Oh, Edward!

A/N : Yo. Yeah, I feel gangster right now. Don't worry, It won't affect my chapter. Too much. Anyway, here is a new chapter that was inspired by elise-marieCULLEN so I thank her for almost everything. By the way, as I write this, I'm not even done my 4th chapter. Teehee. So, here you go:

"Oh, Edward!" I heard my wife call. Her cry was quickly followed by a sob. I rushed to her side, anxious and scared of what state I would find her in.

Sure enough, Bella was crying her eyes out beside the driveway, where Jasper's new 599 GTB Fiorano sat. (A/N: You can find the link for a picture of Jasper's car on my newly updated profile) Bella held an empty ice cream cone out in front of her.

I was about to step towards her when I paused to think. Why would Bella be crying? She's usually so tough – in a good way…I continued to ponder when I came to a horrifying conclusion. Esme had told me that women had their 'wonderful week', they could become emotionally unstable. I grimaced, remembering Bella's desire for pads.

But, because I was her husband, and because I loved her, I cautiously took a step…and nearly fell over!

My foot slid out from under me, and only my more-than-perfect reflexes and balance kept me from falling over. As I straightened, I looked down at the scene of the crime and saw a brown, liquidy substance on the ground. I recognized it as ice cream, which Bella had described as comfort food.

I froze as realization hit me. Bella was crying uncontrollably. Because her 'comfort food', which she was eating for some reason, was ruined. I shuddered, but moved forward and put my eyes around my wife. I squeezed her reassuringly, then held her at arm's length. I took a deep, unnecessary breath.

"Bella, do you need more pads?" I asked.

She shook her head, but continued crying. I was happily surprised to find out that she wasn't in need of them, but suspicious as to while she was still crying.

"What is wrong then?"

She sniffled a bit before answering.

"To tell you the truth, Edward, I'm not exactly sure. I was just sitting out here, bored, when Jasper came out and suggested that I have some ice cream because it always makes me happy. I agreed, and he took me to the store to by ice cream cones, because he didn't have any, I guess you didn't pick any up when you went.

"Anyway, when we got back, he served me some ice cream and brought me back out here because he said Esme would be mad if I spilled on the carpet. I guess it was a good thing he made me come out here, because then my ice cream fell, and I called for you, and Jasper disappeared, and it's all just so tragic and overwhelming!" Her voice cracked right at the end, and I hugged her again, while trying to plan my revenge on Jasper. I had already figured out that he had affected her emotions. But I didn't know why… I'd have to ask him.

"Bella," I said gently, "why don't I serve you some more ice cream, and I'll go talk to Jasper about what he did, okay?" I spoke to her as though she were a child, scared of sparking another round of tears.

But instead of crying, Bella responded by exploding angrily:

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! Jasper has been very nice to me, now don't you go talking about him as though he's done something wrong! It's rude, disrespectful and ungrateful behaviour that I will not allow."

I looked her in the eye, using all my dazzling power.

"The only being I know who is acting like that is Jasper." My plan worked. Bella was dazzled so much that she was shocked out of Jasper's effects for a moment, and she understood what was going on. She winked at me, then started yelling again. But now, I knew she as on my side.

"Edward! How dare you say that! And about your very own brother too! When I fell in love with you I had no idea of your now-obvious intentions! I knew you had no heart, but now I think that it has been replaced with pure veil, or evil disguised as a dead heart, or something!" I listened to Bella rant and scream at the spot where I had stood, and I was immensely proud of her. What an actress! I could only hope that her drama had fooled Jasper…

I found him in his room, roaring with laughter. He rolled on the ground, obviously pleased with himself.

Without hesitation, I walked over, picked him up by the scruff of the neck and lifted him to eye level.

"Hey!" he exclaimed breathlessly. Then he saw who I was and I could have sworn he became even paler.

"Edward? But Bella is yelling…" I carried him over to the window and showed him Bella, who was still yelling.

I opened his window and called down to her.

"It's alright, Bella. I've got him." I flashed her favourite smile, and I saw her eyes go blank. I grinned to myself, then turned back to Jasper.

"Stop affecting her emotions, Jazz." I could feel the energy in the air disappear.

"Good boy. Now, would you mind telling me why you were messing with her feelings?"

"Payback," he replied easily, a ruthless grin on his face.

I grinned evilly right back, and his smile disappeared instantly.

"Now Jasper, your little stunt has earned you a huge punishment. Hopefully, you will get the point, and you won't bother my wife again. I'm going to take a little drive, and I'll let you know what your punishment will be when I get back. And if you are not in this room by the time I get back, I advise you never to come home."

He gulped, but I felt no regret for him. No-one messes with my wife. No-one touches her without my permission. Jasper was going to learn that the hard way.

I dropped him so suddenly that he couldn't react and he hit the ground hard.

Just then, Alice ran into the room.

"Oh, Jasper! I am so sorry for your loss…" she started. Then she saw me.

"Not a word, Alice." I said.

"I'd just like to know why," she replied easily, not the least but troubled.

"He messed with my wife. While I wasn't around. As revenge for something I did to him."

Alice was furious.

"JASPER! HOW DARE YOU TAKE YOUR ANGER OUT ON BELLA! SHE'S HUMAN! SHE CAN'T DEFEND HERSELF! SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU! HOW COULD YOU?" Then, turning away from a very sorry-looking Jasper, Alice spoke to me.

"If you weren't going to do it, I would."

Then she resumed yelling at Jasper, and I left the room, closing the door behind me.

"Rose," I called.

She appeared beside me.

"Edward, what's going on? And how can I help?"

I told her the story, and she interjected in all the right places.

"…and I need you to take care of Bella for a few minutes. I have to go take revenge on Jasper, and I would prefer that she not be with me when I do," I finished.

She nodded.

"I assume you'll tell me what you did later?"

"You can bet on it. And thanks, Rose." She smiled, and I went to find Bella to fill her in. When she understood, I climbed into Jasper's brand new red Ferrari and sped down the road I drove it as fast as I could down empty roads, looking for the perfect spot. Finally, I found it.

I got up as much speed as I could, then crashed the vehicle into the side of the cement bridge. As I expected, it went flying and landed on the riverbank, away from any humans who might be harmed. Having jumped out at the last nanosecond, I stood unscathed on the bridge, replaying the scene in my mind. I was happy Jasper couldn't read minds, because I don't think I would have been able to hide my thoughts.

I ran back home and arrived around 6. I quickly kissed Bella, thanked Rosalie, and told everyone to join Carlisle and Esme, who were watching the news in the living room. I also instructed Jasper not to look outside or go outside.

As we all watched the television intently, the story finally showed up.

"And in recent news, a red 599 GTB Fiorano Ferrari was discovered on a riverbank late this afternoon. Police say that the vehicle seemed to have hit the bridge wall at around 150 miles per hour, the only way that it could have possibly flown so far. No injuries or deaths have been reported so far, but searchers have yet to find the body of the driver. We can only pray that this unfortunate human being is alive, and will be found soon."

By now, everyone except Jasper, Carlisle and Esme were laughing. Carlisle wqas wondering how the police were going to deal with the accident, while Esme refrained from exploding only because of the compassion she felt for her son.

Emmett choked out a few words from between roars of laughter.

"Well…we know…the driver…is dead!" he said, causing us all to laugh even harder. Even Carlisle, deep in thought, let out a small chuckle.

"Unfortunately, he's still haunting us!" snarled Jasper. He threw himself at me, and I nimbly jumped out of the way as I picked up Bella and placed her by Esme.

I raced outside, laughing as Jasper chased me.

"You're dead, Edward!" he roared.

"Yes, Jasper, I most certainly am! And I'm thankful, because if I weren't, that stunt never would have worked!"

A/N: Haha! Jasper deserved that one! Please, go check out his car. It is one of the coolest cars ever!!!!! And thanks to those of you who waited to see it until they were done reading the story! I saw a lot of Favourite Story adds, and I'm happy you guys think that, but please, review! It makes my day! Thank you!!