Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. At all. Sadly.

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Chapter Three: Silence of the Lamb

In the car on the way back into town, Edward and I were both silent. There was nothing more to say. Edward stared out the windsheild, turning on the windsheild wipers as rain began to pour down heavily, reflecting my mood. I felt confused; did I love Edward, or didn't I? I didn't know, but I desperately wanted to love him...but the back of my mind was giving me major doubts. But should I listen to my head, or my heart? Which would fool me, and which one was the right choice? Which one was best for Edward and for me, not to mention our families?

"Edward..." I looked over at him, wondering if he would answer me. He didn't. He remained silent, staring at the road ahead of him. "Please Edward...hear me out. There's a good reason for this."

He looked at me and if he were human, I knew he would have been crying. "A good reason for this?" He repeated. "A good reason? For what? For why you don't love me, even though you've said you do about a hundred times? What, Bella?" His eyes bored into mine with so much ferocity that I was afraid to move.

"I don't want to hurt you..." I said as tears poured from my eyes. "I don't want to hurt you or your family."

Edward seemed somewhat softened by my excessive tears and he looked back at the road before he completely gave in and let me explain myself.

Before I knew it, we arrived back at my house and I opened my car door, but Edward stayed in the car, his hands on the steering wheel, not getting out. I didn't expect him to. I'd caused him just about as much heartache as I was capable of this today.

"See you." I whispered as I got out and the rain beat down on the hood of my jacket.

"Goodbye." He answered tonelessly as I shut the car door. He backed out of the driveway and sped down the street out of my view.

With a heavy heart, I walked back into the house and shut the door behind me with a small snap. I didn't bother checking the new answering machine that I convinced Charlie to get incase Mom or someone the from the sherrif's department called, and I headed up the stairs, my sneakers squeaking on the hall floor as I went. I walked into my bedroom and instantly took off my wet jacket and shoes and dumped them on the floor. I wearily layed down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling flashbacks of all the wonderful times Edward and I had shared, running aimlessly through my mind.

I wanted Edward back; I wanted him to walk in my bedroom and stand there, looking at me with that crooked smile that I loved so much. I missed him, even though it had been less than five minutes since I had last seen him. It seemed that our hearts that seem so content on being together and being bined forever...were suddenly torn violently apart, only to never be united once more. My heart ached with a million different feelings, some of which I didn't even understand, myself. Regret, sadness, love, admiration...the calm before the storm. I knew that later on I would get hit so hard with the reality of the situation, that I would be unconsolable. I wanted him back. I wanted him to come in here and hold me, whispering sweet nothings in my ear to calm my frantic heart and mind. I wanted to tell him that I loved him. I now knew what love meant; even though you try not to, you end up thinking about them no matter what. Even if you've only been apart five minutes, you miss them terribly. If you try to tell yourself that you don't love them, you know you're lying to yourself. I now realized just how happy Edward made me and I couldn't live without him. It was inevitable.

I sat up, wiping my tears away. I walked over to where my phone sat in its stand on my desk, though before I could turn it on to dial Edward's number, the phone rang in my hands. With a confused look at it, I answered it and held it up to my ear. "Hello?"

"Bella? It's Alice." Came a steely voice on the other end. It was definetely Alice, though she was very mad, I could tell.

"Oh...hi Alice." I replied, trying to swallow the lump rising in my throat. "What's up?"

"The way you treated Edward, that's 'what's up'." She said, and I could tell by her voice she was on the verge of yelling. "How could you do that to him after everything he's done for you?"

"Alice, let me explain. I wasn't sure if I loved Edward--" I could hear her voice about to cut me off "--but I realized that...I really do love him." I said defiantly.

"Oh...so I don't have to come over there and hurt you?" Alice said and I could tell she was slightly embarrassed.

"No. You don't. I was just about to call Edward." I said, smiling to myself a bit.

"Really? I'll go now then so you can call him. Sorry Bella." She said and her end clicked then all I got was a dial tone.

I sighed quietly then dialed Edward's number, hoping he would pick up. And he did. One the third ring; I guessed he didn't want to seem like he was waiting for my call, and I knew Alice probably already told him.

"Hello?" His voice seemed sadened and I could feel my heart breaking at his tone.

"Edward, it's Bella. Listen I am so sorry. The reason I said I didn't love you earlier was because I wasn't entirely sure what love was and what it meant. But...I...I really do love you, Edward. So much. Please forgive me." I said, my voice breaking.

Edward was silent for several moments, then said. "I forgive you, Bella. I just wasn't expecting the answer I got, is all."

"I know you weren't and I was being so stupid. But Edward, please know that I love you more than I could ever be able to say and nothing will ever change that."

I could almost hear him smiling on the other end of the phone. "Good. I love you too Bella."

I sighed happily. "Glad to hear that you still love me after how I treated you earlier."

"Of course I do."

"Well...it's raining outside and there's nothing exciting happening..." I said, hoping he would come over.

"How about I pick you up and come back here?" He asked.

"Alright, yeah that sounds good." I answered, already going over to my closer to change since my clothes were still damp.

"Right. I'll come pick you up. See you in a few." His end clicked and I hung up my phone, tossing it on my bed as I pulled a white skirt out of my closet and then a black tank top.

I grabbed a pair of black and white sandles I had and slipped them on my feet and quickly brushed my hair. I checked my eyes in the mirror, trying to make it not-so obvious that I had been crying my eyes out twenty minutes ago. After I was presentable, I heard a car horn outside and I ran down the stairs, tripping on the way, but I didn't fall completely; I just fell against the wall. I grabbed my jacket and saw that the rain had let up and was now just lightly drizzling. I went over to the silver Volvo and got in, giving Edward a smile. The first thing he did was take my face in his hands and gave me a passionate kiss. I knew the boundaries. I couldn't kiss him back so I just let him kiss me instead.

But there was one way that there were no boundaries. If I let Edward change me. And to do that, I would have to accept his proposal. It was life, or death. But which is which?

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