Chapter Four: Of the Falling and Boyfriends
"LILY" Laura was at her side. She was calling loudly all was black. The picture began to clear and lily found herself lying on the floor of the entrance hall. She could see fuzzy faces of fellow gryffindors and other students surrounding her. She tried to move, but found it was too hard.
"Back up! Give her some space!" She heard a deep soothing voice coming from near where it sounded Laura was standing. Her vision began to clear again.
"James?" Lily said confused as the fuzzy figure behind Laura came into focus. It was a tall guy in a school uniform and gryffindor robes. She couldn't see the color of his eyes, but the voice reminded her of James in an uncanny way. "Where am I? W-what happened?" Lily asked her vision clearing again so that she could see the people she was talking to.
No one spoke for a moment, until James walked over to her and knelt next to her. "You fell, someone might have hit you, shoved you, or cast a spell on you to make you fall. But anyway, you feel really, and you, ugh, err, you hit your head on the stairs and tumbled down." James said as softly as he could. Lily felt an ache in her head and put her hand on her forehead. Her vision was failing her and she could see four James's all swaying and floating she let out a small grumbling noise and her vision blacked out again.
When she awoke she was lying in white sheets. She was in a room with cold stone walls and there was a lot of white in the room. In the corner there was an old cupboard filled with clean white sheets and in a box next to the cupboard was a small hamper on the floor. Where the sheets were washing themselves inside of it and then drying themselves and hanging up all on the act of magic. She noticed that the window next to her was dark and stars were gleaming outside of the place where she sat in this white room.
"Lily! Your Okay!" She heard Laura say as she ran in at exactly eight o'clock pm, according to the large wall clock opposite Lily's bed. "We were all worrying so much, they are coming to see if you're okay…" Laura ran over to her and gave her a large hug. "Lily I am so sorry! I-I didn't know what was happening! I should have grabbed you, you, looked so scared your eyes. They were so wide in shock! I was scarred! I'm sorry!" Laura said and began to cry next to Lily, her tears cascading and splattering onto the white sheets.
"Laura, its okay." Lily said sitting up and giving her a hug. "I'm fine, I just don't know really what happened. How did I end up here?" Lily asked confused all she could remember now was a feeling as though hands were shoving her down the stairs. She had a fuzzy memory of figures standing around here talking to her.
"Lily, James brought you up. He carried you; he-he was one of the guys first on the scene! He made sure you weren't, weren't really badly hurt. He and Sirius their the ones who were there first. They helped me and you both out, I was crying lily I almost fell out of shock…Sirius caught me though, James was the one who brought you up here. Oh Lily I was so scarred! Lily, I-I don't want anything to ever happen to you…you're my best friend!" Laura added quickly and she put her hand on lily's forehead. Stroking her red hair Lily smiled up at Laura and gave her a hug. She knew deep down that this was all Laura needed at the moment. As soon as their hug broke James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter Pettigrew all walked into the room. They walked over to where Lily was lying on the bed and stood above her looming above her like the figures in her memory.
"Hey Lily" James said walking over he was the first to speak of the whole group. Sirius was now caught up in a long passionate kiss with Laura, which like a five or six year old made her feel disgusted. She looked away and looks instead up at James who was now sitting on the edge of her bed. She smiled up at him genuinely. "Lily, what happened earlier? What do you remember?" He asked carefully looking down at her with softer eyes than she could have ever dreamed of.
Lily told him of how she felt hands on her back, two cold strong hands. Shoving her down the stairs. And how the feeling of those hands, had scarred her more than anything yet. "James, I don't want you to think I'm weak. I-I, they just felt like it was a dead person's hands, or-or a really dark wizard…someone cold!" Lily said and her voice began to crack. "I didn't even see anything, I just felt the hands push me…" she said with a shiver and looked back up into his hazel eyes. His eyes were full of concern at the moment. She looked down and a tear began to fall as she remembered the cold feelings of the time before she woke up on the floor, and even later in the hospital wing.
Lily looked up after explaining everything to James. It had taken half and hour and at this time, everyone had left. Everyone that is, except James. Why hadn't she noticed that they left? After a while Madam Pomfrey an average sized witch in about her 30's walk in. She was bustling around in the boring nurse uniform of Hogwarts. She walked over to Lily and smiled at her. "You can go dear, be careful though. Maybe don't go places alone," Madam Pomfrey said with a chipper tone to her voice.
"Thanks" she said quietly. She sat up and began to get out of the bed. "Hey, James" She said quickly as she stepped off the bed and slipped on her shoes. "Tha-" She began to thank him but he cut her off.
"Its okay, you don't need to thank me" He said quietly and began to walk with her to the door. "It was really scary," He said to her as he walked next to her down the hallway. Lily heard his voice in a new way just then, not an arrogant way, but a concerned and caring way.
Lily looked over at James and glared at him. She didn't know why, but having him tell her not to thank him hurt her. It enraged her. "Potter, you are," she said accusingly stopping in the middle of the corridor. "I was saying thank you because I thought you deserved it! Okay?" She said from behind her teeth. "Maybe you didn't its your fecking choice!" Lily wasn't intimidated by his height. Even though she was 5'6" and he was 6' tall! She wasn't intimidated.
James stopped dead in his tracks as Lily yelled at him. She knew she shocked him; it was a week ago that they had agreed to put aside their differences. She knew though that would never really truly happen. She felt the familiar anger pulsing through her veins.
"Hey-" James began to speak but Lily wouldn't, she couldn't have it right now.
"NO!" She yelled at him, the fires of rage blazing behind her eyes. "I-" but before she could go on, James had pulled her slowly into him. She felt like screaming. She didn't know what was happening, she didn't know why she hadn't rejected this advance.
Her body was pressed up against his strong muscular quidditch body. She could feel his strength, and also something else, but she couldn't see what it was just yet. He pulled her into a long kiss. She began to kiss him back before she stopped herself. "What am I doing?" Lily whispered pulling away. She couldn't muster enough strength to get out of his arms. Nor did she feel like she wanted to. Her mind was in a muddle she was just, confused.
"Lily" He whispered against her cheek. His hands moving one entwined in her hair, the other pressed against the small of her back. Lily didn't respond she simply stared up into his eyes. She was getting lost in the rich green-brown hazel of his eyes. They pulled her in and kept her warm like and they reminded her of the sweet richness of honey. A pressure began to build behind her eyes. She didn't know why, but tears were welling in her eyes. "Lily," James said again, even softer. "Don't cry," he whispered kissing away a tear.
Lily moved her hands from his shoulders and whipped away her tears. "James, I hate you," she said through sobs. "How could you?" She said and began to sob. She didn't understand her emotions right now and the odd feeling of nothingness floated through her.
"Lily?" He said questioningly. "I'm sorry if I offended you, okay." He said and leaned down to give her a hug. "We need to talk," he said grabbing her hand and leading her down a hallway.
"Where are we going?" Lily asked confused as James stopped in front of a blank piece of wall. She looked down at the floor refusing to meet James's eyes. She didn't want to be pulled into them. It was her downfall they were her downfall. When she looked back up there was door in front of her.
"Are you coming or not?" James asked his voice low it seemed to be coming from the back of his throat. Grudgingly Lily followed him into a large room. It was an image of a quant sitting room with a large stone fireplace a lion's head engraved on the mantel. The floor was hard wood. There was a large red rug on the floor with gold details. On the wall above the fireplace there were pictures and there was a small golden love seat in front of the blazing fireplace, it was far enough away to stay warm and fit a small coffee table in front of the love seat. On the coffee table there were books, and photo albums. There was a small record player in the corner on the room. There was a tray with food and drinks on it. Lily looked around taken aback by the beauty of this room. What was this room?
"What is this place?" She asked her jaw dropped. She looked slowly over to James and she thought she caught the end of smirk. As soon as she saw it, it disappeared.
"This Mrs. Evans" he said calmly, "is the room of requirements," he said with a smile. "This is a secret room, and if you go looking for it, you will not find it. If your good…I might teach you how to find it," he said with a laugh. Lily could feel a blush rising in her cheeks.
"James what are you playing at?" Lily asked she could feel her heart racing. She watched him carefully studying him and what he was doing. She tried to find a hint as to why she was here. Why they were here? She took a careful step back as James stepped closer to her. She continued stepping away from him, until she felt the cold hard solid feeling of the wall. James was now just an inch away from her; he could easily touch her by moving even a pinky. She blushed as she took the final step up to her so she was effectively pinned against the wall.
"Your beautiful" He said softly leaning in and breathing against her cheek. His hot breathe tickling her skin and leaving a burning sensation that ran through her skin and pulsed through her veins.
"James" She said with a sigh. She was confused and felt an urge to feel what he felt, to see what he saw, to think what he thought. She wanted for a moment to live with him forever. She wanted to be the one by his side as he died, and yet at the same time she knew she could never be that girl. She craned her neck to see into his eyes, and her breath caught as she saw her reflected in his glasses. She gulped quietly and tried not to be surprised of how she looked in her reflection. James brushed her hair out of her face slowly and tentatively began to kiss her on the neck. Lily sighed and looked up at him in a new light that she didn't quiet understand. "James" she said even softer than she imagined ever saying his name.
Right as she was about to start talking and asking him questions he kissed her full on the lips. It wasn't like any kiss Lily had ever experienced. It was soft and passionate and she could feel the longing that he had felt. It was sheer bliss to her. Everywhere his lips touched her the skin burned like small fires placed into her body. As James's hands began to travel over her body she felt an aching that never existed before. Her back stiffened as his hands began to travel up her shirt; he had begun to play with her bra. Lily blushed violently. "James, I can't, I'm sorry! But I just can't." She said forcefully and pushed him off of her. She fixed her top and made sure her bra was completely snapped.
"What is it Evans?" James asked a different fire burning in his eyes. "WHAT?" He snapped loudly. She didn't want to hurt him, but she could never do anything like this with him again. It wasn't right. She didn't want to lead him on and then break his heart at the end of the year.
"James, I-I've-I'm Dating someone…I'm sorry" She said and grabbed her robe which she had thrown off in the heat of the moment. "Look, I've got to go." She said tears welling up in her eyes. She began to start for the door but he got there before her and held it closed.
"You have a boyfriend? Eh? Who is it Evans?" He asked confused. He was staring at her slightly pained expression just barley hidden beneath a mask of manly toughness.
Lily gulped and felt a lump in her throat. She hadn't known that James didn't know this yet. "He's a…someone you don't know" she lied and began to blush.
"Who is it, humor me Evans?" James said strongly pinning her to the floor with his dark gaze.
"Ask your friends James! I-I do not want to tell you, okay! I don't want to tell you, because I'm afraid of what the bloody fuck you would do! Move!" Lily screamed at him her eyes dangerously flashing.
"Fine Evans" He said poignantly He moved from the doorway, but stood near enough so Lily had to squeeze past him. "Evans, before you go" he said softly but she could feel the hurt in her voice. He grabbed her hand softly and looked into her eyes, his expression mottled. He pressed forward and opened the door slightly, but leaned in and kissed her. The kiss was shorter, and less passionate then the past one. It seemed to be a way of James saying good-bye with no words. No words just lips.
Lily ran down the rest of the way to Gryffindor tower. As she stepped into the common room she walked over to the fireplace and sat down next to Laura. "Hey, Laura…can we talk, in private" Lily said an urgency in her voice. She walked into the corner of the room, where no one could hear them and she told her what had happened. She told her everything, and how she had to tell him that she had a boyfriend…that Sirius, Remus, and Peter Pettigrew never told him that she had a boyfriend.
"Never?" Laura said with a hint of distaste on her voice. "I'll be right back," she said and Lily watched from the corner window and saw the portrait hole open. Her breath caught, she feared it would be James. It wasn't James though. She smiled as she saw him walk into the hall. She walked over to the guy standing still under the shadow of the portrait.
"Hey Lil" He said softly kissing her on the lips.
"Hey John" She said softly. She leaned in and kissed him back, and as they stood there innocently kissing, she didn't even notice the door open. Or the boy standing barely inside of the hole his mouth gaping, the only guy on Lily's mind that moment was John Thomas. She knew he would disapprove of what had happened earlier in the room of requirements. She decided to keep things quiet for a while and tell him when the time was right. That night when Lily went to bed she fell asleep thinking of how she would tell John, and she dreamt of what had happened that evening. She dreamt of the way he had kissed her, the way he a touched her, she knew it was wrong but she wanted to be touched like that again. Touched ever so tenderly.