Shower Thoughts
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is mine! No…wait…that was the dream I had last night…sorry.
Also, Lidia Caracella isn't mine either. I just borrowed her.
Wednesday
Lily Evans
When will this week end? Dorcas and Emmeline keep pushing me and pushing me (sometimes literally) to answer Potter. It's not that I don't want to answer him, it's just…Well, some questions have answers that are just too complicated to put into words. Do you know the type? Hang on, why am I talking to the shower? Like it knows. Anyway, I wish they would just –
"Liiily! We've got a questionnaire for you!"
"Come and answer it, post haste!"
"What, what is it?"
"Read…"
"And answer."
"Guys, this is just one question over and – Hey! No way! You can have your questionnaire!"
"Oh, but if you answer it, we can just give it to Potter and you won't have to say a word."
"No." Storms off
"Why did she just lock herself in the bathroom? WE NEED OUR SHOWERS TOO, LILY!"
Sirius Black
Right. This new girl that I haven't really met before, Lidia Caracella or something, gave me this shampoo. She heard about my soap incident (Evil soap, I know you're out to get me.) and felt sorry for me, the nice girl. Anyway, she says the shampoo is no tears. And when I didn't understand that, she told me that it means that it won't hurt if I get it my eyes. I told her that that was good and I attempted to hug her. She attempted (without success) to throw her…football, I think it was, at me. So let's use this new shampoo! Ooh, mango scented…Now let's see what happens if I put some into my eyes…
"AARGH! NO TEARS MY ASS! THIS IS WORSE THAN SOAP! HELP ME PRONGS!"
Sighs "What is it this time, Padfoot?"
"I put the shampoo in my eyes and now I'm blind!"
"Did you say put? Well, then of course it would hurt."
"Stop the pain! MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!"
"You shouldn't have put the shampoo in your eyes."
"PRONGS, YOU'RE NOT HELPING!"
"I know."
Emmeline Vance
After forcing Lily out of the bathroom, I've finally managed to get in. Dorcas is trying to convince her to answer the questionnaire we wrote, but I think Lily's hidden herself under her bed. We were trying to make things so much easier for her, and she is just ignoring the perfect chance to answer the question, but not have to talk to Potter in the process. She is missing out on the perfect chance to answer the question…Geez, it's a yes or no question, it's not that hard to –
"Emmeline, you try! I want my shower! And you had better not be using my apple scented body wash!"
Oops…
James Potter
After helping Padfoot, get the shampoo out of his eyes, I now have some time in the shower. Some time to think, to ponder, to consider, contemplate, deliberate, mull over, reflect, think about, muse on…I decided to read a thesaurus, alright? Is that such a crime? So many people think that me and Padfoot are just pretty boys, but who has top marks in Transfiguration? Oh yeah, that's me! Even Lily is beneath me in that; she's second. Yes, I beat Lily in something! Wait, why am I celebrating in the shower? I should share this with the whole world!
"I'm better than Lily at something!"
"That's nice Prongs…"
"Couldn't you have waited until you put some clothes on to start dancing around the dormitory?"
"No! I have to tell everyone now!"
"He…He didn't…He didn't just run down the stairs naked, into the common room where all of those first-years are studying…did he?"
"He did, Padfoot."
"He'll regret it in about one minute from now."
Peter Pettigrew
Because bad things keep happening to me in here, I was less than happy to come back. But then Sirius was holding his nose, saying that I stank, and Remus, with a peg on his nose, pushed me in here. So here I am. Another shower. Who invented the shower anyway? They must have smelt and didn't want to lie down for a bath. I like baths. Why can't we have baths? No, only the prefects are allowed baths. Remus could have one. But he says it's too much bother and he's afraid he'll fall asleep and drown. I wouldn't be. At least my legs wouldn't end up hurting from standing up the whole time. My legs hurt. Why do we have legs? They just end up hurting. Why is there so much pain in the world? Why is there so much pain in my legs? Wait a minute…
"AARGH! Spider! It's biting me!"
"Whatever Wormtail."
"I'm sure it's just a figment of your imagination."
"No seriously! The poison, it's spreading throughout my…"
"I think he was serious."
"No, I'm Sirius."
"Idiot."
"We should take him to the hospital wing."
"Better put some clothes on him first."
"EWW! I AM NOT DRESSING A NAKED, WET AND UNCONSCIOUS PETER PETTIGREW!"
"We didn't ask you to."
"Just ignore him. When he's under his bed, it's Sirius time."
"… I don't want to think about what he is doing under there."
"… No, you probably don't."
Remus Lupin
At last, I have some time to myself in the shower. Some time to think out my thoughts. Right. Now then today, James ran into Lily five times, and every time, it was awkward with nothing being said by either of them. You can tell they're so in love… So why doesn't Lily answer the question? It's obvious she wants to, but anytime there's an opening in the conversation, it's always… 'So, you like cheesecake? I like cheesecake.' What the hell is this school's recent obsession with cheesecake? We never have it for dessert at dinner, so why is everyone talking about it and eating it between classes? I'll have to investigate…After all; it is my job as a prefect to find out where all this suspicious cheesecake is coming from…
Dorcas Meadowes
Now it's Emmeline's turn to try and get Lily to answer the questionnaire. Don't think it's quite working though. For goodness sake, we make things easier for her and what does she do? Ignore all of our efforts and hide under her bed. What is it with her and being under her bed? Mine has dust bunnies under it. But they're my friends so I don't mind. See the big one is called Dustina, and the smaller one is named Dorcas, after me. And then there's the boy one, Dustin, he's cool and he's in love with Dorcas. … I could write a sitcom! Yeah…They have Days of Our Lives; this could be Days of the Dust Bunnies. I could make a million dollars! I could make a movie! I could get –
"Dorcas! She's stuck under her bed! We need some help out here!"
"Help! I'm stuck…my foot…"
"Oh geez…"