(A storm rages on outside. Frodo stares out the window)
Frodo: Rain, rain, go away, come again another day…
Legolas: If this keeps up, we might have a flood.
Aragorn: Considering what has happened to us these past few weeks, I think a flood would be considered quite normal.
Boromir: Yeah, like that mad sister of yours, Legolas.
Legolas: I TOLD you all! I don't have a sister!
Boromir: I wouldn't be surprised if she was your sister. After all, you're both Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus…
Legolas: (gasps) I am NOT a Gary-Stu!
Pippin: You are handsome, an awesome archer, a brave companion of the Fellowship, and you're the freaking prince of Mirkwood. You can't get any more Gary-Stuish than that!
Legolas: (sobs) I am not!
Merry: Well, then again, he is a sissy, so I guess not…
Legolas: I am NOT a sissy! (sobs)
Galadriel: Yeah, yeah. Whatever.
(suddenly, thunder and lightning crackles and all light goes off)
Arwen: Great, we have a power failure!
Eowyn: EVERYTHING bad happens to us!
Galadriel: Ah! Ah! I can't see!
Legolas: NONE of us can!
(lightning flashes)
Aragorn: Man! I only could see for half a second!
Boromir: I'll go find my laptop…
Eowyn: Why would you need a laptop?
Boromir: Easy! You use the little lights that the laptop shines for light!
Eowyn: That IS smart…but you'll need to PLUG IT IN TOO!
Boromir: …oh yeah…
Arwen: OUCH! Nana, you stepped on my foot!
Galadriel: I'm SORRY, Arwen, but it's not like I can really see where I'm going!
Aragorn: Great! WHAT ELSE CAN GO WRONG?!
Legolas: NOOO, YOU SAID THE UNLUCKY SENTENCE!!!
Faramir: (pokes head out of basement door) Eh…guys? Our basement is flooding.
Arwen: ARAGORN! (karate-chops his head) THIS IS ALLYOUR FAULT!
Aragorn: MY FAULT??? HOW IS THIS MY FAULT??
Arwen: WELL, you said the sentence: "What else can go wrong?"
Legolas: (gasps) Arwen! You just said it too!
Arwen: What??
Aragorn: Haha, I'm not the only one.
Faramir: The water! THE WATER IS RISING TO GROUND LEVEL!
Frodo: This is YOUR fault now, Arwen.
Arwen: My fault?? How is this my fault??
Frodo: You said the sentence: "What else can—"
Pippin: NOOOO, DON'T SAY IT! (slaps frodo's mouth)
Frodo: OW!
Arwen: We need to get on higher grounds! The water is already up to my shins!
Merry: Lucky for you to say. The water's already up to our thighs!
Galadriel: Retreat! RETREAT! OW! (bumps into wall)
Faramir: dangit, we can't see anything!
Boromir: Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know!
Aragorn: What??
Boromir: While we were shopping for guillotines in Wal-Mart, I also bought a sword.
Legolas: …yeah, so?
Boromir: It's a SPECIAL sword! It's called Ache, and it glows bright pink when Mary-Sues are around!
Frodo: Kinda reminds me of Sting…
Faramir: (grimaces) Bright…pink…?
Boromir: Yup! (Unsheathes sword. The sword rattles and started to grow bright pink)
Legolas: Why is it glowing? There's no Mary-Sues around here—
Aragorn: You ARE a Mary-Sue!
Legolas: W-well…you're one too! And Arwen! And Eowyn!
Arwen: Hey!
Eowyn: Hey!
Arwen: I have never been more insulted in my life…
Frodo: (struggles to stay afloat) While you oldies gibber, can you PLEASE help us? The water rose up to our CHINS while you guys were quarreling!
Boromir: Oh yeah! TO THE UPPER LEVEL, MEN!
Eowyn: A-HEM!
Boromir: (sighs) AND ladies.
Pippin: Help uuuuuuuussssssss! (sinks)
Legolas: Fool of a Took! (yanks out) Come on! We need to go!
Merry: This would be a good time to have a Huckleberry Ferry with us!
Oh dear, oh dear, it seems that our favorite LoTR characters our having quite the time of their lives these days.
What will happen to these galiant warriors?