The next morning, Jen got up unusually early. She had told her driver he was supposed to pick her up at 05.30, she had a lot of things to do at the office. But that was not the main reason why she had requested him to come so early. She knew Gibbs would wonder, not where she was, he would understand she was at the office, but he would wonder why she had gotten in so early and why she had not told him. At least that was what she wanted him to do. It was still pretty dark outside, but she dressed herself in an appropriate work outfit and fixed her hair and make-up before sneaking down the stairs to the kitchen. She didn't want to turn on the cofffee machine in case she would wake him up, so she would just have to wait with the coffee until she got to work. She checked her watch and realized it was almost time to go. Jenny hurried into her study to get her briefcase and her cell phone before putting on her coat and leaving the house, quietly closing the door behind her.
It was about noon, and Jenny was getting rather frustrated where she sat behind her desk in her office. She hadn't heard from her husband in the entire afternoon, and she started to believe he hadn't cared when he had found her bed empty this morning, when a knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts. She looked up, and saw Gibbs walking up to her desk.
"I have an incident report for you" he told her and put down a file in front of her. She briefly met his gaze before glancing down at the report.
"Thank you, I'll read it through later" she replied and leaned back in her chair and eyed him. Gibbs raised his eyebrows and met her gaze.
"What?" he asked and Jen couldn't hold back a sigh.
"Was that all you wanted to tell me?" she wondered, trying to keep her tone casual.
"Well, is there something you want me to say? Do you want me to wonder why you weren't home this morning?" he had seen right through her, and she realized it was no point in denying what she had tried to do.
"Yes, that's exactly what I want you to do" she chose to answer, and he smiled to himself.
"Ok, Jen. Why weren't you home this morning?" he asked, but his tone was slightly sarcastic, and Jen did not like it.
"Ok, this is ridiculus. This is not how it's supposed to be. Do you still not understand?"
"Understand what?"
"Never mind. I'll go through your report now" she said, not in the mood for this conversation just yet. Jenny put her glasses on and reached out for the file.
"No Jen. What don't I understand?" he tried again, refusing to leave her office until he found out what she was talking about.
"Not now. I have work to do, so can't we at least have this conversation at home, tonight?" she said with a sigh, and after giving him a look, she could tell she was getting on his nerves.
"So another talk? How many more of these talks are we gonna have before we conatct any lawyers?" he was trying to suppress the anger he felt, but didn't succeed very well in hiding it from her.
"We are gonna talk until we figure this situation out, Jethro" she said sternly, and for a brief second he actually admired her stubborness, even though it annoyed him beyond belief.
"Please, let's talk tonight. And if it doesn't work, I promise you we'll contact our divorce atterneys first thing tomorrow morning. I'm just asking you to give our marriage this last chance. Please Jethro" Jenny begged and when their eyes met, he saw how sincere she was, and how much she wanted them to do this.
"Fine, one talk" he agreed, and Jen gave him a tired smile.
"Thank you. Now if you don't mind, I really have to get back to work" she told him and he nodded.
"Yeah, me too. Give me a call when you're ready to go, will you?" he said as he walked over to the door. There he stopped and turned to look at her while waiting for her to answer him.
"Of course" she promised and he left her office without another word. What little hope that existed inside of her lit up again. Now she just needed to really think over how she was gonna play this game, everything depended on whether she could come up with the right words, something that she knew would get to him.
As Gibbs hurried down the stairs, he felt how messed up this situation was. His mind was just a blur, and the thoughts that was swirling around inside his head didn't make any sense to him at all. He thought he had been so sure a dicorce was just what they needed, but this morning, when he had gone in to make sure Jenny was awake, he had just felt so incredibly lonely when he realized she must have gone in to work earlier than usual. His own mixed feelings combined with her eager to keep them together made him even more confused about the situation. But regardless of what she had told him, he just knew they would not be happy together any more.
It was later in the afternoon, and Jenny had decided it was time to go home. Which meant she needed to call Gibbs and tell him she was ready to leave.
"Jethro, it's Jenny" she said into the phone when she heard him picking up "Are you ready to go home?"
"I'm sorry Jen" came his voice back, and she bit her lip while waiting for an explanation "Something's come up, a thing with the case that I need to take care of now"
Jenny closed her eyes and for the hundreth time wondered how this could be happening to them. But if it was about a case, then she understood it was important. "For how much longer do you think you'll be gone?" she asked in a low voice.
"I don't know. A couple of hours maybe. But you go home, and I'll met you there later" he replied and heard her trying to suppress a sigh. He chose not to comment on that.
"Fine, then I'll leave now and I guess I'll see you later" she struggled to keep her disappointment from her voice, but she had a feeling she was failing "Bye Jethro" she quickly finished the conversation and hung up before he had a chance to respond.
Three hours later, Gibbs pulled up his car on the drive way outside his and Jen's house. He sighed as he turned off the engine and stared up at the house. The windows were dark, except for the living room window, where he saw a faint light shine through the sheer curtains. He had been later than he had thought he would be, and he knew she would be annoyed with him. He got himself out of the car and hurried up up to the front door.
"Jen?" he called out as he shut the door behind him and took off his coat. No response. Gibbs sighed and walked toward the living where he had seen the light. On his way, he passed through the kitchen, and notcied a plate on the table and food in the casserols on the counter, probably ice-cold by now.
"Jenny?" he tried again as he reached the doorway to the living room. He found his wife sitting on the couch in the half-dark room, two glasses and a bottle of Bourbon standing on the table.
"I'm in here" she finally replied, avoiding to look at him.
"Yeah, I can see that" he stated and kept trying to meet her gaze.
"I hope you have eaten, because the dinner I made for you must be cold by now" she said in a low voice as she, still without looking at him, reached out and picked up her glass from the table.
"I've eaten" he confirmed "DiNozzo ordered chinese"
Jen shrugged and took a sip of her drink, and Gibbs could tell she was hurt.
"I didn't think I'd be so late" he apologised, but she didn't reply. He stood still in the doorway, waiting for her to ask him to come sit down.
"You could have called" Jenny finally said after a long silence.
"What for?" he wondered, because as far as he knew, he had already told her why he would be late.
"Because you knew how lonely I was. Isn't that why you always used to call me before when you were working late? You even called me every night when I was working in Europe just to make sure I wasn't feeling lonely. Whatever happened to that? When did you stop caring whether I was lonely or not?" her voice was soft, she wasn't showing any anger, yet, just hurt.
"I think you know damn well I never wanted you to be lonely, Jen" he shot back, but he was taken aback by her words, because he knew how true they were. She gave up a dry laugh.
"Right, then I guess you have no idea how lonely I have felt during these past three months, especially during the nights. But you didn't answer my question" Jen raised her head and daringly met his gaze, waiting for his answer. Gibbs met her eyes while trying to figure out where everything had gone wrong.
"I think you know I never stopped caring" he chose to answer, but his words made her shake her head.
"I don't know about that" she said and took her eyes off him as she put her glass back down onto the table and refilled it and at the same time poured some into the other glass. She pushed it across the table toward him. "Here"
Gibbs glanced at her before stepping up and picking up his glass "Thank you" he said quietly and took a sip from it. He sat down on the couch next to her, keeping his eyes on his drink as he spoke.
"Just so you know, I felt kind of lonely this morning when I noticed you were gone" he confessed to her, but she didn't respond.
"We shouldn't be this way" she said instead "This is not us. We are not the kind of couple that are having trouble communicating, we've never been. Come on Jethro, can you honestly tell me that you think a divorce is the right decision?" Jen asked and turned to face him. He was silent for about a minute, then he opened his mouth to speak.
"Yeah, Jen, I do" Gibbs answered, and when he glance at her, he saw a shocked and hurtful expression on her face. "I'm sorry Jen" he added, but she slowly rose from the couch and walked over to the window. She pulled the curtain aside and looked out into the dark October evening. She sadly shook her head as she felt her heart break as his words kept repeating themselves inside her head.
"But I don't. I won't do this Jethro" her voice was shaking violently as she spoke and she heard him sigh behind her.
"But we don't work together anymore" he said for what felt like the hundreth time.
"That is not our problem. Our problem is that we have let the fights we are having at work as Director and agent affect our personal life. I know that before we got married you told me you were afraid about mixing your personal and professional lives, but it was a risk we decided to take, because we knew it was worth trying" Jen turned away from the window to face him as she continued "Maybe what we need to do is to separate our personal and professional lives, figure out a way to leave our fights at the office, or learn how to not fight at all" she suggested and waited for him to respond. When he didn't say anything, just glanced at her before taking another sip from the Bourbon, she started to become frustrated with his behaviour. Jenny went back to him but instead of joining him on the couch, she sat down on the low table opposite him, she placed her hands on his knees as she leaned forward , forcing him to look up at her.
"I know you better you probably want me to know you" she stated, and he had to agree with that, which also made him a little curious to what she had come up with now that she was gonna use against him.
"Remember when you told me about the meaning of Semper Fi? You explained to me it meant 'always faithful', and you also explained the importancy of being faithful. On our wedding day you promised me you would always be faithful to me, you said that I was very special to you and that you would be a fool if you let me go without a fight. I have to say I agree with you; you are a fool if you are giving up on us, especially this easily. What happened to the fighting you were talking about?" when she silenced he had taken her eyes off her. He was surprised by how well she remembered his vows, he remembered telling her about being always faithful, but not that he had said he wouldn't let her go without fighting.
"I didn't remember that" he confessed and Jen straightened up her back and stared at him in disbelief.
"You don't remember you wedding vows?" she asked hurtful and absent-mindedly caressed her wedding ring with her left thumb.
"Not the entire thing" he admitted and Jen sighed heavily. She reached out and grabbed her glass. She thought for a little while before she broke the silence.
"I can resign from my Director's position" Jenny suddenly said and Gibbs' head shot up and he caught her eye, looking shocked "If it means saving our marriage, I would gladly resign"
"You can't resign! I know how you love being Director, I can't have you giving up everything you have fought so hard for just because of me. I can't allow you to do that" Gibbs burst out
"Well, not as much as I love you. You have always meant so much more to me than my job ever has, and you always will. And if me being Director is causing these fights between us..." she left the end of the sentence unspoken, but he understood what she meant.
Gibbs leaned back againt the couch and swirled his drink around in the glass while trying to figure out what to say.
Jen put down her drink and once again leaned forward and placed her hands on his thighs.
"So, what do we do?" she wondered and he looked up at her.
"I don't know, Jen" he answered and took a sip from his glass.
Jenny pressed her hands hard onto his thighs as she rose to her feet. Without saying a word she started to walk toward the doorway, but Gibbs' voice calling her name forced her to turn around.
"What?" she said angrily and glared at him.
"Where are you going?"
"So now you care, how sweet of you" she replied coolly, and Gibbs sighed.
"I understand if you're upset..." he started but never got the chance to finish his sentence.
"You're damn right I'm upset, Jethro!" she practically shouted before she hurried out through the kitchen.
"Jen!" he called after her and threw himself up from the couch and took off after her "Jen!"
He caught up with her in the foyer where he found her busy putting on her jacket.
"Jen, come on!" he begged her, but she just gave him an annoyed look.
"I can't do this anymore Jethro! I'm tired of being the only one who wants this marriage to work. I'm tired of you and your behaviour! And I'm definitely tired of missing you! I just want the old Jethro back. The Jethro I fell in love with, the Jethro I married. But you are not him, because I know he would never give up on us" Jen said softly and tucked her hair behind her ear. She glanced at him and then she walked to the front door.
"Where are you going?" he called after her, but she just slammed the door in his face.
"God" he sighed and rubbed his eyebrows with his left hand. He decided to let her take her time, she would come back eventually. But he still felt concern tugging at his heart. He had no idea where she might go, or what she might do. He walked back into the living room and sat down heavily on the couch, refilling his glass with Bourbon.
Meanwhile, Jen entered a bar a few miles away. She made her way through the crowd and finally reached the bar. It was noisy and there were a lot of people there, but she found an empty chair and managed to get the bartender's attention.
"Martini please" she ordered
"Coming right up" he answered and while she waited for her drink, she felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket. She picked it up and saw her husband's name on the caller id. She looked at it for a second before disconnecting the call.
How many drinks will Jen have that night? How does Gibbs react when she doesn't take any of her calls?
Please review and I hope you liked the chapter. I will update as soon as I can. Thanks for reading
Emma