Black Monday

Sirius sat up with a gasp and looked around his empty bedroom then down at his wet pyjama bottoms. He began to curse loudly, it had been a dream. The most erotic experience of his life had been a bloody dream; he should have known today would get worse. Looking at the clock he had to correct himself, it was now tomorrow, and what a promising start it was.

Sighing with a mixture of regret and annoyance he flung back the now suffocating covers and practically stomped out of his bedroom to go and take yet another cold shower. The house was quite which meant that everyone was still asleep, which made Sirius very happy; he didn't think he could endure anymore glares right at this moment.

He began musing over the dream and felt himself becoming aroused again. He quickened his pace deciding that cold shower was probably the best idea; he was as hornier than a sixteen year old boy who had just discovered his father's collection of Playboy magazines. The light was already on when he pushed through the door and his pants were around his ankles before it was fully closed.

He hopped to free each foot and pulled the curtain back. He realized his mistake a split second too late. He had been so preoccupied with his own thoughts that he had failed to hear the water running and the soft moans coming from the shower cubical; but right now he was wishing he had noticed all this because it would have spared him from the sight of his godson bent over, his hands braced on the shower wall (the one he had so called 'defaced' earlier that day) with the young Malfoy pumping his hips and grunting from behind him.

An ear piercing scream was heard all over number 12 Grimmauld Place, that Sirius would never admit came from him, and the other occupants of the house came running to see what the commotion was on the second floor. They arrived just in time to see a very naked Sirius Black stumble from the bathroom, hitting into walls and the door frame before tripping on his own feet and falling flat on his face.

A still dripping Draco, leading a still sightless Harry by the hand emerged a second later wearing a towel and a smirk.

"That will teach you Black", he sneered and he and Harry went back to their room. Remus was laughing out of control and slid from his place against the wall onto the floor clutching his stomach as tears streamed down his face. Hermione ran to grab him a towel while Ginny helped him stand up and Hermione returned and wrapped the towel around his waist.

He mumbled a quick thank you refusing to look at any of them, the image of the two men in the shower burned into the back of his eyelids. He was fairly certain he was scarred for life after that little performance.

"Sirius are you ok?" Hermione asked gently touching his arm in comfort.

"I will be once I find a spoon to gouge my eyes out," he muttered more to himself than her. Ginny giggled and Remus slumped onto his side still laughing like a madman.

"I think if we all just go back to bed and get some more sleep everything won't seem as bad in the morning", she reasoned and gave Remus a pointed glare before grabbing Ginny's hand and going back upstairs. The sight of the two witches holding hands sent Sirius's pulse racing and the thought of Malfoy screwing Harry was soon replaced with the image of Ginny and Hermione locked in a passionate kiss above him.

He was startled when a heavy hand was placed on his shoulder. Remus was watching them walk up the stairs as well, he was still flushed from laughter, and a stupid grin plastered on his face.

"I hope you appreciate what you've got there Padfoot, you don't deserve them," it wasn't said harshly, more a statement of fact.

"No I don't deserve them, and they deserve better than me. But I'm going to enjoy them while I still have them", he responded turning to look at Remus as the girls were finally out of sight.

"What are you going to do if they make you choose by the end of the week?" Remus asked raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

"I don't know", Sirius whispered and shrugged off the taller mans hand and left for his own room knowing he wasn't going to be able to get any more sleep. He had been tossing and turning for around an hour when he heard his door creak open slightly.

"Who's there?" he whispered peering into the dark and recognizing the bushy mop of hair.

"It's just me," Hermione whispered shutting the door and walking toward him in the dark. He felt the mattress dip as she got in beside him.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok," she said turning to him and resting her cheek against his shoulder. He slipped an arm around her waist and hugged her closer, enjoying the company and warmth.

"Why wouldn't I be alright?" he asked gruffly turning his face and smelling the faint scent of her floral shampoo.

"A lot has happened since yesterday morning. I don't want you to think we are all against you or something", she was rubbing her hand in maddening circles on his naked chest and he was finding it hard to concentrate. He didn't answer for a long time and she didn't press him. Eventually he began to relax into her.

"I'm sorry about everything Hermione; I should never have gone behind your back", he wasn't sure if she had heard him or not, he thought for a moment she had fallen asleep before she answered.

"No I'm sorry I was stupid enough to get angry. After all it's not like we ever agreed to see each other exclusively. I guess I was angry that I didn't see something going on sooner. I can't believe I was so blind"

Sirius chuckled and pulled back to look down at her face in the dark, "There is a first time for everything", he whispered before leaning in and taking her lips gently.

Sirius was doing the dishes the next morning the muggle way when the rest of the house woke up to the smell of bacon that Hermione was cooking on the other side of the kitchen. Ginny came in looking like she had been swept up by a typhoon, her hair standing in odd angles, matching Harry's everyday look. Draco looked for all the world like he had just spent the morning in the bathroom and Remus was still smiling like a maniac.

"Morning", he greeted merrily having been the last to enter the now cramped kitchen, "I trust we all slept well", he grinned as he sat down and poured himself some coffee flicking open the Daily Prophet smiling at the something on the front page knowing he wasn't going to get any responses from his tired housemates.

"How are your eyes Harry?" Ginny asked running her fingers through her tangled hair trying to tame it unsuccessfully.

"Still can't see" he mumbled and pushed his glasses up his nose, he obviously couldn't get out of the habit of wearing them even though he didn't need them. Nobody mentioned the fact the he was now speaking again, they decided one step at a time to get him to recover from seeing the man who was a close as a father should be pleasuring himself in the shower. Of course, last night performance with Draco had put them on equal footing so it wasn't so bad.

There was a knock at the front door and Draco got up to answer it re-entering the kitchen a few seconds later with Fred and George hot on his heels.

"We smelled bacon and decided to pop in to visit our favorite little sister and have breakfast with our favorite extended family before work" One of them said, nobody was sure if it was Fred or George. They slipped off their jackets and hung them on the coat rack in the corner before sitting down side by side.

"How's mum?" Ginny yawned, dodging one of their hands as they went to ruffle her hair.

"Oh you know mum, always on about something or other. This week Charlie was a day late sending her his usual owl and she's been nagging about responsibility. You're lucky you escaped when you did", the three Weasley's laughed and discussed their mother's antics until Hermione placed heaping plates in the centre of the table.

"Help yourselves, I have to run upstairs to get ready for work", she barely stopped to grab a piece of toast as she ran out into the hall.

"Harry you coming' around later? Were having a Quidditch match tonight at the Burrow, we could use you as seeker" one of the twins asked spooning scrambled eggs onto his plate.

"I don't think so", Harry mumbled his head bowed and Draco frowned.

"Oh come on Harry, we could flog Ron with you on out side," the other twin said eagerly.

"He's having some eye problems at the moment. So he really can't play," Draco told them.

"Hope its nothing serious" Fred, at least that's who they thought was now speaking said.

"Did you just wake up that way, have you had it checked out?" George asked. By now Remus was giggling madly behind his paper, which shook almost violently, Ginny and Sirius shot him glares.

"Not exactly," Harry mumbled not tracing circles on the table in front of him.

"Then what exactly happened?" the twins asked together suddenly very curious.

Sirius cleared his throat not wanting to know he was screwing their sister and Draco noticed this and grinned wickedly, before launching into the whole sordid tale. The twins were in gales of laughter by the end and all at Sirius's expense before finally calming down enough to start on their sister who whipped out her wand to hex them to oblivion.

Hermione walked into the room at the very moment and everyone looked up at her going very quiet. She paused and a small nervous smile formed on her lips as the oppressive silence spoke depths. Fred and George were the first to break the uncomfortable silence in the kitchen.

"So Hermione, we must say we are shocked," said Fred,

"Yes Hermione," George cut in placing unnecessary emphasis on her name and leering slightly "We are shocked that you're clacker has been deflowered already, we always thought you were saving yourself for us", he grinned cheekily.

"Yes shocked that someone's already explored the depths of your clam tunnel," Fred added in, feigning a look of hurt and betrayal.

"What are you talking about?" she asked her face turning red with fury and embarrassment.

"You know, gone to town on your lady bush," George grinned, a look imitated by his twin.

"Pumped you knee deep with gentleman juice", Fred sniggered

"Anointed you with the full honors of his manhood", George continued starting to laugh now too.

"Showered your pristine cheeks with milk white love", this was the final breaking point for the twins and they collapsed against each other in fits of laughter, tears streaming down their faces. The rest of the kitchens occupants did not find it nearly as amusing, accept for Remus that is, who was still hiding behind his paper.

Sirius who rose and grabbed the two by the scruffs of the necks slamming their heads together and effectively silencing their mirth.

"Aw, come now Sirius," Fred said, chuckling slightly

"Yeah no need to get like that," George added elbow him in the ribs and straightening his shirt.

"Don't you two have a shop to open?" Sirius growled wanting them out of the house before he killed them with his bare hands.

"As a matter of fact we do," George said and held out his elbow to Hermione was still looking mighty pissed off, "Can we escort you to your place of employment my dear?" he asked cordially and didn't give her a chance to protest as he put her hand there and held it so she couldn't escape. Fred moved to her other and did the same so she was effectively trapped between them.

"Bye" she said faintly looking back into the kitchen before being dragged out of the house. Sirius was happy to be rid of the Weasley boys.

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