Part IV: The Exciting Ending, that probably will be a letdown.
At the King of Town's goofy looking castle, a party of sorts was in the works. A party of one.
In his throne room, the King of Town was gorging himself on a canned ham slathered with butter and tartar sauce and sprinkled with powdered hot cocoa mix. It was only the fourth in a series of hams the goofy, powerless monarch planned to consume that day.
Everything was coming to fruition. Project Homsar would be a success and pave the way for his ultimate plan. A plan where he'd truly be the King of Town. No longer the uncool old dude no one wanted to hang out with or play video games with or gobble down whole sides of bacon soaked in salsa verde and covered in crumbled saltines with. Sure, he could order his servants to do so but it wasn't the same. People would love him. People would WANT to hang with the KOT.
As he began work on his fifth ham, the King sensed something...someone was in the throne room with him. Who...?
"OK you idiot, what's the deal with marketing that midget up and down the place? WHAT IS YOUR STUPID MORON PLAN?!?" Strong Bad stood nearby, having crawled in through a window. The King noted he should really get glass or bars over those windows some day.
"Doo hoo hoo hoo! Why, I have no idea what you're talking about Strong Bad. I'm just enjoying a little snack is all. I don't have any secret plans or corporate fronts or Project Homsars in the works!"
Strong Bad pointed a boxing glove right at the King's face. "AH HA, I knew you were up to something. Thankfully, you are such a idiotface...you make it too easy sometimes. TOK Enterprising Enterprises is your company isn't it? They're responsible for every Homsar related thing I've been tortured with for the past few weeks! I saw your creepy little chef guy hanging around the office. He must have been keeping an eye on things for you. Why is it you are trying to turn Homsar into a media king, Kingy?"
Nervously, the KOT looked around, feeling on the spot. "Doo hoo, I'm going to make him popular. I'll make him too popular! Soon, everyone will be sick of Homsar and seeing him and hearing him. Then, oh then I'll stop and get rid of the sitcom, the book, the ads, everything. He'll be forgotten. Then I'll move on to...Homestar! Pom Pom! Coach Z! Even you! Homsar is a test, doo hoo! He's even more popular than me around here, so I'll make people sick of him, then I'll make everyone sick of everyone else more popular than me! MEDIA OVERSATURATION, DOO HOO! So then, I'll be the most popular King of Town in Town! People will love me as they should. No longer will I be a joke!"
Strong Bad considered things for a moment. "Really. That's a pretty dumb, badly thought out plan. Even considering YOU thought it up, it's pretty dumb. I mean, how do you expect to become popular just because you THINK you can make some other people unpopular?"
For a moment, the King of Town thought. As much as he could, that is. "Well, doo hoo. I really didn't think that far. Well, whatever. I will not stop, I've put too much time and effort into this! It will work, it must work! No one can stop me!"
Strong Bad punched the King of Town in the gut.
"All right. I need to make some phone calls, doo hoo doodily hoo. I'll shut it down. Everything. It was going to be so golden. GOLDEN!"
"Well your problem Kingy...one of them anyways, is that you're unpopular because you're a creepy weirdo who eats like a pig and no one likes being around you. You blew all this money and such on a big fat waste of time. Sad really. Tsk tsk tsk."
With that, Strong Bad left. The King of Town made some calls and began scarfing down hams as comfort food instead of as a celebratory feast. Many bitter tears were shed by him that day.
-
Within a week, the Homsar media juggernaut was done. The sitcom was canned. The one billboard plastered with Homsar's face had been replaced by an ad for Li'l North Wind Air Conditioning Systems. Homsar posters were removed from walls around town. Those that were left would fade or be covered over by other posters, forgotten. No Homsar on the evening news, no Homsar on the written page. The Homsar plague, started by the wildly misguided and inept KOT, was over.
-
While pleased that he could no longer turn on the TV and see Homsar's stupid face on it, Strong Bad realized that since he was no longer occupied Homsar would be hanging around again. Already he had come by the house today, annoucing himself with "Duuu-ahhhhhh-ahhhhhhhh, I TOLD YOU TOMMY, THEY MAKE A FINE CUP OF COFFEE HERE!" Now he was in Strong Sad's room, playing some weiner doofus dorkotronic board game with that little moronhead brother.
Strong Bad retreated to his basement sanctuary with a plate stacked with piping hot mircowave mini-pizzas and a hankering to watch some TV. Maybe...ah, a Wackiest Pets and Car Crashes marathon. He hunkered down with The Cheat on the couch.
"You know, The Cheat, even though no one really knows I helped get Homsar off the air and stopped the town from being papered over in Homsar posters I don't mind not getting the rightful accolades I deserve. 'cause I'm a modest guy you know? Virtue is it's own reward. Or petard. Or something. Whatever."
"Meh meh."
"Just call me the Unknown Hero. Unknown Man. The Great Unknown. The Unknown Stuntman-" Strong Bad paused for a moment then broke out into warbly song "-who makes Eastwood look so fine!"
"Meh meh meh."
"Right, I'll stop that. Aren't we touchy?"
-
END