Stephenie Meyer owns all the rights.

"Even better. He must like you."

– Twilight

"Edward!" I squealed as my feet carried me as fast as humanly possible to where he and his siblings were standing outside of the school. It had been nearly a week and a half since he had asked me to hang out after school one day, and I finally had my chance. I heard Emmett call an "incoming!" as my body slammed into Edward's. Edward, shocked from this rather unexpected contact, hugged me back confused.

"What's going on, Bella?" he asked me as I released myself from him. I grinned sheepishly. For the past week and a half, I hadn't been hinting that there was any amorous feelings between me and Edward. I think that hug let him know that I still cared. Then again... he was a boy...

"I can hang out after school today!"

Everyone broke out with a rather large grin on their faces. It was fantastic – they were all happy for darling Edward.

"Sweet. What's your excuse?" Jasper asked me. I guessed that Edward had told them all why I couldn't hang out.

"Oh, nothing, really. I need help on physics and my teacher just happened to recommend his best student, Edward Cullen. I accidently brought home an F on that test that we just took on vectors, and Jasper!, I don't want to fail 11th grade... again... do I?"

That got an appreciative chuckle from everyone. Edward placed his hands cooly in the front pockets of his jeans and bit down on his lip, as if deciding. "Well, okay, Bella. If you really do need that much help in physics, I suppose that I can help you."

"Too bad it's not in anatomy," Emmett whispered to Rose with a devilish look on his face. She chuckled appreciatively.

"Oi!" Edward exclaimed, smacking his older brother on the back of the head as the bell rang. That caused the group of us to break up to go to our first periods with pearls of laughter being shared between us.

The day seemed to drag on slowly after that. That was normally the most interaction that I got from the Cullen clan other than gym class with Edward. We were all in different lunches (or I should say, they were in different lunches. I had lunch A and they had lunch B), different classes, different social groups, even. The Cullen's still kept to themselves, as did I. But they were labeled more as "freaks" and I was more or less "the new girl". At least as the new girl, people still tried to talk to me about everything. But I was also labeled as a "trouble maker" and "drug addict" for being a runaway. I was all used to those names by now, though. I had only heard them for how many years prior?

"So how long do you have to study physics today?" Asked Alice kindly on our way home.

"Until 6 P.M. I have to be home in time for dinner."

"I'm sure you love that," Rose said with a grin.

Rose was coming around to me, which was a good thing. I was sure that we would never be the best of friends, but that was okay. I was just happy that she was looking at me and talking to me peacefully. I remembered how it had been when I was human... how much she had hated me. No one had ever really explained that to me, either, but it didn't matter now. That was so far in the past.

"Oh, you're right. I just love dinner, especially when people are watching me eat because they think I have an eating disorder."

"Ew– they actually watch you eat?" Edward asked.

"I don't actually eat it, Edward!" I exclaimed, rolling my eyes. Sometimes he could be so silly.

The group chatted amongst things and I would occasionally chip my two cents in on our way back to the house. It didn't seem to take as long now that I was willing to go. As soon as we opened the front door, Esme was upon us. She gave all of her children hugs, but when she got to me, she paused and gave me a hug and a kiss.

"Oh, come on, Mom," Edward chastised her, "You're gonna embarrass poor Bella and she won't want to come back."

"It's okay, Edward," I said as I let go of his mother. I loved his mother dearly – she was probably the most kind, companionate soul that I had ever met. I remembered discussing the reasons of her death, and I almost shuddered. I couldn't help myself. How could anyone ever in a million years hurt a gentle creature like Esme? And, to lose her baby... I ached for her. Life hadn't been very fair to her.

"Is Carlisle at work?" Edward asked his surrogate mother.

"Yes, he'll be back around 4:30 or 5," Esme informed him pensively.

Edward nodded to something unsaid and motioned for me to follow him to the kitchen. He pulled out a chair for me, and I sat down in it. Edward rounded the table and sat directly across from me. I hoped that he didn't think I really needed to study physics.

"You know, I really don't need to study physics," I told him, wondering if he knew that or not. Knowing Edward, he probably thought that I was still not as smart as he and his siblings. Okay, I probably wasn't as smart as they were, but I was smart.

"Oh, no. I know that, Bella. I just... wanted to talk, and I figured that this would be as good a place as any..." his voice trailed off, and I recognized that he was waiting for me to tell him that it was fine.

"Yeah, it's fine," I informed him and he broke out my favorite lopsided grin.

I pondered possible reasons as to why he wouldn't want to take me up to his room like he used to, but I was sure that he had his reasons. I quickly cast the thought from my head because it wasn't important for me to know. If he wanted me in his room, he would just take me there. Okay, maybe he really didn't want anything more than friendship with me. Maybe I had been too hard on him in the past couple of weeks.

I opened my eyes and saw his studying me. "You know, I still hate that."

"Hate what?" I asked, though I knew very well what he was talking about.

"Not being able to hear your thoughts. It's the single most annoying thing!"

"Oh, because I wouldn't know what it's like to not know what you're thinking 24-7. Edward, grow up already! I'm glad that you can't hear my thoughts. They're private and they're mine." I realized how harsh and rude that sounded the second it left my mouth.

"Oh, Edward," I apologized, "I didn't mean it to sound that rude."

"No, you're perfectly right," he informed me. "It's just... different than what I'm used to."

I nodded, understanding what he was talking about. I wouldn't chastise him again about him wishing to hear my thoughts. Not only did he know my opinion on the matter, but I felt horrible for what I just said to him. Oops. I should learn to keep my mouth shut and think silently that I was glad that he couldn't hear my thoughts. I hoped that I hadn't angered him too much, but looking into his eyes, they seemed calm and without anger. That was a good sign.

"So...," I struggled for what I wanted to say or ask him during our "study" time. "What have you been doing these past fifty years?"

"Oh, nothing of consequence..."

I glared at him. "Edward, I'd like to know. Unless, of course, there's a good reason that you don't want to tell me. I understand, if it's private or something." My mind, however, immediately flashed to the Denali Clan. I had met them once or twice on my travels and I knew exactly what they liked and loved – men. It was possible that, with Edward being such good friends with them and all, he had sought refuge and... love from them at one point or another in the past 50 years. I tried to push the thought from my head, but I couldn't.

"I was basically worthless," Edward muttered lowly. I knew that everyone else in the house could probably hear him, but he didn't seem to care. Then it dawned on me that regardless, they had all lived with him for the past 50 years and knew what he would say because they saw it firsthand. I had no doubt in my mind that what Edward was about to tell me would be the honest truth. He leaned forward, so that his face was now closer to mine than it had been. I, on the other hand, didn't move closer.

"What do you mean?" I whispered softly. I couldn't imagine my Edward being 'worthless,' as he put it. But then again, I hadn't imagined him to want to be friends with me anymore, either.

"Bella, don't you get it?" I shook my head no, and he sighed. He leaned back some and took to rubbing his temples gently, trying to sort out his thoughts. There was a pregnant pause before he leaned towards me once more and started to talk again.

"I never wanted to leave you. – No, don't interrupt me, okay? – But when Jasper attacked you on your birthday, and everything had just happened with James, I was constantly worried about your life and about the danger that I was putting you in by simply existing. And then it dawned on me for another reason why I shouldn't be with you.

"It wasn't that you weren't worth it, Bella. It was because I was stealing your humanity from you. You knew that vampires existed and you were foolishly in love with one. He foolishly loved you back, thinking that he could keep you safe and not let any harm come to you. Bella, I was stupid to think that. I couldn't protect you; I wasn't any good at that. So how fair of me was it to deny you the one thing you wanted – to be a vampire, like me – but to say no because I was stealing your soul? What is the value of a soul worth versus the value of one's humanity? And, how could I justify you losing your humanity by being with me, or by losing your soul by me changing you?

"The truth is simple, Bella: I couldn't justify either. So I knew what I had to do. I sent off Alice and Carlisle and Esme and Emmett and Rose. I sent them off just like they had sent me off all those times before, when one of them had screwed up. And then I took you on that fateful walk in the woods, and I told you the deepest, darkest lie that I could think of: I didn't want you to come with me.

"Of, course, you didn't believe it. I could see it in your pretty eyes. You were trying to work it out in your head, but you couldn't understand. So then I told you the single most horrible lie that I could think of: I didn't love you anymore. And it crushed my heart, Bella, to see you suddenly comprehend why I didn't want you anymore. It dawned on you as if that really was truthful, but it wasn't.

"I've spent the past 50 years trying to live with myself. But I haven't been very successful, Bella. I need you to be complete in my life. I'll never forgive myself for all of eternity for what I've done to you or the pain that I've caused you. Never. And I'll never forgive myself for first, letting you be 'best friends', as you put it, with werewolves and second, letting Victoria bite you. I should have been there to protect you, Bella, but I wasn't. I was off wallowing in self pity.

"To be honest with you, I spent twenty years not living with my family over you. But then Alice had a dark vision of my demise, and Emmett and Carlisle came to rescue me. The family watched over me, made sure I fed when I needed to... they took care of me. In the past ten years or so, I finally got around to making an attempt to look human enough, to go hunting, to do everything that I'm supposed to do... but it's all been in a hollow lie. It hasn't really meant so much to me... until you entered my life a week and a half ago.

"Jasper is amazed at how well and how fast my emotions have healed up, just knowing that you exist still and that there could be a chance for me yet," he grinned sheepishly at me at this moment. "It's just a completely new ball park to know that you're still here."

I had remained silent throughout his speech. I was mesmerized by what he had told me. Needless to say, I was shocked to look up at the clock and find that it was forty five minutes later. I hadn't thought it had taken that long. I guess I just wanted to know what Edward had been up to.

"Do you forgive me?" His velvet voice asked me quietly.

I nodded my head 'yes'. Of course I forgave him! Why wouldn't I forgive him?! I loved the boy, didn't I? And, from what he was saying... was it possible that he loved me, too? I didn't think it could be, but I wasn't quite sure, either.

"That's all that I needed to hear," he murmured softly.

A millisecond later, Edward was leaning across the table and his granite lips had once again found safe harbor on mine.