"Yeah. I'm not normally the doom and gloom type, Commander, but you get what I'm saying?"
"Your concern is appreciated, Joker".
"Hey, I'm not just-"
"We'll radio for evac if something comes up, don't worry about that. You're the best pilot I know, and I wouldn't hesitate to use your abilities if the situation called for heroics".
The Normandy's cockiest crewmember sighed, humbled by Commander Shepard's direct words and infallible resolve which even he wouldn't dare to question.
"I'm not lookin' for a medal, Commander. If you want me to bust the Normandy through one of their giant windows for you, I'll do it. Messy lawsuits aplenty, but when the court martial starts, I'll tell them I was happy to follow your orders. Just don't ask me to shave before I testify, alright?"
The Normandy's commanding officer scoffed at the absurdity of it all.
Shepard needed nothing to enhance her status or image. It was true that crewmembers were more relaxed around her when she was not clad in her suit of armor, but they seemed to sense that a certain layer of protective material surrounded her all the time, invisible or not. Perhaps it was something so frighteningly intangible, it would smother and strangle most of the crew if they even attempted to don such mysterious armor. Too heavy for most people.
Shepard was lithe, movements smooth and unhindered.
Joker tried not to let his eyes wander from his work. He felt generally at ease around Shepard, and he got the feeling she appreciated the informality of his character. Sometimes, he was happy to play the badass roughneck for her. That little show hadn't impressed her, though. She had him figured out in a matter of days, better than most of his flight instructors had managed. Shepard was a power symbol in every imaginable sense. He couldn't say that he envied the responsibilities that burdened her, but he had to admit that she carried herself very well. Weighted like a soldier, but with all the intensity of a supernova.
Like she was just some highly-evolved form of human being.
"We should be groundside in less than an hour, Commander".
"Good. If Liara asks for me, just tell her I'm suiting up".
"Got it".
Liara. Now that was an asari for sore eyes.
Joker did not believe in the separation of business and pleasure.
If a guy couldn't find something about his work he enjoyed, what the hell was the point? He loved his job, and considered himself to be pretty damn lucky. Some folks strived to become the "consummate professional". Joker did not. He was already consummate, and no one on the Normandy had any doubts of him. No one.
Aside from the stray FNG, at least.
The asari scientist was a recent addition to the roster. She didn't know what an ass he was. That left room for him to unleash all manner of cruel jokes upon her, if he felt up to it.
"Excuse me?" came a feminine voice far too mellifluous to be his commanding officer's.
"T'Soni, right? Name's Joker. Excuse me if I don't get up to shake your hand, but both of mine are pretty full right now". The mention of getting up might draw an interesting reaction from her. He found that even minor jabs were a great way of getting to know new people.
"Oh. That is alright. It is nice to meet you, Joker".
What the hell wasthat? Doctor T'Soni sounded more like a classic film actress than a doctor. Part of him wished he could see her face when she spoke, but he preferred casual conversation, anyway. Besides, those asari had probably been blamed for more work accidents than sleep deprivation and cheap booze combined.
"I don't suppose you have seen Commander Shepard recently?"
"Yeah, she went to change into something more comfortable" he said with a smirk. If he could hope to learn anything about the new gal, a lame sex joke would surely do the trick.
"I see", was her only reply.
Alright, someone had to check this gal for a pulse. She was either playing it cool, or she was just a complete idiot. Had to be. A century-old asari might be a child within her family, but there was no way something that blunt could have gone over her head. Wasn't she supposed to be a doctor, a sharp intellectual thinker who saw things most people missed completely?
"What kind of doctoring do you do, if you don't mind my asking?"
"Why would I mind?" she asked.
"I don't know", was all he could think to say.
"I have spent most of my life studying the Protheans. History and science have always been my favorite subjects", she said at last, offering a slight foothold that even his brittle legs could appreciate.
"Science, huh? I had a pretty good grounding in physics and chemistry back in flight school. Comes with the territory, you know".
"Yes. I think I understand", she replied in a voice far too gentle for Joker's liking.
"Hey, you alright, Doc? I thought the commander told you to see Chakwas or something, but I don't know if-"
"No. I will be fine. Anxiety is acceptable, I think. Shepard has never asked me to accompany her on a mission, before. The crew has started to speak more openly with me, and I suppose I did not fully appreciate how important this would be, but I will be alright".
"Ah, you'll be fine. Commander's a real nice lady. Sometimes" he added, recalling beautiful memories of Shepard chewing out a krogan mercenary like he was just some bloated bag of garbage. It wasn't the same as being right there, but it was a hell of a lot safer and he got to hear some pretty incredible things from the comfort of his little seat. Who needed extranet vids?
"I know. I suppose Shepard knows what's best, though".
"Oh, I gotcha", he declared with barely contained jubilance. "You're not really worried about the mission, are you? A hundred years on you, and all the self-doubt of young adult. Now I get it".
"I'm sorry?"
"Look, I'm the Normandy's pilot, right? Pressley is the navigator, you got Adams in engineering, Alenko's… well, he's just a killjoy. But you see what I'm saying?"
Silence.
"When Shepard leaves the Normandy, guess who becomes the executive officer?"
"I would assume that role would fall to the officer who is second in command", she answered quietly.
"Right. Pressley. And you don't really think people put their navigator on a pedestal like they do for their commander, do you? Of course not. But Pressley has to do his duty, just like everyone else. So it doesn't matter what people are comfortable with, or what Pressley's used to doing. We've gotta adapt to changes as best we can. First time for everything".
"You might be right, Joker. I have seen many things in my life, but there is always room for trying new things. Thank you".
You're welcome, Doc. If you really wanna thank me, I can show you some new things when we're off duty. Joker grinned, satisfied with his secret inner monologue and content merely to imagine her dignified revulsion.
She wasn't really his type, anyway.
-
Noveria was an unusual place. People of all backgrounds and physiologies found themselves to be inexorably uncomfortable here. Shepard could see it in the eyes of everyone within the Hanshan plaza. She knew precious little about hanar psychology, but she could still sense that he was ill at ease.
"Joker. I need a favor".
"Anything for you, ma'am".
"Tell Garrus to meet me at the security checkpoint. I need him to bring me a package that's waiting just outside the Normandy".
Commander Shepard stretched the muscles of her neck. They were frequently sore, but the pain seemed unusually strong now. She did not feel fatigued in the slightest.
"Aye-aye, Commander. Joker out".
Shepard felt strangely disappointed that her pilot had not been so quick to twist her words into some lewd innuendo. Maybe it was the weather. The cold of Noveria, she reasoned, could put everyone in a foul mood. Even the little quarian seemed to shiver in her environmental suit.
"Alright. We head to the administrator's office once Garrus gets here. Got it?"
"Understood, Commander" and "Yes, ma'am" were the kinds of brief, affirmative responses that Shepard had grown accustomed to hearing from her crew.
She rarely heard any griping. At a certain point, however, their cooperation seemed more like blind obedience. It didn't worry her, but it made her brain itch in a place she couldn't quite scratch.
Not right now, at least.
A pair of businessmen whispered furtively several meters from their position. Shepard knew that it would be difficult to maintain a low profile on Noveria. The hanar merchant recognized her status and affiliation, and the Normandy had docked less than an hour ago. She had already attempted to question a lonely salarian, and although she had been courteous, he had been nothing but dismissive and impolite. Shepard knew the hardships of living in a hostile environment. She left the salarian in peace, certain that he was merely a slave to his fears.
Shepard was no slave.
She knew the rank and file, and saluted her superiors without the slightest hesitation. She had also been chastised on multiple occasions for insubordination. It had taken time for her to realize who she could safely confide in, and when it was appropriate to offer one's opinions to senior officers. The situation was often more influential than the individual, and this worked both ways. Commander Shepard was not a con artist, but she knew how to turn the odds in her favor, even when someone wasn't trying to send her to the medical ward.
"Commander", came a familiar voice. Shepard turned to face her ally, standing at her side looking more exhausted than any turian she'd previously encountered.
"I got here as soon as I could", he remarked. Shepard correctly guessed that Garrus had dashed out of the Normandy upon receiving her orders, like the turian MP squad she had once struggled to keep up with in her younger years.
"You didn't run the whole way here, did you? You look terrible!" the quarian spoke with disbelief and concern.
"I'm not too late, am I?"
"No", Shepard reassured him, barely suppressing her amusement. "Do you have it?"
"Of course, Commander. I can give it to you now, but I think a little privacy might be preferable".
"Why?" Shepard wrestled away an urge to grin, wondering what sort of cleverly framed words Joker might have used on the poor turian. He glanced suspiciously at the nearby businessmen, and drew closer to his commanding officer, hushing the rasp of his voice.
"Looks like some sort of weapons mod", he explained. "Security let me through without questions. I guess that's considered a Noverian nicety. Scanners weren't active, though. You must have put quite the scare into them".
"Yeah. Guess I did", Shepard whispered thoughtfully, clearing her throat before turning to her asari compatriot.
"People trust you, right?"
The asari blinked twice before furrowing a brow at the commander.
"I am not sure what you mean, Shepard".
"You're an asari, Liara. People trust the asari. They're pretty and polite. I need you to go with Tali and speak with the hanar merchant. Find out all you can about who he's been trying to sell this weapons mod to".
"I will do my best, Commander", she nodded, studying the mod for a moment before handing it to Tali, who appeared equally curious.
An interesting pair, Shepard thought to herself.
"Commander", Garrus spoke up. "I recognize these guards. They work for Elanus Risk Control. Hired security teams to keep investments safe without worrying about interference from the law, no doubt".
"No doubt", Shepard echoed. "Looks like a lot of them are turian, that'll work to your advantage. Ask around. See if anyone's seen the matriarch".
"Will do, Shepard".
The flaps surrounding Garrus's cheekbones flared almost imperceptibly. Shepard knew a turian smile when she saw it, but an overt display of happiness from Garrus was a rare treat indeed. He probably felt like he was back in C-Sec, tracking down leads and hoping his skills would take him to some edgy moment of brutal justice in the end. Shepard wasn't so sure of her own expectations. Asari matriarchs were said to be exceedingly powerful and rarely seen outside their own turf. Shepard had never encountered one before, but she was not afraid.
Not yet, at least.
"I'll deal with the administrator. Meet me outside his office when you're done".
Shepard heard the turian's verbal acknowledgement as she departed, moving at a brisk pace toward a flight of steps that would lead down to the administrator's office. This seemed like an interesting reversal of the council chambers back on the citadel, where Lieutenant Alenko had been quick to point out the presence of stairs leading up to the noble councilors.
Noble.
Shepard had been honest with the council when she lowered her head during the Spectre induction. She truly felt honored to be the first human to join their ranks, despite the obvious complications that followed her everywhere.
However, it was becoming increasingly clear to her that this oligarchy was not without its flaws. Politicians were notoriously arrogant. They sat in luxury, throwing harsh words at people fighting for their lives in some distant land. The turian councilor was Shepard's greatest detractor, by far. Always quick to point out the things that had gone wrong during some mission or other. It took a while for her to realize that the turian was simply the council's voice of deliberate caution and thorough skepticism. The first human Spectre ultimately determined that diplomacy would be her greatest weapon against his accusations.
Commander Shepard was fully equipped to handle most criticisms and hostile individuals. She gave her parents credit for that one.
"This one does not understand why the other wishes to confront the bounty hunter directly. That one is quick to anger, and prone to violence".
"That is true", Liara nodded, careful to show respect for the hanhar merchant's concerns and fears. "I did not think much could be gained from this. That is why I stayed behind, while my companion went to negotiate with the krogan".
She made several attempts to explain this to the hanhar, yet the creature remained persistent and anxious. It was often difficult for Doctor T'Soni to accept that she lacked the communication skills that her people were so widely acclaimed for. The volus were associated with mercantilism, the salarians were renowned for their intelligence, and everyone knew of the military discipline that weaved its way throughout all aspects of turian culture.
T'Soni frowned and studied the bare walls of the plaza. The color scheme of this place appeared almost painfully neutral, and this was unlikely to be a coincidence.
The asari were not known for sitting in dark and silent places, conducting extensive research projects and pursuing ancient secrets that most species lacked the patience to fully comprehend.
"Liara! You're not going to believe this".
"What happened, are you alright?" the asari had been startled by the quarian's sudden return. She was beginning to worry that allowing someone so young to negotiate with a krogan bounty hunter had not been the most prudent decision, and she was relieved to learn that Tali was still "in one piece", as Shepard had once put it.
"I'm fine. I just spoke to a turian in the mezzanine. He was kicked out of his office because the administrator accused him of corruption".
"Oh", Liara replied, hoping Tali had not lost sight of their present task.
"I also overheard a salarian making a long-distance call to his brother. He suspects that Lorik is innocent, and that the administrator is hoping to divert attention from his own misdeeds by shifting the blame to Lorik".
"Lorik is the turian, the one who was evicted?"
"Yes. His office is being ransacked by ERCS guards right now, and if we hurry, we might be able to find evidence of the administrator's corruption on Lorik's computer before they do. Oh, and he's also promised us a garage access pass, if we help out".
Liara was dumbstruck. The quarian had only been gone for a short time, and had already acquired more information than the other three members of her party combined.
"Shepard will want to hear this, Tali. I think she will be very impressed".
"I was not trying to impress anyone. I'm just doing what I do best".
"Well, you have impressed me. We should report to Shepard right away".
Opold watched as the asari and quarian departed together. An interesting pairing of sentient beings. Not the kind of pairing one sees very often, if ever, despite the vastness of space and countless varieties of potential customers one might be approached by.
The asari were among Opold's most respected clientele, yet he was so rarely honored by their company. One member of the asari had approached several days ago, for supplies. Payment had been most generous, and even greater payment was offered if one should notice any unusual sentient creatures that may wish harm upon her revered matriarch.
It would be respectful of him to report his most recent sighting of the suspicious trinity, if only as a precaution. Although payment would be welcome, this one feared greatly for the safety of the asari matriarch.
"Are you crazy? You can't have a doughnut, you're a turian".
"What?" the ERCS guard shot back at Garrus with impudence. "Why the hell not?"
"It would make you sick, it might even kill you. Would you really risk your life for a piece of human food?"
"You've never tried a doughnut, have you?"
"Of course not. Why would I?"
"You've never been curious about exotic cuisine?"
"No. Getting back to my other questions-"
"You should be more open new things. One time, a buddy of mine found this big box of doughnuts sitting around the break room. We ate 'em so fast, they were unbelievable! Got pretty nauseous afterwards, but it was well worth it!"
Garrus sighed.
"Find anything yet?"
"Nothing much, Commander" Garrus turned to the human whose voice he recognized instantly. "Benezia was seen with an escort of asari commandos, and they were carrying something heavy. It passed inspection, though", glancing back at the obnoxious ERCS officer, he added "whatever that's worth".
"Not much, I'm sure. Administrator claims Benezia is Saren's executor, and they've got too much money invested in Binary Helix for folks to start asking lots of questions".
"Seems like it should be the other way around".
"Yeah. That's business for you", Shepard shrugged, but refrained from asking about Tali and Liara's progress. Whatever they had been up to, she felt certain it would be worth the extra wait.
Unless they ran into trouble.
"Hey. She with you?"
Garrus ignored the security guard's question, only to realize he'd been referring to Doctor T'Soni, not Shepard.
"Commander", the asari's voice oozed warmth against the frigidity of the plaza. "I apologize for the delay, but we may have found something of interest".
Garrus tried to listen to Liara's explanation, but something kept tapping him on the shoulder. He made a haphazard attempt to brush away the guard's arm, but finally turned and shot him an angry scowl when the rude turian made clear his request.
"Aren't you gonna introduce me to your little blue friend there? I've always had this thing for asari-"
"Shouldn't you be focusing on your job? I thought you were on duty".
"Well, yeah. My duty is pretty damn boring, though. At least it was, until you guys got here. So what's the deal, does she go for turians?"
Garrus Vakarian grunted at the pesky guard before departing to stand in the company of Shepard's team.