Blind Leading The Blind

Author's note: Hey guys. I'm back from my vacation and settled in pretty well with the start of law school. Hope you all enjoyed the first episodes of season 5, especially the fantastic BL scenes. I'm undecided if I like the new season because Mark is still writing so cheesy and contrived LP scenes but great BL moments. He should for once open his eyes and recognize how much chemistry BL have….

Anyway… hope you like the new update although I'm not that happy with it…still not feeling my writing of the female characters….Lynn baby, where are you??…need your help here 

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill. Sadly the TV-series is belonging to Mark Schwahn. The song used in this chapter is written and performed by Nada Surf.

Chapter 8: Are you lightning?


Tree Hill, September 2011

For a while he sits there quietly on the bleachers and lets every emotion sink in.

Her scent still lingers on in the air and clouds his mind. He steals a quick glance around himself before he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. Meeting her again today definitely did not turn out the way he imagined it would. As he saw her for the first time at the cemetery he was surprised to say the least. She did not look like she was mad at him or even bitter at all. She just walked towards him the sadness and sorrow about Whitey's death evident in her eyes. The moment she offered him this comforting look he felt like she could relate to his pain. Like she knew that this was maybe the only thing in the world that could ease his pain for a second. He was grateful for this tiny gesture yet once again speechless when it was his turn to show her some kind of his own emotions.

Lucas opens his eyes and stares intensely at the empty spot right next to him. He can't quite shake off the familiar feeling of defeat and frustration causing sharp stings to his heart. Once again he let her walk away….and he can't for gods sake believe it. She sat there right next to him and he behaved like a complete idiot. Talking like he was some busy and important celebrity. He shakes his head slowly in disbelief and sighs. Somehow he can't erase the expression on Brooke's face from his mind when he told her about his breakup with Peyton. She seemed to be pretty sad and surprised about it and refused to even look at him this moment. Nevertheless he noticed how hurt by his revelation she really was.

And this is something that bothers him a lot. He anticipated her to be sad and surprised… but not hurt. The thing that tops all of this is the fact that he even tried to open up to her and to explain but she cut him off immediately. Somehow he never gets it right.

He furrows his brows and looks at the people still eating dinner or chatting quietly.

Brooke is sitting at the table holding a sleeping Jamie carefully in her lap while Nathan and Haley are dancing to the jazzy tune playing in the background.

He watches all of them for another moment or two before he gets up and proceeds to leave.

As he walks towards the exit of the gymnasium Lucas decides to make a detour and visit Whitey's office for old time's sake.

He approaches the office remembering the numerous times he was called in there to listen to the lectures of the old man about the importance of discipline and hard work or just his weekly fit of rage regarding his and Nate's childish rivalry.

A sad smile creeps over Lucas's face as he reaches for the doorknob and enters the room.

Not to his surprise the office still looks exactly the same like the last time he faced his coach here. The huge wooden desk is scattered with paper sheets, playbooks and game tapes. Whitey's mug is placed right next to his phone and the frame with a picture of his beloved wife Camilla. Lucas stands still for a second in the doorway feeling a bit nervous about entering the office. He never dared to come in here all alone and it seems to him now that he is somehow intruding. However one of the several memorabilia hanging on the wall catches his attention so he steps into the room to take a closer look. It is a picture of the team and the cheerleaders after their win of the state championship. Everybody is gathered around Whitey who is holding the trophy with a tight grip and an expression of utter satisfaction and pride on his face. Right next to him Nathan and Haley are kissing each other and Skills carrying Bevin on his shoulders. Lucas swallows hard when he spots himself holding Peyton in a tight embrace. She is all snuggled up against him resting her head in the crook of his neck. A bit distant from the whole group a familiar brunette cheerleader has her arms wrapped around herself staring at the happy crowd with a hurtful look on her face.

Lucas takes a step back and rubs his temples with his fingers. He can't really remember the moment that this picture was taken but it doesn't surprise him much. After he hit the buzzer beater for the win of the title everything kind of immerged into one big blur.

He only remembers embracing Brooke in a hug right after the final whistle and her letting him go to Peyton. Staring at this picture now sends shivers of guilt and pain down his spine.

This day he never really cared about Brooke or even tried to figure out how she felt.

He didn't question her decision about letting him go or even object.

Lucas clenches his fists and quickly averts his gaze. He squints and reaches out for Whitey's mug. He wants to take a sip from it but notices that it is empty. He scratches his head in frustration and with one single move leans over the desk and opens the bottom drawer where Whitey always hid his stash of whiskey.

As he gets a grip on the bottle and takes the first gulp all of his pent up tension and frustration unravels. The hot and sticky liquid runs down his throat effortlessly and establishes a warm and welcome feeling in his chest.

Slow and steady all of his thoughts and emotions drift out of his mind and the feeling of numbness washes over his body.

Lucas takes another gulp longing for the intoxicating liquid before he closes the door and leaves the gymnasium with the bottle in his hand.

"And so we meet and there are sparks,
Its gold it's new and free from sharks,
Your house is big it seems so clean,
Your cleaning lady comes and we're discreet."

The moment he steps out into the night Lucas stumbles forward, hit by the chilly breeze of the wind. Summer is coming to an end but the dark clouds and muggy air signalize that one last storm is about to roll in. Without any hurry Lucas walks towards the parking lot not caring about the first raindrops soaking his clothes or the clap of thunder clearly audible in the distance. As he is standing next to his car searching for the keys in his pocket Lucas can hear somebody shouting his name.

"Lucas"

He turns around surprised by the mention of his name and looks at the entrance of the gymnasium. There she is standing in the drizzling rain trying to cover her body with a coat held upon her head.

"What?" he shouts back with a bit too much aggression lingering in his voice.

"Haley wants you to come over for dinner tomorrow because it is my last day in Tree Hill and she wants us all to hang out together!" Brooke answers nervously fidgeting with the coat.

Lucas quickly buries the hip flask in his pocket and takes a few steps forward to Brooke's direction. Absentmindedly he runs his hand through his hair.

"Well Brooke, can you please tell Haley that I'm thankful for her invitation but I don't feel like I belong there with you guys." he slurs a bit trying to restrain himself.

"Wait Lucas! What's up with you?" Brooke asks with a somewhat puzzled expression on her face.

He runs his hand through his hair and wipes some water off his forehead. Now all of his clothes are soaked by the rain and stick tight to his body. Through the white drenched dress shirt his toned body is clearly visible what kind of irritates Brooke a bit. For a second she eyes him from head to toe and notices it that he is scrawnier and more muscular than the last time she saw him like this.

"Nothing is going on with me. I'm okay." Lucas responds sarcastically having a smirk on his face.

Brooke is slightly taken back by the irony evident in his voice and takes a few steps forward.

This doesn't seem to be the Lucas she knows from the past. This man in front her isn't the always caring and kind person she met in highschool and became quickly friends with.

Quite the contrary he doesn't seem to be really happy or content these days.

Brooke saw this look of anger, sadness and loneliness on his face back then in Los Angeles and having to deal with it now again scares her a lot.

"Are you sure Luke? Maybe you should just come in with me again?" she exclaims insecurely holding her hand out to him as a gesture to confirm her offer.

All of a sudden a flash of lightning lights up the sky and illuminates the brunette for a second. Lucas steals a quick glance at her face and shivers when he sees her considerate and scared expression. It pains him that maybe he could scare her and it adds up to his already haunting feeling of guilt and resentment towards himself.

He just lowers his head and shrugs.

"No thank you. I'm fine pretty girl. Don't worry" he responds quietly. But the moment these words rolled off his tongue and slipped out of his mouth and his brain had enough time to process what he just said his whole body tenses up. Quickly he walks back to his car and opens the door.

Brooke just stands there visibly stunned by his last words and bites her bottom lip.

"Okay" Brooke mumbles to herself when Lucas starts the engine.

As another clap of thunder breaks the silence she turns around on her heels and walks away.

Lucas watches her enter the gymnasium and the moment the door closes behind her he slams his fist repeatedly into the dashboard.

"Damn it. What the fuck is wrong with me?"

"And so I act like I'm 21,
Wide eyed and drifting unto sun,
Pay back is here my legs are numb,
I'm back, it's square one feeling dumb."

Brooke enters the hotel room a little bit past midnight holding her stilettos in her hands to not cause any noise. The storm is in full swing now and flashes of lightning brighten up the room every now and then momentarily. Rubbing her neck she throws her coat over the coat rack and tiptoes over to the living room. Without paying attention to her dress getting even more wrinkled Brooke slumps down on the black leather couch. Now that she is resting properly for the first time in over 24 hours the feeling of exhaustion kicks in and gets a hold of her body. Brooke yawns a bit and stretches her legs lazily.

Having to brief her employees on their tasks for the weekend and meeting with Rachel on the side to get updates on their progress with the collection while planning her trip really took a toll on her. Nevertheless Brooke is surprised how she managed it to block out any thoughts about her company or work for the past couple of hours.

Seeing Nathan and Haley again after quite some time made her happy and it quickly felt like she never used to be away for so long. Sure at first they were a little bit distant and bugged her with some playful remarks but Brooke was never shy to get back at them with one of her witty comebacks. And then there was also her adorable godson Jamie who never failed to put a smile on her face. Since last Christmas Brooke had not seen the little boy and was astonished that he was so grown up now. Spending time with Jamie doing simple things like reading a bedtime story together or just watching him play basketball made Brooke pause and actually enjoy her life for once.

As Brooke is fighting hard to keep her eyes open she grabs the remote and switches on the TV. However every channel she puts on just displays some white noise. Annoyed by the breakdown of the cable program she groans and tosses the remote onto the glass table.

Another flash of lightning indicates that the storm is far from over and startles Brooke a bit.

She buries her head in the soft cushion trying to muffle the sounds of the clap of thunder and the pounding raindrops. It isn't like she is really scared by the force of the storm or the darkness of the night but she dreads the silence. In New York nights like these almost never happen. Weekdays she is always the last person leaving the office because she often has her moments of inspiration late at night. On the weekends she is busy attending social events or going out with Rachel for drinks. But now Brooke can't distract herself because she neither has a sketchpad here nor is a certain redhead sitting next to her babbling about some hot guys.

Therefore Brooke decides to do the next best thing and grabs her purse to call Rachel.

"Hey Brookie!" the redhead shrieks into the phone.

Brooke grins and feels immediately relieved when she hears the familiar voice of her friend.

"Hey slut! How are you?" Brooke responds the excitement evident in her voice.

"I'm pretty good fatty. But not really slutting around much." Rachel giggles.

"What? You are not taking your chances and seducing any eligible bachelors while I'm not around?" Brooke remarks playfully.

"No missy. Don't get me started on this. You are all out on your own in Tree Hill. I'm stuck here with the responsibility for your precious company." Rachel exclaims snidely.

"Come on Rach, it can't be that bad? I bet Victoria is "helping" you a lot like she always does. Plus, I'm not here for the fun of it, remember?" Brooke answers sarcastically.

Rachel stays silent for a split second and clears her throat.

"Victoria wasn't here all weekend… but that isn't really important. How did the funeral go?" she says quietly.

Brooke fidgets with the hem of her dress and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Well it was pretty low-key. Sure there were all of the people from the school and many former basketball players but everything was really peaceful and serene. And the reception at the gymnasium was just beautiful. We really missed you there." she responds gently with a raspy voice.

"That's good…that's really good. Any chance that Mouth was maybe there? the redhead rambles on.

Brooke chuckles lightly and kinks her eyebrow.

"No honey. He wasn't there. Nate told me that he had to do the coverage for the UNC game tonight." Brooke says trying to stifle her laughter.

"Oh okay just mock me you slut. But was possibly your sissy virgin boy there?" Rachel retaliates quizzically.

Brooke shifts from one side of the couch to the other and swallows hard.

For the last hour or two she successfully avoided to think about the blonde boy with the piercing blue eyes. But now Rachel's innocent remark makes her heart twitch frantically.

Brooke slowly rises up and starts to walk towards the bathroom.

As she gets to it and her bare feet touch the cold white marmoreal tiles she flinches. To not become unbalanced she props up one arm on the sink.

"Brooke. Are you still there?" Rachel asks solicitously.

"Yeah…I'm still with you" the brunette whispers almost inaudible.

"So he was there, am I right?" Rachel repeats her questions with a soft voice.

Brooke withstands the chilly shivers rushing through her entire body and sits down on the cold floor. After a second or two she gets used to the unpleasant feeling and numbs herself to it.

"Yeah Rach…he was kind of there." she mumbles quietly.

"Kind of?" Rachel repeats the surprise evident in her voice.

A lump forms in Brooke's throat and she heavily breathes in and out to regain her composure.

"He changed so much. He ain't the Lucas I know from our highschool days. You know how I told you that he looked confused and restless when I saw him in L.A. Now he seems to be in an even worse state of mind. His eyes were so dark and lifeless….and he really scared me when I tried to talk to him. Not scared me like I was afraid of him doing any harm to me but scared because he seemed so desperate and angry." Brooke finally opens up feeling very agitated.

Rachel clears her throat noisily and then stays silent for some time.

"But he didn't do anything to you, right?" she asks amazed by her friend's sudden outburst.

"No… not at all. Quite contrary he even tried to explain himself to me. But I cut him off immediately." Brooke says wearily.

"Why Brooke?" the redhead interrupts her.

"I honestly don't know. Do you remember how I felt the night when I moved out of mine and Peyton's apartment to New York? These weird feelings washed all over me again and I couldn't take it listening to him." Brooke stutters, her bottom lip trembling.

"Yeah I remember it very well. I'm still glad you called me that night." Rachel speaks under her breath tearily.

Brooke nods silently in agreement and lowers her head.

"Me too. Thanks for everything Rach." she responds before losing her voice.

"Anytime Brooke!" the redhead mumbles reassuringly.

---------

Brooke disconnects the call and puts down the cell phone next to the sink. Slowly she gets up and switches on the warm water. It steadily fills up the bathtub while the petite brunette peels off the straps of her black dress. With one quick motion the silky fabric slips down her cream colored body and leaves her standing in front of the tub in nothing more than her lingerie. Brooke turns off the tap and mechanically gets rid of her remaining clothes. The moment she dips her feet into the hot water a rush of warmth spreads all over her body and revitalizes her senses. Brooke dives into the water gracefully and rests her head against the edge of the tub. For some time she silently listens to the pounding raindrops and the clap of thunder. Dozily she closes her eyes and enjoys the warm water gently caressing her body.

"I'm fine pretty girl. Don't worry"

Suddenly the words of a certain blonde boy creep into her mind and trigger a memory from a similar night like this years ago.

"The only thing I'm scared of is the secret that you keep,
I know where you are, I dunno where you are.
Don't make the other wonder the others might sting,
Tell me what you're thinkin, do not let me twist.
Just look at the size of you."

Los Angeles, March 2009

She enters the apartment with her spare key and is surprised to see that the lights are already turned out and only the moonlight shines through the curtains.It is a bit past 10 pm but not a sound besides the rumbling of the air condition breaks the silence occasionally.

Brooke is pretty relieved about this and lets out an inaudible sigh. She doesn't want to attract any attention and only is back here to retrieve her sketchpad she forgot to pack in this morning. Slowly the brunette feels her way along the walls towards the living room. Her eyes are not yet accustomed to the darkness and she is trying hard not to knock off any things. As she approaches the living room her gaze drifts off to the big suitcases lying on the floor next to the couch.

Brooke jerks to a stop and wants to say something but chokes it down. She moves forward to the coffee table and sifts through the several magazines scattered all over it. As she finally finds her sketchpad Brooke quickly picks it up and tiptoes back to the entrance. On her way out she sneaks a peek into the bedroom and sees her friend with the blonde locks curled up to a man breathing in slow and even waves. Her whole body tenses up at once and her heart skips a beat. For a moment her eyes are magically glued to the sleeping figures but she hastily snaps out of it. Desperately Brooke tries to breathe in and out but only lets out some stifled dry heaves. The thoughts in her head start spinning madly and she bumps accidentally into the coat rack. Startled by the sound she quickly walks out of the apartment and closes the door behind her.

For a second she pauses and eavesdrops. As she doesn't hear any sound Brooke slowly walks down the stairway. The moment she reaches the last step the tears start to form in the corner of her eyes and she slumps down on the ground.

"I see you in my sheets, I see you in my sleep,
I see you with something funny I hear you I almost weep,
I see you from my steps you're walking up my street,
But just look at the size of you."

Author's note:

B.P. Davis – No…Brooke is definitely not engaged or married at all.

Othfan326 – Lucas and smoking somehow fits I think…but later on somebody will notice it for sure. Thanks for your review and I'm glad you like the story. More BL to come.

Dancefever0234 – Thanks for your appreciative words. I'm working hard to entertain you guys.

Whitney – Yeah BL will definitely act a bit awkward for some time. Hope this chapter gives you a little hint why. Luke needs help but also has to deal with his problems on his own. Peyton will definitely be back…but not for a while.

Chey – Hope you survived the storm and power is back. Brooke has issues and Lucas too…so they really need time to sort things out. You know time heals all wounds….

P.S. Like your fics…sorry for not reviewing until now 

Lynn – Baby….can't tell you enough how much you inspire and help me. To be honest I kind of had a tough time writing this chapter…but your kind words reading your last update made my lazy ass get up and write. Thanks again hun…you are the best and I'm glad to know you. Love you very much my beautiful brunette…