Shower Thoughts

Disclaimer: I keep telling you. I don't own Harry Potter. How many times do I have to say it?

Tuesday

Remus Lupin

She didn't say anything. Not a word. Just pretended he was invisible. Well, she does that normally, I suppose, but when this year started, she – Why am I thinking this sort of thing in the shower? I'm stupid. The shower is not my thought diary, I don't even keep one anyway. I should only think shower-related thoughts. Such as: should I use my normal, rose scented soap? Or opt for James' strawberry one? I wonder which one Emmel – No. Shower-related. My normal rose one I think. Strawberries are not my scent. Hang on, is that still shower-related?

Dorcas Meadowes

Today was such a bore. Why on earth did we have to take the long way to every class? My feet hurt from all the extra stairs we had to climb. All to avoid Potter and his stupid question. I'm still wondering why Lily won't answer it. I mean it was pretty straight-forward. Not. "I know you –" Goddammit. Emmeline has been using my exfoliating facial wash stuff. She doesn't even get zits. Her and Lily with their perfect porcelain skin faces. Hmph. And I get all the blackheads.

"Dorcas, would you please get out of there? I would like to have a shower sometime this year!"

Sirius Black

After recovering from the painful shock of the soap attack – Evil soap, I am never touching you again – I have decided to face my fears and step back into the shower. I just won't use the soap. Oh, but I smell… No. I shall not use the evil blinding soap. Oh, but, deodorant can hurt, especially if I spray it in my eyes…What's deodorant doing near my eyes anyway? Like my eyes smell…Wait, do they? Oh no…

"Prongs! Do my eyes smell?"

"I…don't think so."

"Smell them! Tell me if my eyes smell!"

"Sirius, can you please get back into the bathroom? The water's still running and…well, it'd be better if you had a towel on."

"How dare you Moony! All I wanted to know was if my eyes smell!"

"His eyes smell?"

"Don't ask me."

Emmeline Vance

Still no reply from Lily. We had to take the long route to every class just to avoid Potter. I think we saw Peeves three times and I know that my hair will never be the same again. Damn it, how do you get chewing gum out? Any ideas? What about you soap? Shampoo? Empty conditioner bottle that Dorcas used the last of? Towel? Anybody?

James Potter

I am invisible. Hehe, not really. Like I'd bring my precious Invisibility Cloak into the shower. Anyway, I'm invisible to Lily, I know that. She has avoided me all day. I wonder if she wants to answer my question, but she can't 'cause that would be saying too much…Whoa, I think way too much in the shower. Oh crap, that soap's slippery. Where was I? Oh yeah…

"Sirius! Quit using my shampoo!"

"But it makes my hair so soft and silky…"

"Oh yeah? Well, it does that to mine too, so –"

"But my hair's longer than yours, which means I should have rights over the shampoo that makes my hair so silky."

"Padfoot! My mum only sends me one bottle of that a month, and I only ever get to use one-quarter of it!"

"Well, ask her to send another bottle for me! Then you won't have to storm out in the middle of your shower and yell at me and then have me try and take you seriously when you're naked and wearing that shower cap."

"Hmph."

Lily Evans

I am so tired. I made Dorcas and Emmeline take the long way to all of our classes so that we wouldn't run into Potter. We didn't, which I suppose is good, but now Dorcas and Emmeline aren't talking to me 'cause they don't understand why I just don't answer him. But I have no idea of how to put my answer. Ever since I found out he was Head Boy, everything has gone slightly strange. At first I was furious that Dumbledore could even think about putting him as Head Boy alongside me. But, then something else came in. I don't really want to admit it, but I think I –

"Lily get out of there! Stop drowning yourself and come see what we've done."

"What have you done? Oh guys…"

"We know we were a bit mad at you, but then we decided to surprise you!"

"And after we leave, you can take them with you and remember your two best friends the best way imaginable."

"Oh, and they move too!"

"Of course. They are wizard photographs."

"Thanks guys."

"Promise us one thing though."

"What?"

"You have to answer Potter by the end of the week."

Peter Pettigrew

It's not fair. James and Sirius and Remus used all of the hot water and now I have to have a freezing cold shower. It's freaking cold! I think I'm turning blue. I can't even hold onto James' soap, I'm shivering so much.

"Eek! Somebody, help me up!"

"I'd rather not. I'm extremely absorbed in this book, Peter."

"Oh, you know, robes to fold, underwear to iron."

"Um…um…Oh geez, why me?"

"Thanks Padfoot, you're so kind."

"Yeah, sure. Can you stand – Aargh!"

Calling together "Prongs! Moony! We need help!"

"Can't you two just have a shower without a disaster? And it's always me who has to help."

"No, normally it's me."

"No, me."

"No, me."

"No, me."

"No, me."

"No, –"

"Help us up!"

"Oh, alright. Take my hand. No, wait, I'm supposed to pull, not –"

Singing "Three little Marauders lying on the floor. They called for help so Prongsie came to the door. He tried to help us, but he began to fall. Now there's four little Marauders lying on the floor."

"Shut up Peter."