Everything either belongs to Joss or it should, no infringement is intended and no profit is to be made. When you get right down to it I'm not really worth suing anyway unless you want a share of an underpaid civil servants wages and it just wouldn't be worth the hassle trust me.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Noé Restaurant– Los Angeles – March 2004

Cordelia snapped her cell-phone shut and put it back into her handbag. 'They caught Drusilla' she told the others, 'heading back to LA now' she continued, reaching for her glass of sparkling mineral water. The reactions of the others matched her own feelings on the matter pretty well, especially the look of distaste on Gunn's face.

'Well that's either good or bad news depending how you look at it' Fred responded continuing to look over the menu. 'I know you weren't going to agree to Mexican again but why couldn't we have gone somewhere for a burger?' she asked. They had already asked the waiter to give them plenty of time to choose a meal given the slightly esoteric cuisine on offer.

'This place is raved about, it's somewhere to be seen if you don't want to look like you're just going somewhere to be seen' she responded, looking over her own menu.

Xander looked at Cordelia askance, 'Still aching for that movie-star lifestyle?' he asked. 'You already spend money on yourself like a Hollywood starlet.'

Cordelia glared at him. 'I earned every penny I spend' she replied.

'Oh come on, you've taken over another room at the hotel just for clothes storage' Gunn interjected. 'How many pairs of shoes can you actually use anyhow?' he asked.

'I like to coordinate' Cordelia responded defensively, 'and we can afford it.'

'There's a reason I keep the AI and Scooby accounts separate and you're it' Anya told her. 'Angel might have given you free reign to spend his share of the investment returns but its money that could be working for us on the stock-market' she pointed out. 'We took out a bank loan to pay for the Shadow Valley project, instead of paying for it directly, because we could make far more using the money to play the markets over the next year or so than we would lose on the interest payments.'

'It's not really playing when you already know what the shares are going to do' Fred noted.

'It does take some of the suspense out of it' Anya admitted, 'but I still get plenty of job satisfaction' she told them honestly. She decided it would probably be better not to add it was reminiscent of the warm glow and sense of fulfilment she always got from a job well done during her first millennia or so as a Vengeance Demon, they were so limited in their acceptance of her past foibles.

'Talking of job satisfaction and Shadow Valley we break ground the first week of April' Xander announced. 'I've got a work crew lined up, should have the entire thing wrapped up by the end of the year' he told them.

'And we're going to have to live in a trailer for the first three months until the first of the accommodation blocks are finished' Anya complained.

'We?' Cordelia asked in surprise. She knew that Xander was going to personally supervise the construction of the new Slayer Headquarters and Academy being built over The First Evils old vineyard lair but nobody said anything about Anya going with him before.

Xander smiled. 'Anya is coming with me' he responded reaching over to take her hand. 'We're pretty much engaged again, or engaged to be engaged might be closer to the mark.'

Gunn grinned. 'Too cheap to buy her a ring?' he asked.

'Don't want to run the risk of hurting her again by doing something before I'm sure about it' Xander replied. 'Besides which Illyria told me if I broke Anya's heart again she'd rip mine out and give it to her' he continued. 'Coming from anyone else that line would have sounded like an idle threat but with her you just get the impression she really meant it' he added with a grimace.

'I like being the one who is closer friends with the most dangerous person in our circle for once' Anya said happily. 'You had the slayer and the witch in your corner for years but now I get to play the god card.'

Cordelia chuckled. 'If you have children they could have a god-godmother' she joked.

'Let's not talk about the c word' Xander told her quickly.

'I'm eleven-hundred years old and my biological clock is ticking again now, you can't avoid the topic forever' Anya told him.

'No but as Willow might say, by all the gods and goddesses, bar one, I can try' Xander replied, tongue set firmly in cheek.

'So where is Willow?' Gunn queried.

'Cleveland, having fun with Kennedy' Xander replied. 'I'd have asked her for details but she wouldn't provide the video evidence.'

'Men are so shallow' Cordelia remarked.

'Ain't that the truth' a woman's voice interrupted.

Fred looked up from the menu. 'Oh great' she said with a groan.

'Hi Denzel, didn't think this was your kind of place' the woman now standing behind Cordelia said. 'Looked you up at the hotel a while back hoping for some help but you weren't around.'

Gunn looked up at her. 'Hi Gwen, long time no see' he told her. 'Guys' he said turning to Anya and Xander. 'Gwen Raiden, Gwen this is Anya and Xander, and yes they're just as weird as we are so don't feel the need to stand on ceremony.'

Anya looked the woman up and down. Is she some kind of leather fetishist?' she asked Gunn with no attempt to be subtle about it.

'It's rubber and plastic and it's for insulation, not kink' Gwen told her. 'Well I do like the look' she admitted.

'Insulation?' Xander asked.

'Just don't offer to shake hands' Fred advised. 'She'll either give you a fifty-thousand volt shock… or if her gloves are on she might steal your wristwatch' she added sarcastically.

'Sorry?' Xander asked in confusion.

Qwen pulled off her right glove and looked around to see if anyone was watching before holding out her index finger and pinky and discharging a bolt of lightning between them. 'Some girls carry a Tazer for self defence' she said. 'Mine came as standard' she told him with a half smile.

'Demon?' Anya asked. 'Not that I'm judging you on that, or the thief thing' she added. She never had returned the money she stole trying to impress that kid with the enchanted jacket, it was now being carefully laundered along with the other money and making a tidy profit to boot.

'No just a freak' Gwen replied. 'Sorry to run but I'm meeting a client. See you around' she told them.

'Maybe on America's Most Wanted' Cordelia said quietly as Gwen headed off.

'So is that the kind of person you were hoping to run into here?' Anya asked Cordelia.

'Well at least she's a millionaire thief, they don't let in the complete riff-raff' Cordelia replied.

'First Dave the software billionaire, now the rich electrothief with the great line in hookerware' Xander observed, 'you LA guys really did run in different social circles than us small-town types' he said.

'Sunnydale was just so provincial' Cordelia agreed.

Great Northern Forest – Pylea – March 2004

'So this is how you spend your evenings?' Buffy asked, checking her marshmallow on a stick before putting it back to the fire for a few more seconds.

'If we're not on night patrol or getting drunk, yeah pretty much' the slayer sitting cross-legged next to her replied.

'Getting drunk?' Buffy asked suspiciously, looking around. They were formed into a large circle right around the campfire and if it wasn't for the lack of songs and the fact that each of them had an assault rifle resting besides them it could have been a Girl Guides camp. The days' activities had been anything but as wholesome though. Buffy had accompanied them on a mission to raid enemy supply lines and as an observer to the operation she had been more than a little surprised by the way they operated. Buffy had slain many demons in her day but she had never before witnessed them being taking apart so clinically and methodically, the girls and their mercenary companions simply annihilated the opposition, no quarter offered nor even considered to offer. Buffy was simply grateful there were no human or construct soldiers amongst the enemy ranks that day, she suspected they would have been dealt with in an equally ruthless and detached manner and she didn't need those kind of images in her head.

'With my scotch' Ashton noted from the other side of the circle. 'I'll be claiming it back on expenses' he declared.

'You've been letting these underage girls get drunk with mercenaries' Buffy said accusingly turning to Wesley who was sat between her and Illyria.

Wesley nodded. 'Be fair' he said, 'despite some of the girls attempts the mercenary contingent remains largely uncorrupted' he deadpanned before opening his mouth so Illyria could pop a marshmallow into his mouth. She was actually holding them into the fire with her own hand. It wasn't remotely hot enough to burn her, saved having to use a stick and most importantly it helped remind everyone else who the meanest bitch around the campfire was.

'They won't hold out for ever' one of the slayers joked.

'I was such a naïve innocent before I came here' Ashton responded sadly, playing along. 'I think I've fallen into bad company.'

'No just a badass platoon' Denise declared. 'The few, the proud, the gunslayers' she howled into the night, snatching up her G-36K and holding it aloft over her head. Her words immediately prompted a chorus of enthusiastic whoops and distinctly unladylike grunts and a few others also mimicked her pose with their own carbines.

One arm around Wesley's shoulders, the other outstretched towards the flames with another marshmallow held between thumb and forefinger Illyria smiled at the girls behaviour. They had made such considerable progress since they came here the God-King decided, so much more aggressive and militaristic than the frankly wussy slayers back on Earth. 'I doubt the forces of the Wolf, Ram and Hart expected you to react so forcefully and effectively against their use of firearm equipped human troops' she observed.

'They're nothing to worry about, just a bunch of mercenary pussies' one of the girls declared haughtily.

'Hey' Ashton responded in a hurt tone.

'You and Janko are honorary members of us girls' she added quickly.

The big Croatian whose silhouette was easily spotted from the shadow he cast on the trees behind grunted. 'We're honoured' he announced sardonically.

'I'd have gone with fucking emasculated myself' Ashton commented with a snort.

'Aw Foreign Legionnaires are so cute when they're all hurt and pouty' Denise joked.

The mercenary sighed. 'I think I went overboard with moulding them in my image Jan' he told his friend.

'I warned you' Perković replied.

'No you didn't' Ashton disagreed.

'Well, meant to but already used up quota of words that week' the Croatian told him in his halting, albeit improving English, and with a grin on his face.

'Oh yeah, laugh it up Silent Bob' Ashton told him.

Perković's grin widened and then to the girls delight he reached up and turned his beret around so it faced backwards.

Buffy had already eaten her first marshmallow and was heating up another. 'If any of you want to portal out with me and Illyria tomorrow night you can' she told them. 'Not you, you're on contract' she told Ashton who had immediately stuck his hand up and who lowered it again, trying to look dejected. 'I'm being serious' Buffy told them, 'I already told Vi and the girls out on patrol with her that you can all decide to leave whenever you like' she announced. 'None of you signed up for the way this thing has turned out and nobody is going to criticise you for wanting to go back home.'

The girls fell silent and looked around at each other. Eventually one of them spoke up. 'Thanks for the offer Slayer-Chef but I think I speak for everyone when I say fuck that and just send us more help and more guns' she declared.

Illyria nodded her approval at the sentiment. These were troops who strike fear as well as wooden stakes into the hearts of their enemies, well armed, well trained and above all well motivated. 'When I return in two weeks I will bring both' she told the girls. 'Plus I will bring my own new weapons and fight alongside you.'

'Hell yeah' Denise responded appreciatively. 'If we run into enough demons could we go for one of those pyramid of skulls deals like I saw you had during weapons training in Vahla ha'nesh?' she asked hopefully. 'That'll demoralise the bastards, finding a bunch of their friends heads all neatly stacked' she opined, the notion greeted by more than a few nods of agreement although she wasn't really being serious.

Buffy blinked, this Pylean War thing really wasn't working out how she planned she decided, whereas meanwhile however for her part Illyria, taking Denise at her word, felt very much like either doing the dance of joy or making a highly undignified "squee" noise, both of which urges she resisted. Add in the fact the Old One was going to get sex from Wesley for the first time in weeks this was turning out to be an exceptionally good day she decided.

'No offence boss' Ashton called across to Buffy, 'but your troops are starting to scare the shit out of me' he told her only half in jest.

Wesley leaned over towards Buffy. 'I know we originally planned on six month tours but I'm starting to lean towards the idea that we should rotate them back to Earth after three months in the field' he whispered. 'Before they end up completely sociopathic and irredeemable I mean' he suggested.

'Yeah that seems a good idea' Buffy agreed wholeheartedly. If Wesley of all people was worried about their mental wellbeing they must be getting seriously unhinged out here she decided.

Caverns – Cuyahoga Falls – March 2004

'So is this really your idea of a fun date?' Willow whispered quietly as she followed Kennedy and most of her team through the winding limestone cave system flashlight in one hand but keeping the other one free in case she needed to witch things up a bit.

Wishing she had taken more care to waterproof her boots, or maybe put on a pair of those Gore-Tex socks Sandy had suggested, Kennedy tried to ignore her sodden feet and half turned back towards her girlfriend. 'We didn't even know these caves were here' she said. 'You were the one that said you were picking up a vibe, I was planning a candlelit supper' she retorted.

'I should have kept my mouth shut' Willow replied splashing through another of the puddles that filled every depression in the cave floor. In heavy rains this place probably filled up completely she decided, hoping they weren't going to get a sudden downpour. 'The entrance was concealed by a spell though, that can't be good news.'

'I concur' Stephen responded, his own boots keeping the water out nicely since he was more than anal enough to spend time waterproofing and polishing them himself. 'Any incidence of magic this close to a Hellmouth is almost certainly indicative of malevolent activity of some kind.'

Willow frowned. 'That's a sweeping judgement' she replied. 'I used to use magic near a Hellmouth all the time' she pointed out.

'And you once tried to destroy the world' Stephen replied. Game, set and match he thought to himself trying to resist the urge to smirk.

Willow muttered something unpleasant, Spike was right, nearly trigger one measly apocalypse and they'll be throwing it back in your face forever she thought. 'Magicks are getting stronger up ahead' she announced.

'Hey what's that?' Kennedy queried, shining her own flashlight against the cave wall.

Stephen took a couple to steps to bring himself nearer and traced the carvings etched into the rock with his fingers. 'Phoenician script' he said. 'Newly carved but I wouldn't expect it to be ancient, the Phoenicians were great sailors but even they didn't have trade routes that reached out as far from here' he said with a chuckle. They might have dominated the Mediterranean coast a thousand years before Christ but the North American Great Lakes were a bloody long way to row a galley.

'What's it say?' Kennedy asked.

'Worship he that sees the future and the past and be rewarded' Stephen answered then frowned 'That rings a bell somehow' he said, 'give me a couple of minutes to think about it.'

'Think on the move' Kennedy told him.

'Easier said than done' Stephen responded, following on behind as Kennedy led off. 'Us male types can't multitask like you females.'

'He uses that excuse not to do housework too' Kennedy told Willow.

'And I provided peer reviewed research to back up the argument' Stephen noted. 'Future and the past' he pondered quietly to himself, now why did that sound so familiar?

'Ooh flaming torches' Jackie said loudly, spotting the first of what turned into a series that led even deeper into the cave, they must have already gone a couple of miles in and the water cut passage through the rocks continued to wind it's way onwards. 'This is like an adventure movie' she said.

'Watch out for huge rocks rolling towards you' Kennedy replied. 'Or really hard smacks around the head for making so much noise' she hissed as Jackie's voice echoed down the passage.

'Sorry' Jackie apologised.

'You always are' Kennedy retorted. 'I want dead quiet from now on.'

'Does that include me?' Willow asked telepathically.

'No and could you include Stephen on this conference call?' Kennedy asked.

'Well I was going to talk dirty but if you don't mind him listening in…' Willow replied. 'Stephen are you there?' she asked.

The watcher nearly jumped out of his skin. 'Bloody hell you scared the crap out of me doing that' he complained.

'Get a grip' Kennedy told him. 'Got an answer yet?' she asked as they followed the row of flaming torches.

'Berith' Stephen answered. 'Phoenician demon that could answer questions on both the past and future' he answered. 'Came to me just before Willow tuned into Travers FM.'

'A Seer demon?' Willow asked.

'Presumably' Stephen replied. 'Could also turn other metal into gold hence the reward I would surmise' he added. 'That's the good news, the bad is that in other mythology he was also a Great Duke of Hell that commanded legions of lesser demons.'

'Well of course he did' Kennedy responded wryly.

The caverns opened up and the group found itself standing before a twenty-feet high red stained limestone statue, plus to everyone's astonishment a trio of quite ordinary looking teenage girls who could have easily been from among their own ranks.

'What the hell is going on here?' Kennedy asked loudly, the three girls having spun to face them as they walked in.

'Who are you?' one of them asked.

'We're the people carrying the weapons that's who we are' Kennedy replied. 'Who are you?' she asked. 'Are they demons in disguise?' she asked turning towards Willow.

'I don't think so' Willow answered, 'but I detect magic' she added. 'You're not doing something really stupid like trying to raise Berith here are you?' she asked, pointing her flashlight at the statue.

'No we were just asking questions' one of the girls replied. 'Something led us to this place months ago, you can ask it questions and it answers you' she said. 'In your head I mean.'

'Bloody hell' Stephen said walking over to them. 'Show me your left hand please' he told one of them.

The girl looked reluctant. 'Do it or I'll beat the crap out of you' Kennedy declared, her tone of voice achieving the desired result.

'Silver ring' Stephen said taking her hand. 'To talk to Berith you've got to wear a silver ring on your finger' he told Kennedy then burst out laughing recognising the verse inscribed on the ring 'First Thessalonians 4: 3-4' he said. 'God wants you to be holy, so you should keep clear of all sexual sin. Then each of you will control your body and live in holiness and honour' he quoted then led the girls hand go. 'Fucking abstinence rings' he said.

'You're shitting me' Kennedy responded.

'Another triumph for Christian Fundamentalism' Stephen joked then his face froze 'Hang on you say you've been coming here months?' he asked with some concern in his voice.

'Yes' the girl answered nodding.

Stephen looked into her eyes. 'Other than ask questions did you by any chance do anything else?' he asked, narrowing his eyes.

'Sometimes if we bought along cheap jewellery it got turned into gold' she told him then paused. 'And he told us if we repeated some words in front of the statue once a week he'd make us like totally rich.'

'Shit' Willow swore. 'I'm betting this isn't good' she opined.

'Berith is a liar unless you ask a direct question' Stephen told them, 'otherwise you can't believe a word he says' he continued. 'According to legend his power peaks in June every year, I'm going to hazard a guess the apocalypse is coming a month later than normal in 2004' he added. 'Can I borrow that ring please?' he asked holding out his hand towards the girl.

The girl nervously slid it off and handed it to him. He slid it onto his little finger as it wouldn't fit on any other and stood before the statue presenting the ring before it. 'Berith' he said. 'Are you going to rise with your Legions?' he asked.

After a few seconds Stephen turned to face Kennedy. 'Cancel your summer vacation' he told her.

Note from the Author:

Needing to wear a Silver Ring to conjure Berith is "accurate" demonology (as is the other stuff about him). The fact that in real life yet another study came out a couple of days ago showing that abstinance-only sex-education doesn't work is a "blessed" coincidence and I laughed my arse off realising how well timed it was :-p . I was going to introduce Berith anyway because of his knowledge of the future (good counterfoil to Illyria knowing it too).