Everything either belongs to Joss or it should, no infringement is intended and no profit is to be made. When you get right down to it I'm not really worth suing anyway unless you want a share of an underpaid civil servants wages and it just wouldn't be worth the hassle trust me.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Hyperion Hotel – Los Angeles – April 2004

Dawn didn't like spending time with Dana, and to be honest neither did Connor, but they were once again having breakfast with her, if only because Connor liked spending time with Drusilla even less and if Dana was about Drusilla invariably wasn't.

To describe Connors first encounter, and indeed the subsequent ones, with Drusilla as awkward and uncomfortable would be to understate things, in much the same sense as it would be to describe Illyria as "self-assured". Vampires were one thing, insane vampires were another, but insane vampires who call you "Baby-Brother" and want to sing you lullabies as they rock you in their arms pretty much maxed out Connors creep-o-meter. The fact he got the impression she wasn't going to bite him didn't help, in fact it might have been easier to deal with if he thought she would, as it was the psychic undead managed to achieve something nearly impossible, Connors memories of being chased through the streets of LA by a thirty foot tall demon just didn't seem so bad anymore.

'You don't look fuzzy today' Dana told Dawn randomly, reaching for her glass of chocolate milk. That different perception of her was of course was the main reason Dawn didn't like spending time with the crazy slayer either. Depending on how long it had been since she took her medication they had learned that Dana could see Dawn was different from other people, as apparently so could Drusilla, it was clearly a sanity thing, or rather a lack thereof. It was something that reminded Dawn that when you came right down to it she wasn't a "real" person, just a construct made by others for a purpose. It distressed her but she had found someone who seemed to understand at last, Connor only existed because of the machinations of a higher power too and it meant she could say things to him she was reluctant to say to others. He was also a good kisser and possibly the only warm blooded teenage boy around that her sister couldn't break in half, both of which were a serious bonus as far as Dawn was concerned.

Faith walked over, dropped her own breakfast tray next to Dana's and sat down, stroking the other girls hair as she did so. Faith wasn't a physical affection kinda girl as a rule but Dana needed the reassurance and she always smiled sweetly when Faith gave her a little hug or something. 'Where's the twins?' she asked, looking around. Deborah and Jessica usually had breakfast with Dana before school and then spent some quality watcher/slayer time with her when they got back.

'Running late' Dana replied. 'Emily is hurrying them up, or trying to' she explained. Giles wasn't returning from until later that day and with him absent the girls were being a pain in the ass to their older sister. He wasn't exactly the strictest parent ever but when he laid down the law and put a bit of his best "Ripper" tones into it the girls damn well obeyed. Emily on the other hand was just their big sister and could be ignored by them with impunity as long as they didn't overstep the mark and drive her to grabbing her siblings by the hair and dragging them to where they were supposed to be. You could usually see that coming though, the expression on her face looked a great deal like when she had grabbed a Harbingers head from behind, pulled it back and slit his throat, if you saw that one it was high time to start doing what you were damn well told.

'Over here Spike' Dawn called out and waved. Spike turned, saw Dawn then frowned when he saw who she was sitting with. He groaned then walked over taking the seat directly across from Dana who glared at him and quietly growled when he sat down. Dawn pushed his morning cup of blended blood over to him and Spike tried to ignore the daggers, or rather stakes, being glared at him across the table as he took his first mouthful.

Connor suddenly grinned. 'You won't believe what Dawn saw this morning' he told everyone.

'I was trying to forget' Dawn responded with a shudder. 'There's some things you just don't want to think about.'

Spike swallowed. 'Come on Knibblet, don't keep it to yourself' he told her.

Dawn sighed. 'Okay so I got up early…' she began.

'You're right I don't believe it' Spike interrupted with a grin.

'So I got up early' Dawn repeated, ignoring him, 'and guess who I ran into sneaking out of somebody else's room buttoning their shirt and looking guilty and nervous?'

Faith grinned. 'Hell this is better than I thought it was going to be' she responded.

Dawn grimaced. 'Trust me you're better off not knowing' she counselled.

'We'll be the judge of that' Spike told her.

'Okay but I gave you fair warning' Dawn told them. 'It was Stirling sneaking out of the Guardians room, I think she decided to give him a proper send-off before he went to the Pylean War or something.'

'Awww' Faith moaned and stuck out her tongue. 'I didn't want to think about old people having sex.'

Spike snorted. 'I'm old enough to be his bleeding Grandfather' he pointed out.

'Yeah but you don't look it' Connor told him.

'They don't even like each other' Faith noted. 'Although thinking about it sometimes that makes the sex better' she added before wincing. 'Oh Christ the wrinklies are getting more action than I am' she said despondently, 'I've got to get some shallow, meaningless screwing in quick before I end up losing what's left of my Rep' she continued. 'This one's already cornered my old "Psycho-Slayer" schtick' she said indicating Dana who did take offence merely smiling in response. Dana knew she wasn't quite right, she also knew that Faith really cared about her and was just being honest not malicious.

'Don't even think about saying it Connor' Dawn told him, narrowing her eyes as he opened his mouth to jokingly volunteer.

Connor closed his mouth quickly then shrugged. 'Sorry' he apologised to Faith. 'I was willing to help out a friend, but you know' he continued, 'she's the possessive type' he told her, half nodding towards Dawn.

'You'd better believe it boy' Dawn told him, 'don't cross me' she warned.

Spike took another swig of his blood. 'She's scared the crap out of me before' he advised Connor. 'I've never heard a threat made better in my life, and I knew your Dad when he was evil, so I know a bloody good threat when I hear one.'

'Keeps you on a short leash does she?' Faith joked as Dawn gave Connor a quick peck on the cheek.

'No you're thinking of my Dad and his Girlfriend' Connor joked.

Spike laughed along with the others then suddenly stopped as a line popped into his head. 'Hey you realise what this means' he said. 'With Stirling I mean.'

'No?' Faith replied quizzically.

''She's not lost the knack' Spike said then paused for effect. 'Medousa can still make a man rigid' he deadpanned before cracking up entirely and setting off everyone else.

Great Northern Forest – Pylea – April 2004

Denise stood with a few of the others as the new arrivals trooped out of the open portal, carrying crates of supplies and wearing wide-eyed expressions. 'Oh for Christ's sake' she exclaimed. 'They look fucking twelve' she moaned as she weighed up the new batch of volunteers from the slayer ranks back home. They all looked so out of place in their crisp new uniforms and nice haircuts, the slayers that had been on Pylea for three months didn't look anywhere near as presentable, they had been living in the same three sets of identical clothes in constant rotation since early January and both their own uniforms and themselves had been washing in the local river all that time.

'You all look fucking twelve' Ashton interjected from behind them. 'Why do you think I haven't been screwing any of you?' he asked with a grin.

Denise smirked. 'Some say it's because you're being professional, majority opinion is that you're gay' she deadpanned.

'If there's one mistake I'm not going to repeat with the rookies it's teaching them backchat' Ashton responded sadly. 'It took me years in the army to get to the stage I'd talk to NCO's like that.'

'We've got two weeks to teach them bad habits before most of us ship back and some of the girls are staying' she reminded him. 'We'll have them drinking, cursing and making your life difficult in no time Caporal-Chef.'

Ashton snorted. 'Oh yeah that sounds attractive' he said sarcastically, 'And you actually think I'm only not screwing you because I'm gay?'

'Hey I'm in the minority that thinks you're just professional and dedicated' Denise told him with a chuckle. 'Okay last ones coming through' she added as Illyria and another woman stepped through the portal.

Ashton straightened up. 'Okay now she's new' he said checking out the blond who emerged from the portal alongside the bluehead. She was wearing the same camouflage uniform as the slayers but somehow seemed to look a lot more stylish and attractive in it.

'Oh shit' one of the other girls exclaimed recognising her. 'You've got to be kidding, not her, why would they bring her?' she asked with a groan.

'In the dark here Luce' Ashton told the girl.

Lucy grimaced. 'You went to Val ha'nesh a couple of times didn't you, weapons training with the stuff we couldn't really take to the local gun-range?' she asked. 'You met Ben right?'

'Miserable whiny bastard, supposed to be possessed by a demon, took him over sometimes?' Ashton queried.

'Not a demon, a Hellgod' Lucy corrected him, 'Glory'. 'That's her' she told him, shaking her head in amazement 'There was a story they were going to try and split them apart, maybe they pulled it off?' she hypothesised.

'She's a God?' Ashton asked, staring at her.

'In the flesh' Lucy replied. 'Kinda like Illyria but without the being on our side thing going for her, you should have seen what the bitch did to Buffy before Super-Smurf stepped in and cleaned her clock' she told him. Lucy had been one of the original potentials that were turned in Sunnydale and sometimes regaled the newer recruits with stories of the fight against the First. One thing it did give her was perspective, after facing off against a couple of thousand Turok'Han most other demons looked like complete wimps.

Glory looked around. 'You're not serious, you're not actually fighting for this piece of crap dimension are you?' she said loudly, looking around. 'This place makes Earth look halfway acceptable' Glory declared, 'and I could have crapped a better plane of existence than that' she stated. 'And what the hell are you looking at?' she asked the mercenary.

Ashton couldn't think of a damn thing to say and eventually Glory rolled her eyes and turned to Illyria, asking her something, her blond curls almost seemed to bounce as she turned. She wasn't the most stunning sight he'd ever experienced but he had once been in a room when a stun grenade went off so that wasn't a black mark against Glory by any means.

Lucy snapped her fingers in front of his face. 'He's like totally zoned out' she said.

The mercenary blinked and finally took a breath. 'Hallelujah Sisters' he declared. 'I think I just got religion' Ashton announced happily.

Shopping Mall – Los Angeles – April 2004

Giles had returned from Cleveland early enough to pick the girls up from school so he had foolishly decided to do so. Somehow, he suspected it was some form of hypnosis or spell, the twins had talked him into taking them to this monument to decadent American capitalism and now after being dragged around various stores and outlets he was in a fast food restaurant contemplating an oversized cheeseburger which looked a great deal more appetising on the picture on the wall than it did in real life.

After answering numerous questions from Emily regarding how Stephen looked, and was he looking after himself, and did he say he missed her, Giles was beginning to wish he'd stayed in Cleveland for a while longer. He hadn't realised how many hours a day the girls seemed to absorb of his time until he spent some time on the nice, quiet relaxing Hellmouth on the other side of the country.

'I was under the impression that you spent the better part of an hour a day, every day, on the telephone to Stephen' Giles told Emily. 'How can you not know everything that's been happening to the boy?' he asked reasonably he thought.

Emily pouted. 'It's not the same as seeing him' she replied.

'Well what about that webcam gadget?' Giles asked. 'You get to see each other of that don't you?'

'It's not the same as seeing him in real life' Emily countered.

'Can we get an icecream?' Jessica interrupted.

'Not until you finish your…' Giles began. 'What on Earth happened to your food?' he quickly asked in confusion looking at the empty wrappers and boxes in front of them.

'We ate it' Deborah told him.

'Ate it?' Giles repeated. 'You must have absorbed it' he responded incredulously. It didn't make any sense, the sheer volume of food involved compared to the size of the two twelve year old girls made the notion they could have eaten it all that fast simply impossible, nothing ate like that unless it was a God-King, or possibly a lookalike physicist. 'Oh go on then' he said reaching for his wallet, 'get yourself some icecream' he told them. 'You too?' he asked Emily.

'I'll get myself a piece of fruit' Emily replied.

'You're not on a diet are you?' Giles asked, he didn't like the idea of young girls on diets, he'd seen too many stories about anorexic girls on the television.

'No' Emily replied. 'I just wanted a piece of fruit' she replied. 'Why you don't think I need to go on a diet do you?' she asked quickly.

Giles shook his head. 'Don't be silly' he told her and handed over a few notes checking the denominations. You had to be so careful with US Dollars, back home all the banknotes were different sizes and colours which made accidentally doubling one of your daughter's pocket money, or as they said here "allowance", because you were in a rush much less likely.

As they headed towards the dessert counter it suddenly occurred to Giles that he had actually just thought of the girls as being his daughters, bloody hell that one snuck up on me he thought with surprise.

'Three girls?' a woman's voice commented. 'You must rue coming to the Mall' she added with a chuckle. 'I've only got one and it's bad enough.'

Giles looked up from his gradually diminishing burger and found himself facing a smiling dark haired woman in perhaps her late thirties and wearing a badge that said she was the restaurant manager. He swallowed quickly and smiled back, 'Worse than you think' he said. 'I've actually got five' he told her. He certainly had parental feelings towards Dawn and Buffy even if they weren't his legal responsibility like Emily and the twins. 'The other two have jobs and can pay for their own frivolous purchases though which is a great relief on my bank balance' he joked.

'Five?' the woman, her badge said her name was Claire, repeated in shock. 'Were you and your wife trying for a boy?' she asked.

Giles laughed. 'I've never married' he said. 'None of the girls are really mine, at least not biologically' he told her. 'I adopted the three sisters over there after their parents passed away in an accident, I was a close friend of the family' he lied, 'and the other two older girls are also sisters, though unrelated to the trio, who I've been trying to look after since their own mother died' he told her. 'I just keep collecting girls' he declared with a smile. If you really wanted to stretch things you could say he had about two thousand of them he thought with amusement.

'Oh' the woman replied then paused. 'I was about to say the twins took after you' she admitted and giggled.

Giles laughed. 'You're not the only person to say that' he said. 'If their father was still around he would have probably beaten me up by now' he joked. 'Rupert Giles by the way' he said making sure to wipe his hand clean on a napkin before standing up and offering it to shake.

'Claire Moore' she replied taking it.

'I know from the badge' Giles told her. 'I never know whether to look at those or not' he observed. 'I'm sure I'm going to get slapped one day for looking at a woman's chest too intently just because I've left my glasses somewhere and I'm trying to read her name.'

'Well it's a good alibi anyhow' she replied with a smile. She was really quite attractive Giles decided.

'I've been saving it just in case' Giles told her. 'So how old is your girl?' he asked.

'Nine' she replied. 'Yours?' she asked.

'Twelve, Twelve, Fifteen, Seventeen and Twenty-Three' Giles replied. 'And astonishingly not one of them was ever mine at age nine' he told her. 'I just seem to be burdened with more than my fair share of the teenage years' he stated. 'You and your husband didn't want more than one?' he asked. 'A wise decision incidentally.'

'I'm not married either' she replied, 'divorce in my case, we broke up a year after our little girl was born.'

'Well if you'll forgive the presumptuousness of a stranger I'm certain the man was a bloody fool to let you go' Giles told her chivalrously.

Later that night as he decided what film he was going to take her to Giles decided that he himself had been a bloody fool for not realising what a great way to meet women being a single father with daughters could be. You could even get them to babysit the woman's own child which was simply too convenient for words.

Great Northern Forest – Pylea – April 2004

'Got to be better than half a Legion of the bastards down there' Wes stated, lowering his binoculars and squatting back behind the thick scrub on the edge of the forest. 'Too many of them to try taking them out until now but with nearly a hundred slayers on the ground, and the new gear, we should be able to give them a nasty surprise.'

Stirling raised his own binoculars. 'They haven't got a bloody clue how to set up a perimeter' he commented. 'Are you certain on your numbers for the Wolfram and Hart presence?' he asked. 'Those mercenary chaps I mean' he added, continuing to size up the layout of the large encampment.

'Had the place under surveillance for nearly a month' Wesley replied. 'If there's more than a dozen in there I'd be very much surprised' he told the older watcher. 'They've been training some of the less racially supremacist demon types in how to act under fire, we've been watching them' he continued. 'Pity really' he opined, 'it's much more difficult to shoot them if they duck instead of scream defiance at you.'

'You wouldn't believe how many demons we've taken out that way' Vi interjected. 'I swear to God they just stand there in the open, bullets flying everywhere, as if they're begging you to put a round through them' she stated.

'Weaponry?' Stirling asked, lowering his binoculars and turning to face Wesley.

'As for the demons, swords, axes, clubs and a few crossbows' Wesley answered, 'the latter are fairly powerful, best not to underestimate their range or effectiveness they'll certainly got through the girls chain-mail' he advised. 'As for the mercenaries they tend to carry a mix of assault rifles, sub-machineguns and sniper rifles which we assume is down to personal preference and country of origin. Wolfram and Hart have got Special Ops people here from all their major offices back on Earth.'

Stirling stretched his muscles and fought back a wince, bad show to show weakness in front of the other ranks. It had been a decent hike to get here and he was going to be bloody sore tomorrow, his feet were absolutely killing him despite letting the slayers carry all his personal equipment. Definitely time to stop acting like I'm only a bloody sixty year old, Stirling decided sadly.

Vi put her hand to her ear. 'All units in position' she announced.

'Right then' Stirling responded reaching into the pocket of his camouflage pattern combat jacket and pulling out a faded Red Beret which he pulled onto his head, the much polished brass Parachute Regiment badge on the front catching the light. 'Let's give the evil buggers a damn good thrashing shall we' he declared enthusiastically.

Wesley grinned and switched on his radio headset. 'Some wrath is in order I feel' he said. 'Perhaps some Fire and Brimstone to start with' he suggested.

'Fire and Brimstone coming up' a voice in his headset replied.

Two miles to the west Denise turned to her people, 'You all heard the man' she told them. 'Let's see how good these fancy new rounds are' she suggested brightly as the two slayers crewing the mortar opened the first crate of ammunition and held up a silvery-grey mortar bomb with both a red and a blue stripe painted around it and more strangely a pentagram superimposed on top of them.

'I still don't think this is going to work' the girl holding the round stated doubtfully as she prepared to fire it, holding the round over the top of the tube ready to drop it in.

'If it doesn't we'll just go back to good old fashioned white-phosphorus' Denise replied. 'Bet you fifty bucks it does though' she added.

'You're on' the slayer replied and dropped the round into the tube where it slid down, fell onto the firing pin which set off the propellant charge and sent the mortar bomb hurtling off into the distance with a deafening "crump" noise.

Using a laser rangefinder they had already properly aimed the mortar and the round sailed through the air in a huge arc before landing just off-centre in the middle of the camp. It did not however explode, at least not in the conventional sense.

As soon as a small charge in the mortar bomb detonated, cracking the steel case, a bright red fireball bloomed for an instant them coalesced into a dozen smaller fireballs which shot off in different directions and headed straight for the most powerful demons in the vicinity.

Back in the original timeline Illyria, or rather then still the shell, had developed with Knox and Wesley a techno-mystical hybrid stun-grenade that contained a neural-disruptive spell. It hadn't actually worked due to a mechanical fault but the core enchantment worked flawlessly and that wasn't the only kind of spell it could contain. Illyria had resurrected the idea and given it to Fred and Knox to work one, add in some creative thinking, one of Willow's better cluster-fireball spells and you had the basis for something that was simply awesome, mortar rounds with mystical payloads.

The fireballs slammed into the first dozen extremely surprised demons and disintegrated both them and any other poor unfortunates stood within a few yards of them. The weapon proved the mortar fired the other four test rounds in quick succession and before the last self-guiding fireball had turned an eight-foot tall demon to ash it started to rain high-explosives and normal incendiary rounds all over the camp.

'They're definitely learning' Wesley said with regret as he watched the unfolding mayhem from his position. The demons weren't just running around like headless chickens like they did the first time they encountered mortar fire, they were throwing themselves in trenches that had been dug all over the camp and riding out the firestorm of explosions and flame as the bombs landed one after another, a full thirty rounds in all before the mortar ceased fire.

Everything went quiet for a few minutes, some of the demons got out of their trenches and began to look around nervously, surveying the damage.

'They've still got a lot to learn though' Wesley noted wryly as another five rounds crashed in, set to airburst just above the ground and catching a number of the demons who had already got up in the open, ripping them apart with red-hot steel shrapnel.

'Nice to see the old tricks still work' Stirling told Wesley. 'Means there might even be hope for me' he added.

'Demons' Wesley replied. 'Long on strength, short on brains' he opined. 'Rika please feel free to try out your new toy but please remember the ammunition is ludicrously expensive' he reminded the slayer.

'One clip' the South African slayer replied over the radio.

'That thing is just fucking ridiculous' the slayer laying on the ground next to Rika declared. 'If you were a guy I'd say you were compensating for something.'

Rika ignored her and sighted through the scope on the drastically oversized rifle. Most snipers used a weapon chambered in 7.62mm NATO, in some armies that was being supplemented by far larger .50 Calibre (12.5mm) so-called "anti-material" rifles such as the infamous Barrett M107/M82 which had even achieved notoriety in popular culture being seen in many films and computer games.

The slayer smiled as she aimed her 25mm Barrett XM109, the rifle that pissy little fifty-calibres wanted to be when they grew up. You could blow a hole in an inch and a half of armoured plate at half a mile with this thing, the only drawback was that after testing they found the recoil to be "beyond human tolerance" which limited sales interest more than a little. Fortunately for Rika she didn't have to worry about being merely human, all she needed was something worth shooting at.

A large Chirago Demon that must have been pushing six-hundred and fifty pounds in weight found itself in Rika's gunsights, the slayer squeezed the trigger and the semi-automatic rifle slammed back into her shoulder as a round which size meant it was technically light artillery tore across the battlefield and promptly blew a football sized hole right through the Demons torso nearly blowing it in half as it blew out its ribcage and spine.

Rika told the rifle in Afrikaans she was going to call it Joachim after her great, great grandfather who had been a sharpshooter in the Second War of Independence against the British, what they called the Second Boer War, and then she started looking for something else to shoot at as the other slayers started to move towards the camp.

Vi had left Wesley and Stirling and sprinted down to the line of slayers that were preparing to advance, some of the girls were putting down suppressive fire but with the opposition dug in they were going to have to get in there to clear them out. 'Alright Gunslayers' she yelled. 'You know the drill' she told them. 'We're getting up close and personal' she continued then gave the nod to Ashton who was waiting for her to give the order since she was technically the officer here.

Ashton took a deep breath. 'FIX BAYONETS' he ordered and snapped his own into place as around eighty slayers, half of whom had never done this before for real did likewise.

'Oh God, oh God, oh God' one of the new arrivals started saying over and over again, her hands trembling as she gripped her carbine assault rifle.

'Jailbait get her to shut the hell up' Vi ordered, Charlottes nickname had well and truly stuck.

'Piece of advice newbie' Charlotte told the girl. 'If you're worried about saving your immortal soul pray to Jesus before you pick up your rifle' she said. 'If you're already in the shit, and you need someone to save your ass, you want to be looking for a different Deity for some help' she advised and pointed off to the left.

The newly arrived slayer turned the direction Charlotte indicated and her eyes widened as Illyria stepped up to join the line, she had been watching the mortar strikes with interest but if there was going to be some decent violence the God-King wanted in. Illyria held a pair of five-foot long broadswords, one in each hand rested back against her shoulders and she was grinning viciously, the twin swords, metallic blue for part of their length gleaming in the twin suns of Pylea.

'I want to see plenty of gratuitous violence once they get up and start fighting' Vi ordered. 'Don't close right up unless you have to, remember our guns reach further than their swords' she joked then started to psyche herself up, putting her normally sweet reserved personality even further back in her mind.

Ashton tensed up his muscles ready to go, they'd easily outdistance him once they launched the attack but he didn't want to end up embarrassingly far behind. 'What makes the grass grow?' he bellowed at the top of his lungs.

'Blood, blood, blood' half the girls yelled back.

'I can't hear you' Ashton shouted. 'What makes the grass grow?' he called out again.

'Blood, blood, blood' all the girls replied as loudly as they could, even Illyria joined in.

Vi pulled back the cocking lever on her rifle, as did the others in a battery of metallic echoes that spread down the line. 'GUNSLAYERS' she practically screamed. 'CHARGE!' she ordered and started running, eighty teenage girls, one thirty year-old mercenary and a blue haired Demon God who measured her age in epochs following her lead, the latter just because she chose to do so.

To any casual observer it would have all looked pretty exciting, but it did get messy when the eight hundred or so remaining demons surged out of their trenches to meet them head on.

Note from the Author:

This fanfic launches bayonet charges on reviews :-p