Chapter #5 Inconceivable!

Part III – Brutal Bout

Percy and Hagrid had been watching the bout below with detached interest from about three quarters of the way up the mountainside until the man in orange knocked Potter unconscious. Percy unrolled the carpet, and pulled Hermione further on, higher up, hissing at Hagrid over his shoulder to fight the man in orange as he (Percy, that is, not Hagrid) pulled Hermione to the summit.

"How do I fight him?" Hagrid asked.

"Your way!" Percy shrieked at him.

"Well, what's my way, then?" Hagrid asked.

"Pick up a rock, and when the man in orange gets near you, lob it at his head!" Percy screamed. Hermione began to seriously doubt his sanity as he pulled her along. "Mind your footing," Percy snapped at her. Hermione scowled at him. She was not an athletic girl, she was a studying girl. She wasn't used to running.

"My way's not very sportsmanlike," Hagrid muttered, but Percy was always right (except for when he said 'Inconceivable!') so Hagrid decided he'd better do as he was told. When the man in orange came within throwing distance, Hagrid duly threw a rock at him, which splintered three feet (or 0.9 metres) in from of the man in orange. "I didn't have to miss," he called as the man in orange stared up at him. "I just thought it'd be fairer on both sides if you had some warning."

"Much appreciated," the man in orange said. "So, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try to kill each other like civilised people?"

"That sounds fair," Hagrid agreed.

Duly, Hagrid lay down his rock and the man in orange pay down his sword. Hagrid put his hands out. The man in orange charged him like a bull charges a flapping towel. However, he almost suffered whiplash on impact. The giant was very solid. The man in orange charged again, this time flailing his arms to punch the giant's stomach, to the same result.

"You're just funning with me, aren't you?" grumbled the man in orange as he backed off.

"I want you to feel as though you're winning," Hagrid said kindly as he reached for the man in orange, who nimbly sidestepped him.

They made like Tom and Jerry for a while, minus the dynamite (this was before the Western world discovered explosives) before the man in orange jumped from a boulder to Hagrid's back, to which he clung like a limpet clings to a rock, and by so doing, effectively choking the giant.

Like Potter before him, Hagrid fell to the ground. The man in orange clambered off him, and made his way to the summit.

A.N: This seemed much longer when I had it written in longhand. Oh well. Originally, I had planned to have Neville as Fezzik, so the line was 'So you'll put down your Mimbulus mimbletonia and I'll put down my wand and we'll try and kill each other like civilised people?' but at the time, Dan Radcliffe wasn't quite so much shorter than Matt Lewis, and Hagrid kind of fit better anyway. I can't write Hagrid's accent, so I just didn't try. I also don't think he's quite that dumb to follow orders like Percy's blindly, but it was kind of necessary for his role of Fezzik. Reviews are always appreciated!