolly-pop in your mouth?"
This question caught Genma off guard, but he immediately scowled, "No. It's not. Thank you…Malvika?"
"You can call me Mal. Or Mala, or sometimes, when Tou-san gets really mad he-"
Genma held a hand to stop what was sure to be another very long speech about absolutely nothing and glanced at the other two members of his first Genin team, raising his eyebrows, to the point where they almost disappeared beneath his backwards-tied bandana.
"Fine." Shikago groaned, straightening his posture and running his fingers through his thick ponytail, "I'm Nara Shikago. I'm not really interested in anything. I hate working hard, especially if it's boring. Choni," He jabbed his thumb at the brown haired boy, "Is my best friend, and perky over here," His thumb no turned on Mala, "Really just bugs the hell out of me."
And he fell silent. Malvika rolled her eyes, now slumping back against the bench and folding her arms over her chest. Genma rolled his eyes as well, hands now in his pockets. Twelve year olds…why had he decided to take a Genin team again?
"I'm Akimichi Choni," Fat boy had finally put down his food, and was rubbing his hands together, "I love cheesecake, and, well, I'm really happy about who I got put on a team with." Malvika glanced across Shikago in surprise, eyes widened, "I mean, Shikago is my best friend, and Mal is…" He trailed off, searching his mind for a compliment. He was very aware of the Uchiha staring at him hopefully, "Well, she's a lot of fun to be around."
Genma nodded, "I see. So, I have a little spaz," he pointed at Mal, who grinned, "A bitch," He pointed at Shikago, who scowled, "And a nice guy."
"Pretty much," Choni nodded through a mouth now full of potato chips. Crumpling the bag he tossed it at Shikago's head, only causing the other boy's scowl to deepen considerably, but making Mal giggle.
"Alright, your training with start tomorrow." Genma replied, folding his arms over his chest, "We'll meet…"
"But sensei!" Malvika's hand shot into the air and Genma raised his eyebrows, "You haven't told us anything about you! What's your surname, how old are you? Are you balding? Is that why you wear a bandana instead of just a head-band? If that's not a lolly-pop, what is it? How tall are you? Why…"
Genma's brow was furrowed in frustration as he held up a hand to steam the flow of word puke, "We'll meet tomorrow morning; five o'clock. Training area six."
And he left, turning to walk away. Nothing fancy, nothing showy…boring really. Choni watched him carefully; wondering why their sensei seemed so cold…perhaps he was just nervous. Wasn't sure how to handle his brand new Genin squad.
And he was probably freaking out about Mal.
He glanced across Shikago at the Uchiha. She was twiddling her thumbs idly. She wasn't bright; and he knew it. But she…she had talent. Everything she did had certain flair about it. He'd seen it when she had trained by herself.
Not that he had stalked her. He had just managed to pass by once when she was training all on her lonesome.
In Academy, she had always paired herself with Roku, and had looked bad because of this.
The Akimichi smiled to himself, standing and brushing off the front of his pants. Even if Shikago was skeptic, he himself got the feeling that they were going to make a great team.
"He's still not here!"
And she was still bouncing around. Both he and Kenji were slouched over their desks, practically asleep. It had been about two hours ago that they had watched a positively beautiful sunset from the room's only window. And now, it was dark out, quiet, eerie, and yet, there had been no sign of their sensei.
And he was getting sleepy.
"We know Nhamo." Kenji groaned; he and Roku were now sitting side by side. This was the best the two boys had gotten along in…well, ever. They were rivals, under normal circumstances; both cold and distanced. But Nhamo was wearing thin on their nerves.
"Just shut-up already, I'm trying to sleep." Roku's voice was muffled, his head buried in his arms. He was lingering at the edge of slumber, and could barely open his eyes.
"How come you guys aren't freaking out?!" Nhamo demanded, stomping her foot. Kenji could see exhaustion in her eyes, and yet, on she kept, pacing around the room, muttering to herself. He rolled his eyes.
"Because we're not total dorks."
Nhamo had opened her mouth, preparing an angry reply, as a kunai flew into the room from the window, embedding itself in the opposite wall. Nhamo blinked in confusion, and Kenji raised an eyebrow. Roku didn't move, completely unaware.
Pinned to the wall by the kunai was a folded piece of paper.
Unceremoniously, Nhamo ripped the kunai from the wall.
"Dear Students." She read aloud, smoothing over the piece of paper as she laid it on a desk, trying to get rid of the creases. Kenji leaned forward to read along, Roku simply listened.
"Dear Students, my apologies for being late. Unfortunately I do not have time to actually meet with you, simply to send this coo-us-spin-dance,"
"Correspondence," Kenji corrected patiently. Nhamo flushed, rushing through the rest.
"I will, however, meet you tomorrow morning at six o'clock, at training field two."
"What's it signed?" Roku questioned, voice muffled by the fact that he was still trying to sleep.
"There's no name." Nhamo replied, turning the paper over and shrugging, "I guess this person wants to be mysterious."
"Its cliché and boring." Kenji replied, lacing his fingers together behind his head, staring at the wall for a brief moment before rubbing the front of his headband, a habit Nhamo had noticed over their time spent in lockdown together. There was pure silence for a moment before a grumbling, rumbling sound was heard. Both boys looked at Nhamo, who flushed slightly, grinning.
"I guess we should head home, huh?"
Roku walked the streets of Konoha confidently. He was a true Shinobi now; and he was certain that he would rapidly ascend through the ranks; become a Chuunin at the first opportunity, and then a Jounin, and so on.
But what about after? He couldn't just quit once he had reach ANBU rank. And he had no wish to become Hokage.
The dark haired boy's brow furrowed. His shadow was long, trailing behind him as she shuffled onwards, hands tucked into the single large pocket at the stomach of his hooded sweatshirt, completely black except for the large Uchiha clan icon splashed across the chest.
"Where were you?" A harsh voice demanded as Kenji slipped into his home, slowly removing his sandals, avoiding his father's gaze and staring at his now wiggling toes. Finally, he shrugged, slipping off his loose fitting jacket. His skin was pallid, thin, wiry muscles stretching beneath his white undershirt.
"Meeting my sensei."
"And…?"
Kenji sighed, finally meeting Neji's gaze, "They never showed. I got the Uchiha on my team though."
"The blonde one?"
"No."
"Oh, alright then."
She sprinted, darting through the streets of Konoha like a criminal on the loose. Excitement bubbled in her stomach, she was quite eager to tell her father all about her team, about their mysterious sensei, and just about…everything.
It had been this way ever since she'd come to Konoha. A strange obsession with something she had never before had; family.
Even if it was just a dad…and a dog she couldn't be around for too long…it was enough.
More than she'd had before.
Worry was ever-present in her mind. She had done a good job of hiding it thus far; distracted by the sensei-crisis, as she was now referring to it as, but now that she was on her way home, it overtook her being.
Nhamo was so worried…worried that, when people spoke of her team, she would be the one referred to in a comedic or mocking manner. She walked among geniuses.
Just how bad had her scores been to have to have two extravagantly talented teammates to achieve balance?
It unnerved her.
"Dad!" She barged in through the front door, dropping her messenger bag to the floor, "I'm home!" She heard a sort of rustling from her right, the doorway which led was would be considered their living room. Grinning widely Nhamo turned, only to have her jaw drop.
On the couch (their couch, her mind rang) was her father…and another man.
And boy, were they intimate.
Nhamo shrieked, holding her hands over her eyes and falling to the floor as her father sat up, forcing the brown-haired man who had been sucking at his neck bone off of him. Kiba looked very much like a deer caught in the headlights. Thank goodness the other man had only been fiddling with his belt.
Poor Nhamo.
"It's not what it looks like." Kiba stated, as calmly as he could, considering his given state. Shoving the man (whose face was covered with smearing maroon paint) off of him and struggling into his shirt, quickly doing up the buttons. Kankuro ran his hand through his wildly spiked hair, raising his eyebrows at the girl sitting on the floor, holding her hands over her eyes as though they had been burned.
"I'm guessing that's her?"
"Shut up!" Kiba yelled, throwing a pillow at the Sand ninja, who laughed good naturedly as Nhamo peeked through her fingers at the two men. Kankuro was still shirtless, but they weren't kissing anymore.
"Daaaad." She stated, staring at him accusingly, eyes darting to Kankuro, and then back to Kiba, eyebrows rising.
"Oh, right, erm, Kankuro, this is my…daughter." Kiba stood, offering Nhamo a hand up, which she took, pulling herself to her feet and staring at Kankuro as though he were a particularly interesting type of squashed bug. "Nhamo this is Kankuro...my new…pack-mate."
"Why does he wear lipstick?" She asked without hesitation, narrowing her eyes, "Do you smoke?"
Kankuro rubbed the back of his head, glancing at Kiba as though for help. Kiba took the hint.
"Nhamo, why don't you go play with Akamaru?"
"I'm allergic to him dad."
"Well…then why don't you go do something that twelve year olds do."
"Alright dad. I'm going to go have sex with every boy on our street."
Kankuro stared wide-eyed at Kiba as Nhamo retreated back into the hallway. Was the man unfazed by his daughter going out to have sex? Kiba caught the look on the puppeteer's face and groaned.
"She's joking Kankuro!"