Reveiwers:

Remember to Feel Real: see, we havn't figured that out yet exactly. Mandy had this idea with something about more jewelry, but that got ditched, and before that, when she came up with us all dying just now, we sort of came back as spirits, but still had separate bodies. I think of them as being more or less one and the same. (Bodies and spirits, I mean, not jewelry and dead ppl)

Queen Islanzadi: I'm trying to get more people for the tours - you already signed up. There are only three people right now. :(

Gina: I don't see how it was weird, but then again - as Haldir points out . . . wait that's next chapter. Anyways, Only I understand what I say.

Meagan: Ned from the dead Bob show. What song do you want? Did I put French in there? I wouldn't know.

Disclaimer: I actually have to do one of these this chapter. We do not own the tale Legolas shall tell – Nickel paraphrased it from The Simarillion. If you actually care what edition/version, send us a review or message asking and we will tell you next chapter.

Chapter Eight

Quadradic Formula

In which Nicole goes insane (not that she wasn't already), Legolas sings something unexpected and tells the story of Thingol and Melian the Maiar

Kelsey's PoV

We rode slowly, to account for the injured and our tiredness. Mandy, Nicole and I all found long, white scars on our stomachs that morning as we dressed, and decided it would be best not to tell the others what had happened. We did, however, inform everyone that Melkor and Sauron were sorting out their issues in the void and that was where we'd been.

Haldir insisted on riding beside me – a measure I took kindly to, appreciating his thoughtfulness – and, though we did not speak that morning, by afternoon, I decided to break the silence.

"What's wrong, Haldir?"

"Oh, nothing, you've just been very quiet and it worries me. Especially since . . ." He subsided into silence.

"Don't worry, Haldir." I told him, "I'll be fine." And I spurred my horse to where Aragorn and the Hobbits were riding.

"Hello, Lady!" Sam said, "It sure has been awhile. Did you know that Nicole can do magic now? It's just like I always thought Gandalf did, back in the Shire before all these adventures."

I smiled and looked around for Nicole.

"Look up." Frodo advised.

I did.

"SEAGULLS!" Nicole screamed, dropping water balloons on us from her perch atop a new, even brighter fuchsia carpet, "SEAGULLS, LEGGY!"

Legolas, who rode just behind me with Mandy and Gimli on either side of him, cowered.

I giggled, "She's still crazy, though, Sam. Never forget that."

Frodo smiled weakly, "What do you think they'll say in the stories now, Sam? Frodo the nine fingered and Samwise Gamgee, chased by the crazy lady on a bright . . . carpet."

"I think they'll put her in a different story, Master Frodo, if you get my meaning."

"Mwahahahaha!!!" Nicole flew off.

"Someone should get her off that thing." Imrahil commented dryly.

"Don't look at me." Gandalf grumbled, "I certainly didn't give her that idea."

"X equals negative B,

Plus or minus the square root,

Of B squared minus four A, C,

All over two A!"

I looked around for the algebra crazed singer, "Legolas? Are you singing the quadratic function?"

"He thinks it drives Nicole away." Mandy told me, "I've tried to tell him that the only way to shut her up is to poke her, but he just can't mange it."

"Poor Legolas." I turned back to Imrahil, "You know, if you did manage to get Nicole away from her insane devices, you'd have her screaming and running in random polygons."

"And if she were contained?" Imrahil seemed to think there must be some way to understand Nickel's mind.

"If you could – theoretically – keep her from screaming and running around . . . nope, it's not possible."

"Oh."

"So there is no way to make her sane?" Frodo asked, "How sad."

"Sad?" Gandalf asked, "I suppose, but it is insanity that kept a great evil at bay."

"When was this?" I asked.

"Why do you think Morgoth did not escape the void before? He could have escaped, but he was much too busy trying to not be driven insane."

"That makes sense," Sam said, "But isn't Morgoth gone? He's from the old stories and has been destroyed, hasn't he? Do we have to go and oppose him as well? Mr. Frodo's deserved a nice rest, if you ask me, so I hope someone else deals with it this time."

"Don't worry, Sam." I told him before proceeding to tell him all about our adventures. He wasn't quite as impressed as I'd hoped, though he did ooh and aah at the appropriate points.

Mandy's PoV

"Tell me about your home, Legolas." I asked him.

"Mirkwood? Oh, you wouldn't like it."

"Why not?"

"There are huge spiders in those woods and running through to the south is a stream that – if you drink of it – you will fall into a deep sleep and forget much of what you know."

"That doesn't sound very pleasant."

"It isn't." Legolas was silent for a while.

"But surely you guys must like it or you wouldn't still live there."

"There is a great evil in the southern portions of our woods."

"Then why on earth are you still there."

"We live in the Northern areas of Mirkwood in caverns like those of Thingol of old."

"Aah . . . who was that?"

"He was a Teleri king who fell in love with the Maiar Melian in the first age and was the father of Lúthien."

"How did he meet her?"

"Meet who?"

"Melian."

"Well, would you like me to tell it to you?"

"Yes, Legolas."

"Melian was one of the Maia – the race of the Valar. She lived in the home of Lórien, and was the most beautiful, wise, and skilled in songs of enchantment. She was kin to Yavanna – the giver of fruits – and, at the time that the elves came into being, she came to Arda and filled its silence with the sounds of birds."

"So it's her fault that that stupid catbird woke me up every morning last year!" I exclaimed . . . sorry."

"Now the elves, when awakened, heard of the great light of the two trees and decided to go west and dwell in Valinor as was many of the Valar's wishes. So, as their journey to the west came to an end, the Teleri – the last of the elves to depart at that time – rested in East Beleriand. And Elwë, there lord who was the same as Thingol – would wander those woods and seek his friends among the Noldor. It happened, that one night he was alone in the starlit wood of Nan Elmoth and there, he heard the sound of nightingales – the favorite bird of Melian who had taught them their song.

'Then, it was as if a spell had fallen upon him and he went forth, hearing the song of Melian in his mind until he came to the glade where she stood. Filled with love, he took her hand and they stood there – years beyond count with out speaking a word. And his people – though they sought him, could not find him, so Olwë – his brother – took up the mantle of kingship and they departed over the sea. But Thingol and Melian became the rulers of the Sindar and the power of East Beleriand in their home of Menegroth – the thousand caves in Doriath. And of them was born the fairest child of Illuvatar that has and ever will be seen – Lúthien Tinuviel." Legolas ended his story as we halted.

"That's it?" I asked him, "He just saw her and forgot everything?"

"That is the story." Aragorn answered my question, "It is a beautiful tale, Legolas, is it not." The two of them began to fight an eyebrow battle.

"I think it's a wonderful story – almost as good as that of Beren the one handed." Sam punched the air.

"We are really all a part of that story, aren't we?" Frodo mused, "All of their adventures melt into ours, so it's really all one long story."

"It's not a story unless it's interesting." Nicole landed with her carpet, "Otherwise it's history."

"History is interesting!" Kelsey protested

"No, if history is interesting, then it is a story."

"Whatever." Eomer muttered.

The three of us glanced at each other as Aragorn and Legolas finished their eyebrow war.

"Did he just say 'whatever' or is that just me?" I asked.

"He did."

"Weird."

I heart Melian. She taught Galadriel how to make Lembas. I heart Lembas.

Happy Belated Saint Nicholas Day (December 6th)

-Nickel