The first hour
For about five minutes. L was quiet, just staring out the window, as if he was looking at some unknown object. Near was squashed in the backseat between Mello and Matt, hyperventilating. Then, they passed a Dairy Queen.
"RATIO! RATIO! RATIO! RATIO!" L began to shake Ratio violently, which caused the car to swerve back and forth. Mello bashed his head against the window so hard it was bleeding a little. Matt finally looked up from his game long enough for him to stab the driver's seat with his stylus, therefore breaking it. Then he began crying. Near was having a panic attack and trying to rip his clothes off. "WHAT?!" Ratio screamed gathering control of the vehicle. "Let's go to Dairy Queen! They have cake!" He begged, leaning on the gear shift. The car zoomed into third gear, out of control until Ratio regained control.
He turned off the exit , his face pale. They pulled into the Dairy Queen parking lot. L began licking the window in excitement. Mello opened the door, and Near scrambled out and landed face first on the ground. Mello got out normally and pulled a brown bottle out of his pocket. "Near, do you need your meds?" He asked apathetically looking at poor Near who was curled up in fetal position muttering something about butterfingers. It took L a while to grasp the concept of a door handle. Then bolted into the restraunt.
L had pulled an ice cream cake that was designed for six people out of the freezer and was clutching it to his chest. "order what ever you want" Ratio sighed. L sat down at a table, normally, beginning to eat the cake, without hands or forks. His face was paler than ever thanks to the white frosting.
Half an hour later, they stumbled out of there almost like drunks. Near was trying to eat the toy that came with his kids meal. Another four hours and twenty five minutes.
Then they passed by a cheese and wine tasting place. Ratio figured if this was going to keep up, he'd need a bit of alcohol (and they say he's a genius. Don't drive under the influence please) . So he pulled into the parking lot.
So everyone except Near tasted wine (because he on crazy pills!). Nobody knew what a low tolerance Mello had, and after a few sips, he was shitfaced completely. "Mello, are you okay?" Matt mumbled as he held up the blonde. Mello lifted up his hand and cupped Matt's cheek. Then he brought his face closer and closer to Matt's. Then they kissed. Near had turned around just in time to see it.
Then he went psycho-bitch on Matt's ass. "YOU SLUT! WHORE!" People stared as the little blonde boy began beating the shit out of the redhead. "L! I could use some help!" Ratio called as he tried to pry Near off of Matt. L was flirting with the cheese.
"Oooooh, you're some naughty cheese, aren't you?" he cooed to a slice of brie. Then he picked up some Gouda and whispered to it. In what seemed to be a very seductive tone. "L! Stop molesting the cheese!" Ratio screamed holding Near who was kicking and screaming.
Finally, Ratio got everyone back into the car. Mello was dead drunk and singing about llamas and bananas. Matt was no longer pale, but black and blue and red and sobbing about his broken stylus again. Near was trying to subtly sharpen a butcher knife. L was still sitting normally, and it didn't look like he would be crouching for a while. He was fast asleep, his bare feet on the dashboard.
A/N: Thank you to all my reviewers! Nate River 18, I'm Canned Fruit, Rem10124, Souvenir, MattTheGamer, and deathnotefan! The wine and cheese place came almost from actual experience. Where I live, you can't drive down the interstate without one every mile. Thank you! I'll start working on the next chapter right away! Five more to go!