Everything either belongs to Joss or it should, no infringement is intended and no profit is to be made. When you get right down to it I'm not really worth suing anyway unless you want a share of an underpaid civil servants wages and it just wouldn't be worth the hassle trust me.

CHAPTER THIRTY

Hyperion Hotel – Los Angeles – June 2004

Cordelia needless to say got in her response quicker than the ever laconic Angel who merely looked at Wesley like he had clearly lost what was left of his mind. 'You cheated on Illyria?' she said incredulously, 'Illyria!' she repeated. 'With Faith?' she continued. 'Faith?!'

Wesley frowned. 'That depends on what your definition of "cheated" is' he replied.

'Who are you?' Cordelia asked sarcastically, 'Bill Clinton?' she continued. 'Are we heading for "I did not have sexual relations with that psychotic slayer" or some shit like that?'

'Well I didn't' Wesley replied evenly. 'And before you ask your inevitable follow-up question yes I do regard getting a blow job as sex' he told her. 'I hadn't even kissed Faith until the day Berith showed up' he added. 'And that wasn't exactly planned or anything, I'd just gone evil and assaulted her.'

'Jesus Christ Wes' Cordelia blasphemed, 'she probably thought that was foreplay.'

Wesley looked away, he had only just arrived back on a flight from Cleveland and he honestly didn't need this kind of interrogation but no sooner had he got through the door when Angel and Cordelia had collared him and dragged him to a room to find out his side of the story after hearing Willow's version already. 'Not unless she considers attempted rape a come-on' he said quietly.

'What?' Angel exclaimed, finally breaking his silence. Willow had left this part out considering it Faith and Wesley's business to tell people if they wanted.

'When the aura coming from the Hellmouth turned me evil I didn't just beat Faith up I was going to force myself on her' Wesley explained, guilt and more than a fair degree of self-loathing dripping from his words. 'She disabled me before I could' he continued. 'The way she did it broke the hold the power had over me and it was while I was lying there wanting to throw up, and not because of the physical pain, that she kissed me' he said. 'I honestly had no idea she had feelings for me too' he told them.

Cordelia blinked. 'So let me get this straight' she said slowly. 'You tried to rape the woman who once tortured you and somehow this turned into romance' she queried. 'What the fuck is wrong with you?' she asked rhetorically, her voice starting to rise. 'You've already got a girl, okay not exactly a conventional relationship' she admitted, 'but compared to the fucked-up Jerry-Springer-on-acid bullshit of you and Faith it's practically wholesome' she declared. 'Was dating a vengeance-fuelled sociopathic Demon-God not masochistic enough for your tastes?' she asked. 'Missed some of that old Lilah style twisted relationship crap did you?'

'I don't bloody know' Wesley replied honestly. 'My feelings about Faith just seemed to sneak up on me' he said. 'I didn't even fall out of love with Illyria at the same time which makes it feel worse because I've hurt her so much and my guts are all twisted up, and I can't think straight… and I just want to stop thinking about it all and go kill something' he declared, Illyria had definitely rubbed off on him he realised.

Angel crossed his arms. 'Which brings us to what might be the most insane thing going on here' he said. 'What on Earth do you think Illyria is going to do?' he asked. 'She's not above killing both of you because of the slight to her dignity, if nothing else, add in the woman scorned issue and she might kill you both slowly' he suggested.

'If she lost her cool and just slapped you she might take your damn head off' Cordelia told Wesley. 'You can't cross someone that takes a grudge like she does' she continued. 'I can be a vicious bitch sometimes but she's at a whole other level.'

'Even if she had the self control not to kill you, Faith could be living on borrowed time' Angel interjected. 'From what Willow told us she was slightly surprised Illyria didn't rip Faith's spine out straight away.'

'A year ago I think she would have, if simply because she regards me as property Faith was trying to steal' Wesley replied. 'You might not think so, and she would hate to think so, but Illyria has developed emotionally, though of course she'd think of it as having further degenerated' he said. 'Which is not to say she's any less dangerous, in some ways she might be less stable than she was and not in terms of the shell' he continued. 'Her Old One side can be violent and vicious but at a basic level it's more rational and calculating too' he told them. 'It's probably a good thing she is aware of this and left to go calm down because my guess is that the demon part is frankly the more reasonable in these circumstances' he suggested. 'Which is not to say that calm, calculating Illyria won't decide upon a course of action based on homicide' he added. 'As you can surmise I spent a great deal of time on the plane thinking about this.'

Cordelia looked to heaven, or rather the ceiling. 'So what do we do about that?' she asked. 'If Illyria goes mental I mean.'

'We can't let her kill Wesley or Faith which is a problem because if she decides to that might be difficult to prevent' Angel replied evenly. 'Faith has her scythe but even with a weapon powerful enough to cause Illyria damage we still can't do anything about the time thing' he said. 'It's too much of an edge in combat.'

'The Mutari Generator' Wesley replied. 'It's the only thing we have that can stop Illyria but that has consequences all it's own because the only thing that keeps Glory in line, and now gives us a hope to match Berith I suppose, is a fully powered-up Old One' he noted.

'You do know the sensible course of action would be to end any relationship with Faith before it starts right?' Angel told him.

Cordelia nodded. 'I'm all for love' she said, 'assuming it is love and you're not just going though some late blooming adolescent crush or just lusting after the girl, but as your friend, even if Illyria wasn't an issue I'd be telling you right now… you cannot get into a relationship with Faith' she declared loudly. 'It's downright twisted, verging on sick' she told him. 'What's next? Are you going to track down that girl you used to keep chained in a closet and ask if she wants to go steady?' she asked sardonically. 'Ignoring the torture, attempted rape and all the other personal baggage, you're her watcher, if would be like Giles screwing Buffy' he stated.

'Another mental image I didn't need' Angel responded, 'thanks for that' he told Cordelia.

Wesley was going to respond that Faith wasn't really his slayer and never had been but the problem was he didn't really believe it. Part of him had always thought of himself as Faith's watcher and always would. In that way even he thought such a relationship with Faith was intrinsically wrong but deep down he wanted to be with here and based on his conversation with Faith it seemed that she wanted to be with him too though what the attraction was from her perspective mystified him. 'I know it's wrong' he admitted, 'I know that being with Illyria is the best solution' he continued, 'bloody hell I even want to be with Illyria' he told them, 'there's just something missing there' he said. 'I don't know if it's a soul or what the hell it is but being with Illyria leaves a void I can't explain' he said. 'She said it could be pheromones, and maybe it is something as stupid as that, but regardless that's how I feel.'

'At the risk of getting an "Eww" out of Cordelia but she might have a point about the pheromones' Angel responded. 'Illyria has a unique scent which you people might not pick up on but Spike, Connor and I do' he said. 'It's demony.'

'So he's risking death and dismemberment because Faith smells good to him' Cordelia responded. 'Christ I'll drag Smurfette to the perfume counter and we'll try them one at a time until you're satisfied' she told Wesley, rolling her eyes.

Wesley couldn't help but smile at Cordelia's delivery of the line, nobody else could put that much scorn and venom into a few words, only Lilah came close in his experience. 'Illyria's other suggestion was that subconsciously I might want children and she can't oblige' he said. 'It is a very primal urge' he added.

'Adopt' Cordelia snapped back. 'I don't think breeding with Faith is a good idea anyhow' she continued, 'certainly not for the kids.'

'I don't know, all we'd need to do is for me to do the opposite of my father, her do the opposite of her mother and we'd make fantastic parents' Wesley replied, his smile widening slightly. 'Thinking of my father do you think he'd be more or less happy if he found out I was screwing my slayer instead of a demon' he joked. 'I'd definitely need someone there with a video camera to record his expression when he found out' he said.

'Well it's a good thing you're not going to have to rely on your inheritance money for income anyway' Angel observed wryly, unable not to smile too.

'I don't know if you want my advice Wesley but you're going to get it anyway' Cordelia told him. 'Go back to Illyria, say you're sorry and give her flowers, or the spine of someone from Wolfram and Hart, whichever you think will work best, and never think of trying to have a relationship with Faith again' she told him. 'It'll bring heartache, or maybe a ripped out heart, if you don't' she advised.

'It's not just you that'll face the consequences of the wrong decision here Wes' Angel noted, 'or even just you, faith and Illyria' he continued. 'We'll all be potentially effected by the fall-out from this I hope you realise that?'

'I know' Wesley affirmed.

'You know this is one of those time's where you being the guy that takes the hard decisions would come in handy' Angel told him. 'You know, the one's where you do the right thing regardless of what the consequences are to you.'

Wesley thought about Angel's words. 'Screw that' he said eventually. 'In any case from my perspective neither alternative seems overwhelmingly positive.'

Cordelia looked thoughtful. 'Have you considered the third option?' she asked.

'Suicide?' Wesley responded with a chuckle.

'Not that drastic' Cordelia told him. 'Dump Illyria, don't take up with Faith and we'll find a nice sane human girl for you' she told him. 'Anne that runs the shelter is kinda cute' she suggested from the top of her head.

'I think Gunn has a thing for her already' Wesley replied. 'And wouldn't that just mean that two different women with a penchant for violence and a track record of homicide have a grudge against me?' he asked reasonably.

'Yes but then you wouldn't be forcing everybody to take sides between Illyria and Faith' Angel told him, playing along with Cordelia. 'Politically it's a better result.'

'No as decisions go that's too hard' Wesley told them. 'My martyr complex must be slipping' he said apologetically.

Apparently he wasn't the only person having these kinds of conversations because later on Wesley came across Faith being confronted by Dana in the corridor. It took massive willpower not to break out into laughter at the expression on Faith's face when Dana advised her she knew that she herself was insane but that even she wasn't crazy enough to try and steal Illyria's boyfriend. That was the kind of rank lunacy they gave you Electro-Convulsive-Therapy for back at the Mental Hospital Dana told Faith seriously.

Part of Wesley couldn't help but agree with the sentiment.

Wolfram and Hart Building – Los Angeles – June 2004

Lilah couldn't help but be impressed by the effortless intimidation as Berith made his way slowly around the table speaking on the move, walking behind the ranks of the Circle of the Black Thorn with each of them visibly flinching as he passed them by. All it really needed extra was for him to be carrying a baseball bat and espousing on the benefits of teamwork.

'Let's face it, you all got lazy and sloppy over the years' Berith stated, 'and so did the entire Wolf, Ram and Hart organisation after all those centuries challenged by nothing but some aging Limey's, a teenage girl and the Powers That Be Impotent' he declared. 'All it took was for one of my people with a grudge, some imagination and the backing of a few slayers to bring the whole edifice to its knees' he said, shaking his finger chidingly, 'and I hope you're all ashamed of yourselves' he told them.

Izzerial fought back an urge to give the bastard a mouthful of invective, the idea that he would be lectured in this way, told off like a wayward human child was beyond insulting and it was only the realisation that the Lord of the Covenant was trying to provoke them that stayed his tongue. 'One might wonder why someone didn't see it all coming' he said instead.

Berith smiled, 'Okay fair point I'll give you that one' he responded. 'Perhaps I have lost some of my edge too' he admitted. 'It's been a very long time since I tangled with any being with the force of will, and the ability to screw over destiny as much as my erstwhile relative has managed since her arrival' he said. 'Of course if I hadn't been out of town she wouldn't have done this well' he added.

'It is not just the Old One' Cyvus Vail interjected. 'The Witch Willow Rosenberg is a mage not to be taken lightly.'

Berith stopped pacing and took his seat at the top of the table with Lilah to his right. 'Yes I heard on the grapevine that she kicked your ass' he responded. 'I've also met her since, only a couple of days ago just after I arrived back on this world as it happens and I can see why you might be intimidated.'

'Our financial and personnel losses have been considerable in the last year' Ed the Leader of the Fell Brethren noted, others nodding their agreement. 'While Illyria and the slayers have grown ever stronger, with greater and greater numbers and an increasing arsenal of weapons we have inexorably lost ground' he said. 'Many of our own allies and associates have either fled this dimension, given up activities the opposition object to or in many cases they have been simply wiped out.'

'Which goes the core of the problem' Berith replied. 'Our side, or should I say your side because as you are all no doubt aware, after the supposedly secret pre-meeting briefing from Hamilton which I was supposed not to know about, I'm on my own side in this' he continued, 'is hopelessly split between back-stabbing competing factions' he stated, 'not of course that I'm in much of a position to criticise without being damn hypocritical' he said. 'They have a unity of purpose and a mission' Berith declared, 'you people would sell out anybody else in this room to save your own ass or to make a quick buck' he said. 'For shame' he said trying not to laugh. Yes there was no doubt about it, he decided, the shell had indeed been an asshole.

'So what are you going to do about it?' Vail asked.

'Well given that making you better people is beyond even my power the obvious solution is to make them worse ones' Berith replied. 'Or failing that I guess I'll just have to bust some heads myself because you've proved miserable failures at it.'

'Why not simply kill the slayers?' Ed asked. 'You have the ability to match a whole team of them.'

'I guess Hamilton left out some of the story' Berith replied. 'I don't you to win either' he explained. 'Ripping the spines out of a few teenage girls would be a trip but it's not the best move for me' he continued. 'I'll level the playing field and counterbalance their Old One but beyond that I'm just here to spend a few millennia chilling out' he told them. 'I might take up a hobby' he said. The shell had liked playing tennis but Berith doubted his supersonic service game would make that enough of a challenge to be worthwhile, although thinking about it maybe if he could get some rackets enchanted maybe Illyria might be up for a match?

'I thought you Old One's were only interested in violence and conquest?' Izzerial commented.

'I went through that phase' Berith replied. 'Eventually you realise it's not worth all the effort, my goal now is survival, I plan to outlast everything else in the universe.'

'Why?' Vail asked.

'Because it beats the shit out of the alternative' Berith told him with a grin. 'But don't go thinking I'm just all hedonism and self-preservation' he continued, 'you can take the Hellgod out of the Primordium but you can't take the Primordium out of the Hellgod' he told them. 'I'll still fight for what's mine and I'm sure as shit not a coward as any of you bastards that ever tries to cross me will find out' he promised.

'You would match your pitiful number of Legions against mine' Sebassis responded.

'In a heartbeat but not until after I flayed you alive and turned your skin into a battleflag' Berith told him his crystalline red eyes seeming to glow in anticipation at the prospect. 'I am impressed by the fact you managed to get your troops to accept the sense of using human weaponry though, kudos for that but it was more the idea of Ms. Morgan here to be honest' he said. 'I'll be taking over operations on Pylea from now on and I'll be borrowing some of your forces as well as having my own portalled in.'

'The Wolf, Ram and Hart themselves ceded that world and its resources to my control' Sebassis retorted angrily.

'Despite what they thought it wasn't theirs to hand over' Berith told him coldly, injecting some of the icy tones that Lilah had heard Illyria use into his inflection. 'If you want to fight over it I'll crush you first and then deal with the slayers and their rebel friends' he told the Archduke.

Sebassis was about to say something else but a look of warning from Izzerial caught him just in time. Berith would have loved to make an example of one of the Circle, he just needed sufficient grounds to do so without provoking the Wolf, Ram and Hart to be forced to intervene. One problem with sitting on the fence playing both sides against the middle is the need to keep a steady balance, and for all his powers Berith couldn't fight everybody. 'We will discuss this later privately' the Archduke told the Lord of the Covenant. 'Perhaps suitable recompense might be found to make up for lost revenue and all the forces I have already sacrificed their in the name of the Circle and the Wolf, Ram and Hart' he said.

The sacrifice was only for his own benefit Berith knew but diplomacy and good sense dictated an Olive Branch was needed. 'I'm sure we can arrive at a fair arrangement' Berith responded with a nod. 'Now are there any specific issues that any of you would like to raise?' he asked, looking around. 'You'll find that under my leadership the organisation here on Earth will be far more conducive to your interests and considerably less so for your enemies than it's been for the last year or so' he told them.

'There is the matter of both the collapse of the extremely profitable Orpheus Trade and the continuing random attacks by the Cyborg Ninja's that are disrupting several enterprises and damaging consumer confidence' Ed remarked.

Berith smiled. 'I'll deal personally' he told them. 'I find a hands-on approach is better than delegation sometimes, and besides which these hands can punch through armoured plate' he noted holding up a clenched fist. 'Cyborg Ninjas eh?' he queried. 'Cool' he added enthusiastically wondering if an Old One wielding nunchucks was overkill?

Hyperion Hotel – Los Angeles – June 2004

'I can honestly say that this wasn't quite what I was looking for in an apocalypse' Giles remarked, looking around the room. They were meeting in the Dining Hall rather than the Briefing room because of the number of attendees and Andrew kept coming out of the kitchen bringing food figuring they were on his turf which made him the host in some fashion.

'I think we were all surprised by the lack of violence' Wesley replied. 'And by all I mean us, Wolfram and Hart and the First.'

'You've got to give it up to Berith' Faith declared. 'Dude knows how to make an entrance' she said.

Willow leaned back in her chair. 'As soon as Berith made his intentions clear I guess the First shut down the dark energies because Cleveland's dead as a doornail now on the psychic front' she said. 'The only trace left is what I can pick up from myself and Wes and that's fading.'

'What about Glory?' Buffy asked. 'She felt it too.'

'No traces left there, I suppose she's far too powerful for any residuals to stick to her' Willow replied 'I guess the same is true of Illyria but we haven't seen her since she portalled out of Cleveland so I can't be certain.'

'Doubt her mood is all that light but that's got nothing to do with Berith beyond the fact I hear he spilled the beans' Fred commented, giving Faith a clearly hostile look which she then re-directed at Wesley. In a very weird fashion she had started to think of Illyria as being like the twin sister strangers always assumed she was, only subconsciously at first perhaps, but gradually she had become aware of her familial feelings regarding her doppelganger.

'Can we steer clear of that particular topic please' Giles requested. 'Although it does have an impact beyond certain individuals personal lives it will nonetheless cloud the issue at hand' he said, 'which is how exactly we are going to respond to the threat Berith represents.'

'I don't know if we know enough about his intentions yet to know what to do' Wesley opined. 'I'm certain they'll be an element of divide and conquer in there, given that he's already given that a try, but otherwise his options are almost endless given that he likely has all of Illyria's strengths, plus knowledge of the magicks and the ability to teleport.'

'And he's smart' Buffy added. 'I hate the smart ones' she said.

'One thing he's got as well is ego' Willow noted. 'From the second he knocked on the door that rang out loud and clear' she said. 'That's something we can use against him.'

'Or a scythe' Rona suggested, 'don't let's forget just hacking a chunk off him with a scythe' she reminded them.

'Way too fast' Buffy replied. 'You've sparred with Illyria like I have, even carrying a scythe I wouldn't want to fight her for real she's too strong and quick and she's got the moves too' she noted. 'And that's in real time' she pointed out. 'We've got to assume Berith is that good too and they can always cheat' she pointed out. 'I've been with Illyria when she's done the time thing, she bought me along for the ride' Buffy continued. 'Everything else looks like it's moving like maple syrup straight from the refrigerator, you can't fight that unless you're going the same speed yourself.'

'So that's what we do' Rona said. 'One of us with a scythe, the plastic one just in case, does the Matrix-thing with the Blue Meanie and we put Berith down.'

'Vail once put Illyria on her knees with a fireball and I can put at least as much power into one as he can, probably a lot more especially if I don't mind black roots for a few days' Willow told them. 'He's not unbeatable, just a lot less beatable than we'd like him to be.'

'Can we be sure of Smurfette?' Faith asked. 'They seemed to be getting on a bit too well for my liking.'

'And like you're unbiased on the subject of Illyria' Cordelia said with a snort.

'Bite me Cor' Faith retorted. 'The First was on to something when he said they were bonding' she said. 'And he told her she smelled nice.'

'Pheromones?' Angel suggested giving Wesley a half smile.

'More the fact that apparently we smell awful by comparison I would think' Wesley said. 'Illyria has told me in no uncertain terms before that to her we all stink so it's likely Berith would find us equally distasteful.'

'Maybe now that Blue's short one guy she might decide to shack up with one of her own' Spike said.

'The Old One's weren't known for that kind of relationship' Giles replied. 'It seems unlikely.'

'They're both partially human now' Willow pointed out. 'Illyria picked up plenty from her shell, I'll guess that Berith will do the same, we can't assume they'll behave the same way towards each other now that they would have in their original forms.'

'Other than liking Illyria's smell the closest thing I saw to attraction from Berith was directed towards you' Buffy told her friend.

Willow smiled. 'He liked my hair' she said touching it. 'I guess that's a racial holdover, Illyria is fond of the shade of her clan, Berith is probably the same way.'

'Of course' a familiar voice stated as Illyria walked into the room. 'I have asked My Wesley to dye his own hair blue but he always refused to do so.

Wesley jumped to his feet, Faith looked ready for fight or flight though neither would work too well against the skinny blue bitch 'Illyria I…' Wesley began.

'I do not wish to hear anything you have to say' Illyria told him and turned to face Faith. 'Wesley remains my Qwa'ha Xahn, my property and my Consort and you can't have him' she stated. 'I have however thought the matter through and decided that I was being irrationally human in how I responded to his betrayal and that therefore I will not eviscerate you as I wish to do.'

'What the fuck do you mean I can't have him? Faith snapped back. 'You can't dictate who he…'

'Be quiet or I will render you unconscious' Illyria interrupted. 'Wesley it has come to my attention that you desire a companion of your own race' she told him. 'If you were to take a concubine I would allow it as long as they know their place' she growled, directing an icy cold crystalline glare at Faith.

Illyria turned around and started to head back out the door with an imperious air. Such an arrangement with Faith designated barely above slave status would save sufficient face to maintain her dignity and besides which as Anya had pointed out there was absolutely no way in hell that Wesley and Faith could possibly last any length of time given the fact that they were both more than slightly unhinged and had a personal history which was less than conducive to an ongoing relationship. In any case there was more at stake than that, much more.

'What the fuck was that?' Faith demanded to know.

'Did your woman just give you permission to screw another bird?' Spike asked Wesley incredulously, 'bleeding publicly?' he added nonplussed.

Illyria stopped in her tracks and turned around. 'We have determined that the Arthurian Legends and Stories are based around prophecies regarding myself and several others correct?' she asked. 'Willow is likely Merlin on that basis, Buffy not I retrieved the scythe rather than a sword from the stone and Faith now seems to be the Lancelot to Wesley's Guinevere' she said.

'Right I suppose so' Buffy agreed, confused by the change of subject.

'Arthur falls in battle, the Knights of the Round Table falter and the Kingdom collapses' Illyria said. 'I have no wish to see that occur so I am screwing with my own destiny as Fred would say. Arthur gives Guinevere free reign to have an open relationship with Lancelot, and therefore loses neither love nor a great Knight' she explained, 'I have therefore thwarted the prophecy and falsified the legends' she declared. 'My future is my own to determine and the Kingdom will not fall to either its enemies or by internal collapse' she stated. The Shaper of Things is not bound by the predictions of lesser creatures and I will continue to play with the universe and not have it play with me.'

Illyria observed their stunned expressions with satisfaction. 'I will be in the training room sparring with Glory so that I am at the peak of my abilities when I bring Berith to heel' she said before turning towards the door once again and marching out.

After a long pause Buffy spoke up. 'Am I the only one that sometimes gets the urge to call out "God Save the King" when she says stuff like that?' she asked.

Faith shrugged. 'I'm still waiting to find out what the fuck a "concubine" is' she admitted.

Note from the Author:

This fanfic runs on reviews... and what destiny did you think I was going to play with :-p