Signs of Permanence CHAPTER 7
'' My! Curious, aren't you? '' She humored him, mustering a smug smirk, he leaned his chin on the back of his hand, cracking a malicious half-smile:
'' Why are you avoiding answering my question? ''
Nikita struggled to suppress the surge of shame that his interrogation caused, trying not to remember feeling it; she looked at him with a renewed spirit of challenge.
She pushed her upper body toward him, her elbows resting on her bended knees, feeling once again cocky to the point of recklessness; spoke to him with a fake conspiratorial accent:
''It appears that Birky and I were luckier than you, tonight ''
"Nikita? Birky?. Birkoff !!??" * Michael absorbed her admission losing any trace of bemused malice and replacing that look with one of worried concentration. It was the stony expression he assumed often when he was focusing on a very hard case, and it would scare anyone who didn't know him as well as she did.
'' What do you mean by you and Birky?"
He inquired with the quietly imperious tone he used during the interrogation of a witness, and the coolness of his gaze almost iced the laughter boiling up in her throat. But not quite. It was impossible for her to tear her eyes away from his; sometimes she felt magnetism so primal when he looked her straight in her eyes that she often wondered if he didn't feel it to.
'' Gee, relax. It's not what you're thinking! ''
Nikita chuckled, a sound that was for Michael as familiar and comforting as much as it was irritating him at the moment, she continued her explanation, careful to maintain her deceivingly light tone:
'' I asked Birkoff- she erupted in giggles again -No, actually I kind of forced him, to escort me to Volare's to see how Walter and his family were doing, but they weren't there. So I hooked him up with a nice girl, and found some company for myself. ''
She looked at Michael only to find his face completely devoid of any emotional response, except for maybe a faint curiosity, she felt a strong impulse to push his limits, to find out how much interest she could squeeze out of him, despite her awareness that he didn't care for her in any romantic way.
It was because of this impulse she went on, for once uncaring that her behavior might disappoint him or make him think less of her, but she was eager to wipe that indifferent look off his face.
'' To tell you the truth, I was probably pretty close to getting lucky, but my boy suddenly remembered he had a wife waiting for him somewhere in Buffalo. ''
Nikita and Michael were very close to each other, and although she was on the floor and he was on the couch, they were able to see each the other's reactions better than both would have liked. Neither one able to decipher what the other was thinking.
Michael's distant look forced Nikita to break the silence that threatened to fall between them, Nikita knowing only too well how long he was able to stay silent and how little she would be able to bear if he continued to just stare at her blankly without uttering another word.
'' Don't know why I let him come on to me. I,. he didn't have ring on his finger, how was I supposed to know? It's not like I was dressed like tramp or even wanted him all over me. ''
Nikita trailed off, her voice breaking, while trying to contain the unforeseen quivering of her little determined chin as she subconsciously worried her bottom lip with her teeth. She didn't notice that her eyes were glossy, or that her hands were closed in tight fists.
It wasn't lost on her, the sudden shift in his expression, her listener's beautiful foam sea green eyes changing from indifferent to concern.
'' He didn't hurt you, did he? ''
Michael asked, reaching out to grab a golden strand that fallen over her face, tenderly brushing it behind her earlobe.
''No. I'm all right ''
His fingers lingered longer than necessary in her hair, offering a caress that made her tremble inside.
She liked that he felt so protective of her. It was surprising how openly caring he could be sometimes and so tactless at others.
'' He made you drink too much? I could." His tone became angry again.
'' He didn't make me do anything that I wasn't more than willing to do, Michael. Take it easy. ''
She angrily interrupted his outraged rant before he could continue.
Nikita flinched away from his touch, unnerved at his fierce look and then thrilled by the contained rage in his voice.
'' This isn't like you ''
The notion of her being capable of going out and getting drunk and then giving her body to some unknown idiot disturbed him so much that he didn't want to believe it. He found himself jealous that some strange man could touch her in ways he couldn't allow himself to.
Her voice interrupted his silent musing.
'' No, you are right, it isn't me, sleeping around is more your style. But hey, who knows, maybe you are rubbing off on me ''
It was a low blow saying such ugly things to him, she was aware of it, but anger was better than pain any day of the week. Moreover, if the only way to get to him was arguing, she was quite ready to make the sacrifice.
Seeing the anger reflected on his handsome features made her feel alive.
'' Now shut up Nikita, that was uncalled for! ''
'' Why, Michael you never shut up. I'm not some quivering virgin! Stop treating me like one! ''
'' I was only worrying about you, damnitt ! ''
Nikita winced visibly at this one. Michael didn't swear. Ever.
That one word hit her like slap in the face.
'' I don't need or want your worry. What I want is some respect! ''
She muttered angrily.
'' Jesus, now what are you blabbering about? I do respect you! ''
'' No, you don't! ''
They were hissing in the each other's face now, nose to nose. Nikita holding on to her rage in an attempt to resist the sudden awareness of his breath on her lips. As long as she continued to she vent at him, she would feel nothing but fury flowing through her veins.
'' If you had an ounce of respect for me, you wouldn't push aside my opinions, or dismiss my theories simply because they rock your little prearranged universe! And you sure as hell wouldn't cancel our dinner plans because you want chase after some air-headed hoochie who calls you at the last minute!
I'm sick and tired of being your .. Your laughable clown! ''
His dark brows knitted in a straight line as Michael fully absorbed her anger; he had fights with her before, and she gave him more explosive vocalizations of her opinionated self, but what upset him was realizing that Nikita seriously believed every word she was saying.
It was so absurd that he couldn't even fathom a decent reply to her nonsense. She was the only one he trusted and it seemed impossible that she didn't know this simple fact.
'' I don't laugh at you. Ever ''
He hoped he could calm her down. She was so tipsy. Michael made a mental note of not taking her out for drinks in the future.
''You are such a liar Michael. Half of the things I believe in is junk to you ''
She bounced back. Her face was flushed and her eyes were now lucid. They reminded him of two lapis lazuli: it was the same beautiful shade of blue.
Then it was as if all the energy flew out of her body, leaving her completely spent. A thousand little fires exploded inside her head, weakening her further.
Michael seemed to notice the change while he watched her uncrossing her legs and sitting on her knees, avoiding his gaze.
'' I'm sorry for canceling dinner, ' Kita''
He couldn't really tell her anything else. Sex had looked like a good way to kill the stress and he jumped at the chance of an easy lay. That was it. He had not meant hurt her feelings.
Nikita hated his ''I'm sorry-routine '' more than anything in this world.
But he sounded so apologetic that she couldn't help but look up at him, although she had a feeling that wasn't such a good idea.
Her tummy flip-flopped when she met his vivid eyes.
She was too close to him, and she forgot how to breath, so close that she could count the pores in his skin.
And he was smiling at her, that little, sexy as hell shy half-smile of his. That devastating half-smile.
Nikita could distinctly smell his shaving cream and the light musk made her dizzy, sending a visceral jolt of pure sensation through her body, setting off all kinds of alarms.
She tore her gaze away from his petal soft, sensuously molded mouth with a growing sense of frustration and longing.
It was unfair of him to be so utterly ravishing.
So powerfully masculine.
How could she stay angry with him, when all her stupid, treacherous body desired was to bury herself in his arms and enjoy the privilege to simply touch and taste that temptingly smooth skin?
Michael was staring her and she felt it.
Of course, she should have answered him. Maybe accept his apology.
Or even refuse it.
Being the object of his concentration caused her to shiver.
'' Ni-ki-ta ? What is wrong? ''
He was still gentle with her, touching her shoulder to lightly shake her. She both hated and loved the way he pronounced her name, unlike any other man ever did. It was like a lover's caress. But they weren't lovers and every time he said her name it was a painful reminder of what she couldn't have but desperately desired.
Damn him for being so gorgeous. If everything about him weren't so sensuously godlike, she would be at least capable of looking at him without having X -rated thoughts.
'' Sometimes, Michael, I really hate you ''
Nikita ranted in an exasperated sigh, then she leaned in and kissed him.
'' My! Curious, aren't you? '' She humored him, mustering a smug smirk, he leaned his chin on the back of his hand, cracking a malicious half-smile:
'' Why are you avoiding answering my question? ''
Nikita struggled to suppress the surge of shame that his interrogation caused, trying not to remember feeling it; she looked at him with a renewed spirit of challenge.
She pushed her upper body toward him, her elbows resting on her bended knees, feeling once again cocky to the point of recklessness; spoke to him with a fake conspiratorial accent:
''It appears that Birky and I were luckier than you, tonight ''
"Nikita? Birky?. Birkoff !!??" * Michael absorbed her admission losing any trace of bemused malice and replacing that look with one of worried concentration. It was the stony expression he assumed often when he was focusing on a very hard case, and it would scare anyone who didn't know him as well as she did.
'' What do you mean by you and Birky?"
He inquired with the quietly imperious tone he used during the interrogation of a witness, and the coolness of his gaze almost iced the laughter boiling up in her throat. But not quite. It was impossible for her to tear her eyes away from his; sometimes she felt magnetism so primal when he looked her straight in her eyes that she often wondered if he didn't feel it to.
'' Gee, relax. It's not what you're thinking! ''
Nikita chuckled, a sound that was for Michael as familiar and comforting as much as it was irritating him at the moment, she continued her explanation, careful to maintain her deceivingly light tone:
'' I asked Birkoff- she erupted in giggles again -No, actually I kind of forced him, to escort me to Volare's to see how Walter and his family were doing, but they weren't there. So I hooked him up with a nice girl, and found some company for myself. ''
She looked at Michael only to find his face completely devoid of any emotional response, except for maybe a faint curiosity, she felt a strong impulse to push his limits, to find out how much interest she could squeeze out of him, despite her awareness that he didn't care for her in any romantic way.
It was because of this impulse she went on, for once uncaring that her behavior might disappoint him or make him think less of her, but she was eager to wipe that indifferent look off his face.
'' To tell you the truth, I was probably pretty close to getting lucky, but my boy suddenly remembered he had a wife waiting for him somewhere in Buffalo. ''
Nikita and Michael were very close to each other, and although she was on the floor and he was on the couch, they were able to see each the other's reactions better than both would have liked. Neither one able to decipher what the other was thinking.
Michael's distant look forced Nikita to break the silence that threatened to fall between them, Nikita knowing only too well how long he was able to stay silent and how little she would be able to bear if he continued to just stare at her blankly without uttering another word.
'' Don't know why I let him come on to me. I,. he didn't have ring on his finger, how was I supposed to know? It's not like I was dressed like tramp or even wanted him all over me. ''
Nikita trailed off, her voice breaking, while trying to contain the unforeseen quivering of her little determined chin as she subconsciously worried her bottom lip with her teeth. She didn't notice that her eyes were glossy, or that her hands were closed in tight fists.
It wasn't lost on her, the sudden shift in his expression, her listener's beautiful foam sea green eyes changing from indifferent to concern.
'' He didn't hurt you, did he? ''
Michael asked, reaching out to grab a golden strand that fallen over her face, tenderly brushing it behind her earlobe.
''No. I'm all right ''
His fingers lingered longer than necessary in her hair, offering a caress that made her tremble inside.
She liked that he felt so protective of her. It was surprising how openly caring he could be sometimes and so tactless at others.
'' He made you drink too much? I could." His tone became angry again.
'' He didn't make me do anything that I wasn't more than willing to do, Michael. Take it easy. ''
She angrily interrupted his outraged rant before he could continue.
Nikita flinched away from his touch, unnerved at his fierce look and then thrilled by the contained rage in his voice.
'' This isn't like you ''
The notion of her being capable of going out and getting drunk and then giving her body to some unknown idiot disturbed him so much that he didn't want to believe it. He found himself jealous that some strange man could touch her in ways he couldn't allow himself to.
Her voice interrupted his silent musing.
'' No, you are right, it isn't me, sleeping around is more your style. But hey, who knows, maybe you are rubbing off on me ''
It was a low blow saying such ugly things to him, she was aware of it, but anger was better than pain any day of the week. Moreover, if the only way to get to him was arguing, she was quite ready to make the sacrifice.
Seeing the anger reflected on his handsome features made her feel alive.
'' Now shut up Nikita, that was uncalled for! ''
'' Why, Michael you never shut up. I'm not some quivering virgin! Stop treating me like one! ''
'' I was only worrying about you, damnitt ! ''
Nikita winced visibly at this one. Michael didn't swear. Ever.
That one word hit her like slap in the face.
'' I don't need or want your worry. What I want is some respect! ''
She muttered angrily.
'' Jesus, now what are you blabbering about? I do respect you! ''
'' No, you don't! ''
They were hissing in the each other's face now, nose to nose. Nikita holding on to her rage in an attempt to resist the sudden awareness of his breath on her lips. As long as she continued to she vent at him, she would feel nothing but fury flowing through her veins.
'' If you had an ounce of respect for me, you wouldn't push aside my opinions, or dismiss my theories simply because they rock your little prearranged universe! And you sure as hell wouldn't cancel our dinner plans because you want chase after some air-headed hoochie who calls you at the last minute!
I'm sick and tired of being your .. Your laughable clown! ''
His dark brows knitted in a straight line as Michael fully absorbed her anger; he had fights with her before, and she gave him more explosive vocalizations of her opinionated self, but what upset him was realizing that Nikita seriously believed every word she was saying.
It was so absurd that he couldn't even fathom a decent reply to her nonsense. She was the only one he trusted and it seemed impossible that she didn't know this simple fact.
'' I don't laugh at you. Ever ''
He hoped he could calm her down. She was so tipsy. Michael made a mental note of not taking her out for drinks in the future.
''You are such a liar Michael. Half of the things I believe in is junk to you ''
She bounced back. Her face was flushed and her eyes were now lucid. They reminded him of two lapis lazuli: it was the same beautiful shade of blue.
Then it was as if all the energy flew out of her body, leaving her completely spent. A thousand little fires exploded inside her head, weakening her further.
Michael seemed to notice the change while he watched her uncrossing her legs and sitting on her knees, avoiding his gaze.
'' I'm sorry for canceling dinner, ' Kita''
He couldn't really tell her anything else. Sex had looked like a good way to kill the stress and he jumped at the chance of an easy lay. That was it. He had not meant hurt her feelings.
Nikita hated his ''I'm sorry-routine '' more than anything in this world.
But he sounded so apologetic that she couldn't help but look up at him, although she had a feeling that wasn't such a good idea.
Her tummy flip-flopped when she met his vivid eyes.
She was too close to him, and she forgot how to breath, so close that she could count the pores in his skin.
And he was smiling at her, that little, sexy as hell shy half-smile of his. That devastating half-smile.
Nikita could distinctly smell his shaving cream and the light musk made her dizzy, sending a visceral jolt of pure sensation through her body, setting off all kinds of alarms.
She tore her gaze away from his petal soft, sensuously molded mouth with a growing sense of frustration and longing.
It was unfair of him to be so utterly ravishing.
So powerfully masculine.
How could she stay angry with him, when all her stupid, treacherous body desired was to bury herself in his arms and enjoy the privilege to simply touch and taste that temptingly smooth skin?
Michael was staring her and she felt it.
Of course, she should have answered him. Maybe accept his apology.
Or even refuse it.
Being the object of his concentration caused her to shiver.
'' Ni-ki-ta ? What is wrong? ''
He was still gentle with her, touching her shoulder to lightly shake her. She both hated and loved the way he pronounced her name, unlike any other man ever did. It was like a lover's caress. But they weren't lovers and every time he said her name it was a painful reminder of what she couldn't have but desperately desired.
Damn him for being so gorgeous. If everything about him weren't so sensuously godlike, she would be at least capable of looking at him without having X -rated thoughts.
'' Sometimes, Michael, I really hate you ''
Nikita ranted in an exasperated sigh, then she leaned in and kissed him.