Hermione could hardly remember when Farmboy – oh, what was his real name? – had not been with her family. The cows had not given such good milk, and the wheat yield had not been so great. They were the only pertinent facts she recalled.
If the thing Hermione enjoyed most was riding her Hippogriff (closely followed by solving Arithmancy equations) then ordering Farmboy around was definitely in the top ten.
Strangely, Farmboy seemed to – Ron! Ron was his name. Hermione knew she'd remember it if she thought about it hard enough. Er, where was she? Oh, of course. Strangely, though Ron seemed to enjoy following her orders. "As you wish," he said, when she'd finished detailing her exact requirements. As you wish was all he ever said to her, and it was getting on her nerves. Was the boy a broken record? (This was after records, and record players).
Of course, Hermione reflected, a witch as clever as she was ought to have known right from the start that Ron had an ulterior motive.
Hermione was sitting at the outdoor table solving some Arithmancy equations when her quill-tip snapped. Ron happened to be passing. "Farmboy, hand me that spare quill," Hermione commanded.
Ron picked up the quill and handed it to her. "As you wish," he said quietly, with some inexplicable emotion turning his clear blue eyes stormy. It was then that it hit Hermione with the force of a stampeding troll. For when their hands touched, there had been a spark. When Ron said "As you wish," what he really meant was, "I love you."
Inexplicably, Hermione found herself liking Ron's stormy eyes. But it would never do. Ron was just the local help. She was the Captain's daughter! … Oh. Oops. Wrong story. Princess Bride, not HMS Pinafore … okay, I'm back on track now. Let's try that again.
Inexplicably, Hermione found herself liking Ron's stormy eyes. But it would never do. She was the dentist-farmer's daughter! "Don't fall for me, Farmboy," Hermione said flatly. "I haven't got time for it."
PBHP
A few weeks later, Hermione and Ron had successfully managed to avoid each other. Mr and Mrs Granger, Hermione's parents, were out of town – out of country, in fact. While they lived in Florin, they sometimes had to attend conferences in Guilder. (This was after conferences.)
The village playboys – all five of them – decided that now would be a perfect time to have a little fun with the oh-so-clever Miss Hermione Granger of Bag End Farm. They snuck into her house (this was before locks), crept up to her room and dragged her, kicking and screaming, to the stables where her beloved Hippogriff was kept.
Hermione screams woke Ron, who had the room above the stables in return for the work he did on the farm. He could see Hermione writhing on the ground as one of the youths kicked her. Ron slid a whip off the wall, jumped into the fray and drove the bad boys off.
Hermione lay limply on the ground. The Abraxan horse whinnied. Ron knelt beside her and pushed her bushy brown hair out of her face, startled, though he shouldn't have been, to find tears rolling down her cheeks.
Hermione sat up shakily. "Oh, Ron," she breathed. Now that had a legitimate excuse for startling Ron; he hadn't realised that she knew his real name. "Hold me."
"As you wish," Ron said tenderly, both out of force of habit and because he hoped, probably foolishly, that she'd appreciate it. It only served to make Hermione cling to him all the tighter as she sobbed.
Eventually he walked her back up to the house.
"Why did you do it?" Hermione asked as she stood in the doorframe. "Save me, I mean."
"They were hurting you. You were screaming," Ron replied. "Your father wasn't here."
"They wouldn't have got me out of the house if Father was here," Hermione pointed out.
Ron sighed. He couldn't lie to her. "Do you remember telling me not to fall in love with you?"
Uh-oh, his eyes were stormy again, Hermione noted. Mesmerised, she nodded.
Ron gave a humourless laugh. "It was too late.
That was it. That cinched it. Hermione snapped. Abandoning all semblance of sanity, she threw herself into Ron's arms.
Ron had no fortune so when Hermione's parents came back, he left for America, there to seek his fortune. However, a few months later, a letter arrived by owl post to say that Ron's flying carpet had been taken by the Dread Pirate Neville Longbottom. And everyone knew that the Dread Pirate Neville Longbottom took no survivors.
"I will never love again," Hermione declared.
A.N: 'Don't fall for me, Farmboy, I haven't got time for it' is a classic phrase from the pilot episode of Lois and Clark. Check out the revelation fics and see how many have Clark referencing it, and saying that it was too late. Bag End Farm is, of course, a play on LotR