A pairing here, a pairing there, pairings, pairings everywhere. The two pairings are starting to surface. And now we get to meet the cheerleaders.

Give me a "D!" Give me an "O!" Give me an "N!" Give me a "T!" Don't own the Rugrats, no I don't. Don't sue me this insn't a joke! (In honor of the cheerleaders in this chapter.)

The Friendless become Friends

For their film, Kimi, Dil, and Lillian decided to interview the theater geeks first, since almost all of their friends were theater geeks and they were too. Dil ended up interviewing Harold Rumkin, Angelica's ex-best friend gone theater geek. He was never destined for the popular life, Angelica told him so on the first day of 9th grade. Dil thought Harold was okay, a little weird, but an all-around good guy.

Dil pressed record on his camera. Beep! "Okay Harold, what's your name?"

Harold scratched his head, "But you just said my name. Why do I need to say it?"

Dil sighed. He could tell it was going to be a long interview. "Tell it to the camera. Just say your name into the mike. You know, the big fuzzy black thing clipped to your shirt."

Harold nodded very seriously. "I got it. I'm Harold Rumkin," He leaned away from the mike and whispered to Dil, "How was that?"

Dil rubbed his forehead. "Great. Fantastic, really. Now, Harold, would you say you feel popular when you're with your friends?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I? Everyone feels popular with their friends. That's why people have friends, right?"

Dil smiled. Harold might be a few apples short of a picnic, but he had a heart of gold. "Do you think that everyone has friends?"

"I think somewhere, there's people who don't have friends. But one day, they're all gonna find each other. It'll be like, the friendless becoming friends. Cool, huh?"

"Yeah. So tell me..."

Lillian was stuck interviewing the cheerleaders. Fortunately for her, only one or two were actually coming. Lillian was lounging in a cafeteria chair after school waiting for the girls to show up. She knew they were here; they had practice everyday after school. 15 minutes passed and not one snooty, over-accessorized cheerleader came by. Lillian was starting to get ticked. If they bailed and didn't tell her, she would rip their fake eyelashes out one by one. Lillian had begun plotting when she heard obnoxious giggling at the door. Dammit. It's Nicole Boscorelli and Savannah Anest. Lillian stood up when the girls entered the room. She focused the camera and pressed record. "Okay, here's the deal. I'm going to ask you some questions. Just answer as smartly as you can. Anyone need me to speak slower?"

Savannah raised her eyebrows. "Shouldn't you um, be a little nicer, since, like, we're the ones doing you a favor?"

Nicole flipped her hair. "Don't worry Sav. Lillian and I are like family. She's such, like, a kidder."

Lillian's nostrils flared. "Let's get something straight. Just because you and Phil are dating, does not, in any circumstance, make us like family. I am here to do a ten minute interview. I'm really ticked because you were 15 minutes late, so you've already wasted enough of my time. Let's get this over with and get on with our lives."

Savannah yawned loudly. "Are you done yet?"

Lillian breathed deeply for a few seconds. "Yes. Now, tell me about your friends..."

It took 33 takes and almost an entire tape, but Dil finished his session with Harold. He was heading home to start the long process of editing when he spotted Tommy in the park. He wanted to know what his brother what doing. Rather than just ask, Dil went for the secret agent option. He followed Tommy and hid behind bushes for awhile, then he realized. Tommy, the star pitcher, was filming. Dil just stared for a few minutes until he snapped back to reality. He dashed home, his mind racing. Was that really Tommy? Was he cloned while I was at camp last summer? No, you have to be dead to be cloned. So Tommy really was filming. I can't wait to tell Kimi.

As soon as Dil got home, he ran to the phone. He dialed the Finster's number and waited one, two, three, four rings before Mr. Finster answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi Mr. Finster. It's Dil Pickles. Is Kimi around?"

"Sure, one mintute," He put his hand over the phone, but Dil could still hear him, "Kimi! Phone for you! It's Dil."

"Hey. What's up? Oh, how did the interview go?"

Dil was talking very fast. "Fine, but that's not why I'm calling. Guess who I saw on my way home. Tommy! He was filming in the park, probably for the contest. Isn't that weird?"

Kimi thought before answering. "Wow. That's interesting."

"Now we have some dirt on him. I'm sure his fellow jerks don't know he might be entering the contest. This is great. Usually he's the one blackmailing me."

Now Kimi was silent. When she spoke again, her words sounded forced. "Mm-hmm. Pretty cool. Uh, I gotta go. Talk to you tomorrow, okay?" She hung up without giving Dil a chance to answer.

Kimi trudged into her living room, questions filling her head. Is Tommy really entering? Does he miss filming? Is he quitting sports? Is he going to use a pen name on his film, or tell the team? Maybe he's changing. Wait, why do I care? He's a jerk now, a stupid, stuck-up, jock, right? Kimi laid down on the couch and tried to take a nap, but she was wide awake.

Lillian felt like she was going to die. This interview was going nowhere. She told Kimi that cheerleaders didn't count as real people, but no, they had to have every type of group in their video. Lillian was almost done; she couldn't wait to get the heck out of there. "Do you think everyone is popular somewhere?"

Nicole answered. "Ugh, no! People are only popular if they are rich, beautiful, and have, like, awesome bods!"

Lillian rolled her eyes. "Alright then...Savannah, don't you think people feel popular with friends, rich or not?"

"No! Only jocks and cheerleads can, like, be popular. Everyone else is just, like, false."

"Huh? Never mind. Okay, one more question, thankfully, when do you feel most popular?"

Instead of an answer, Nicole squealed. "Ah! Look Sav, look! Philly's here!" She sprung out of her chair and ran over to her boyfriend who had inconveniently appeared in the doorway. When she reached Phil, she threw her arms around him. "I missed you."

Lillian rolled her eyes, something she had done constantly during the past 10 minutes. "You were with him before you came in here." Lillian turned to face the couple and she noticed Chuck standing in the doorway. He waved and she smiled at him. "Look, can we just finish the discussion? I have to go soon."

It was now Savannah's turn to roll her eyes. "Get a life. You're, like, never going to win. So stop wasting my time and go waste someone else's, Lil," Savannah sauntered over to Chuck, "Where's Tommy? I miss him." Tommy and Savannah were Lifton's most popular couple."

Chuck answered in as few words as possible. "No show."

Savannah pouted. "That's stupid. He's ditching. I need to talk to him about that. That makes me, like, really mad."

Lillian was fuming. Who did that girl think she was? "Wait a minute. What do you mean, 'I'll never win'?"

"I meant what I said. You really think, something about, like, everyone being popular, totally not true by the way, is going to turn into anything good?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. When did you become a world-renowned film maker?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. You're so stupid. You spend all your time talking to me and collecting money for you pointless protests. How much money have you even collected so far?"

"I don't know why I'm even bothering to answer you, but it's around $410."

"Hmm, you sure about that? When was the last time you checked you can?"

The can Savannah was referring to was Lillian's donation can. Lillian was a huge animal right's supporter. Usually twice a year for the past year or two, she would hold protests. She would ask for donations during lunch. She never got much money, but this year, somehow, the can was constantly overflowing. So far she had raised $412, and she still had another week to collect. At the end of lunch everyday, Lillian would store her can in a closet in the corner of the cafeteria. Awhile back, the custodian had given her a key, so the closet was always locked. Lillian checked it everyday. She was very protective of this can, the only other person who was allowed to even touch it was Kimi. If anything ever happened to the money, it would be an enormous loss.

Lillian was more nervous than angry now. "What did you do with my donations?" Lillian raced towards the closet. The door was locked, a good sign. She fumbled with the key before she actually got it to work. The can was right where she left it, on a table in the center of the room. Lillian tore the lid off; what was inside shocked her. Nothing. All of the money was missing. All $412 was gone. Lillian's eyes stung with tears she was attempting to choke back. Don't let them get to you, Lillian. Just stay strong. Lillian walked out of the closet clutching the can to her chest. She let the door slam behind her, hard. "What the hell did you bimbos do with the money?!"

Savannah spoke with a sweet, fake, and cruel tone to her voice all at the same time. "Why Lillian?! Such, like, language! We didn't do anything to your can. The principal did."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Nicole answered with the same tone Savannah used. "Have you ever read the school handbook? There's a section on collecting money. It says that, like, you can't collect money for an out-of-school thing unless you give, like, a presentation, to the principal first."

"I collected last year and nothing happened."

"Mr. McGigger probably didn't know about the rule. So we thought we should, like, tell him," An evil grin spread across Savannah's face.

"Wh-when-How do I get my money back?"

Nicole took a step towards Lillian. "You don't. The rule says that, like, any money collected without permission has to be, um what was that word, oh yeah, distributed to another school program."

"Then I want my money to go to the theater department."

Savannah was being a phony again, something she excelled at. "Oh no, we have a problem. Mr. McGigger already gave the money away, to the cheerleaders. He thought that since we told him about the rule, we should get the money. So all you're, like, hard-earned cash went to pay for our new uniforms, aren't they super hot?"

Phil interjected. "Yeah they are!"

Chuck was still standing in the doorway. He hadn't said anything, but had seen everything. "Shut up, Phil."

Lillian dropped the can on the ground. It echoed throughout the entire cafeteria. She felt numb. That money would have freed 6 dogs and 7 cats from the pound. Instead, it paid for some polyester skimpy uniforms that looked too short and too tight. Lillian was brought out of her daze by the sound of heartless laughter. Savannah and Nicole were hysterical.

Nicole put her arm around Phil. "Your sister is such a freak."

Phil returned Nicole's gesture. "Huh, I know. Seriously, aren't you glad we're so different?" Phil, Nicole, and Savannah left the lunch room, but their laughter played throughout Lillian's head. She had forgotten all about Chuck until he started walking towards her.

Lillian couldn't hold it in anymore. She burst into tears as Chuck hugged her tightly. She cried on his shoulder for at least five minutes before she said something. "I hate them so much."

Chuck sighed before speaking. "I know, Lillian," He paused, but spoke matter-of-factly, "Me too."

Yes, I know you don't have to be a cheerleader to act like a slutty ditz, but it made the most sense in the story. Wonder what Chuckie's going to do about Lillian's money, next chapter maybe...