A/N: Thank you so much for your comments and reviews. As some of you may have noticed, I am not necessarily picking the most obvious moments for some characters. I am just trying to pinpoint some moments that may have slipped by and take a closer look at them. I hope that you like it. I am working ont he next chapter of MM, never fear!
Regret
He heard the door open and sensed someone entering the room, but he hadn't the energy to open his eyes. He heard a soft intake of breath and turned his head, his eyes fluttering open to see Lorelai standing at the foot of his bed, staring at him with a look of utter devastation. She gave him a small, uncomfortable smile, and he was just about to open his mouth to speak when the door burst open and Emily, Rory and Joshua entered the room. Once again, the moment was lost. There hadn't been many of these moments over the past sixteen years. But there were moments, and Richard would come to regret each one.
Once she had been the light of his life. Beautiful, bright, inquisitive and determined. Even as a child she fascinated him. Her bright blue eyes captivated him from the moment he first held her in his arms. Her facile mind and quick wit amused him. Her intelligence made him pleased and proud. She was a magical creature dropped into their midst, shaking up their orderly world and mystifying her adoring father more and more with each passing year. He could never understand what she expected of him, but he knew without a doubt that she found him lacking. He just didn't know what he was missing. He had provided a beautiful home, with more toys and clothes than ten children needed. There were the best nannies, the best schools, and the best extracurricular instructors. The best of everything, but still, it was never enough for Lorelai.
As she grew older and more rebellious, he thought that she was simply spoiled, too indulged by her parents who spent their lives trying to tame this tempest in their house. He distanced himself further from her each year. Richard Gilmore was raised in a world where children were meant to be seen, but not heard, and Lorelai demanded to be heard. As men of his generation did, he left it to her mother to get her straightened out and on the right path. Unfortunately, Emily didn't have any better insight into their daughter than he did.
She was a complete puzzle to him. As determined as he was, as stubborn and single minded as her mother. Charming and compliant one moment, and then completely out of control the next. By the time she had become a teenager, she was a virtual stranger to him. The day that she told them that she was pregnant, Richard Gilmore's carefully constructed house of cards came tumbling down around him. He sat silently, listening to Emily, Straub and Francine try to sort out the mess that their children had gotten themselves into. As tempers frayed, he listened to it all swirling around him as he saw all of his hopes and dreams for his daughter eddy down the drain. When he finally spoke, he said in a calm voice, "They will get married, they will live here, and Christopher will go to work at my company. That is the solution. Now, we have a plan so we can all stop talking about it. Please excuse me, I have work to do," he said as he rose from his chair, anxious for the sanctuary of his study.
Of course, Lorelai would have nothing to do with her father's plan for her life. She refused Christopher's offer of marriage, shunning help from her parents, even going so far as to call a cab to take her to the hospital when she went into labor. She brought Rory home to their house, and when Richard looked into his granddaughter's bright blue eyes, he fell in love all over again. They tried to make things easier for Lorelai, bringing in nannies for Rory, encouraging her to go back to school, to pick up the tattered shreds of her life, but Lorelai seemed to be shrinking in front of their eyes.
And then, one day, she was gone, leaving nothing but a note and her mother's broken heart behind. Richard spent his days and nights trying to console his devastated wife while he hired the best private detectives to track their wayward daughter down. With each passing day, with each tear that Emily shed, Richard's anger and frustration grew, obliterating the tender feelings he had for his daughter, and hardening his heart. Eventually, they located her in a tiny town about thirty miles from Hartford, working as a maid at an inn. Emily tried time after time to contact Lorelai, begging, pleading, demanding and threatening her daughter, desperate to have them home where she knew they would be safe. Lorelai dug her heels in and refused all contact with her parents, determined to build a life completely separate from them.
As Rory grew a little older, Lorelai finally accepted Emily's overtures, as she had decided that it was important for Rory to know that she had grandparents, even if she only saw them at holidays. The first few visits were contentious and strained, usually ending in Emily screaming at Lorelai, and Lorelai gathering a crying Rory and storming from the house. But, every Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter, Lorelai always brought Rory back to see her grandparents. The first of these moments of possible rapprochement came at Christmastime. Emily had given Rory a beautiful china doll, in a Lucite case, of course. As Lorelai looked at it she smiled softly, remembering a similar doll she had herself at Rory's age. Richard looked over at Lorelai and said without thinking, "She looks like Bettina," referring to Lorelai's doll by name.
Lorelai's eyes flashed to her father's in surprise as she murmured, "Yes, she does." She gaped at him for a moment, searching for something to say to him, some way of acknowledging that she did remember how it used to be between them.
Richard watched her struggle for a moment and then cleared his throat, looking over at Emily and asking, "What time are we due at the Gunderson's?"
And so it went, year after year. Moments like these slipping by before either of them could engage their brain and make the words come from their lips. Rory began to grow into a young lady, and Lorelai grew into a successful woman in her own world. When she came to them about money for Rory's tuition for Chilton, Richard was actually slightly displeased by the arrangement Emily had struck. He had gotten used to the polite distance. He had become comfortable with having a polite stranger for a daughter. It seemed to suit them both equally well. But as he grew to know Rory, he came to understand what an exceptional child she was, and appreciate the hard work Lorelai had put in raising her, even if he didn't necessarily agree with her methods.
Richard's eyes lingered on his daughter, wishing the moment back. As Emily, Rory and Joshua discussed his condition he tried in vain to make Lorelai see, his eyes pleading with her for understanding. Lorelai blushed slightly and looked away as the others discussed keeping him in the hospital over night. Richard sighed softly, knowing that once again he had missed his chance. He watched as his only child offered a weak smile and slipped out of the room, away from him again.