Disclaimer: I do not own anything Supernatural, it is all property of the CW11 Network, and whatnot, so don't sue me, please.
Chapter 3
After countless minutes of giving in to despair, John and Dean Winchester got a hold of themselves and quickly gained some semblance of composure. Dean was the first to leave the showers, quickly dressing in his jeans and the scrubs top.
It was strange, eventhough he'd thoroughly washed himself, he could still feel Sammy's blood on his arms.
It made his already empty stomach roll uncomfortably.
Why wouldn't the feeling go away?
Why did it feel like he was still covered in his baby brother's blood?
Why wouldn't it go away?
He wanted it to go away.
He didn't want to feel this way anymore.
John quickly dressed himself in the green scrubs and then gathered up his and Dean's blood soaked clothes, he found a plastic back and quickly stuffed the ruined garments inside. He threw them into the biohazard bin on the far wall, there was no way they would be able to wash the blood off of them, hell, they wouldn't be able to wear them even if they did.
He had only one thing on his mind right now.
His family.
He turned and eyed his oldest son, who was standing near the door, waiting for him.
Dean looked absolutely miserable, his eyes were red and puffy from crying, his face was drawn in, and to John silent heartache, he was unconsciously rubbing his hands over his arms, which were slightly red from being scrubbed very hard.
John swallowed thickly before he slowly made his way over to his son.
" Kiddo?" He asked softly as he came to gently grip Dean's shoulder and give in a firm squeeze.
Dean allowed the contact for a moment before he loosely shrugged his father's hand away and turned to look at John, a mask of stoicism etched into his face.
" We have to go upstairs to the OR." Said Dean, his voice hard and his gaze determined.
John nodded before he and Dean quickly rushed to the elevator, Dean paused a split second to ask what floor the OR was on.
To their chagrin, it was at the very top, on the nineth floor.
" Dammitt." Hissed Dean as he paced from one end of the elevator to another. John figitted as he kept his gaze glued to the light that indicated there progress.
It was by far, the slowest elevator ride John and Dean had ever had to endure in their whole lives.
The number slowly increase.
5... 6... 7... 8... and then finally...
The door began to open with a soft ping but, Dean was out of the elevator before the doors were fully open, John close behind.
The two Winchester's trotted to the front desk, where they startled the nurse on the other side.
" Nurse, they brought a young man up here not to long ago for emergency surgery. His name is Sam Winchester, where did they take him?" Asked Dean frantically.
John was about to tell her to hurry up and tell them when another Nurse piped up.
" Sir, he's still in surgery in OR 3. You can't go in there, I'll show you to the waiting room." She said, her voice calm and collected as she stared down the two frantic men.
She sent Dean a warning look when he took a step in the direction of the operating room.
John got the hint that this was one nurse that wouldn't be intimidated so easily. Her eyes were a stunning blue-green against a pale caramel, heart-shaped face. Ebony black hair pulled back in a ponytail. And though she was a few inches shorted than Dean, she seemed an imposing figure in her own right.
He gently gripped Dean by the arm and pulled his son in the opposite direction as the nurse led them to the stark white waiting room.
" Don't worry, he's made it this far. I doubt he'll give up that easily." Said the Nurse with a quiet, reassuring smile.
John and Dean both nodded wordlessly before they sank into the waiting, blue cusioned chairs.
They finally gave in a little to the bone deep exhaustion this whole mess had caused.
The clock on the opposite wall showed the time.
It was 1:OO in the morning.
" Man that is unbelievable. It's only been an hour and a half since..." Dean trailed off as the events of the night replayed themselves in his mind with perfect clarity.
" He'll pull through Dean, he's..." John began when Dean interjected with a sad, humorless smile.
" A Winchester, we always pull through." He said quietly, his voice trembled for a second, but only a second. With a deep sigh, Dean lean forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his knees before craddling his chin in his hands, his finger obscuring his lips.
John leaned back in his seat until the back of his head was resting against the wall, his tired, forlorn eyes gazing up at the ceiling.
Dean stayed in his seat the total of about ten minutes before he rose to his feet and started pacing back and forth, his eyes always darting to the closed doors of of OR 3, the light indicating that it was in use burning a bright red in the distance.
" Don't you dare leave me Sammy cause if you do, I'll find a way to bring you back and kick your ass three ways to Sunday. Hell, you shouldn't even be in there Sammy, those were... those were my wounds." Thought Dean with a tremendous amount of guilt bubbling up from deep inside him as he all but wore a hole into the floor with his pacing.
John divided his gaze between watching Dean in his own anxiety and keeping an eyes on the OR door for any signs that the surgery was over.
" Please dear god, don't take my boy. He's just a kid. Please please please don't take my boy from me. I don't think I'd survive it, I don't think Dean could survive it." Thought John as he tried with all his might not to remember the way Sam had simple lain limp and unresponsive in his arms in the back of the Impala.
In all appearances, he'd looked dead in the car, only to literally 'die' for two minutes in the ER trauma room. Both John and Dean knew they wouldn't be getting any sleepin the near future. They knew that nightmares would run rampant through their exhausted minds.
For now, all father and oldest son could do was wait, and pray that their Sammy was going to make it.
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Three agonizingly long hours later...
" Alright, we got him stabilized. Good work people." Sighed the Chief surgeon as she gazed down at the young man laying on the gurney, out like a light but, very much alive.
" Think it'd be safe to move him to a room in ICU?" Asked one of the assisting doctors.
" In a little bit, let's let him rest for a little while. Poor baby's had a very long and rough night." Said the Surgeon with a small smile as she reached out to gently push a few of Sam's bangs away from his forehead before turning to leave the room.
She had to go see two very worried men in the waiting room.
At the two hour mark, Dean had stopped pacing and had sat back down in his chair, his legs were aching from the constant moving.
John had not moved an inch from where sat, his gaze now focused solely on OR 3.
He felt a jolt when the light indicating the room was in use suddenly turned off.
" Dean." Called John as he turned to his son and jerked his head towards the door.
The two Winchester's were alert and on their feet in an instant.
They were about to run headlong at the OR doors when an african american woman stepped out from behind them, wearing scrubs that were stained with a generous amount of blood.
It was enough to stop both men in their tracks.
The Doctor looked up from a thought she was contemplating as zeroed in on the two anxious and scrubs clad men staring back at her.
With a steadying breath, the Doctor made her way over to them.
John and Dean stood in silence as the watched the doctor's approach.
Inside, they felt like they were dying with each step the woman took towards them. A myriad of questions circled around in their heads.
Each step the Doctor took was in time to the pounding of two hearts.
Dean's ears ears were roaring as blood rushed to his head.
John felt like his lung were about to burst.
Then, she was standing before them, her face carefully blank and unreadable.
In that one moment, everything stopped as John and Dean stared at the Doctor who was about to tell them the fate of their Sammy.
The terror that coiled around the hearts of John and Dean Winchester was indescribable.
They watched as the Doctor let out a deep sigh, before she spoke.
" Are you the family of Sam Winchester?" She asked formally.
The two men nodded mutely and waited anxiously for her to continue.
Then, the world stopped as John and Dean watched a truely beautiful sight unfold before them.
They watched as a huge smile spread across the woman's face.
" He made through the surgery, we're gonna be moving him to a room in the ICU in a little while." Said the Doctor warmly.
She was met with stunned silence before Dean crumbled first, literally, as his knees gave out from under him.
" Dean! " Cried John, his voice thick with tears and his own relief as he caught Dean before he could hit the floor, the Doctor herself striving forward to give assistance.
Together, they helped Dean back into the waiting room chair.
The oldest Winchester son fell bonelessly into the chair as sobs of relief washed over him. He looked up with weepy green eyes at the Doctor.
" My brother's gonna be okay, right?" He asked, his voice clogged with emotion, making him sound so young.
John too turned at the Doctor and waited for her to answer.
" It's too early to be sure but, I think he'll be just fine, he's a very strong young man. I'd heard about what had happened down in the ER and to be honest... We didn't think he'd survive for another half hour, let alone three hours of surgery. But God knows, I'm not complaining that we were proven wrong. You'll be able to see him once he's been settled in a room." Said the Doctor with a beaming smile.
John and Dean smiled tearfully back at her before she took her leave with a small nod.
With a small sob of his own, John yank Dean into a tight, vice-like hug, which Dean returned. Father and son were both crying freely now.
Dean was clinging to his father with all that he had as John rubbed his back in soothing circles, whispering nonsense into his ear.
It was then that the guilt that had been nagging at the young man came out like a tsunami from deep within his soul.
" D-Dad... M'sorry... It's all my f-fault... Sammy... I... I'm so... S-sorry." Whispered Dean, sobs and hitching breaths breaking his speech.
At first, John was absolutely bewildered by this ludicrous statement, then he pulled back from Dean and gently held his face in his hand so that they were looking eye to eye.
" Dean, buddy, what're you talkin' about?" Asked John in a confusion.
Dean sniffed and let out another sob before he spoke words that would grind his father's already bleeding heart into dust.
" It should've been me in their Dad. N-Not Sammy." Dean trailed off as sobs overtook him once again.
" Oh Dean." Whispered John before he once again wrapped his arms around his oldest child, his chest hurting physically as he realized that Dean had been carry this along for so long.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, John once again pulled back and held Dean's face in his hands before he spoke.
" Dean, look at me son." He started in a firm, comanding voice that Dean instinctively obeyed as he stared into his father's fierce but still tearful eyes.
" Dean, it is not your fault, do you understand me? Listen to me Dean, you aren't the only one who feels this way. I mean... My youngest son's got a bullet wound in his leg that belongs to me but Dean, Sammy did whatever the hell it was he did back there to you because he loves you so much. To be honest, I'm not really makin heads or tails of what the hell's goin on, but this much I know, your brother loves you very much, he saved you..." Dean interupted him here.
" But Dad, he was dead... For two whole minutes my baby brother was dead." Sobbed Dean.
" That was then, he's here now. You heard the Doc, he pulled through, we're gonna see him in a little bit once they have him in a room. It's okay Dean, everything's gonna be okay." Said John as he once again pulled his son to him.
That seemed to calm Dean down and his tears stopped spilling in torents from his eyes.
To John's loving amusement, he watched as Dean blushed slightly in embarrassment.
He was Dean Winchester after all, he didn't do 'Chick-Flick'.
Dean sniffled and gave his father a tearful smile as he scrubbed at his eyes.
Meanwhile...
The Nurse with the Blue-green eyes let out a small sigh as she stood looming over Sam's unconscious form.
She leaned down till her lips were mere inches from Sam's ears. Sam may have been unconscious but, he would remember the words she was about to speak when he woke up.
" You're quiet strong Samuel Winchester, it's why the Demon wants you under his control so badly." She whispered with a sad little smile before continuing.
" It's my job to make sure that that never happens."