1A/N: Before I do any requests, I HAVE to do this chapter. It should have happened already actually. The song it is to the tune of Jingle Bells which I don't own either.
Hawkeye and Frank were in the Swamp sleeping while Trapper was in the latrine (luckily). They were disturbed by Margaret and Lieutenant Dish running and crashing through the door of the Swamp and both said;
"I'm pregnant."
"What the hell? Margaret do you know what time it is?" Hawkeye asked.
"The baby is Frank's."
"My baby is Hawky-poo's!" Dish said sweetly.
Both Hawkeye and Frank fainted at this point. Trapper now came in to find the scene unfolding.
"PREGNANT? YOU BOTH ARE? HAWKEYE AND FRANK ARE THE FATHER'S?" Then Trapper fainted also.
"Ahh! No! Hawkeye!" Dish screamed, kneeling down to help Hawkeye.
"Wh-when did this happen?" A groggy Hawkeye asked.
"Two weeks ago. Major Houlihan's too."
"So the Major's finally having a minor!" Hawkeye replied.
"Yes, and I have one thing to say,
I hate Frank,
I hate Frank,
I wish he was never born,
He made me pregnant and I wish he were dead
now I'm full of scorn.
I hate Frank,
I hate Frank,
he's an inept surgeon,
why's he here?
Why doesn't he go,
crawl back in a hole?
(From Frank, now awake, the song turns into a rap)
Nobody likes me!
No-nobody likes me!
NO-no-no-nobody likes me!
What's wrong with everybody?
I'm so hip and cool.
I have a $35,000 house, two cars and a big stinkin' pool!
Again, there was more, but he was chased out by Hawkeye. He was promptly hanged by the poll.
Nine months later,
"Push!" Henry yelled at Dish.
Dish pushes, and then dies from an aneurism . The baby is saved and is sent to the States.
Margaret had a miscarriage because Frank pushed her a few months ago, because she threatened to tell his wife, Louise. Margaret was alright though.
When Hawkeye found out about Dish, he only replied with, "Aww, she was such a dish."