A/N

Unfortunatly, I don't have the next chapter anywhere near written, but hopefully it will be created and posted by christmastime. Please be patient. If you haven't, read our other stories. Apply for our tours. Write something. Study. Work on you splits. Whatever. We will be back. (And in less than three months, I promise.)

Reveiws:

Gina: for telling a story or trying to understand Algebra?

L d'A: there are several versions, I think. the one Legolas sings is the pop goes the weasel one, though.

Queen Islanzadi: the water balloons? What was so awesome? (Besides the general fact that Nicole is always awesome) And Just for you, I updated the break room with a Glorfindel happy chappie!

Meagan: Last question first, NOW! Melian taught Galadriel how to make Lembas, yes. It's leggy b/c she's making fun of him. I have no idea how many more ch - not too many more that five, I should think. the next book should be about . . .. I have no idea. Random polygons are cool!

Author's Note: I would like everyone to know that Nickel's tale is in fact a true story and one of my favorite. Written by me, (of course) it is the story of Mandy's life. Sort of.

Chapter 9

Story Time

In which Nickel tells a story, Eomer acts weird, and they finally arrive at Minas Tirith.

Nickel's PoV

"I'm bored."

"Does the world have to know that, Nickel?" Kelsey asked from her horse where she sat, hair blowing romantically in a nonexistent wind. I suspect hairspray.

"Yes!" I announced, standing up unsteadily, "The world must understand my moods and whims!"

"Like that's possible." Haldir muttered.

"What did you say, Scurvey Onion?"

Legolas did an eyebrow thing.

"Just that you are impossible to understand." Haldir replied boldly. (I saw those knees shaking! His horse was walking funny from it.)

"I am perfectly understandable." I corrected him, "You are the one with no comprehension."

"Nickel, nobody understands you." Mandy told me, "That didn't even make sense."

"Well then," I considered the issue, "Somebody must alleviate my boredom so I need not announce it."

"But-" Mandy looked confused.

"Tell us a story, Haldir, or she'll start spouting poetry!" Kelsey hastily interjected.

"Do I have to?" He whined.

I grinned evilly, "Sonnet forty-two:

That thou hast her, it is not all my grief,

And yet it may be said I loved her dearly;

That she hath thee, is of my wailing-"

"Chief of the Noldor in the ancient city of Gondolin, the hidden rock was Turgon and it is the story of the building of that place which I shall tell." Haldir interrupted me, "It is said, that by the guidance of Ulmo, Turgon found the hidden vale of Tumladen and lay east of the upper waters of Sirion, in a ring of mountains tall and sheer and no living thing came there save the eagles of Thorondor."

"Erm . . . excuse me, but who are all these people and places?" Mandy asked Haldir, "I've never hearn of Seereon or Turgon and I didn't know Elmo lived in Middle Earth."

I groaned, "Mandy, it's Ulmo, not Elmo."

"Ulmo is the Vala of the waters." Kelsey explained patiently, "Turgon was an elf lord and The Sirion was a river in Beleriand which sunk into the ocean at the end of the first age."

"Oh." Mandy stared at us, "how do you know that?"

"We've read the Simarillion, Mandy." I said slowly, "Which you, obviously, have not."

"I tried to read it!" She protested, "But it didn't make any sense."

"That's why we reread things, Mandy." Kelsey whacked Mandy with her reins.

"Hey!"

"Would everyone please listen." Haldir looked like a kid coming home with his A+ story. It was so cute.

We all fell silent . . . well, except for me.

"Tell us a happy story, Haldir, Gondolin is sad."

"Then why don't you tell the story?"

"Because Kelsey wanted you to. But I will tell a story, and it will rock your socks."

"Just as long as there is no opera in it." Legolas pleaded.

"Once upon a time-"

"Why does it have to start that way?" Imrahil asked.

"BECAUSE I'M TELLLING THE FREAKIN STORY!" I yelled, "Anyways, once upon a time . . . okay, drop the ending . . . or beginning . . . or-"

"Get on with it!" Eomer sighed.

"There once was a little girl named Marie. She was a happy child until she got into sixth grade. That year, she went out with a guy named James Bond (this is not a coincidence)-"

"How is that a coincidence?" Sam asked.

"Her best friend, Stephanie, however, hated Bond's guts. Bond took this as an insult and took it out on Marie by leaving her for stupid exhibitions to England. (Not that we have anything against the English, just the fake English)"

"Where's England?" Frodo asked.

"WOULD YOU PEOPLE STOP INTERUPTING!" I screamed, "Eventually, Marie decided she had had enough and dumped Bond. He sought revenge. The End."

"That's a lame story." Mandy said, turning pink.

"Of course it is, it's your life's story."

"Then there has to be more to it." Legolas eagerly inquired.

"Of course." I replied, "She is after all, still alive."

"Is it a better story?" Eomer asked, genuinely interested (He's the soap opera type.)

"You'll see." I cleared my throat, "The Sequel!"

"That would mean it's the next part." Mandy said, proud that she knew what sequel meant.

"James Bond" I interrupted loudly, "sent the evil Goth Monster after Marie and her naive friends. The Goth Monster revealed evil scenes of dark and destructive powers to the innocent children."

"What's the Goth monster?" Sam asked.

"Sh." Eomer shushed him and leaned forward, "This is gripping."

I giggled, "Marie made a great and powerful wish on a full moon (and barely escaped the evil werewolves of Bond, but that's another story) to her faery friend and other self from an alternate universe, Lily. Lily ascended from the telephone-"

"What's a-"

"STOP INTERUPTING!" Eomer whacked the unfortunate Legolas.

I continued, still grinning, "-whilst Marie awaited a call from knight loser brain, Sir Robin of La Santa Antoni who was his patron and true love though Marie didn't know this (but that too is another story.) Lily raised her magic baton and sent the Goth monster to her land's prison, Alcatraz. But trouble resided still. The End"

"How is it the end?" Eomer cried out, "There is still drama to be told!"

"Calm down, Eomer!" Kelsey patted his back, "There's always another sequel."

"Then tell us, Lady, Nicole." He looked kind of desperate, so I, warming to my task, began again.

"Knight loser brain, Sir Robin of La Santa Antoni who was his patron and true love though Marie didn't know this (but that too is another story) decided just watching Marie sing and dance with her sisters at the drama department wasn't enough. He struck where she was most vulnerable, dispelling Stephanie, her protector, lady of the kitchen with a vengeance (which happens to be a breed of rainstorm)."

"Wait . . . rainstorm?" Haldir received a whack this time.

"Knight loser brain, Sir Robin of La Santa Antoni who was his patron and true love though Marie didn't know this (but that too is another story) then kidnapped Marie and took her to his castle Schliterbahn of the thousand slides (Knight loser brain, Sir Robin of La Santa Antoni who was his patron and true love though Marie didn't know this (but that too is another story.) loved to slide down water slides and sit in his billion hot tubs.)"

"That's confusing." Sam scratched his head and ducked to avoid a blow from Eomer.

"Marie, using her magic power of the girlfriend, dumped knight loser brain, Sir Robin of La Santa Antoni who was his patron and true love though Marie didn't know this (but that too is another story.) and sent him, with the assistance of Lily to Alcatraz. The End."

"Now you can talk." Eomer sat back on his horse.

"Could you explain the "Power of the Girlfriend" thing?" Elrohir asked, "That sounds a lot like Mandy dumping people off of their horses and into piles of dead orcs."

"And what is with Knight loser brain, Sir – whatever his name is?" Elladan asked, "his name is way too long."

"Well, there's more to it now." I told them, "The final sequel."

"Another one?" Eomer looked as if Christmas had come early . . . or as if he'd just discovered Christmas.

"Now where was I?" I mused, "Oh yes, Marie had just dumped Sir what's-his-face."

"Good for her." Kelsey cheered.

"Marie, grieving at the unfairness of the world, died - mentally, at least."

"What's so unfair?" Haldir ducked.

"Her boyfriend was a loser." Kelsey whispered, narrowly avoiding Eomer.

"She wandered along penguin infested hallways and tripped down a flight of stairs. The Prince Not-mentioned-before-this-part caught Marie in her cluelessness." I began to dramatize every word, "A drop of Lily's perfume (which happened to be made with the drug on Cupid's arrows)"

"Who's Cupid?" Legolas asked, getting whacked again. He just doesn't know how to duck.

"-dropped onto Marie from the ceiling and bounced onto Prince Not-mentioned-before-this-part, ensuring their happiness for the rest of eternity (which is good because they both accidentally drank an immortalizing energy drink Lily left lying around)."

"She's not a very responsible faery." Sam commented, ducking again.

"The End!" I finished dramatically, dropping into my splits, atop my carpet, "The Happy Ending of all endings!"

"That looks painful." Imrahil shielded his eyes.

"Wanna try it?" I asked.

"Nickel, be normal!" Kelsey sighed.

Mandy's PoV

"The city is in sight!" some herald guy yelled, "We shall arrive by nightfall."

"Please stow away all overhead luggage and fasten your seatbelts." I muttered to Legolas, who didn't get the joke, having never ridden an airplane.

At the gate of the white city stood Faramir, ready to welcome the king and hand over his keys and all that good stuff. As Faramir and all of Aragorn's people knelt before him, I heard Kelsey gaping and gawking with pride. Now who's the parental unit.

"Isn't it sweet? She sighed, "He's going to be a wonderful king, I just know it."

"You also read the books, Kelsey." Nicole pointed out, "It's not that hard to see that he'll be a good king."

Kelsey flapped her hand for silence.

"Oh good, it's over, I'm ready for bed." Nicole pulled Kelsey and I onto the carpet and flew off toward our stolen house. Except, it was already taken.

"I don't care if you're elves, or men of Numenor, or legends sprung from the sea!" Shouted the old man as his wife beat us back with a broom, "You're not taking over my house!"

"Geez." Nicole brushed a bit of straw off her shoulder, "He sure is grouchy."

"It's not just that," Kelsey stared horror struck at the sky, "We have nowhere to sleep!" It was at that very moment that every gate in the city was shut till morning.

"Carpet, Nickel." I sighed, incredibly tired.

"Erm . . . uh, I don't have it."

"What do you mean?" Kelsey and I shrieked.

"I let it go for the night – how was I supposed to know someone lived in that house?"

"Great." I muttered, "Just Great, "You tell my embarrassing life's story to everyone in the army, then you get us stuck in the – what circle is this anyway? – the middle of this hospitalization style city! I'm going to go insane!"

"Uh, Mandy." Nicole said cautiously, "You are insane."

Nice long chappie that presents a bit of Mandy's background personality. I wrote that story with Gina to send her BF (Prince Not-mentioned-before-this-part) to her horror. I have kept it ever since.