Shower Thoughts

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but I do own the thoughts that race through my mind when I'm having a shower! So there! That song I put in isn't mine either.

A/N: okay, okay, stop throwing the tomatoes! I know that I haven't updated in ages, but have any of my fellow writers ever heard of 'writer's block'? Yeah, well, I had it. But now, thanks to fairydustandcansofspam Genairco Chook, and full time freak's mp3 player, I'm back and read to roll! P. S. I apologize if certain stuff doesn't exactly fit in with the time frame of Lily and James. But some stuff I couldn't put in another story 'cause I wanted it just right, so I get to put it in this one instead! Yay!

Dedicated to a very special Pashka.

Thursday

Remus Lupin

Wow. Thursday. Amazing how quickly the week goes. Tomorrow's gonna be Friday. Goodness. The week's just flown by.

I wish it wasn't the full moon next week. I wish I wasn't a werewolf. And I really wish that a shooting star would come by right now so I could wish all of this properly. I wish cheesecake didn't exist. … Hot water is annoying. It's never the right temperature. But you have to put up with it. Cold water's worse. It's just cold. Warm water is alright, if you're into that kind of thing. Lukewarm water however –

"Moony! Are you gonna be much longer? You know, I don't think it's possible to wash the werewolf out of you!"

"Moony might just prove you wrong there, Prongsie. He's certainly been in there long enough to drown himself!"

"Why are we all yelling at the bathroom door?"

"Oh, Remus is just trying to drown himself."

Bangs on door "Don't do it Remus! I love you! Live for me! For me!!!"

"Um, Peter?"

"Yes?"

"He's not actually drowning himself. It's a figure of speech."

"Oh."

Awkward pause

"I'm going to…um…go now." Hurried footsteps.

"Did he just –"

"He did, Remus."

"He looooves you, he wants to kiiiiss you and hoooold you…"

"Stick it, Padfoot."

Dorcas Meadowes

Dorcas Black. Mrs Dorcas Black. Mrs Dorcas Black. Dorcas and Sirius. Sirius and Dorcas. Black and Meadowes. Meadowes and Black. Mrs Dorcas Meadowes–Black. Mrs Dorcas Black–Meadowes. That one sounds so cool.

Okay. Kids' names…Kids' names…Nancy Black–Meadowes. Nah, doesn't sound right. Pauline Black–Meadowes. Too many syllables. Suzie Black–Meadowes. I never liked the name Suzie.

Heather Black–Meadowes? No…Alice Black–Meadowes? …Emma Black–Meadowes. … Emmeline Black–Meadowes! Nah, she'd probably take it the wrong way. Jenny Black–Meadowes. No. For some reason that reminds me of flower pots. Vanessa Black–Meadowes. Now that sounds cool. Gothically psychedelic…

"Dorcas, honestly, there has got to be a law against how many minutes you can spend in the shower!"

"There is in Australia, I think."

"What?"

"They have water restrictions or something. They're only allowed to have four-minute showers."

"Four minutes? Are you serious Lily? I'd never get my hair washed that quickly."

"Well, just tell Dorcas that we're on water restrictions and she has to get out of the shower before the water police come around."

Bangs loudly on the door "Dorcas! If you don't get out of the shower right now, the water police are gonna come around and say that you're the reason that the country's in a drought!"

"The country's in a drought? Why didn't you tell me earlier, Emmeline?"

"I can hear them coming, Dorcas. Their water boots are sloshing up the stairs!"

"Eek! I'm out, I'm out!" Rushes out of bathroom.

"Thanks Dorcas, I really need to wash my hair."

"Hey, you little –" Door slams in her face.

James Potter

Sigh. Women. They live to confuse us. How dare they. We were here first. It says so in that Muggle book with all the pretty pictures. The Holy Bib or something.

What a funny word. Bib. What's another weird word…Egg. That's a weird word. Really weird. Two G's? Who came up with that? Must've been high…Another word…No, I think I'm still pondering egg. … Hmmm….egg…maybe it means…egg…what are some other egg words? Egghead, eggplant, eggshell…eggcellent. … What does egg mean?

"Prongs, some of us would like a shower!"

"Hold on…What does egg mean?"

"Egg? Why the hell do you wanna know what that means?"

"'Cause it's a weird word. Remus?"

"Egg is defined in the dictionary as: a body produced by females of birds, insects, etc. and capable of developing into a new individual."

"I still don't get –"

Door slams open "You can have the shower now Peter."

Muffled behind the door. "What about me?"

Peter Pettigrew

I'm not even gonna begin to think about what happened earlier. Just thank Merlin that I got back into the dormitory quietly.

Guess what we had for dinner? Due to recent demand we finally had some cheesecake! Except then it turned into a cheesecake fight and most of it ended up on me…So that's why I'm in he shower so early. Cheesecake is so nice though…It feels like I'm hurting it because I have to wash it down the drain. Poor cheesecake, it never hurt anyone; it never had the chance… Eww…it's in my hair…I'll have to 'borrow' Remus' shampoo. His smells so nice…all piny and lemony…like disinfectant or something…I wonder if he knows that his shampoo smells like disinfectant? I certainly wouldn't want my hair to be washed with disinfectant…The little hair I have would be washed out, wouldn't it? I wonder what the effects would be if I used disinfectant on my hair? I wonder if anyone has ever actually used disinfectant as a shampoo. They certainly would have to be a real hygiene freak to wanna use disinfectant as a shampoo…I mean; some disinfectants are pretty awful…

"Does anyone have any disinfectant handy?"

"Excuse me?"

"Disinfectant. Do you have any Moony?"

"No…Why would I keep disinfectant 'handy'?"

"I dunno. Thought you were a hygiene freak."

"I'm not, but maybe you should become one."

"Why? What did I do?"

"You just dripped cheesecake into my evening glass of milk."

"Oh. Sorry."

"No you're not."

Emmeline Vance

I've got a date! I've got a date! I've got a –

Lily should really tell James her thoughts. Or at least a yes or a no.

"I've got a date! Hurrah! Date, date, date…"

"Emmeline, why do you have a date?"

"'Cause Remus asked me!"

"Um…okay…Why are you eating one in the shower?"

Lily should really tell James what she thinks. When someone asks you a question, it's only good manners to answer them. And I thought Lily was polite.

I think I might sing again. My head hurts from thinking about Lily's dilemma.

"I've got a date! I've got a date! Datey, datey, datey, datey, date, date, date!"

"Emmeline…"

"Just leave her."

"But Lily –"

"She's got a date with Remus this weekend. You can't blame her for being happy about it."

"How on earth did she manage to get –"

"He asked her out the other day."

"No fair! I want a date."

"Here you go."

"How did you get dates in a box?"

"Um…It's quite easy."

"Hey, these are dates!"

"Can I have one?"

"You've already got one."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"What are we talking about?"

"I don't even know anymore."

"Dates or dates?"

"Dates."

"Dates?"

"Dates."

"Okay then. Do you wanna date then, Emmeline?"

"No, I meant a date!"

"I've got some dates."

"I am so confused…"

Sirius Black

Singing and thinking I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…

"Sirius, would you shut up about being too sexy?"

"Never!"

I'm too sexy for Milan, too sexy for Milan, New York and Japan!

"Sirius! Seriously!"

"That didn't quite make sense."

"What sort of mother names her kid Sirius? I mean, seriously…"

"Quit saying serious!"

"I heard my name!"

"No you didn't."

"Okay then."

I'm a model you know what I mean, and I do my little turn on the catwalk. Yeah, on the catwalk on the catwalk, yeah. I do my little turn on the catwalk…

"Sirius!"

I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat, poor pussy, poor pussy cat. I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love; love's going to leave me!

"Does he even have a cat?"

"Maybe. I don't follow him. And I certainly don't ask him if he's too sexy for his cat."

"Why not?"

"Because – Shut up Peter!"

Lily Evans

Why does it have to take me so long to answer one question? I dunno…Isn't lisp a silly word? What about the people with lisps? How do they say that they have a lisp? It'd be so funny…Lisp, lisp, lisp…What about another weird word…Elephantiasis! Now that's strange! I wonder if anyone here has it? Probably that Hilary girl. Her limbs are really weird…Like ultra grossly enlarged…I should ask Emmeline. She knows everything about everyone. Just 'cause she has more friends than me…

"Hey Emmeline?"

"Yeah?"

"Does Hilary Heinemeier have elephantiasis?"

"What? Does she have what?"

"Elephantiasis."

"Um…actually, I think she did mention that once."

"Cool!"

"Or else she said she owned an elephant…"

"I own an elephant! An elephant dust bunny!"

"Oh, that's gross Dorcas, get away."

"Oh, no it escaped!"

"EWW! GIANT DUST BUNNY ON MY BEST ROBES! HOW DARE YOU!"

"I didn't mean to. Honestly." Mutters "Bwahahahaha. My plan worked."