"Break it."
Kabuto had cast it a simple genjutsu over Orochimaru, trying to see what the sannin did to break it. Orochimaru sometimes used up too much chakra trying to break a genjutsu; he wasn't much of the "efficient-severe" method. Instead, he tended to thrash around, trying to break his opponent's hold and possibly injure them at the same time. The problem was that he used up too much chakra, and he could possibly injure himself in addition to the enemy, who receive minimal damage compared to what Orochimaru might have done to himself.
Orochimaru was picking up Kabuto's methods quickly; just as Kabuto thought. The sannin was a genius, and a swift learner. Kabuto used this to his advantage, and Orochimaru didn't seem to mind. As long as something happened…
"Again!"
The genjutsu snapped, and Kabuto replaced it easily. Orochimaru sighed, and abruptly stopped his chakra flow to his brain. The genjutsu fell again, and Kabuto exhaled, standing up. Orochimaru collapsed to the ground, panting, his chakra exhausted. Kabuto leaned over him, a small smile on his face.
"You're still using too much chakra."
"Bite me."
Kabuto leaned over even farther and placed a gentle kiss on Orochimaru's forehead. "Okay."
"Not here, you retard."
"Okay."
"Grrrrrrr…get off."
"No."
Orochimaru sighed, and his tongue flicked out of his mouth. "I can always-"
"I'm moving."
Kabuto stood up and took both of Orochimaru's hands in his, leaning back and trying to pull the sannin up. Orochimaru whined and set his weight against Kabuto's.
"I'm too tired to moooooooove."
"Don't make him move," someone muttered. Kabuto turned his head to see Tayuya leaning against the doorframe, a smug smile on her face.
"Last time I tried that he nearly bit my face off."
Kabuto sighed. "Too bad for you," he panted, "because he's moving!"
"No he's not."
"Twenty bucks."
"He's not moving!"
"Forty."
"Done!"
Tayuya went over to Kabuto and ducked underneath Orochimaru, who was half-up and still protesting. "Where?'
"Lower back, please?"
Tayuya pressed two fingers into Orochimaru's lower back, producing an indignant squeal. Orochimaru jumped forward, and Kabuto picked up his legs and shoulders.
"I win."
"You suck so much dick."
"I know."
Orochimaru stuck out his tongue, causing Kabuto to grab it and pull. Orochimaru extended his neck, reached up, and bit Kabuto firmly on the hand. Kabuto sighed and released him.
"Now pay up!" Tayuya demanded. Kabuto sighed again and walked out of the room, carrying Orochimaru.
"Just come with me," he said quickly, seeing Tayuya's face. Tayuya gave an exaggerated sigh and rolled her eyes, but followed Kabuto back to his room. She opened the door for him and followed him in, then waited in the kitchen area of Kabuto's apartment while Kabuto put Orochimaru in his room.
Kabuto set Orochimaru in his bed, suddenly realizing that the sannin had fallen asleep already. Aw…that's cute.
Tayuya walked in, still smirking. "He really is cute, isn't he? When he isn't trying to snap people's heads from their necks and he's just…I want to say asleep, but that's kind of redundant…"
Kabuto shrugged. "This is probably the only time I will ever be able to get away with this…"
He leaned forward and brushed Orochimaru's raven-colored hair out of his face, then kissed him softly, leaving him sleeping quietly. He motioned to Tayuya to follow him out, which Tayuya did willingly. Either she really wanted her money, or she didn't want to be there if and when Orochimaru woke up. Probably both…
"Here." Kabuto handed Tayuya her pay, and Tayuya counted it out. She nodded, satisfied, and walked out with a wave. Kabuto exhaled and went to the fridge. He was hungry, and hadn't eaten lunch yet-something he really wanted to do.
"Kabuto, you're an ass."
Kabuto grinned. "So you were awake. Well, I kind of thought so, since your temperature usually drops a few degrees when you sleep. And your breathing evens-neither of which had happened with you. So I knew you weren't actually asleep. But hey, it did look cute."
Orochimaru snorted. "You better not pull anything like that again, otherwise I will 'wake up' and pummel you into the ground."
Kabuto couldn't help but laugh at this-Orochimaru looked like he had just woken up-disoriented and somewhat confused.
"Do you want something to eat?"
Orochimaru nodded. "Please."
While Kabuto searched for lunch, he talked to Orochimaru. "Any idea where the Akatsuki are at now?"
Orochimaru shook his head. "None. I've spent so much time on it…even my best tracking ninja are looking, but so far no word from them."
Kabuto looked down. "You know…they might be…"
Orochimaru nodded. "That's what I'm afraid of. But on the other hand, if they died, that means that we could find the bodies and that might point us in a direction…"
Kabuto nodded. "I might be able to figure that out…if they died, if we can find the bodies, and if we're lucky-very, very lucky…"
Orochimaru sighed. "But what if they died and we can't find the bodies? And what if the Akatsuki can find a few village secrets in them; they were top jounin. And the Akatsuki are decent at sniffing out…anything, really. So…we're screwed, really-bottom line."
Kabuto exhaled and straightened. "Then it's time enough for me to do something. I'm not just waiting for these half-assed bitches to hurt you again. I'm sick of that; no. This time, it's different. I'm taking my whole ass and whooping all of theirs, and it's also high time that my bloodline came through, don't you think?"
A smile came to Orochimaru's lips. "Yes, I think it's time you proved yourself to Sasori…show him it wasn't all me."
"Breaking through that isn't going to be easy…and your genjutsu is still weak."
"Not for long," Orochimaru growled. "I've been hiding a little jutsu from you for a while."
Kabuto smiled. "Too late." He held up a scroll, covered with Orochimaru's scribbles and scrawls almost the entire length.
"You dropped it during training, so naturally I picked it up and read it. A jutsu to copy a jutsu…brilliant, Orochimaru-sama."
Orochimaru smiled. "I 'borrowed' the idea from Sasuke-kun. I watched him copy a jutsu from me-one that will probably backfire and kill him since I don't think he has the chakra for it yet-but I watched him and this struck me."
Kabuto nodded. "So, how does it work?"
"In short, I mold my chakra to record the hand signs and amount of chakra used in what way, and I burn it into a scroll later. Then I go back over it and teach myself."
Kabuto nodded. "Simple, yet elegant. I love it."
Orochimaru shrugged. "I'm not too excited yet. I still have to test it."
Kabuto shrugged. "Copy this genjutsu reversal."
Orochimaru looked pensive. "Well, if anything goes wrong, you can heal me and/or yourself, so I guess so."
Orochimaru cast a genjutsu over Kabuto. "Okay, release it."
Kabuto quickly released the genjutsu, and Orochimaru's chakra caught every second of it. "Perfect!" he called out, and Kabuto handed him a blank scroll. Orochimaru burned the chakra into the scroll and waited. Kabuto came up on his side and peeked over his shoulder.
Kana started showing up in the form of the jutsu on the scroll.
Kabuto grinned. "Operation Copy Cat is now go!"
Orochimaru smiled. "Ah yes, it all came out perfectly, didn't it?"
Kabuto skimmed over the writing, nodding as he went. "Hai, it's all exactly as I did it."
Orochimaru's smile broadened. "Then give me a few days to learn this, and then we can start working on the Akatsuki."
"Kabuto-sama!"
Kabuto whipped around to see an Otonin barreling towards him. "What?!"
"The Akatsuki are back!"
"So soon?!" Kabuto yelped. "God, they're either stupid or really, really, smart-"
"What now?"
"Summon Manda," Kabuto said. "I'm going to hold them off."
"Can you?"
Orochimaru had suddenly entered a state of panic; all he wanted was Kabuto next to him. He felt an impending sense of doom, but his pride was battling with himself-tell Kabuto, or not?
"Kabuto! I think there's something wrong here-!"
Tayuya, Jiroubou, Kidomaru, and Sakon came bursting in, looking panicked as well. "Orochimaru-sama, the Akatsuki are back, and they're back with a vengeance!" Kidomaru yelled. "Come with us, we're going to get you out of here!"
Orochimaru's hands tightened into fists at his sides.
"Orochimaru-sama?" Tayuya said hesitantly.
"No. I'm not running anymore."
"Kabuto!" Tayuya called. "He's crazy!"
Kabuto sighed. "I know. Orochimaru-sama, come on! If we're going to hold them off, we should do it now!"
Orochimaru smiled and nipped at the skin of his finger. "True enough," he said, and began forming the hand signs for a summoning. "Kuchiyose no jutsu!!"
A large purple snake appeared in a cloud of smoke.
Manda did not look happy at being called, but he lowered his head and let Orochimaru climb on.
"Don't worry," the sannin soothed, "I have sacrifices for you."
Manda snorted. "They had better taste good."
Orochimaru smiled. "Akatsuki."
Manda's long tongue flickered in and out of his mouth, licking his lips. "Ooooo, I like. Orochimaru, how do you do it?"
Orochimaru's smile broadened. "If you can kill them, you can have them."
Manda grinned. "Motivation enough. Point me in a direction."
Tayuya patted Manda's flank. "Take care of him, buddy."
Manda hissed, but his attention was soon diverted to the door, which was being slashed apart by katanas. Orochimaru held out a hand, a single finger extended.
"Bite, chew, swallow."
Itachi swore. "Oh, so those puny 'guards' had a purpose, huh? No-fail alarm system."
Kisame's hands were back over his shoulder, holding the hilt of Samehada. Deidara's hands were both in clay pouches on either side of his torso, chewing up clay and molding it. Sasori was holding a summoning scroll, and Zetsu was flickering around the room. Hidan was holding his massive scythe, and Kakuza was forming the first signs of a jutsu. Orochimaru saw them beginning to fan out, and looked around for Kabuto. The genin was directly behind him, and he slipped his own hand into Orochimaru's.
"Go," he whispered. "I'm behind you the entire time."
"Thank you."
Kabuto nodded and gently pushed him forward. Orochimaru took the opportunity to call upon Kusanji in all its vengeance. The sword welled up in his throat; Orochimaru opened his mouth and the blade emerged, deadly point first. Orochimaru caught the hilt when it came out, letting the sword fall to his side. His hands tightened on its golden hilt, and he gently tapped Manda's head; it was his way of telling the snake to get himself in gear. Manda obliged, coiling himself and preparing to strike. Orochimaru crouched down; brace for impact. The snake lunged forward, jaws opening. Surprised shouts from the Akatsuki echoed throughout the room as the startled men leapt backwards.
"Give us the ring and we'll leave you alive!" Itachi called. Orochimaru leapt off Manda's head just as the huge snake took a bite out of the wall, missing the Akatsuki by hairs. Orochimaru gave a disparaging snort.
"Please. You'd only torture me to death."
"Your kiss-up little pig over here would probably jump in and save you before that ever happened," Hidan sneered. "Freshman."
Kabuto raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't be talking, shrimp," he spat. "From what I hear, you're pretty slow. Retard."
"You fight like girls!!"
"..."
"Wooooooooooooooooo!"
"Ye-ouch!"
Catcalls and cheers alike echoed throughout the room as Tayuya began spouting off her mouth. Orochimaru sighed. The girls' tongue alone was as deadly as Kusanji; and certainly as sharp.
"Your momma's a wimp! Musta passed that on!"
"Ooooo, another ouchi!" Jiroubou called.
"Your momma's a turd! But you're bird turd!"
"It's hot!" Kidomaru yowled. "Man, that one stings!"
"I don't like your girlfriend! Oh, right: the last person you raped was a guy!!"
Kisame poked Itachi. "You know, I think these are directed at you."
Itachi could hear the laughter in his voice.
"Hey fish sticks!"
Itachi snorted. "That was for you, mi amigo."
"You smell like Kabuto's lab!"
Kabuto sighed and put his face in his hands. "It better not be barbeque sauce again."
"No, honey, it's chewing gum."
Kabuto groaned and sank to his knees. "Why must you put me through this hell?"
"We feel like it. And Bird Turd, don't move from that fucking spot, otherwise I will spray your ass with something unpleasant."
"Whoa, man, that was mean!" Kisame said, pretending to flinch back. "It burns, it burns!!"
"It wasn't even for you!" Itachi yelped. "God, you are such a friggin' retard!!"
Kisame sighed. "It still burns, dude. That girl has such a bad mouth…is she even a girl?"
"Dammit, motherfucker, you better believe I'm a girl!! What guy in their right mind wears a dress?!"
Orochimaru hid a snort behind his hand at the sound of Tayuya's extreme swearing. Kabuto collapsed on the ground, spread-eagled, and said,
"Just…fucking…kill me…just…kill…me…now…"
Orochimaru sighed. Well, this was going well…
A/N:…I love Tayuya…she's my role model…can you believe me?