The Price of Freedom – Part 14
It wasn't until four days later that John was able to stay awake for longer periods and with that came the boredom of being confined to the infirmary. Even though he was no longer in intensive care, the main infirmary was still boring because right now, he was their only patient. But at least he had something to look forward to as Carson had promised that if he continued to improve, then they would get him out of bed in a few days time. In the meantime, he was stuck with nothing to do other than sleep because he still didn't have the focus or enthusiasm to read or play Sudoku for longer periods.
John glanced down at his broken arm with its heavy white plaster cast. People had started to scribble messages on it. Rodney had apparently written something cheeky in a place that John couldn't see, meaning he wouldn't be able to read it until the cast had been removed. His damn arm was useless but he supposed he'd been lucky, as Beckett had said that it would heal well in time. Nevertheless, it was going to keep him out of commission for some weeks. Then there was all the other damage and stuff. Well, it was best not to think about that.
He hadn't looked in a mirror for weeks and although the nurses kept him shaven and clean, he had a feeling that he still looked pretty scruffy. So overall, he couldn't wait to take a real shower with good shampoo and soap. Maybe, he could persuade Carson to let him have one once the dreaded catheter was gone and he was mobile.
John relaxed and instantly his mind drifted back to Tandara and his time as a slave. He hadn't talked about his experience to the others yet and they hadn't asked him, thinking that he wasn't well enough. His emotions were still at little touchy but John knew that he should try to tell someone about it, if only to clear his mind. However, he hated that sort of thing, so he'd rather forget it ever happened.
John was back in the mine, with its choking dust burning his lungs. He could see Seth; the kid was having another fit. John moved quickly towards Seth but at the last moment, something blocked his way. It was a solid wall of flesh and it stood between him and the kid. John tried to move around it but the being wouldn't let him. John's anger began to mount. Then he lifted his head to look into the cruellest eyes that he had ever seen and screamed.
"Steady on, son. Just breathe deeply and relax. That must have been a nasty dream ya were having."
John tried to breathe as Carson instructed but the dust still clogged his throat or at least that's what it felt like. He coughed to clear the tightness in his lungs and eventually his breathing eased. Carson handed him a glass of water, which he readily drank. Was it really a dream? It felt so real.
His hand trembled slightly as he handed the glass back to Carson. The dream had left him feeling greatly disturbed and John knew that he had to do something about it, so he whispered. "As soon as I'm able, I think I need to write a report."
Carson shook his head, emphatically. "That's not good enough. Ya need to talk to someone about it, John, and I think that someone should be Dr. Heightmeyer. I'll see when she has some time."
John pulled a face and shook his head, not quite so forcibly as Carson as he didn't want to bring on a headache. "No, not Kate. You know how much I hate talking to her. It's nothing personal but … well." He left it at that.
Carson sighed, they'd been through this stage many times before. "John, ya know how important it is to talk these things over and Kate is the best qualified." However, Carson didn't want to push it, therefore he suggested, "But if ya not willing to talk to her, then at least talk to me or Elizabeth or someone of ya choosing."
John remained silent for several minutes as images of his dream still played through his mind. He didn't want to live with them forever so surprisingly, he relented. "All right, I'm willing to tell you, Elizabeth and my team. All of you, together." He paused for a second before plucking up the courage to tell Carson about his dream. "The dream I just had, it seemed so damn real but it couldn't have been. I was back in the mine. A kid called Seth was having a fit. I think he suffers from epilepsy. Anyway, I was trying to reach him but … but I couldn't get there. I was being blocked by someone. The strangest thing was, the person blocking me wasn't Karakus. It was … it was---." John sighed, but he couldn't get it out.
"Come on, son, ya can tell me."
John pulled a distasteful face and bit into his lower lip but eventually, he managed to mutter. "Kolya."
Carson winced before speaking up. "Sometimes our greatest fear comes out in our dreams. In the last months, you've suffered some very dramatic events. One at the hands of Kolya and now this Karakus person, and I expect ya brain just tied the two together but I'm no expert in that field of medicine. Are you sure ya won't talk to Kate?"
"No thanks, doc. I think giving you and the others an account of the events will probably help sort things out."
"Okay, if ya think so, I'll see if I can get us all together before supper tonight. In the mean time, try to sleep and rest as much as ya can."
John gave Carson a long-suffering look. "That's all I've been doing, Carson."
"Aye, well, ya still need to do plenty of it." With that, Carson left him in peace.
The rest of the day dragged by endlessly and John did as Carson wanted but his sleep was restless and disturbed by dreams, thankfully not about Kolya again.
He had a few visitors during the day but everyone seemed extra busy with one thing or another. It wasn't until late afternoon that John received another visitor, someone he wasn't expecting to see. He had just woken from yet another weird mixed-up dream. This time he'd been searching for water in a bone-dry desert and no matter where he had turned there was nothing but sand.
On waking, he realised that his throat was dry and slightly sore, probably came from sleeping on his back, no doubt with his mouth wide open. He just hoped to god he hadn't snored too loudly.
He was just about to reach for the glass of water kept by his bedside, when a hand grabbed it and handed it to him. John looked up to say thanks and came face to face with his superior officer - Caldwell.
"Lieutenant Colonel," Caldwell addressed him, using John's full title. "I'm glad to see you're looking a lot better."
John nodded politely. "Thank you, Sir. I'm getting there."
"I expect Dr. Weir has mentioned that I've been doing your job in your absence."
John looked surprised. No one had mentioned this and he had automatically assumed that Major Lorne had been running things. "No, she hasn't mentioned anything yet but this is the first day that I've been more err … with it." John emphasised, feeling the need to defend Elizabeth.
"Yes, well, I have been and I must say you---." John was spared from hearing any more by the timely arrival of his team and Elizabeth.
"Colonel Caldwell." Elizabeth piped up. "It's nice to see you here."
Caldwell gave her a smile. "Yes, well, I thought I'd better pay the Colonel a visit now that he can stay awake for longer than five minutes. But if you don't mind, I have things that need my attention. I'll speak to you some other time, Sheppard." With that, Caldwell quickly left.
John followed him with his eyes. "What was all that about?"
"I'm sorry, John, I should have told you before but he has been running things in---"
Interrupting Elizabeth with a loud groan, John pulled a face. "Yeah, he told me. Does that mean I'm going to have to put everything back to normal again? He altered so much the last time that it took me weeks to reorganise."
Elizabeth smiled at his depressed expression. "I'm sorry but we thought---"
"That I wasn't coming back." John finished for her. She simply nodded. "Okay, if you can all find a seat, folks, I'll tell you a little of what happened on Tandara. Carson thinks it will help me come to terms with it. By the way, where is he?"
"I'm here." Carson called as he sauntered across the infirmary. "I just had one or two things to attend to. Are you sure you're up to it, Colonel?"
"I'm fine, doc. Come on, I just want to get this over and done with."
When they had all settled and in true John Sheppard style, he gave a very abridged version of what happened on Tandara with the occasional interruption from Rodney.
John failed to mention the chaining, the beatings, or his incarceration in the cage. However, he did tell them about the gold mine and its dreadful working conditions. He also talked about Seth and asked after him. Nobody seemed too sure about what happened to the slaves in the mine, but Elizabeth promised to make inquiries during her next meeting with the new council.
This seemed to satisfy John for the time being although, he murmured. "As soon as I'm fit enough, I'd like to go back to the planet."
The others exchanged a look of concern before Elizabeth piped up. "If you're sure, but it will be a little while before you're fit enough."
Carson nodded. "Aye, ya have a ways to go yet, Colonel." He guessed like the others that John hadn't told them everything. Between what Sirena had told them and the state that John had been in that much was clear, but he decided to remain quiet and see how John coped. The Colonel was a very private man and he wouldn't appreciate being quizzed for more details right now.
Of course, that didn't account for the one person on John's team who couldn't keep his mouth shut. "How did your feet end up looking like you'd walked on glass?" Rodney asked.
John looked stumped for a minute. "No shoes plus rough stones makes a bad combination when you're not used to it."
Rodney didn't seem satisfied. "And all that blood."
John stifled a yawn before answering. "Like I told you, I killed two guards, so most of it wasn't mine."
Rodney was just about to ask more questions when Carson decided to intervene. "That's enough, Rodney. I think the Colonel has had enough for today and it's nearly suppertime, so I'm ordering ya all out of the infirmary."
Elizabeth and Teyla nodded and were the first to make a move. Wishing John a good night, the two women departed.
Carson nearly had to run Ronon and Rodney out but eventually they left too, leaving him alone with John.
After checking his patient over once more, Carson looked at him seriously. "Ya certainly kept a few things out of your recount didn't ya?"
"Ah come on, doc, they didn't need to know all the gory details."
"Aye, I suppose you're right but it was meant to help you come to terms with what happened. I just hope it has, otherwise I'm calling Kate."
John smiled up at Carson after another huge yawn. "I'll be fine, Carson. I'm just darn grateful to be alive and back home."
"Aye, I'm sure ya are." Carson murmured, before leaving Sheppard to rest some more.
Half an hour later, Sirena carefully approached John's bed carrying a tray with his supper of rich vegetable soup and fresh crusty bread, which she had made herself with permission from the canteen staff. She smiled at the sight of him lightly snoring with his mouth open. He looked so young and relaxed. Once again, she thanked the gods for delivering him from the clutches of death.
Carefully placing the tray on the little table that fitted across the bed, she murmured softy. "John, I have brought you supper. I cooked it myself."
John opened a bleary eye to greet the older woman. He hadn't intended to sleep before eating but it seemed that his body still needed it. "Oh hi, Sirena." he greeted as he attempted to sit up.
Sirena helped him a little but she made no real move to openly mother him. She hadn't done so for days now as her intuition told her that he wouldn't appreciate it, especially in front of the male members of his team or any his men. The knowledge of what John truly commanded had left her astounded and even more grateful that he had survived. Fool Karakus for taking on such a man, she thought as she positioned the little table before him and then sat down on a chair by his bed.
John smiled up at her. "Thanks. Mmmmm this looks good," he stated before picking up the spoon and digging in. He sighed with appreciation, compared to most of the slops he'd had on Tandara, this was heaven. "You're a great cook."
Sirena blushed slightly. "I was lucky to have good masters before Karakus bought me. The mistress taught me how to cook when I was still quite young. The recipe for this soup comes from Teyla's deceased friend Charin. Apparently she was also wonderful cook."
John nodded sadly. "Yes, she was." He took another spoonful but before popping it in his mouth, he asked. "How is the tour of Atlantis going?"
"Oh my goodness, you have such wonderful things here. Today Teyla took me to one of the piers using something called a transporter. At first, I was very scared of using it but it is truly amazing."
John smiled at her enthusiasm. She was like this every time she talked about the city, so he relaxed and finished his soup while she told him about her pleasure and the wonder at watching the rough sea lap against the beautiful city. It was like listening to a child after their first trip to Disneyland.
Eventually, quite a while after John had finished his supper, Sirena stopped talking. He really didn't mind listening to her and it pleased him that she was finally able to enjoy the wonders of a free life. However, the break in conversation gave him the opportunity to say. "I haven't thanked you yet for helping me. I don't think I would have survived without it."
Sirena looked at him earnestly. "You are more than welcome. I always sensed a power and strength in you that went beyond the normal. I think I realised quite early on that you could be the Master's undoing. Thankfully my intuition proved true."
Feeling no awkwardness, John simply replied. "He was an awful man."
Sirena nodded in agreement. "Gone forever."
"Yep, gone forever." John answered around a huge yawn.
Sirena saw it and quickly rose to take the tray. "I think it is time I left. Sleep well, John," she whispered just as a nurse came up to settle him for the night.
"You, too." John called after her before smiling up at the nurse who had started to take his stats.
The nurse smiled back. "She's a sweetie."
"Yep, she sure is."
Fifteen minutes later, feeling clean and ready to sleep, John snuggled into his pillow. He had a hunch that he would sleep better tonight and as the comforting sounds and smells of Atlantis surrounded him, he allowed himself to drift away.
tbc
Well we're nearly at an end, just one more part to come so pleased stay tuned.