I'm baaaaack

I know. You're all like 'WTF NO. DIE, IDIOT, DIE."

I only assume this because only Kuri-Kara is reviewing.

Thank you, Kuri-Kara. :D

So, anyway, you others should review.

Or else face the wrath of Raine's onions.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned in previous chapters, Biurets, Aloe Vera, InuYasha, Azumanga Daioh, Shoe of Moses, DBZ in a Nutshell (you'll understand that I sorta did a spoof off of it once you get to it… if you've heard DBZ in a Nutshell. xDD), Corky's Pest Control, the games 'Go Fish' and DDR, One Piece, Route 66, Get Your Kicks on Route 66, True Naruto Style (another spoof), the Macarena, Peeps, Marsh of Marshmallows, Chrno Crusade, Prince of Tennis, Teen People, Shonen Jump, Shoujo Beat, Outdoor Living or Lands End (Landsend…?)

Chapter seven: Of Food and Inanimate Objects!

So, the plug-it-in, right?

Yeah.

But, that's no longer important, since they decided to go sleep.

Right then and there.

So, anyway, they then left the village and headed off in a random direction.

"OW," Malfoy suddenly shouted, holding his arm.

"What?" Raine asked, looking at his arm, "Wow, that's a lot of dead skin cells – YOU GOT BIURETS ON YOUR ARM, DIDN'T YOU?! WASH IT, BASTARD!"

She kicked him to the river and threw a soap bottle at him, hitting him in the head.

Raine has earned the title 'Child Abuser!'

"ABUSE: MALFOY'S SURVIVAL–!" Kakashi shouted.

"NO!" Everyone interrupted.

"Sorry…"

Malfoy came back, arm washed.

"PUT SOME ALOE VERA ON IT!" Raine said, "Anyone got any?"

"You're a healer – shouldn't you have some?" Winry asked

"That's for me,"

"Ah… that makes sense…"

All of a sudden, Bo-bobo's 'fro opened up to another Bo-bobo. That Bo-bobo's 'fro opened to another and another and yet another until, finally, Kageriluv and Kuri-Kara popped out.

"WHERE'S INUYASHA?!" Kageriluv asked

"He's not IN this fic!" Rukia replied

"Oh…" Kageriluv said and ran off shouting, "INUYASHA! GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE!"

Kuri-Kara, meanwhile, jumped on Kakashi.

"YOU AGAIN!" Cried said victim. Kuri-Kara stole his forehead band and ran off.

"Why… does she keep coming back?" Vader asked

Kakashi shrugged and got out another forehead band, putting it on.

"What about my arm?!" Malfoy asked

"Oh…" Raine said, "FIRST AID!" And his arm was healed.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT EARLIER?!" Malfoy asked

"Dunno," Raine replied.

Suddenly, a cat came out and everyone was like, '-stare-'

And the cat was like, '-meow-'

… Well, what else would it do? Yeah, a cat's really gonna shout 'G37 4W4Y, F00LZ!'

"GET AWAY, FOOLZ!" The cat hissed.

See? It didn't use halfway-1337:D

"A cat," Itachi stated the obvious.

"KITTEH!" Malfoy shouted, attempting to pet it.

BUT, THE CAT BITZOR HIM!

"Ooh, just like Azumanga Daioh!" Winry said, eating popcorn.

Vader went to help Malfoy take the cat off his hand, but Malfoy was waving the cat around mindlessly, succeeding in 'placing' it on Vader's helmet.

The cat let go, sticking to the helmet.

Raine got out her Onion Gun and shot at the cat.

"I THOUGHT YOU GOT RID OF THAT THING!" Kakashi shouted.

"AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Raine has earned the title 'Animal Abuser!'

"Wow," Rukia said, "Two titles in one chapter."

The cat hissed and ran off.

And then a demon cow came and attacked Bo-bobo!

Well…

Attempted to, anyway.

"BAH." Shouted the cow as he ran at Bo-bobo, "THIS IS PAYBACK FOR THAT ATTACK!"

Yes, ladies and gentlemen – it IS, indeed, Pedro from the first chapter!

"Payback?" Bo-bobo asked, scratching his cheek.

"YOU DON'T REMEMBER?!"

"NO!" Bo-bobo shouted, flinging potted plants at poor Pedro.

"OH, YEAH?!" Pedro cried, getting out a talisman, "THE ENEMY OF FEET EVERYWHERE! I SUMMON THEE! COME! SHOE OF MOSES!"

And a shoe flew out of the sky.

It was blue.

It had wings.

It had Velcro.

"THE SHOE OF MOSES?!" Itachi asked, dodging said footwear monster.

"TAKE THIS!" Raine shouted, waving her staff around wildly, "ONION JUICE!"

And the shoe was sprayed with onion juice from some unknown place, but it was actually a fire hose.

The shoe was now very angry and caused a storm!

"OH NO! IT'S RAINING MATH PROBLEMS!" Vader shouted.

"ALGEBRA, TO BE EXACT!" Malfoy added.

"UMBRELLA!" Raine shouted and a large, transparent umbrella covered them all as the math problems bounced off.

"NO!" Cried Pedro and the shoe.

"THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN!" Kakashi yelled, throwing rocks at the shoe.

"SHUN THE SHOE!" Itachi suggested. He and the others put their hands up to the shoe.

"SHUNNNNNNN!" They shouted. Fai came out and sprayed the shoe with bugspray.

"Call 1-800-901-1102! CORKY'S!" Fai sang as he took the shoe to wherever he and Mokona go to wait for when they're needed.

"God any fours?" Sasuke asked

"Go fish! Go fish!" Mokona said

"Darn…"

"Mary-suee! Got any sixes?"

"Lik heer," said the Mary-sue, handing them to the odd creature.

"Yay! Yay! Mokona has another match!" Mokona said.

Meanwhile, our favorite group was arranged in a circle.

"We should go," Malfoy said.

"YA-YO-YA-YO! DREAMIN'! DON'T GIVE IT UP, LUFFY!" Vader shouted before being whacked by Winry's wrench.

"Let's go," Kakashi said, standing up.

A sign popped down and said, 'To advance the plot – take Route 66. To not advance the plot – don't take Route 66,"

"GET YOUR KICKS ON ROUTE 66!" Vader shouted.

So, with that, they took Route 66.

"We're… not in America, though," Malfoy said.

"NOBODY ASKED YOU!" Raine shouted, kicking him.

"I WAS MAKING A POINT!"

"HEY! DON'T IGNORE ME!" Pedro interrupted, but was drop-kicked by Rukia.

"LET'S GO!" Rukia cried, "GO! GO! GO! MOVE IT! MOVE IT! COME ON, GIRLSCOUTS! LET'S GO! HUP-TWO! HUP-TWO!"

and they ran as if they were in the army.

Rukia was like a drill sergeant.

They jumped over walls, ran through tire hoops, crawled on the ground until…

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Asked an overly large Carrot.

"Getting away from Pedro the Demon Cow," Winry said simply.

"FIRST, YOU MUST PASS A TEST!" Carrot shouted.

Walls dropped all around them and desks fell down.

Like… from the sky.

"OW!" Malfoy said, being stupid enough to stand under one of the said raining desks that were falling directly towards where he was standing.

"SORRY!" Shouted a seagull.

"WHAT'S THE TEST?!" Raine shouted eagerly, banging her pencil and fist on the desk.

"I want you to draw…" Carrot said, "A DRAGON!"

"A DRAGON?!" Rukia and Vader shouted.

"YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!" yelled someone. Two brussel sprouts came in and and-cuffed Carrot.

"NO!" Carrot cried.

"YES!" The brussel sprouts sang. Suddenly, everything disappeared and Kakashi did the Macarena.

"HEY, MACARENA!" Shouted the speakers of which Itachi was the DJ.

"HEY-HEY-HEY-HE-HE-HEY, MACARENA!"

"LET'S GO, BITCHEZ," Raine shouted.

AND THEN SOME GUY CAM EOUT OF NOWHERE AND GLOMPED RAINE!

"OFF, BASTARDO!" Raine shouted, her onion gun at the ready.

"But u r rely hawt," Said the (obvious) Gary-Stu.

"Therefore, you should be burnt to a crisp!" Raine shouted, attempting to shoot him with onions.

Kakashi got to him first, though, with his mighty THOUSAND YEARS OF BEING PELTED BY ERASERS!

So, he was pelted by erasers.

And more erasers.

And more.

And—

"GET ON WITH THE PLOT ALREADY!" Everyone shouted.

I'M SORRY I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK. GAWD.

So, anyway, they shunned the Gary-Stu, who joined Fai and Co.

"I'm back," Francis said, holding groceries.

"FOOD," Sasuke cried, pouncing on him and grabbing the Peeps, "MINE!" and he clawed at anyone who tried to take them.

"Hi im gary-stu," Said the Gary-Stu continuously pelted by erasers, "hoo r u"

"Mokona is Mokona!" Mokona said.

"Shoe of Moses,"

"Fai!"

"Francis,"

"mary-sue,"

They all looked at Sasuke, who was munching on his food.

"What?" he asked, "NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY!"

"Gary, here, wants to know your name," Francis replied.

"Sasuke,"

So, anyway, after 'Go fish' was over, the group played DDR.

Back to Raine and her group!

"ONWARD!" Vader shouted, pointing in a random direction and following it.

"Um… Vader," Winry said, "There's a–"

"AHH!" Vader cried, falling.

"–ditch…" Winry finished

So, after Vader recovered, he pointed in another random direction and followed it.

"THAT'S THE WAY WE CAME!"

"RIGHT! I KNEW THAT!" Vader said, pointing in another random direction.

"There's a mote there with–" Kakashi started.

"OUCH!"

"–crocodiles…"

Again with the pointing.

"And there's a cliff there!"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! THAT'S AN ONION PATCH! DON'T SMASH THE ONIONS, YOU ONION-SMASHER!"

You can probably guess who said that.

"That's a marsh, idiot. Full of Marshmallows,"

Vader has earned the title 'Directionally Challenged!'

"We go this way!" Bo-bobo said.

"WHO DIED AND MADE YOU CAPTAIN?!" Vader shouted.

"You," Malfoy answered, "several times."

And he began to choke.

"…" Itachi said.

Winry yelled, "VADER, STOP FORCE-CHOKING HIM!"

Vader whined, "NOT ME!" as Malfoy breathed correctly again.

"Sorry, air went down the wrong pipe," Malfoy said.

Everyone facefell.

"CHOKING: MALFOY'S SUR–"

"NO!" Raine shouted, throwing an onion at him.

So, they continued down Route 66 in the direction Bo-bobo had mentioned.

But, meanwhile, they didn't know that a very… evil persion was watching them…

"AHAHAHAHA!!" Laughed the crazy man that was watching them through the magical fishbowl.

"Yes, your Highness?" said a midget.

"Look, I've found them, midget," said Crazy-man.

Crazy-man's real name was Aion.

Yes, the very same from Chrno Crusade.

You know your manga! YAY!

Ahem…

"Fiore, get me dinner," Aion said.

"Yes, sir,"

"And tell Inui about that crack pairing I came up with. You know the guy – from Prince of Tennis,"

"Yes, sir,"

"What are you still doing here?"

"Renewing your subscriptions to Teen People, Shonen Jump, Shoujo Beat, Outdoor Living, and Landsend,"

"Oh, thanks. What's the next thing on your list?"

"Make your dinner,"

"Okay, hurry,"

"Yes, sir,"

Suddenly, Malfoy sneezed.

"HE'S CONTAGIOUS!" Winry cried, forcing everyone into germ suits as she pleaded with Raine to heal Malfoy.

Winry has earned the title 'No germs for me:D'

"WHEW!" sighed said worry wart.

Itachi pointed and shouted, "HEY, AREN'T YOU THAT CHICK THAT'S CROSSED-OVER WITH KABUTO?!"

"Yes," Winry replied.

"'Kay, then," Itachi said simply as they continued their walking.

TO BE CONTINUED…

What did Itachi mean?

Why does Raine still have her onion gun?

WHY THE HELL IS AION HERE?!

The answer?

Because I made it so.

Any more questions for characters? Huh? Huh?

REVIEW. :D