(The water is slowly rising to 1/3 of the stairs. All of the LoTR cast are piled up on the cramped second level)
Legolas: We're gonna die…
Aragorn: Don't be pessimistic! We'll be all right!
Legolas: Oh yeah? And how's that?
Aragorn: …I have no idea.
Arwen: The second level is too small for all ten of us! We're too cramped! We need more space! I'm CLAUSTROPHOBIC!
Frodo: (squished between Faramir and Boromir) At least YOU'RE not stuck between two fatsos!
Boromir: I'm not fat!
Faramir: Neither am I!
Merry: You guys eat the most.
Boromir: Too true, but we have a slow metabolism. I'm sure we're fine.
Galadriel: Less chatting, more thinking! The water is rising higher and higher! We'll have to get up to the roof at this rate, and we all can't fit there!
Legolas: WAIT! MY STRAWBERRY SHAMPOO IS STILL DOWN THERE! I HAVE TO SAVE IT! (Attempts to dive into water)
Eowyn: Oh no you don't! (grabs Legolas's hair)
Legolas: Ow! NOOOOOO!
Arwen: You could just let him drown, you know.
Eowyn: Too late.
Frodo: WAIT! IS RINGIE DOWN THERE?
Pippin: Is what down there?
Frodo: Ringie!
Pippin: Oh…uh…
Frodo: I got to get Ringie!
Aragorn: Don't even think about it.
Boromir: Hurry! We have to get to the roof!
Aragorn: HOW DO WE DO THAT??
Frodo: You've faced wars, invasions, and arguments where you needed to plan miraculous strategies, and yet you still don't know how to get to the roof??
Aragorn: Okay, okay! We'll have to break a hole on the roof and climb out that way!
Legolas: How do we break a hole?
Aragorn: Easy. (turns to Frodo) Frodo! Ringie is up on the roof! Go get it!
Frodo: RINGIE??! I'M COMING, RINGIE! (breaks a hole on roof and climbs out)
Arwen: That was freakishly easy.
Legolas: Shut up! We need to get up on the roof!
(Everyone clambers onto the slippery roof tiles. Rain pours onto the little forest and thunder crackles)
Eowyn: …maybe going on a higher level WASN'T a good idea after all.
Galadriel: Argh! Predictions were right! We all can't fit on here!
Legolas: Then it's time we do Survivor. Who votes that Boromir and Aragorn should be left behind?
(Legolas, Frodo, Pippin, Merry, Eowyn, and Galadriel raise their hands)
Legolas: All right then, who opposes?
(Aragorn, Boromir, and Arwen raise their hands)
Legolas: Aragorn and Boromir, please step off the roof. You are disqualified from this round.
Boromir: WHAT ROUND??
Aragorn: That isn't fair! What if we drown?
Pippin: You guys are warriors, I'm sure you can swim.
Boromir: But…but…
Aragorn: Don't we at least get those Númenor inflatable rafts?
Galadriel: Sorry, but no. SOMEONE (glares at Pippin) thought that it was an abnormally giant PINCUSHION.
Pippin: It was soft! And cushy! It was normal for me to believe so!
Aragorn: (grumbles) Normal for you, yeah.
Legolas: Hurry up and get off before the roof collapses. Then what'll we do?
Boromir: Hopefully, you'll all drown. That's what you deserve.
(Legolas shoves Boromir off the roof through the hole)
Boromir: Aieeeee!
Aragorn: (sighs) If it is for a good cause…(dramatically climbs down hole)
Merry: Bon voyage.
Legolas: Finally! Some stretching room!
Poor poor Boromir and Aragorn. They now have to face the wrath of water. I do hope they know how to swim.
Oh yes, I don't own LoTR. It's quite obvious, I think.