We have all forgotten about the Trump so here is some more poking fun at one of the richest people on Earth. Also 'The Chaser's War on Everything' is the funniest thing on Australian television EVER! As their motto says "President Bush waged a war against terror, but only the Chasers waged a war against everything!" Yea, they mainly exist to poke fun at the Americans but no one is safe from the Chaser. They poke fun at our own government!
Disclaimer: If I owned these people, this wouldn't be here and we would an awesome, rated five star show instead!
"So that's how you won over Chase…" mused Kimiko as the group piled onto the jet once again. Octavius gave a grin before shooting a glare at Trump who was still in the jet and still scared shitless. Chase climbed on board the jet with slight hesitation but sat on one of the seats.
"Yep!" smiled Jack as he followed Chase onboard. Curt came on last, sitting next to Trump so he could continue scaring him.
"I'm still trying to grasp this whole entire bond thing," grumbled Chase. "I mean when could Spicer see the dead?"
"I always could but I was freaked out by it so I never used it. Seeing my dead mother was bad enough."
Kimiko heard Octavius shuffle in his seat in the pilot's area but said nothing of it.
"So the doctor can see the dead as well?" Chase asked.
"Yes."
"And Jack can hear the tentacles?"
"That's right!"
"Doesn't it get annoying?"
"Only when they argue about what night-time show to see."
Chase sat back in his seat with a sigh. He looked at Trump who was too busy with his staring game with Curt to notice.
"I wonder if his hair is real…"
"Chase, the man has been kidnapped, tied up and kicked in the balls. Don't make him lose his dignity as well," Octavius answered before a slight pause. "Actually I always wondered what was beneath that wig. Take it off."
Chase grinned as his hand hovered above Trump's hair. Jack, Kimiko and Curt gathered round as Chase grabbed the hair and pulled it off. A chorus of gasps and yelps was heard.
"Oh my God."
"It would rewrite human evolution."
"We must never speak of this. Your secret is safe with us."
A sigh of relief from Trump as Chase put his wig back on his head. Jack walked to the pilot's area and sat on the co-pilot's seat.
"What did you see?" asked Octavius.
"Let's just say it brings whole new meaning to 'dick-head'." Jack answered mystically. Octavius looked at Jack with a raised eyebrow and said nothing.
"Jack! Octavius! Put this thing on auto-pilot and come watch this!" Kimiko yelled suddenly from the back. They rushed to Kimiko, who was playing around with the plasma TV on the jet's wall.
"Listen." Kimiko ordered as she turned up the volume. The news came on and a young woman with long brown hair came on.
"Good Afternoon America! Welcome to the New York News update. My name is Robin, giving you all the day's news. The mysterious murderer has struck again, taking down an astonishing 3 young members of the community. Last night and at an estimated time of 1:00 pm, Jodi Dammends, Asmodeus and his brother Barnabus Maldini were found dead, the former found in her family's apartment, the latter in the cafeteria of the S.H.I.E.L.D defence force head quarters. Alexandra Jacqueline Reon was also in the scene of the cafeteria crime and is also presumed dead but her body is yet to be found. The murderer is thought to be the same that killed Mr Tohomiko, on April the 17th as red hair and security cameras were provided as evidence to prove so. He is described as an albino with red hair, thin and wears a black trench coat. If someone who looks like this approaches you, you are advised to stay away and run as fast as your little legs can take you. Police also suspect the infamous villain 'Doc Ock' to be part of these murders as the murderer has been sited with this villain. Another update in half an hour after 'The Chaser's War on Everything'."
"And kids, that is how Robin got to be part of the mystery…"
"Hey! Who are you and what are you doing in my story?"
"I'm Ted and I'm telling the story of how Auntie Robin got to broadcast the top story of the year! Who are you? You are the one that is butting in on MY story!"
"DUDE! This is 'New York Mayhem'! Not 'How I Met Your Mother', that is on channel 10!"
"…This is also the time when we got confused and I started narrating for the wrong show."
"Thank you. Now let me get on with MY story."
Kimiko turned the TV off and looked at Octavius and Jack. Trump looked at them as well and fainted, thinking that the murderers were on his jet.
"This makes things more difficult," sighed Chase, breaking the silence. "Now people will be on the lookout for us. We will never find them."
"And to make it even more difficult, Alexandra is dead! 15000 years of darkness is coming our way…" Jack agreed. Octavius leaned against the jet's walls, silent in thinking. Suddenly Kimiko gave a gasp and stood up in triumph.
"I know who the impostor is!" she cried. The boys looked at her with surprise and gathered around her.
"It looks like Jack right?" she continued and looked at Jack who stared back in deep thought.
"My robot!" he gasped.
"It has to be either the Chameleon-Bot or that clone of yours!" Kimiko said, continuing with the train of thought. Two cheers of success came from the two teenagers and gave a high five, leaving the two adults and the lizard to stare at them with worry. Chase went as far as giving them the crazy sign.
"What the hell are you two talking about?" asked Octavius after the teenagers calm down.
"When I was still hunting the shen gun wu, I had created two robots…"
"You can build robots?" interrupted Octavius.
"I know, quite impossible for his little brain but there you go," sighed Chase.
"Anyway, I had created two robots." Jack said gritting his teeth. "One was called the Chameleon-Bot and could shape-change into anything. The other was a clone of me and I called it Robo-Jack…"
"Stronger, smarter and had cooler catchphrases than the original." Kimiko interrupted, earning a glare from Jack.
"So it has to be one of those two. Problem is they were both destroyed in the fire at my house, which a certain Dragon of Fire caused."
"Look, we said we were sorry!" retorted Kimiko.
What a bunch of misfits we are… grumbled G.C.
Be positive for once in your life snapped Flo, actually closing the metallic jaws inches away from its sibling.
"Well someone could have gone to the house and stolen the remains of the robots. And this is where the esteemed Prince of Darkness will help us!" smiled Octavius, putting a hand on Chase's shoulder.
"Get your hand of me," Chase growled making Octavius remove his hand as instructed. "Which one do you want me to find?"
"Let's try Chameleon-Bot first."
Chase gave a nod and closed his eyes. The people around him stared at him as his eyebrows furrowed with concentration. A few seconds went by. Curt cocked his head and waved a clawed hand in front of Chase's face but the Prince didn't notice.
"Maybe he fell asleep." suggested Octavius. Chase's eyes sprung open and brought a punch into Octavius's stomach, making both the doctor and Jack winded.
"I AM TRYING TO CONCENTRATE!!!!" roared Chase in reply. He gave a sigh and shook his head. "You are lucky. I was able to find the location of the Chameleon-Bot and before you ask I found the location of the clone."
"Isn't that convenient?" Jack muttered as he tried to get his breath back.
"Well, I want to get away from you weirdos as quickly as possible." Chase snapped back.
"Then get on with it so you can get away!" Kimiko snapped in return. Chase gave a grumble and formulated a map of the world from thin air. He unravelled it and pointed to China.
"The Chameleon-Bot is still situated in China. The clone however is in New York. That has to be the one that is committing all the murders."
"Can you pinpoint where in New York?" asked Octavius.
"I know where he is but I can't tell you which street he is on or the house he is located in. I have to tell you all that when we get there."
Octavius gave a nod and went back to the pilot's cabin. Jack followed him as well. As they sat in silence, the tentacles voiced their opinions.
I still don't get it… sighed Bimbo, the bottom right tentacle, as it lazily swayed through the air, examining the different lights and switches, making sure they were doing the right job.
I must agree with my sibling. I can see no reason why someone would want to commit these murders disguised as Jack G.C. agreed.
Revenge perhaps? Flo suggested
Please, who could hate me this much? I'm too loved!
You'd like to think…
But if you think about it, why would the clone kill? Jack must have done something in the past Bubbles said, contributing to the mind conversation. Jack sat back in the chair and thought for a while before shaking his head.
The only thing that maybe could have angered it is the deactivation. I haven't done anything else to it after that.
Octavius was about to say something else but a voice came on saying they were ready to land on the Trump Tower. He leaned back into the chair, barely registering the sentence that Jack just said; pointing out he had just flown past the tower. Outside he noticed it the sun set over the horizon but he was more focused on his own thoughts than to notice such details. Not even when Jack stared waving his hands in front of him.
OTTO OCTAVIUS!!!
Octavius jumped up from his seat in fright. He took deep and heavy breaths before turning to Jack in anger. Jack flinched as his red eyes made contact with the doctor's now amber eyes.
"Sorry… you just looked blankly at things and I was just telling you to concentrate on landing the jet…" Jack said, with a slight stutter as Octavius loomed over him even if he was sitting down on the pilot's seat. Octavius said nothing and gave a sigh of annoyance whilst rubbing his temples. Jack winced as he felt the headache Octavius was trying to calm.
"I know what I'm doing. No need to worry." Octavius answered.
"You telling me this after you just passed the very tower we were supposed to land on?"
"I wasn't in a good position to land."
"Uncle, I have built and piloted a jet before. That was a good position, you just nodded off."
"For the last time I'm not your UNCLE! And congratulations! Your mind can actually do other stuff other than being an annoying little freak!" Octavius hissed suddenly. The last comment he made took Jack by surprise.
"I am so sorry Uncle. But you seem to be forgetting that I didn't lose a loved one and attached metallic tentacles to my back during my projects!" Jack snapped back. Octavius stared back, his mouth one straight and tight line. He looked in front of him ignoring Jack.
"Can you be quiet for the rest of the trip? I don't want to hear a word from you until we resolve this mess." Octavius muttered. Jack was about to argue back when Octavius gave him another stare from behind his sunglasses. Jack clenched his teeth before getting up from his seat, storming out of the cabin in the process. Flo, Bubbles and Bimbo gave tiny squeaks of distress as Jack left before they furiously turned to their master.
Why did you do that to Jackie? Bimbo hissed. G.C distanced itself from the tentacles and their creator, deciding to be a spectator instead. Octavius didn't answer the question, staring determinedly at the approaching tower. Several more hisses from the tentacles for not answering his question but he ignored them again. Suddenly Flo struck his hand, leaving a small scratch. In the back they heard Jack give a little yelp but for now they didn't care about him.
Don't ignore us!
We want answers!
Octavius clutched his injured hand, more out of anger than pain.
He is my fucking brother's son…
The all tentacles, even G.C. cocked their heads in curiosity. Flo opened its jaws, showing just a bit of its red eye.
So?
Octavius looked up at Flo. The upper left tentacle had everyone's attention and it was managing to use it appropriately… for now.
Every time I see him, I'm reminded of Henry. I'm reminded of Kaia, of Rosie, of Clarice and of that damn…cliff.
Ah, you remembered Clarice I see scoffed Flo. A blush rose to the doctor's face as the memory of that intimate kiss reared its head.
I'm surprised he remembers that whole incident sneered Bimbo, for once appearing intelligent. Octavius groaned. Why did they have to act like humans?
We can hear you Bubbles reminded him. Another groan from their Father.
So Jack reminds you of all the things you and Henry did to each other?
NO! Just every time I see my nephew I'm reminded of my connection to the bastard!
Same thing!
He doesn't act like his father.
Octavius looked at G.C. with slight surprise. He looked at the controls of the jet again, taking hold of them and landed on the tower, finally arriving at their destination. The jet landed with a slight jolt but was otherwise fine. The doctor gave another sigh and looked at his creations again.
Remember what we told you. You weren't a brother to Henry; you could at least feel some sort of compassion for Jack.
Octavius gave a nod and got up. As he exited the cabin, he found that he was the last one to leave the plane. He looked at Chase and Curt who were carrying a still unconscious Trump over to some nearby crates were Kimiko was writing what looked like an apologetic note. He looked for Jack and found him near the hanger's door. The albino's eyes were set on the others rather than acknowledge the doctor. Octavius decided to talk to Jack later, just so he could let the teen cool off some of that anger.
"Okay! With that done, let's find Robo-Jack!"
Octavius looked at Chase as the Prince produced the map again. Kimiko and Curt peered over his shoulder as Chase scanned the map.
"This is fortunate. It seems the robot is over in the next tower. All we have to do is enter it!" smiled Chase as he made the map disappear before everyone's eyes. Jack was heard to give a grunt before walking over to the edge of the hanger where another tower could be seen about 20 metres away. It was slightly shorter than the Trump Tower and had a large W on one of its faces.
"How do we get over there?" Kimiko asked. Chase looked at her with disbelief.
"We jump of course!" Chase answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Curt jumped up and down, fully backing Chase as Kimiko stared at him.
"We can't jump to the other tower! It is over 30 metres away!"
"Actually it is only 18 metres. Come on, you were trained as a monk! You should be able to jump the distance!"
"NOT AN 18 METRE JUMP!!!!" Kimiko yelled. Octavius gave a sigh.
"How about you hitch a ride on someone else?" he suggested. Kimiko thought for a moment and gave a nod. She took a look at the candidates to take her over.
"Chase no, Octavius no, Curt no… Jack how are you getting to the tower?" Jack showed her his taser and Mantis Flip coin he had attached to his belt.
"I'm going to use to Mantis Flip Coin to jump and if I don't make it I'll use my gun to anchor me there." he explained.
"I'm going with him. He has a back up plan." Kimiko decided.
"You call that a back-up plan?" chuckled Chase.
"At least he has one!"
Curt barked happily and took a running start before leaping of the building. He soared through the air but even all the gracefulness got him only centimetres away from the tower. Everyone held their breath as Curt attached himself to the building walls in an attempt to stop from falling to his doom. He scrambled up the walls and after a few agonizing seconds, managed to get on the roof. Curt looked at the others happily with his tail wagging as if nothing dramatic had ever happened. Jack went next (getting quite a surprise as Kimiko requested a piggy back from him), managing to use the Mantis Flip Coin to get all the way to the other side without using the back up plan. Which left Chase and Octavius.
"My turn." announced Chase and just as he was about to take a run up when Octavius grabbed him around the waist using two tentacles and flung him over to the other tower. Chase landed with a thud on his face, in the middle of Curt and Jack. Octavius jumped and with the help of his tentacles reached the other side without breaking a sweat. Chase got up with a grunt before delivering another punch to Octavius's stomach.
"Next time, ASK for permission to help." grumbled Chase. Octavius was about to say something snappy in return but suddenly he heard voices coming from a nearby air vent.
"I can't believe de boss wanted a corpse!"
"Look, what da boss says is da law! We mustn't complain or else it's to da chimera's cage!"
The group peered from behind another vent as two men, both old walked out of the air vent. Their white shirts were covered with blood as if they had carried a wounded person.
"Well it don't matter! De boss got what he wanted so everyone's happy. Come I'll buy ya a cuppa coffee!"
The men walked off into the staircase on the edge of the building, talking loudly about the kind of coffee they liked. The group remained quiet for a while before coming out of hiding.
"Let's go." Jack said simply as he opened the air vent with caution before entering. The others followed and nearly tripped down the stairs that were placed at their feet but because of the absence of light couldn't be seen. So after a few minutes when everyone was able to untangle themselves from the pile at the bottom of those stairs, they continued on with their journey, which was again stopped short when they came to two tunnels.
"We split up and search for clues?"
"Another reference to Scooby-Doo and I swear I will kill you all."
"So do we split up? We will cover this faster." Kimiko suggested.
"Fine. I'm going with the lizard and the doctor." grumbled Chase.
"No, I'm going to go with Jack. The lizards will go with Kimiko." Octavius said. Before Chase could say anything to that, Octavius grabbed Jack by the arm and hauled him to the right tunnel.
"Come on Chase." sighed Kimiko as started walking to the left tunnel, following an excited Curt. Chase shook his head and obediently followed.
Down the other tunnel, Jack walked forward avoiding Octavius at all costs. The doctor was worried and tried to approach Jack once again but ended up being shrugged off.
"Look I'm sorry," Octavius sighed. No response from Jack. "You can talk again."
Jack still didn't say anything and move on forward. Octavius frowned with annoyance. Either this kid was an obedient idiot or a spiteful smart ass.
"Jack…" Octavius tried again but gave up once again. They continued walking in silence until they reached a dark area of the tunnel. It was impossible to see even if the tentacles used their bright, red lights as torches. Octavius swore he heard another pair of footsteps but he thought it as part of his paranoia that rose up every now and again. But he then heard metallic clicks like small gears were turning around and around. He heard a scream from Jack and maniacal giggling before silence.
"JACK!" yelled Octavius. The tentacles chirped and clicked as he ran through the tunnel. He felt a cold hand being placed on his spine, right on the top of the metallic spine that was fused to his back and to his tentacles. He screamed with pain and agony as red lightning flashed behind him, causing the wires that connected the tentacles to his back short-circuited. The tentacles screeched and gave a spasm as the doctor felt darkness overcome him.
In the meantime, Chase, Kimiko and Curt had exited their tunnel only to find they had done a complete circle and had ended up in the exact place they had started. Just in time to hear the screams.
And kids that is the story…
"GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!"
DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! What happens next? I know the answer and you don't…