A/N: If there are any really strange misspellings I am sorry. My computer is a bit, off with words. It tries to change "herself" to "she" when I'm saying 'lily made herself concentrate…' it tries to change it into 'lily made she concentrate' which…I don't believe would sound really… "Strong" in this story!
If you have any comments, please post them (if you think one part needs work, I'll do an edited copy of the story when it is finished completely. That is if any of you, the readers, feel that it needs to be corrected in any way at all!)
Chapter Five: Of Replays and Two J's
Lily was sitting in the common room. She was waiting for John to come down so that they could go to breakfast together. It was new to her, dating John but she liked it. They had just barely started dating after gryffindors won the last quidditch match. Lily wasn't very outward about the relationship just yet. She was still in the beginning stage of the relationship. She had been hanging around with John a bit but they both were kind of awkward around each other for the beginning part of the relationship. As she sat there waiting for John, she could feel regret bubbling in her. It was almost at boiling point.
She knew from Laura that James had told the gang. Laura had also told her that they liked being called the marauders. Lily had no idea why anyone would want to me called a marauder? Still as she sat in the plush gryffindor red chair, that had come to be her favorite over the years, she thought of what had happened the day before. She thought of how she would tell John and she feared what James would say or do. She knew he was the kind of person who would make fun of her, or more closely tell John when she wasn't looking. To her misfortune John was in the same dorm with all of the Marauders. Sitting there she felt she would surely go insane. The events of the day before and more truly the events that happened in the room of requirements played in her head. It replayed and stopped when she left him in the room. Then like a record with a skip in it, it stopped and started from the beginning. Each time she saw it playing in her minds eye, she felt that her regrets were getting closer to boiling.
Lily snapped herself out of her reverie and made herself concentrate on conjuring a box. She thought the words of the spell in her mind and could feel her head pulsing with all the power she had she made herself concentrate. She concentrated on what she wanted it to look like, but ever so often the night before would slip into her mind and she would have to force it out again. When she heard the sound of something falling slowly and landing on the table she opened her eyes. The image horrified her, she had conjured the worst thing she could ever imagine conjuring. It was a box sure enough, but if you looked into the glossy wood of the lid you would see a faint moving picture of the accounts of the night before. "Crap" she mumbled and banished it, hoping to never see it again and hoping that she would do well in transfigurations and charms that day. She did not want any more mishaps like this to happen, and especially in classes that she had with James and more importantly John.
She leaned back and watched the staircase to the boy's dormitory. She smiled as she saw John stepping out of the dark winding staircase. "Hey John!" She said walking over and kissing him full on the lips. She hopped that James had not told him about the day before or talked about it in his sleep. If he had done this, she would feel such regrets and even more she would feel the sadness and darkness of being alone. She knew that John was the jealous type. He had told her when they had first started dating, she didn't even notice, but he had noticed. James had been staring at her in potions class and John had told her that it unnerved him that he could do such a thing, and she would not tell him off for it.
"C'mon, lets head down to breakfast" he said in a smooth way. She knew he never meant to control her in any way at all. It still happened sometimes, but she knew he said things in a way some people would think of as controlling. She knew he was asking her, he would never tell her what to do.
They walked down to breakfast hand-in-hand. He was smiling at her, and on the way down every once in a while he would slip into their conversation about charms homework how beautiful he thought she was. He would tell her that he thought that she would get Outstanding on her newt levels no matter what happened during the examination.
"John" she said in a cute but irritated tone. She tried to tell him with her eyes to not complement her so much. She would never tell him that she was even shyer than he would expect. Still, she was. They made their way to the gryffindor table and John picked a spot near Laura so that Lily could sit and talk to her best friend. He knew they were best friends. Everyone in the whole school knew. To Lily's misfortune James and all of the Marauders were already sitting there. Lily could swear she saw a smirk slide across James's face when she took a seat next to Laura.
Lily smiled half to be nice, and half because she was nervous because of the night before. "How are you all doing" Lily asked to be kind. As soon as she said it, she wished it had never come out. When she said it, James looked at Sirius who looked at Remus, who looked at Peter. It was odd, and unfortunately Lily knew what they were about to get at.
"Well," Laura said quickly. Lily sighed quietly from relief. She felt now that she would have died if anyone else had spoken first. She was quite sure everyone else knew this too. "Lily, I want to talk to you later on this afternoon." Lily could feel the urgency in her tone and knew it would be very important.
"Oh Lily, Lily, Lily" James said with an heir of haughty conceited way. His eyes flashing a dangerous way, and in that moment, Lily knew he was planning on telling John. Her heart raced, she needed to think of something to do. Something that would make him not tell John. Nothing was coming to mind; she felt a slow sinking feeling in her stomach. It felt as though she was stuck in a maze and getting deeper, and she didn't know how to get out. His eyes flashed dangerously and she noticed Sirius was begging to mouth something to her.
"How did you like the room of requirements?" Sirius mouthed a sly smile creeping across his face. Lily felt as though she was in the heart of the maze. She had found no way to get through the Maze of that morning. Not just yet that is.
"Pad foot, Dear old pal," James began. The same dangerous glint in his eye was now blazing stronger than before. Lily felt her heart begin to sink; she knew he would be her demise. He liked her she knew know. She had thought naively that he had gotten over her that year. She had thought that he had offered to be her friend, just to be her friend. It wasn't that at all. "You do know, I'd say that she loved it." James added. Lily's heart sank even more. She knew what would come next. She knew that he would tell John what had happened if she didn't act fast.
Lily gave James a warning glare. She was attempting to telepathically tell him to shut up. When it didn't work and only made him laugh and give her a slight headache. She resorted on using plan B. Lily pulled her leg back slowly so that no one would notice that it was her indeed who was doing this. She released her foot in an even swoop. She felt the gratifying thunk as her foot made contact with James's Leg. She didn't even notice that she had not hit him where she had been meaning to hit him.
"BLOODY HELL!" James yelled loudly. His eyes narrowed slightly on Lily and she knew he assumed it was her. "What was that for?" James asked yelled opening his eyes wider and wider with pain. "Who kicked me?" He asked but Lily knew that he had settled on it being her. She had kicked him last year in potions class one day. It wasn't her fault that she had bad aim.
Lily didn't look at James the rest of the breakfast. She knew that he was staring at her. She could feel his eyes boring into her. She needed to get out of there; there was a tension building that was growing stronger by the second. It could have been just in her mind, but she felt it was too strong to just be her own doing. She finished her breakfast and said good-bye to John and Laura, she kissed John goodbye and walked to the Library. She had a study period during first period.
Lily walked to a table by a large window. The sun streamed through the window making the table warm and a lot warmer than the rest of the school. Lily took her charms book out of her pocket and began to read how to make an ordinary mirror be a magic mirror. She was deeply immersed in the book that she didn't even hear or notice anyone sit down across from her, or sitting down across from her. She was in mid sentence when her book closed. She looked up to see James sitting across from her. His hand on the book holding it closed.
"Evans. What was that for? Hmm?" James asked taking her book and putting it next to him.
"What was what for Potter?" Lily asked sternly. Trying to take her book back from him.
"You know Lily, I know really. It was you who kicked me earlier. I saw you lean in" he said in a playful tone.
"Potter, not now!" Lily whispered at him. "Potter, give me my book." Lily said in a controlling tone. Her eyes flashing dangerously at him when he didn't move to give her book back she leaned in to grab it. He moved the book out of her reach and levitated it into the air, just above her reach. It seemed he did this so she would have to jump like a dog to get the book. She wouldn't do it. It was his fault in fact that the book was in mid air in the first place. She felt that it was his job to give her the book back. "Potter!" Lily hissed at him, and all he did was laugh.
He leaned in; Lily noticed that his arms were under the table on his lap. She felt a pulling sensation and saw her chair was being pulled up against the table. She wasn't able to move anymore. He had gotten her stuck in front of her. "Evans, I'm not going to give you your book back. That is, not until you apologize." He said and leaned in. Lily knew that there would be a catch, but she didn't know what it would be at the moment. She was stuck. She felt a slight pressure as a minute passed from him asking her to apologize to him. She felt her face begin to redden and knew she was blushing.
"Please" Lily pleaded a blush creeping up her cheeks and getting deeper as it went. He shook his head like a child being told to do something it never wanted to do. He was acting immature, lily noted and tried not to act annoyed. Even though, it was hard not to act the way she was. Lily felt his hand slip higher up her leg with every minute that she dind't apologize. After a few minutes he was near her mid-thigh. She felt his had slipped higher. Finally she thought it had gone. It hadn't, he was moving his hand very slowly, creeping up her leg. She felt it again after a few moments and took in a sharp breath. He had been almost to her knickers when she had realized he had not left and ignored her like she had pleased.
She tried to move away, but she was glued to the spot. "Potter! Stop okay! If you do this, than I'll never give you an apology in your entire life. And, I will never talk to you again in my whole life, and your whole life!" Lily hissed knowing that this would stop him. He seemed to stop, and then Lily gasped. She saw John was in the Library. He hadn't seen them yet, but she knew that he would see them sure enough. He would see them and be jealous and think more of what ever James had done. Even if they had been innocently studying. "JAMES" Lily hissed. "John is coming cut it out!" Lily hissed harshly and James stopped immediately. She knew he didn't want her to be hurt for what he was doing. She also knew that if anything ever happened, John would tell his future children about what had happened. He would tell them to be careful around the Potter children. She felt her heart race, she knew that John wanted children, but she didn't know was if it was with her that he wanted them. It wasn't even halfway through first quarter of the school year.
"And Potter," Lily added threateningly. "If you touch my things, or me again. And your dead" at that moment John walked over and sat next to her.
"What's wrong?" John asked putting an arm lazily over her shoulder. Lily could tell without looking, that John as scoping James out. It was hard to deal with all the hatred John and James shared for each other. It seemed the James had only begun to hate James this year. Lily felt that this was the reason that John was kicked off of the Quidditch team. She knew that John hadn't liked James for a long time. She knew this because he had often told her when they were on a walk during on of their breaks. Even though they were holding hands and snuggling together. He would slip in that Potter liked her, and that he didn't trust Potter. It was getting rather annoying. Every time Lily heard John say something about James she felt like smashing and breaking something afterwards. He said this kind of thing often too. It seemed that every conversation held a part of how James was obsessed with Lily. John wasn't in her Potions class and she knew, that if he had been. He would know that the Potions Professor also liked Lily.
"Nothings wrong John" Lily said her voice harsher than it meant to be. "I-I Just can't seem to find my Charms book" Lily said glaring over at James who was now slipping the book into his bag. Lily knew he would steal it one day. She just never thought it would be when she was right in front of him. She knew he was setting her up. She knew that he was making sure that she would apologize to him, talk to him, or even see him again. It felt wrong to Lily and she knew her parents wouldn't approve of this one bit. How could she be so careless and let this happen?