To our readers:

I have only posted, because of extreme boredom has induced me to post as well as the pleas of the reviewers. Please review this chapter. We accept anonymous.

To our reviewers:

Thank you, here's a cookie.

Theo: perhaps you'll have something to say this chapter . . . we posted though!

Queen Islanzadi: the fourth part is the ending to our plot as opposed to the ending of Tolkien's plot. It's easier to explain once RotK is posted. But with every review and every chapter, you come closer to knowing.

Iforgotmyname: you need a name . . . but then we wouldn't know you, would we?

Chapter Two

When's the wedding?

In which Nickel travels further, Mandy gets revenge on the twins and discover that there are dead people on the Paths of the Dead.

Nickel's PoV

"Rûn" I called to the carpet, using my staff and poor grammar to the best of my ability, "duia rûn gwi. Nai brith golla gwai." (East. Flow east wind. Be it that [carpet [is on the wind)

The carpet shook itself like a great wave and set off east, blown by my conjured wind. Gandalf seemed to think that all of this magic usage wasn't particularly wise, but speed seemed more important at the moment. Even if no one else knew what was going on, I still had to do something. I extracted a Quenyan vocabulary book from my bag – the shudders the carpet made at my grammar were making the ride uncomfortable.

"Nicole!" Ernie screamed. Right in my ear. Ow.

I snapped my book shut and shot him a glare, "What?"

"I'm hungry."

I looked at the sun, or rather, lack of one. "Wow."

"We didn't even have breakfast or lunch – which I wouldn't mind so much, except we didn't have dinner last night and-"

My stomach growled, "Okay." I reached for my bag, "What would you like?"

"Those cookie things Aragorn gave us." Ernie answered promptly.

"Lembas?"

"Precisely."

I unwrapped a package of the named way bread and dibbed it out.

Ernie grinned at the sight – and taste – of food. "These are very filling." He announced, "Perfect for hungry people, they should give these to the hungry back home."

"Home." I echoed, "Do you really want to go home?"

"Well, yeah, there's no TV and are no video games or what not in Middle earth."

"But there's clean air and water and magic." I protested, "and trees and simple, good, whole things."

Ernie looked up at the stars, "yeah, but I feel like I'm expected to do something here."

"Well, duh!" I laughed, "You're Melkor!"

Ernie sighed, "Yeah."

Mandy's PoV

"FINALLY!" I shouted, letting go of my horse's reins to cheer. Elladan, therefore, took the liberty of shoving me so I fell face first in a heap of dead uruk-hai. "Hey-Eew!"

"Oh . . . did I do that?" Elladan asked innocently as Kelsey and Elrohir fell off their horses, laughing. I say fell off, though Kelsey would never be so awkward as to actually fall off a horse.

"Um . . . yes, I believe you did." I scowled, trying to keep as far as possible from the bodies while still sitting and rubbing the spot on m thigh where someone's armor had bruised me. Eventually, though, I had to crack a smile too, laughing is too contagious.

Legolas rode up to me, smiling at the joke, "Here.' He offered his hand to me.

"No thanks, I think Elladan should help me up since he was rude enough to push me down."

Elladan shrugged, clutching his stomach fro laughter. Chuckling, he reached down and I clutched his hand. And pulled him down as hard as I could so that he fell face first onto the heap of dead things. More laughter erupted from Kelsey and Elrohir as I turned to Legolas, "I'll take your offer now." I held out a hand.

Legolas took it a little warily, "you aren't going to pull me down too are you?"

"Never." I promised, "It's not like I'm on drugs or anything."

"Are you sure?" Kelsey asked as Legolas pulled me up onto my horse still holding my hand, "you certainly have a habit of pulling people down with you."

"Ha-ha." I laughed sarcastically.

Elrohir chose that moment to notice Legolas still had my hand. He whistled, "So when's the wedding?"

"June." Kelsey replied shortly as we approached Helm's Deep.

"Really?" Elladan asked, "It will be so sweet; I remember when they first kissed . . ." his happy little memories were displaced however.

"No." Legolas said, dropping my hand to turn his horse through the gate. Not that he needed to drop my hand.

"Lady Kelsey?" called some kid.

"That's me! That's me!" Kelsey waved in the air. The kid gave her a letter.

"The Lord Haldir of the elves bade me give this to you." He said, clearly in awe of the fact that Kelsey had correspondence with an elf. He obviously hadn't noticed her speciation.

Kelsey opened the letter, and as she read, guiding her horse with her knees, a smile grew on her lips. I reached over and plucked it from her fingers, limp with happiness. Her bubble burst. "Mandy, give me that now." Kelsey threatened, "Or I'll-"

"What's this?" I squinted at the paper, you'd figure elves would have better handwriting, "he says, 'I shall truly miss you, but you are always in my heart and on my mind. Yet only when I see you will I be truly joyful again.' How come you never say that kind of thing to me?" I called after Legolas as Kelsey snatched the letter back.

Elrohir sighed, mockingly, "Aww, would you like to always be in his heart and on his mind?" He asked, sickeningly.

"All right, buddy, YOU"RE GOING DOWN!" I leapt off my horse, knocking Elrohir to the ground and sat on him, while proceeding to tickle the elf. Over the screams of Elrohir, I heard Elladan say something to Kelsey.

"THAT'S IT!" Kelsey shouted and out of the corner of my eye, I saw her leap at Elladan.

Suddenly, hands grabbed me and lifted me up off Elrohir and I saw Aragorn do the same to Kelsey.

"Kelsey, control yourself!" Aragorn shouted over the noise, now what happened?"

"Kelsey got a letter from Haldir, and Elladan started quoting it all." Elrohir wheezed. I kicked him as he sat up.

"A letter from Haldir?" Aragorn asked Kelsey.

She broke free of his grip, and gathered up our horses' reins calmly, "it is nothing, ada." She said softly. Aragorn followed her all the way to the stables, interrogating her until he realized he was supposed to be attempting to beat off Sauron through the Palantir at which point he ran up to some room for his kingly business.

"I say," Gimli began as I turned around to see Halbarad and the dwarf were behind me, "We never have a dull moment with the ladies around. You should have met, the Lady Nicole. Now she was crazy."

After a few hours at Helm's Deep, during which Kelsey hogged the only bath tub there was, we got back on our horses and rode onward. Even faster. Not that I mind going fast, but the whole sitting on a horse for hours on end was starting to tire me out. I wasn't a Mongol, or a Dunedain for that matter. I was a very dirty teenager in an elf's body who wanted a shower. Obviously some higher being misconstructed this. Elladan had the brilliant idea of dumping a bucket of water on my head as soon as we reached Dunharrow. Elves. The next morning, we were up and about, getting ready to leave.

"Off to the Paths of the dead! I sang, melodramatically, "What will we do there, Kelsey."

She gave me a look that clearly stated, 'I hate morning people' before replying, "We go see the dead people."

"Wait . . . we're going to see dead people?" I repeated slowly, "Why didn't anyone tell me! I didn't sign up for this!" my shouts brought several of our companions out of their tenty thing.

"Mandy," Kelsey began. "I figured you would assume, Paths of the Dead meant we were going to see dead people."

"I though it was a metaphor." Mandy frowned, "Oh I get it now! I knew AP English was unhealthy."

Kelsey shared a look with the now present Elladan and Elrohir.

"What's AP mean?"

"Torture," I replied happily, "in which one's mind is sucked out through a pipe, refurbished and shoved back in."

"Oh."

Thankyou, once again to our reveiwers. mandy is unfourtunatly (or fourtunatly) engaged in a time consuing effort to replicat The world of narnia on a stage. I think she's an elf. Competition season is begun and AP is tremendous. see you in several weeks (I may be induced to post sooner (since i check reveiws almost daily)if there were more reveiws. if you reveiw twice, i'll count it upwards.) tra la!