Chapter 16: Oceans

Oh how I hope that you're happy
I hear you're somewhere in the sand
and how I wish I was an ocean
Oh no
how I hope that you're happy
I hear you're somewhere in the sand
you know I wish I was an ocean
Maybe then,
I'd get to see you again
I'd get to see you again…

--Oceans The Format.

"James" Lily spoke clearly her words were cool and soft, and they weren't meant to sound brash in the least bit. "Who is Emily? A-and why was she flirting with you?" Lily asked and sighed looking up into his soft and yet startled eyes. Startled, not a good sign. She thought and her eyebrows rose involuntarily. "James—do you like her?" Lily asked meeting his gaze once more—her eyes scrutinized over every small detail his eyes portrayed to her.

"Lily what do you want me to tell you—I don't like her not now—" Lily cut him off.

"But you used to like her?" Lily asked her words falling like sheets of ice, she slowly began disentangling her legs from his, as well as pushing away from him. In that moment the green embers of her jealousy began to kindle themselves into a new fire, a new fully fledged jealousy.

"It doesn't matter—but I know it was all a mistake!" James gulped as he spoke to her, the words flooded through her like sheets of icy rain ripping apart the lies she had put upon a pedestal.

"What happened James? Hmm? What was the mistake? Meeting your old fling, or whatever she is—or perhaps this whole mess in general was the mistake!" Lily was now standing; in an instant she unclasped the necklace as she pushed herself off the bed, dropping it beside him. Tears welling in her eyes, "You know, don't answer any of that! I don't want to know—I'm sorry this didn't work out." She spoke softly now, and quickly grabbed and pulled on her nearby crinkled shirt and a small pouch of money off of her beside table.

"Good bye James" Lily whispered as she got to the entrance hall, quickly pulling her jacket off of its hook she opened the front door and ran outside into the cold. She didn't care that she was barefooted or wearing a shirt that was too tight for her own good—and not to mention a nightgown. She stuck her wand arm out as she ran down the walk her feet hitting the snow covered walk. She could hear someone calling her name over and over, but she didn't turn back, she didn't care. Or at least, she pretended that she didn't care. As the night but appeared she thrust the money into Stan's, (Stan, the driver of the night bus was a middle aged balding man, who sometimes walked as slowly as a snail in hardened glue) hand and told him where to stop quickly running to the back of the bus and into a seat. Looking out of the window towards the Potter's house she could see James running towards the bus.

"Go! Just Go!" She yelled to Stan and noticed that he was walking awfully slowly. Was he stalling on purpose? Lily thought and looking up she noticed that James jumped onto the bus…he was looking around trying to find her, he quickly handed Stan the fee and continued his search.

"Lily" James called out and walked closer to her, she closed her eyes and tried to ignore him, it was just too hard. The tears began to trickle down her face. "Lily," he spoke once more as he made his way over to her sitting next to her. "Lily, I don't love her okay, I love you. I've always loved you." James spoke softly—even as he spoke Lily could feel even more of her tears steam down her cheeks.

"James, what the bloody hell happened between you two?" And don't even think of bloody lying to me! You know I'm good at potions and I'm afraid to—"

"Use it on me? I know, you gave some to Sirius back in fourth year!" James shrugged his shoulder and sighed.

"What happened?" Lily asked, her teeth clenched.