Disclaimer: I do not own anything Supernatural, it is all property of the CW11 Network, and whatnot, so don't sue me, please.
Chapter 15
It was well past midnight as far as Sam could tell as he lay staring up at the bleak white ceiling of his bedroom. The shadows of the late night dancing across the smooth surface.
Just about three months.
It had been just about three whole months since he'd been literally brought back from the dead, molecule by molecule. Brought back to this place, this sprawling home that was his for the remaining months and days.
His powers and abilities grew stronger and stronger with each passing day.
He'd already taken a huge chunk out of the library, and was almost half-way through absorbing all the books of ancient arts and magic.
But on this night, he just couldn't go to sleep.
He was restless and just, unsure.
His mind drifted to a few nights ago, and the dream he'd had... about a very much needed conversation with the second woman in his life he'd lost to the Yellow Eyes Demon.
Jessica Lee Moore.
His beautiful Jess.
The dream went like this...
Sam found himself standing in an endless, open field of golden, sun-kissed wheat, a clear blue sky above him.
" Where am I?" Asked Sam to himself.
" You're dreaming Sam." Came a soft, familiar voice.
Sam whirled around and felt his jaw go slack with absolute shock.
" J-Jess?" Whispered Sam once he'd regained the ability to talk.
There standing before him was Jessica, long blonde hair flowing free and shining in the sun, smiling softly and dressed in the white nightgown she'd been wearing the night she...
Sam felt tears well and fall from his eyes as he yelled out her name.
" JESS!" He cried as he bound towards her.
He didn't see her smile falter as she tried to stop him.
" Sam, wait..." She said sadly.
As Sam was about to wrap his arms around her, he let out a startled cry of shock as... he passed straight through her.
Sam stood stock still in utter disbelief.
He'd just passed straight through the woman he loved.
He'd just run straight through her.
He whirled around and stared at Jess with wide, tearfilled eyes.
" Jess what..." He trailed off when Jess shook her head sadly.
" Sam, you can't touch me or hold me like I want you to. I have no solid form anymore. I'm so sorry Sam." Whispered Jess her eyes filled with a deep sorrow.
" But Jess, how is this possible? How am I speaking to you? How can you be standing right here infront of me and I can't hold you or touch you?" Asked Sam desperately.
" Sam, I don't know how this possible but, you can talk to me now, after so long." Sighed Jess as she took a step closer to him.
She watched as Sam began to cry in earnest, bittersweet tears coursing down his face.
" It's not fair Jess, this isn't fair." He whispered.
" I know baby, I know. But, at least we get to see each other, that's something, right?" Said Jess with her own eyes gleaming.
" I want you back so badly, it hurt so bad after I lost you." Whispered Sam as he stared back tearfully at the woman he'd lost.
" I know Sam. But it can't be, I'm dead Sam. I can't come back. We were meant to know and love eachother for the time we did. Sam, I never blamed you for what happened to me." Said Jess softly.
" But I should've saved you. I knew you were gonna die and I did nothing." Cried Sam.
" Sammy please, listen to me, there was nothing you could've done for me. I was meant to die by the hands of the man with Yellow eyes. It wasn't your fault, it was never your fault." Said Jessica with ghostly tears falling from her eyes.
" Jess I-" Sam began but Jess cut him off.
" Sam, listen to me, it's not your fault. None of it is. Please stop blaming yourself. Please, understand, it's not your fault. Please." Begged Jessica with a sob.
" Sam, you have to let me go."
" But, I don't want to."
" Sam, you're still alive. You aren't betraying me by moving on. It's what I want, for you to go on living." Whispered Jessica.
Sam watched as Jessica began to fade away.
" Wait don't go! Jess wait! " Cried Sam as he strode forward and tried to grab her hand. It was futile as she began to melt away.
But, before she was totally gone she uttered a few final words.
" I will always love you Samuel Winchester. And I will always keep you in my spirit. Promise me, you'll keep going no matter what. Goodbye."
And then she was gone.
Sam had woken up after that, sitting bolt upright with tears streaming from his eyes, a whispered ' Jess ' on his lips.
That had been days before, now Sam lay awake in the wee hours of the night, remembering the dream.
With all the Ancient Latin spells and white magic he'd been absorbing into his mind, a new ability had manifested.
He could now speak to the dead, and as Alkaya had elaborated, in his dreams or by his own will, he could speak to those who've departed from the world of the living.
He was working on fine-tunning this new ability along with all his other powers and was slowly getting the hang of things.
But for now, he swung his long legs over the side of his bed and got up from his bed. He padded across the carpetted floor to the large window.
The skies were clear and the stars twinkled in the heavens.
Everything was still, peacfully quiet.
It was in this calmness that Sam whispered the words he'd wanted to say to Jess when they'd spoken to eachother.
" I love you too Jessica Lee Moore, there will always be a place in my heart just for you and you alone. Goodbye and may you forever be at peace where ever you are. And I will keep my promise, I will keep going no matter what."
As the last word was whispered, Sam felt a sense of release wash over him. He felt his soul grow lighter as he finally let go of the pain and self-impossed guilt that he'd been carrying since that fatefull night when he'd returned to his apartment at Standford after the whole Constance Welch ordeal.
For the first time in a very long while, Sam felt totally free, for the first time, he felt good and at peace with himself.
With a deep sigh, Sam sat down on the windowsill and ran a hand through his hair which, having been left uncut, had reached to just above his shoulders. Long enough for him to tie it into a ponytail yet short enough to not be considered feminine.
The chocolate brown locks had also become slightly darker, richer, in hue.
Sam knew that he was slowly changing, changing into who he was meant to be.
The reluctance he'd felt all his life at the prospect of being a hunter was slowly vanishing with each passing day.
Now, a small but ever growing hunger had been sparked deep within his very soul. In his heart, he was finally beginning to understand.
Reluctant little college boy was quickly turning into a eager and powerful hunter.
He couldn't run from this.
And when he tried to, he ended up loosing someone he loved.
Sam felt a small pang in his heart at the thought of love.
It made him think of his mother who he didn't remember, Mary Winchester, who'd given her life to save him. Gutted and burned into nothing.
It made him think of Jessica, the young woman who'd captured his heart and had been visciously ripped away from him in the same, cruel fashion.
It made him think of his father John, eventhough their relationship had been rocky, the man was his father, he loved him very much. And as he thought about it, Sam realized that he and John were not so different. They were both hard-headed and stubborn men.
It made him think of Dean... his beloved big brother Dean. Sam could still hear the phantom echo of Dean's final, desperate scream as he'd been pulled out of the hospital room by one of the guards. Dean was the one true rock in his life, even when they were seperated and he was at Stanford. Dean was always in the back of his mind, at the end of everyday, when there was nothing left to take his mind in a different direction, he'd think about Dean. Dean had been the one who'd practically raised him. Dean, who now thought he was dead. Sam could only imagine the utter devastation his brother was feeling right now. Sam swore, the second he was reunited with his big brother, he'd hug him and never let go, chick-flick be damned.
It also, made him think of a pair of pale, milky blue, wolf-like eyes, long braided ebony hair, pale caramel skin, and a warm, serene smile.
Sam felt a jolt of shock go through him as he realized just who he was thinking about.
Alkaya.
Sam felt a roaring in his ears as he realized who he'd been thinking of in conjunction with love.
The roaring in his ears suddenly melted away, now replaced by the steady, somewhat rapid thumping of his own heart.
" Holy crap." Whispered Sam in disbelief.
He was falling in love, again. With the beautiful, pale eyed woman sent to show him the path towards hid destiny.
All prospect of sleep fled then, for the rest of the night in that moment, Sam sat and tried to process what his heart had revealed to him.
With a shaky breath, Sam all but ran out his room and navigated his way to the library.
" Absorb some more books. That's it, just absorb some more books. That'll calm me down." He though, all but having a panic attack as he dashed into the vast room filled with books of the ancient arts.
Before the light of dawn filled the sky, several more large books of ancient anti-demon wards and white magic ranging from Latin to Sumerian to Japanese were devoured in a paniced frenzy.
When Alkaya awoke to a new, bright morning, she was slightly taken aback by the sounds of someone downstairs.
Using her mind, she pin-pointed where the sounds were coming from.
The training room.
Sam.
Even from here in her own room, Alkaya could feel the waves of agitation that emminated from the youngest Winchester from where he was in the training room, practicing his telekineses and focusing his psychic energy into flaming blue projectiles, that now shoot out of his hands rather than his chest.
With a sigh, Alkaya sent him a mental message.
" Well, you're up early."
" Yeah, woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. Went to the library and absorbed a few more texts before coming down here to work on my aim." Answered back Sam.
" Well, that's good to hear. Keep at it, I'll make breakfast." Said Alkaya as she
" Sure, sounds great." Replied Sam, less than enthusiastically before with a small, whispering sound, the psychic link was severed.
Alkaya could sense that something was off with the young man.
She'd see what was bothering him later, right now, she had breakfast to make and a new day to start.
Meanwhile, inside the trainingroom, Sam let out a small yell as he let fly a barrage of flaming blue projectiles, the blue lances of energy flew gracefully from his palms and finger towards the unlucky target that Sam had set up to take aim at.
It wouldn't survive past this training session.
All at once, the blue lances of psychic energy bombarded the target, incinerating it within seconds.
It crumbled to the floor in a mass of burning ashes and dying blue flames.
" Hey Sam, come and eat." Came Alkaya's call, much to Sam's chagrin.
" Yeah, coming." He answered back as with a steadying sigh, he left the training room.
Alkaya looked up from where she'd just set the plate freshly cut fruit next to the small pitcher of syrup as 'Bean Stalk' walked in and wordlessly took a seat.
" Morning Sam." Said Alkaya as she too took a seat.
" Morning." Said Sam quietly with only a small, fleeting glance at her before he set about piling food onto his plate.
The two lapsed into silence and ate breakfast with none the usual, comfortable small-talk of past mornings together.
After breakfast, Alkaya asked Sam what books he'd absorbed in his minor insomnia from the previous night.
Once again, Sam answered stiffly as they headed outside for today's training sessions.
They walked together in silence, side by side down the path through the woods that would lead them to the lake.
As they walked, Sam kept stealing glances at the woman by his side.
Sam felt his heart speed up in it's tempo as he truely noticed Alkaya, not as the other wordly being sent to guide him on the path to his destiny, but as the very beautiful young woman she truely was.
She walked with a confident, fluid grace. Her eyes, though pale and unnatural against her Indian features and skin color, were always filled with warmth and understanding whenever they gazed upon him. She was kind and gentle when she needed to be. She was strong and with a will made of steel when she needed to be.
Somehow, she'd managed to stealthily steal his heart, just by being.
But, Sam quickly caught himself and with a small blush turning his cheeks a pale rosey pink, Sam kept his eyes straight ahead as they reached the lake.
Unbenounced to him, Alkaya herself had been secretly giving him appraising looks of her own.
If it were possible, the young man walking beside her had grown taller in stature and appearance. Where once was reluctance and fear, there now stood a man who exuded a quiet strength as he walked. He was fiercely driven in his devotion to his training, the motivations being both love and hatred. Love, for the family he'd had to give up temporarily in order to keep his very soul. Hatred, for the Yellow Eyed Demon who had wanted him as his heir, the evil being who'd wanted to turn him into a souless creature of darkness. The Demon, who had taken so much from him, his mother, his girlfriend, his chances of having a normal life, he'd even had to suffer an excruciating false death and temporarily give up his family because of that thing. His eyes still held innocence within their moss-green depths, but they were slowly growing deeper with maturity and power, deeper with the responsiblities this power would entail.
On top of that, Alkaya thought he looked wickedly handsome with his hair long and dark, and a his cheeks graced with a ghost of dark stubble.
Sam and Alkaya quickly banished all thoughts of how good looking they thought each other was as they came to the lake bank.
" Well, let see if you can control the elements now that you've absorbed all that stuff. We'll begin with the most convenient. As you can see." Said Alkaya as the two of them walked out onto the pier that jutted into the calm, mirror like waters.
Sam looked at her with uncertainty in his eyes.
" Well, go on. It's in you, you just have to take command of it. After all, it's all you." Said Alkaya with a reassuring smile that made Sam feel warm all over.
With a nod and a steadying breath, Sam took another step forward so that he was standing at the very edge of the pier.
His eyes slid shut for a moment as he focused his mind and when they opened again, they were pale blue and illuminated with power.
Sam slowly raised his hands, palms turned upwards to the sky as his lips parted to speak the Latin incantation.
" Adveho sub meus to order , aequora of vetus." ( Come under my command, waters of old. )
The still waters of the lake instantly began to ripple and after a few more second, began to churn violently.
" Ortus!" ( Rise!) Shouted Sam.
The waters obeyed and rose up into four towering collumns that roared like a tsunami. The collumns stood vertical and swirling from where they were stationary. They stayed that way until Sam lowered them down back into the rest of the lake.
" Not bad Bean Stalk." Said Alkaya with a satisfied smile. The smile quickly turned into a mischevious smirk as she stepped closer to a still very focused Sam.
Once she was behind him, she lunged forward, shoving an unsuspecting Sam forward.
Sam let out a startled yelp before he fell headlong into the lake with a huge splash and long limbs thrashing.
Alkaya let out a small chuckle as she watched as a very indignant Sam bobbed back up to the surface.
" Hey! What the hell was that for?!" He yelled as he treaded water, gazing up crossly at the smiling young woman standing on the pier.
" Sorry Sammy, couldn't resist the opportunity to see you take a dive." Grinned Alkaya.
Sam felt a jolt go through him.
" She called me Sammy." Thought Sam in realization as he continued to stare at the beautiful woman on the pier.
Thank God the water of the lake was as cold as it was.