It was a dark and stormy night. A crash of thunder jolted him awake; fell asleep in the lab again. He looked around to see if anyone had seen him but he was alone. Querl then checked the EEG monitors. It was habit, by now.
It had taken days of work to separate the sockets and their associated cerebral network interface from Brainiac 4's brain tissue. The damage was severe but they'd done their best. It was well known that Coluans were among the lucky few species whose brain cells reproduced, allowing their brains to truly heal. Nevertheless, the outlook was bleak. Only her brainstem showed any activity - only that necessary to run her heart, lungs, and other basic functions. All higher cerebral function was flatlined.
The encouragement to let her go had started almost immediately; time had only made it worse. Why show such dedication to a woman who'd tried to kill him? She was effectively brain-dead; why waste resources on a woman who would never wake up? He should pull the plug on her, it was a better death than she deserved (thank you, Umbra, not.) Three months on, the talk had gotten stronger. After nine months, some were threatening to have his psyche evaluated. Querl listened to every discouraging word and thanked his collegues for their concerns. And he watched. And he waited.
He cared for her himself, taking on her medical care but also the menial duties of bathing her, changing her IVs and setting the electrical pulse machines that would contract her muscles and prevent them atrophying completely. He checked her EEG scans as often as others checked their chronometers. As the months stretched into a year, they showed no change.
Until now. Until two hours ago, a few minutes after midnight, when each trace had fired into furious activity, one after the other, like a twenty-one gun salute. Her emotional traces were going off the scale. Querl stared in shock, then got to his feet and raced towards the medlabs. He opened the door to Brainiac 4's room and got another shock. "...Mother?"
She was sitting on the edge of her bed, silhouetted against the stormlight, and sobbing quietly into her hands. "Mother?" She didn't respond but she did react, flinching and turning away from him, sobbing harder. He hadn't expected her to be conscious, not so soon! She'd only just resumed function! He waffled, wondering what to do. Colu wasn't a society that initiated or accepted contact lightly, and his mother had been isolated besides. What should he do? What did he want to do? - That he could answer. He sat down on the bed and put his arms around her, resisting her feeble attempts to pull away, "Mother, it's me, it's Querl. Your son. I'm here, Mother."
She tried to speak but was choked off by heavy sobs. Querl wondered what to expect. Did she comprehend what he was saying? If so, how much? Not even Coluans came out of coma this suddenly, much less this completely. Near as he could tell, her brain had waited until it was mostly healed, then - to borrow a computer metaphor - had booted her up all at once! He rocked her gently, rubbing her back and feeling the ridge of blonde down that ran along her spine, beneath her shirt. He didn't have such a ridge but his great-grandmother had. He himself had recovered from severe injury with surprising speed and completeness; he wondered what other traits their alien ancestress had given to the Brainiacs. She swallowed and tried again, "S-shame... guilt... h-horror..."
"You did terrible things, Mother," he said softly, "But you were driven to them out of desperation, because of what was done to you. But that's over now, Mother. Your sockets are out and your mind is healed. You're free."
"..where?"
"We're in the medlab, Mother."
"..w-why? Why here? Not..."
Querl's face cleared as he understood, "Not another institute? No, I will not permit that, not after what happened." He stroked her hair and explained, "You were under the care of a Doctor Regulus, were you not? He kept in regular contact with me and requested my assistance many times. He had three different telepaths delve you. He then disappeared and I received a letter from the institute requesting that I cease contact regarding you. I was informed that such communications were impeding your progress. I obeyed. I should have known better; I regret not investigating further. The three telepaths who delved you are no longer alive. All met with various accidents. Of Doctor Regulus I can find no trace." He was starting to shake with anger and held her close to quell it. "I now believe that the telepaths were assassinated, possibly Doctor Regulus as well. I believe that they were close to uncovering what the Council had done to you. Furthermore, I believe that I was deliberately misled, so that I would not investigate further. I believe the Council is behind this. That they would manipulate me in this way is infuriating." He hugged her tight and said fiercely, "I will not abandon you again, Mother."
"How can you call me that, after what I... I.. I tried to..." she broke into hysterical sobbing and tried to pull away, burying her face in her hands.
But Querl wouldn't let go. "You abandoned me at birth, yes. You tried to torture me to death, yes."
"..then...h-how can..."
Querl shook his head, "You committed terrible crimes, motivated by desperation because of what was done to you. But under the same motivation, you also did a lot of good. The Septumvirate was prosperous under you. The people you served as a hero loved you. The charities you sponsored as Brainia Starr commended your generosity. Your potential for good is at least as high as your capacity for evil. I had to know what kind of person you would be, now that you are unimpeded. I would like to add that the Council was perfectly aware that your neural network impeded your emotions. The fact that they deliberately made you what you became makes me want to poke them all with very sharp sticks."
Brainiac 4's weeping had slowed down as she listened, but now she gave him a Look. He smiled briefly and continued, "Not that they intended that you should take the actions that you did, but they had to have known that crippling you emotionally would cause serious psychological issues. However, the remorse that you are feeling now proves beyond doubt that you are inoti what the Council made you to be. Left to develop normally, I would put the probability as high that you would NOT have taken the actions that you did. You would not have abandoned me at birth, you would not have become the leader of the Dark Circle and you would not have tried to kill me in the most painful and protracted way imaginable. Conclusion -" he took her chin and tilted her face, gazing intently into streaming eyes, the same shape and colour as his own, "You are not evil."
That knocked her back into hysterical sobs again. Querl drew her against his shoulder and rocked her like a child. "Let it out, Mother," he whispered, only now aware that his own face was wet, "No one is here, there's just the two of us. No one else can see you. I won't leave you alone." He rested his cheek on the top of her head, a contact as intimate as a kiss, on Colu.
Brainiac 4 sobbed as hard as her body could manage, rising until she was nearly screaming. Memories rushed over her in an intense flood, but of all the atrocities she'd committed, the ones that pained her most were the memories of trying to kill her own son. Eventually her sobs stopped and she settled into a soul-wrenching keening. Throughout it all, Querl held her, steady as an anchor.
Finally, he felt her arm slip tentatively around his waist. "...sorrow...s-shame... apology..."
"Sorrow, valid. Shame, valid. Apology..." his voice cracked, "Wholly accepted." She sagged in his arms. He felt her other arm slide around him, and Brainiac 4 embraced her son for the first time.
"...my head hurts..."
"Unsurprising," Querl had a tension headache of his own, blossoming behind his eyes, "Do you wish an analgesic?"
"Yes. ...please."
Querl smiled, noting the afterthought addition - of course she would be unaccustomed to etiquette. He kissed the top of her head and got up to get two glasses of zyxra nectar from the replicator. She took one and sipped, belatedly remembering to say 'thank you.' He smiled, and this time kissed her cheek. "I have learned something else, Mother," he said presently, "The Council were divided on the experiment that centered on you. Some Councillors were quite fiercely opposed and tried to halt the experiment. I located the notes of one of them, now deceased. It appears she was quite actively trying to rescue you... and she had given you a name."
Brainiac 4 looked up, surprised, "She did? I have a name?"
"It was never officially recorded. Indeed, I don't believe Councillor Chen ever shared it with anyone. It appeared she wished to adopt you and had named you in her heart, so to speak. However, it is the only name I have been able to find. Councillor Chen would have named you 'Xoanon.' Xoanon Dox." Querl watched his mother carefully as her lips framed the name, trying it on for size. "Does the name displease? If it displeases, we can certainly..."
"No, the name does not displease," she said, tearing up again, "It could be 'Fred' and it would not displease. The name is suitable." She turned and hugged him tightly, the tears spilling over.