Oh, Edward!
A/N : So, I was just checking my stats and I noticed that I've gotten over 1200 hits for this story! I just wanted to say thanks to all of you who have taken time to read this, and an even bigger thank you to those who PRESS THE REVIEW BUTTON!! I'm serious! I have gotten almost 1300 hits on this story, and only about 40 reviews! Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful to all who review my story, but if half the people who read this story reviewed, I'd be ecstatic! I honestly don't even care if you're dissing me or anything! Whoops! This is getting a bit long, I'll continue at the bottom. Here's chapter 6!
"Oh, Edward!" called Bella persuasively. I came to stand beside her in the kitchen.
"What is it, love?" I asked.
"Edward, will you be my…" her voice trailed off as we made eye contact. I chuckled, remembering the effect I had on her. I slipped behind her and covered her eyes with my hand. I heard her sigh, and I laughed quietly again.
"Yes, I will be your…" I purposely didn't finish my sentence.
I felt her cheeks heat up as she remembered.
"Sorry," she mumbled, "but I wanted you to be my cooking buddy!"
I took my hands away from her eyes and turned her around so that she could see my inquiring look. Catching on, she explained :
"A cooking buddy helps the chef – moi – get ingredients ready, the kitchen clean, the instruments set out, etc. You basically..help me! If you're super good, I might even let you cook a bit!" she teased, tapping her finger on my nose.
"OOOOOH! I WANNA BE A COOKING BUDDY!" my over-grown toddler brother practically bounced into the room and started jumping up and down in anticipation.
Bella decided to have some fun with him.
"Well, let's see, Emmett. What are your qualifications? Do you have a resumé or a facebook page I can check?"
Emmett sat down on a chair, his face falling slightly at the word 'qualifications'. Reading his thoughts, I found out that it was because he wasn't completely sure of what the word meant.
"Well," he started, confident, "I have traveled to many places, so I have had the pleasure of seeing many different types of cuisine. I partly own the machines in this kitchen, so I could probably figure out how to repair them when you break them."
"Hey!" exclaimed my wife.
"Sorry, boss," mumbled Emmett. Wow. He may be incredibly dumb sometimes, but it seemed as though Emmett might actually ace his 'interview'.
"And," he continued, "I have a good eye for spotting the best-tasting grizzlies and I'm sure that I can provide the freshest meat in the country!" He smiled proudly.
Bella looked green.
"Emmett!" I yelled.
"What?" he asked with falsely-innocent eyes.
Just then, Rosalie sauntered in.
"Is my husband annoying you? I'm really sorry about any inconvenience he may have caused." She sounded as though she had recited the words many times before. Then she grinned. "I'll have to get a shorter leash."
It was Emmett's turn to exclaim indignantly before catching his wife's eye. He quieted immediately.
Bella, meanwhile, had resumed her usual paleness and addressed Emmett.
"Emmett, so long as you refrain from speaking of your eating habits, you may be a cooking buddy under the order of Chef Bella." She turned to Rose. "Feel free to help or observe."
Rosalie only nodded as Jasper walked casually into the kitchen.
"Hey, guys. What's going on? I could feel Emmett's excitement and pride from upstairs."
"I'm not that excited," protested Emmett as he positively glowed. He had a huge smile on his face, which didn't help his attempt at indifference.
Jasper rolled his eyes.
"Riiiiiiiiiiiight. If you were human, you would have peed your pants by now," he challenged.
Because Emmett looked ready to say something utterly stupid that might offend our disgust Bella, I quickly intervened.
"Now, guys, a kitchen is not the place to talk about these things. And it's even less appropriate because you are in front of two lovely ladies."
"Make that three!" chanted Alice as she skipped into the room, looking for all the world as though she were about to pull pixie dust out of her shopping bag and sprinkle it on us.
"Alice!" cried Bella. "You're here!"
"Well of course I'm here, darling! I wouldn't miss this for a chance at shopping in New York City!" Noticing our skeptical looks, she retorted defensively, "I've already been, duh."
Bella brightened, probably out of relief that Alice wouldn't drag her to NYC. She covered it up nicely, though.
"Were you just recently in New York?" she asked.
"No," replied Alice, confused. "Why would you think so?"
Bella pointed to Alice's gigantic bag.
"Because your bag looks like it's going to explode with all the stuff you bought."
Alice smiled a thousand-watt smile, obviously pleased.
"You noticed!"
"Well, obviously. I mean, that thing is bigger than your Porsche's trunk."
Alice's eyebrows furrowed as she remembered stuffing the bag into the backseat.
Alice's eyebrows furrowed as she remembered stuffing the bag into the backseat.
"Yes, that was quite a hassle, wasn't it? But anyway, it's time for my smart answer to your comment." She cleared her throat. "You noticed the bag, but I guess you haven't seen where it's from!" She held the ag out proudly in front of her.
Bella stared at the bag in horror as Rosalie read the name out loud.
"'Kitchen Lingerie'? Alice, what did you get?" she asked, ripping the bag out of Alice's grasp. Soon, white material was flying through the air. A piece that landed on my head annoyed me, and I yanked it off angrily, inspecting it.
It seemed to be some kind of apron, but with a lot more straps and detachable parts. It was made of very thin material, and didn't look as though it would fit me at all.
I heard Rosalie snickering and looked up.
"Checking out what your wife will be wearing?" she mocked.
Bella, who had been staring at the article the whole time, suddenly took the thing from my hands and searched through a few drawers. She seemed to find what she was looking for, because she left the room hiding something under the material. She was gone for a couple of minutes, then reappeared wearing it. Or…a warped version of what it used to be.
She had cut off all the unnecessary straps, or tied them around her to make a decent-looking apron. I looked on with pride. God, I loved my wife. She could certainly be stubborn when she wanted. As long as she was comfortable…
Alice screeched.
"Bella! What have you done to my kitchen lingerie! That was brand new! It's all the rage in Europe!"
"Which is why I live in America, Alice. Did you honestly think I would wear that?" She challenged my sister with her eyes, and Alice, suprisingly, admitted defeat by turning to Rose.
"You'll wear it, won't you Rose?" she asked pleadingly.
"Not in front of all of you! Emmett would burn down the house when he saw me."
"Naw, you'd set it on fire 'cuz you're so hot," replied Emmett. Disgusting.
Bella saved the rest of us from their version of sweet-talk by clapping her hands loudly.
"Now, cooking buddies! Calm down and help me out here! We will never get any cooking done if you goof around!"
We all did as she said, quieting down immediately.
"Technically, I outrank you, but for now," said Jasper, raising his hand to his forehead in a mock salute,"what are your orders?"
Bella grinned.
"I'm glad someone is catching on! Right, let's get down to business. First off, I'm going to need some knives, the oven pre-heated to 250 fahrenheit, and these ingredients," she finished, showing us a list of food products.
Before anyone could do as they were told, I held up a restraining hand.
"Wait. I have a few conditions. First of all, Bella is not allowed to handle the knives or the oven. Oh, or the stove," I added as an after thought.
Bella put on her stubborn face and looked up at me.
"Hey! I used to cook alone all the time before you came along. Compromise : you get to supervise." She gazed at me with determination.
I sighed, knowing what I had to do. I stepped towards her, ready to dazzle her. To my surprise, she closed her eyes and folded her arms across her chest.
"No, Edward. I've cooked before. I don't need our protection in the kitchen." She opened her eyes to glare at me for a second, then closed them quickly. I turned to Jasper, who was also avoiding my gaze.
"Jazz!" I pleaded. "This is for Bella's safety!" He didn't look at me when he answered.
"She's right, Edward. She has the power to do this alone."
"Thank you, Jasper," replied Bella, her eyes still closed.
I, too, shut my eyelids for a second, thinking. I would be here. And so would my 'siblings'. I guess she would be okay…
"Fine," I said, more sighing than speaking. Bella's eyes flew open immediately and she threw her arms around my neck.
"Oh, thank you, Edward! I knew you'd understand!"
"Stubborn little girl," I muttered, though made sure she heard me.
"Stubborn little cook," she corrected with a grin. "Now, what had I asked you to do?"
We all rushed around the kitchen, preparing and fetching ingredients. When we realized that we had only dark chocolate chips, Emmett made a quick visit to the grocery store. Being Emmett, he came back with about 10 bags of chocolate chips.
"There were just so many kinds! It was hard to choose."
Bella beamed at him.
"That's just fine, Emmett. More cookies for me!" she added, and started to laugh evilly.
Cookies it was, then.
We mixed all the ingredients, while Bella basically sat and ate cookie dough while ordering us around. Sometimes she would come over and show us how to stir something or tell us we were holding a utensil wrong. After Emmett's fifth scolding, something inside him exploded.
"Oh, so you want me to stir the batter like this!" he yelled, stirring with vampire strength. Needless to say, neither the bowl nor the spoon he was using were Emmett- or vampire-proof. The bowl cracked into a few pieces, the counter was dented, and the spoon shattered. Batter went flying everywhere, covering all of us except for Rosalie, who managed to hide her face and most of her outfit behind a baking sheet. As she slowly unfolded from the ground, she glared at Emmett.
"You're not going to hurt me, are you, Rose?" asked her husband nervously.
After inspecting herself thoroughly, she responded.
"If I had gotten any batter on me, you would have been done for," she said menacingly.
Just then, a giant blob of the stuff fell and landed right on the top of her head. Her eyes went pitch black as she opened her mouth slowly.
I dove and pulled Bella to the ground, covering her ears in a weak attempt to shield her from what was surely to come.
And, sure enough, the screaming began. It would have been bloodcurdling, had I possessed any blood. I was sure Bella was in pain from the way she moaned. I saw her arm reach out and grab part of the batter-covered spoon. Then, something amazing and terrifying happened.
Bella threw the spoon. At Rosalie. And it hit her. In the stomach. On her new shirt.
But at least it stopped the screaming, which seemed to be the point.
Rosalie just stared at Bella for a moment with a look of evil in her eyes. And then, she spoke.
"Did you just throw that dirty thing at me?" she asked. Her voice was low and dangerous.
"Yes, I did. It was in self defence," Bella answered matter-of-factly. Then she darkened. "God, Rose! That was horrible, painful, hellish, glass-breaking, evil and dangerous! Why would you do that? Emmett's the one who did this! Why torture us? You have more fun hurting him anyway," she added.
Rosalie looked outraged, and actually considered screaming again. Then her eyes softened a bit, and she spoke to Bella apologetically.
"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry. You're right, I didn't even think. I'll deal with you alone," she added, turning to Emmett and pointing her finger at him. Then she looked back at Bella and an evil look crossed her face.
"However, you did throw something at me, Bella, and that can't go unpunished," she said coyly. Then she picked up a blob of batter and threw it at Bella so fast that I didn't have time to react, and I was ashamed. But the batter hit Bella lightly on the cheek, and she laughed and yelled:
"BATTER FIGHT!" And with that, she picked up a glob of the stuff and threw it at Emmett.
"Hey!" he exclaimed, and threw some at her. But she ducked, and it hit Jasper. In a few moments, the kitchen was covered in cookie batter.
That was when Esme came in.
We all stopped as though under a spell. I suspected Jasper, but didn't read his mind. Instead, I concentrated on getting into Esme's. But as soon as tried, I withdrew, shaken and confused.
Esme's emotions were so jumbled and messed up that I couldn't try to read them without getting dizzy almost immediately. It took me a few moments to rearrange my thoughts, and apparently it was the same for Esme.
But she must have eventually formed coherent thoughts, because she spoke…more or less.
"What…happened?"
As though we were children, we all mumbled excuses and pleaded her not to punish us – though only Bella pleaded.
"Just…clean it up…please," she said quietly before leaving the room.
We all looked at each other in silence for a while, until I felt Bella shaking in my arms. I looked down, expecting to see her crying.
Instead, she was actually laughing!
Noticing that I was staring at her in disbelief, she choked out a few words.
"That…was the…best…food fight…I've…ever…had!" she said before dissolving into fits if laughter once more. Her contagious laughter brought us all to dry tears, and we all ended up laughing on the ground.
As I looked at my batter-covered wife laughing hysterically even though she had to clean up this huge mess, I smiled and looked at her lovingly. This was my wife. This was my love. Forever.
A/N: Yay! I finished my chappie! Wow, it was long, wasn't it? I thought so! Hope it was worth it!