"One Step Forward, Two Steps Back"
Haley hastily took off her heels, picked up the bottom of her strapless, solid, baby-blue, sequined evening gown and took off down the beach after the man in the black tuxedo whom she had hopelessly fallen in love with.
At the sound of her feet against the soft sand, he halted his quick steps and shoved his hands in his pockets trying to keep his emotions in check as the object of his current heartache steadily approached him. Out of breath she finally reached him, stopping directly in front him.
"Please…just…listen." she whispered as she stopped right in front of him.
"What's there to say? You made it clear to the whole damn room that I was nothing but a joke, that you and I were just a damn game." He kicked the sand below, trying to make sure that she couldn't see how much those words stung. Finally looking up into her eyes, he tried to turn, but Haley grabbed his right hand intertwining their fingers.
"I love you." She brought their joined hands to her lips and kissed his hand. Giving him a reassuring smile she continued. "If you would have stayed and listened, you would have heard me also say that in spite of how we came together, I fell in love with you anyway."
Finally he let his eyes meet hers and grinned. "Took you long enough to realize."
"Just shut up and kiss me."
Pulling her into his arms, he bent down stopping just a breath away from her lips. "Yes, ma'am," he laughed before capturing her lips in a searing kiss.
"CUT!" The director's voice shouted from the sidelines.
The two quickly broke apart laughing. The man licked his lips and grinned. "Yum, you're trying a new flavor James."
"Aw, Mr. Lucas you noticed," Haley cooed as she grinned at her co-star.
Laughing, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "So tell ol' Josh here what's wrong?"
Sighing Haley leaned into him as they walked towards her trailer. She and Josh Lucas had been in two movies together in the past, but back then they were still pretty unknown and just played the friends of the it couple…this time they were the it couple. They had also become friends off-camera, keeping in frequent contact, and always finding a bit of home in each other's presence.
The thing about Josh though, was that even with his rise to fame, he was still the good looking southern boy she'd met four years ago. The same boy who opened doors for her, pulled out her chair, and always said please and thank you. He was from Arkansas and was the only other actor whose southern charm was trade marked as much as her own.
Being his usual charming self, he held the trailer door open for her and helped her up the stairs to make sure she didn't trip on her gown. Once inside, they both took a second to let the cool air surround them. September in California was anything but pleasant, but both being from the South made them a little more accustomed to the heat.
"Will you help me?" She pulled her hair up and turned her back to him indicating she wanted him to unzip her.
"My pleasure." He quipped as he unzipped her and exposed her bare back.
Holding the dress to her breasts she walked behind an oriental silk-screen to change.
"Damn, just break a man's heart why don't ya." He held his hand to his heart and dropped dramatically on the couch.
Peering around the screen she rolled her eyes at him. "Oh please…you'll be seeing plenty during that love scene we have to share next week."
"True. So now open up James. I want to know what's going on in that pretty little head of yours."
"It's Nathan." She revealed as she pulled on some super skinny cropped jeans.
Chuckling, Josh grabbed a nearby water bottle. "Ah, the husband-slash-basketball-god."
"That's him," Haley grumbled as she slipped on a dark gray tank and walked back out—plopping in a purple suede armchair across from Josh.
Taking a sip of water, he eyed her. "You know I always saw you marrying some sensitive, artsy guy, not a big ego-maniac jock."
Running her hands through her wavy hair she pouted. "I didn't expect to marry him and now I'm stuck."
"Aw, poor Miss Haley James decided to be wild for one night in her life and wrangled herself a husband."
"Oh shut up!" She laughed, throwing a pillow his way.
"So, what's the problem. Bad in bed?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at her.
"Ew, I'm not telling you that stuff. He just…just…annoys me," she blew out frustrated.
"You know Hales, I don't think I've ever seen a man get under your skin like this one does."
"Again, shut up." This time she gave him a pointed look, one that told him that the conversation was over.
Sitting up, Josh noticed an opened fed-ex box on the coffee table. Looking at the packaging label, his eyes lit up. "Damn Hales, you've been holding out on me. Mama James sent you a box that I know contains a pecan pie, as always, and you didn't tell me? The jock must really be screwing with your brain to make you forget little ol' me." He joked as he began to dig into the box and immediately spotted the pie at the bottom.
"Get out of there!" Haley laughed as she tried to snatch the box, but failed as Josh skirted out of her way..
Before he could get to the pie, he had to move a heavy object that he guessed was a picture frame. Turning it over, he got a peak and burst out laughing. "Oh, my, you have been holding out on me," he teased as he raised the frame out of her reach.
"Damnit Josh." She tried to jump and grab it, but she was short and he was way too tall.
Playfully pushing Haley on the couch, he jumped to sit in her lap, as to keep her in place. "Now tell me what I'm looking at here Hales. It seems to me you are looking awfully comfy with that 'annoying' husband of yours."
She attempting to push him off her, but he wasn't budging till she explained the photo. In her head she was cursing her mother and Josh's obsession for her pecan pies that got her into this situation. The picture in question was of the exact moment she had kissed Nathan at their party as she sat in his lap.
Ever since that kiss she had tried to deny it ever happened, but thanks to her mother's photographer it was now going to be on display at every relative's house; not to mention she was sure her mother sent an even bigger one to her own home already. She just prayed Nathan didn't get it before she had time to go home and intercept.
Not that he would care since he'd been avoiding her at all costs lately. It had been a week since they returned and he had barely uttered a word to her, let alone a smart-ass remark. She never thought she would long for the days when he would make vulgar comments left and right around her—at least she could deal with that Nathan—this silent Nathan unnerved her.
"Listen we were just putting on a show." She downplayed it.
Josh handed her the picture and moved to the sit beside her on the couch. Leaning over, he took the pie out of the box, grabbed a fork and dug right in.
"James, you are one hell of an actress, but not even you are this good." He looked towards the photo, now in her hands, while shoving a forkful of pie into his mouth.
Grabbing her script, she chose to ignore him but she couldn't ignore the tiny little voice in her head that told her Josh wasn't so off the mark.
…
"Nothing but net!" Lucas shouted as he watched his ball swish through the netting of the hoop creating the magical sound he and Nathan strived for each day since they first learned how to dribble a basketball.
Nathan groaned and walked over to grab a nearby Gatorade bottle.
Following his brother's actions, Lucas grabbed his own bottle before sitting on the bleachers of his personal court. "Take a load off bro." Lucas patted the metal seat next to him.
Sitting one stand below his brother, Nathan focused on the court and wiped some sweat from his brow.
"Nate, you know I love kicking your ass, but lately you're making it way too easy for me. You wanna talk to me about what's going on or you just going to sit there with a permanent scowl on your face."
Nathan turned around briefly and shot his brother a glare. "I'm not the one who was dubbed Broody in high school man."
"Point taken, but this week you're giving me a run for my money." Lucas pointed out as he watched his brother unconsciously play with his wedding band—a habit that was becoming more and more frequent.
"It's Haley." Nathan finally said after a minute of silence and Lucas had to bite his lip from telling his brother 'no shit'.
"It's just ever since we got back from Texas she's been odd or maybe I've been odd…hell I don't know what's going on." He balled up his towel and heaved it to the other side of the court in frustration.
Twirling the basketball on his fingertip Lucas chuckled. "Damn, she is really under your skin man."
Nathan just scoffed and checked his cell phone in his pocket. "Shit it's past five, are you still meeting us at that charity dinner thing?"
"Yeah, and please don't be an ass. I'm actually bringing someone tonight and I don't need you scaring her off."
"Who is this chick? You've been keeping her pretty quiet."
Shrugging, Lucas stood to walk his brother towards his SUV. "You'll meet her tonight and unlike you I don't enjoy my exploits being plastered all over the paper, so if that's means I've been being quiet then good for me." He slapped his brother on the back.
Rolling his eyes, Nathan climbed into his car. "See you tonight."
…
Standing in front of her bed in nothing but a strapless white bra and matching second-skin, bikini panties Haley glanced at the clock and blew out a frustrated breath. She only had about ten more minutes. Looking in the mirror she gave herself a small smile…at least from the neck up she looked ready. Her hair had been straightened and pulled into a high sleek ponytail with a few strategically placed strands framing her face and her make-up had been applied to perfection to create a natural yet dramatic glow. She was completely ready except for one thing…her dress.
Three dresses were laid out before her and she had no clue which to choose. They were all equally stunning, but she just had no desire to slip into a single one. All she felt like doing was soaking in a long hot bath and falling asleep with a good book. Yep that was her; Haley James the huge star, who'd rather do anything but act like one most days.
Nathan was adjusting his red Armani dress shirt as he made her way to her room. He raised his hand to knock, but noticed the door was slightly ajar, so instead he quietly pushed it open.
There she was, sitting on her chaise lounge staring at a blank wall. Cautiously, he got closer to her and when he lightly touched her shoulder her eyes snapped to him, but she didn't look angry—just surprised.
"Hey, you alright Haley?" He asked softly.
"Do you ever get sick of it all Nathan?"
He looked at her in confusion before he finally understood what she was asking.
"Sometimes." He finally answered honestly as he sat down beside her.
"Everyone seems to dream for stardom, but sometimes they don't know how lucky they are to be normal." Haley mused out loud, and a part of Nathan hoped she was speaking to him and not just herself.
"We don't have to go tonight." He suggested, when he suddenly found himself wanting to sit in this room alone with her for the entire evening, rather than spend a second at some party.
Just as Haley was about to speak, her cell went off. Reaching on top of the bed she grabbed her phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey Love, its Brooke. I wanted to let you know that I told the press you guys would be here within the next half hour…so get that slow butt of yours in gear." The brunette cheerily instructed from the other end of the line.
"Sure Tigger, I'm on my way." She promised—knowing a lot of people were counting on her tonight and probably Nathan too.
She glanced at him and he stood holding his hand down to her. Taking it she smiled, "Want to tell which of these I should where?"
Haley watched as he smirked and fingered each of the equally form-fitting cocktail dresses before finally picking up a champagne Dolce and Gabbana dress that had gathered halter straps that crisscrossed beautifully in the front and exposed a lot of her back.
"Nice choice, but I can't wear a bra with this so turn around mister." She grinned and did a turning motion with her finger.
Nathan put a hand to his heart and feigned shocked. "I'm thoroughly offended. Here you have been standing in front of me for several minutes in barely anything and I didn't make a single move and still I get this treatment."
Haley forcibly turned him around while laughing. "What I have on now is the same coverage as if I was on a beach and I'm not about to let you leer at me on the nude version."
"You know Hales, I can close my eyes and picture you naked anytime I please." He taunted with his back to her.
"You are such a pervert," she mocked. "Oh, hey did a package come to the house today?" she offhandedly asked while securing her gold Christian Louboutin strappy sandals that would add about four and a half inches to her height and leave her feet aching by midnight.
"Nah, nothing besides some endorsement deals for me."
Haley inwardly breathed a sigh of relief that for once she didn't have to regret teaching her mother how to use Fedex online. That had been one of the longest weekends of her life and ever since then, her mother and aunts had those poor Fedex guys working overtime. One time, her mother even sent her fabric samples on set so that Haley could help her decide which green wasn't too green for the living room sofas. Thankfully, something shiny must have distracted her mother and only one package with that disturbing photo, existed...at least in the LA area. Too bad it was ingrained into her memory for all eternity.
"Can I turn around now?" Nathan's petulant voice whined, knocking her out of her thoughts..
Laughing, she walked past him and towards the door. "You can, but the door is the way."
"Keeping walking James slash Scott because the view from behind is already making this night entertaining." He smirked.
….
"Haley!" Brooke shouted out as soon as she saw her best friend enter.
"Hey, Tigger. You look beautiful." Haley complimented, as she appraised the bubbly brunette's strapless, bubble dress that was in Valentino's signature Lipstick Red shade.
Brooke put her hand on her hip and did a little pose. "I know, and of course you are the only woman in the world that could rival me, my love."
Nathan sighed already annoyed with this chitchat. It may be selfish, but he was beginning to resent anyone that prevented him from alone time with Haley.
"Shove it Scott, why don't you go find your lapdog." Brooke waved off in the direction of one of the bars where she'd noticed the asshole known as Chris Keller flirting with some ditzy blonde who assuredly had a tiny IQ to go along with her over-inflated chest.
Nathan put his hand on Haley's bare back. "I'll see you in a bit," he promised her with a crooked smile before going to find Chris.
Haley couldn't ignore the shiver that ran through her body at his touch, nor the flutter her heart felt when he smiled that way at her. It was reckless, but she couldn't stop herself from enjoying it.
Brooke looked after him and then at Haley's blushing cheeks. "What the hell is going on?" She whispered while looking around to make sure no one was ease dropping.
Distracted, it took Haley a minute to absorb Brooke's words, but when she did she immediately went into defense mode. She may be savoring this tentative cease-fire with Nathan, but she didn't need anyone else to know about it.. "What do you mean? We're at a party Brooke, did you confuse your altoids for those pills my aunt gave you again?"
"Don't play coy James, but you did remind me I need a refill from Aunt Mary. Anyway, quit trying to distract me, what is up with you and Boytoy?"
Haley groaned, "Nothing, we're just being cordial. Is there anything wrong with that?"
Brooke eyed her cautiously. "Hmm, well, I'll let it slide from now. However, if just being 'cordial' makes you blush, you must have orgasms when anyone actually flirts with you." Brooke teased as Haley slapped her arm.
"Oh, and looks like we're about to test my theory." Brooked eluded with a Cheshire grin before prancing off to mingle with some Calvin Klein underwear model she'd spotted.
Shaking her head at her friend, Haley was caught off guard by a pair of masculine arms circling her waist and almost jumped out of her skin.
"So, why is Jock leaving you alone looking this hot?" Josh whispered in her ear.
Removing his arms from around her waist Haley stepped out of his embrace and turned to face her co-star. "Are you trying to get a picture of you and me with the word adultery plastered all over the tabloids?"
Josh laughed and pinched her cheek in a playful manner. "Don't be mad darling, I was just trying to see if Jock was going to come out of shadows and kick my ass."
Haley crossed her arms. "Will you quit calling him Jock, his name is Nathan."
"Someone's touchy tonight."
"I'm not touchy, I'm just…ugh, just come with me to get a drink."
Josh put his arm around her shoulders. "Sure thing pretty lady, a gentlemen never refuses a lady, especially when she's suggesting alcohol."
"You are so full of shit, but I do love you." Haley smiled up to him.
…
"Who the hell is that?"
"Who is who?" Lucas asked as he approached his brother.
Nathan didn't answer just nodded towards Haley who at the moment was making her way towards another bar in the room with a guy's arm draped over her.
"That's Josh Lucas, the actor." Lucas helpfully filled in with a grin.
"Never heard of him," Nathan snit.
"Please, he's one of the hottest actors nowadays." A blonde next to Lucas piped in.
Nathan turned to her. "And you are?"
"Peyton Sawyer." She stuck her hand out.
Nathan gave her outstretched hand a dissatisfied look before turning back to find Haley in the crowd again.
"Well, I can see he's just a ball of sunshine." Peyton observed with one of her signature sarcastic remarks.
Lucas grabbed her hand and kissed it softly. "You only need to be amused by one Scott, gorgeous."
Peyton rolled her eyes, but cracked a smile. "You are such a girl."
"But you love me anyway, now come on I want you to meet Haley." He pulled at her hand.
"You want to come Nate?" Lucas called out to his brother just before they were out of earshot. His brother didn't answer and at the moment he didn't care. He was getting tired of Nathan's mood swings.
"Lucas!" Haley squealed and hugged her brother-in-law.
Lucas kissed her cheek as they parted. "You look amazing Hales."
"Thanks, now care to introduce me?" Haley smiled warmly towards the curly-haired blonde in a stunning sapphire, strapless, wrap dress.
Lucas put his arm around Peyton's waist and pulled her closer. "Hales this is my girlfriend Peyton Sawyer, Peyton this is my sister in law Haley James."
Haley's eyes lit up at Lucas' use of the word 'girlfriend.' "I knew something was up with you Lucas. It's so nice to meet you Peyton."
Peyton shook her hand. "You too, Lucas has done nothing but rave about you, I'm a big fan.
"Thank you, and why does your name sound so familiar?" Haley asked before realization came across her features. "Oh, God you're that amazing artist that just had a show at MOCA. Your work is phenomenal, I spent four hours staring at your pieces."
Peyton didn't act the least bit swayed by the praise. "I think I'm overrated, but apparently the art world is embracing overrated these days."
"Oh, please your stuff it the most real and passionate I've seen in ages. I wanted to buy a piece, but everything was sold out by day one." Haley continued to gush, but it didn't go unnoticed that Peyton continued to downplay her work. It was the exact same thing Haley did when anyone complimented her own accomplishments and that shared quality, along with their shared affection for the blonde Scott, was something that would bring them close; Haley could feel it.
Lucas smiled at the exchange between the two women. He was hoping they would get along, but this was definitely better than he expected. "You know Haley you should come by her studio some time."
"Oh of course, maybe sometime next week you can stop by and we'll have lunch too." Peyton suggested with the utmost sincerity. Actresses usually put her off, but Haley James seemed to be just as Lucas had described, genuine.
"Sounds perfect." Haley beamed just at the moment Josh returned with her glass of wine.
"Thanks Josh, oh and this is Peyton Sawyer and Lucas Scott my brother-in-law and you guys this is Josh, long time friend and my current costar."
The group exchanged pleasantries and soon relocated to nearby table. The minutes passed and soon it was an hour later and Chris and Brooke had joined them. They were actually getting along, much to Haley's surprise. Of course, ever since she'd met Nathan nothing shocked her too much anymore, not even the fact that her eyes kept sweeping the room for the dark haired Scott.
"Haley? Earth to Haley." Josh waved a hand in front of her face.
"Huh?" She shook herself out of her daze and finally focused on him.
"If your looking for Nate, he was over by the back bar last time I saw him." Chris divulged with a knowing smile.
Haley shrugged. "I wasn't, but maybe I should go see where he is before people start asking questions."
"You want me to go with you?" Brooke asked.
Chris scooted his chair close to Brooke. "You're not going anywhere sweet cheeks, we need to talk about our money maker's schedules."
Brooke was about to object, but Haley stopped her. "Look, I'm just going to circle the room and get a fresh drink, I can go by myself, mommy."
"Bitch." Brooke jabbed.
"Whore." Haley countered.
"Sluts." Peyton joined in as if she'd known the girls for years, bringing all eyes at the table on her.
Brooke burst out laughing. "I love this girl. Haley, can we keep her?"
"Better watch out Peyton, now that she's fallen in love with you, she's going to start dressing you and dragging you to Backstreet Boy's concerts." Haley advised and then blew her pouting brunette friend a kiss.
"I don't like Backstreet anymore Haley, I'm into Fall Out Boy. Do you like them Peyton?" Brooke expectantly turned to the blonde.
"If by like you mean I have all their albums, then yes."
Brooke looked confused. "They have more than one?"
Haley left the table laughing when she heard Peyton begin the exhausting task of trying to explain to Brooke that most artists have been around way before they hit the radio and MTV. Haley couldn't wait to see the shock on Brooke's face when Peyton told her how long Snow Patrol had in the buisness.
After about ten minutes, Haley was about to give up until she spotted Nathan towards the back of the room and he was not alone.
He was sitting at a table surrounded by the sluttiest, most plastic women she'd ever seen. One was even practically sitting in his lap and kept whispering in his ear, and the worst thing was he wasn't objecting in the slightest. He even had his hand on her leg.
At that very moment, Haley felt something she hadn't felt since she was a sophomore in high school and she caught her boyfriend since grade school making out with the school whore. It was the cruelest cocktail of emotions: betrayal, jealously and just for kicks a strong dose of anger, and she was getting hit with it all over again. It was so ridiculous this time, though, because she and Nathan were a couple in name only. She had no right to feel anything emotionally in regards to him, but god help her she did.
She knew she should have never let her guard down with him. There was nothing deeper or endearing about him. What she had felt in Texas was an illusion. He was nothing but a manwhore who only cared about himself and she sure as hell wasn't falling for anymore of his games. She was just a piece of ass to him and she couldn't believe she even let her mind drift to thinking she meant anything more.
Taking deep breaths, Haley swiftly approached the table with a fake smile plastered on her face, the one that Brooke had dubbed the 'you better run smile'.
"Nathan, honey, there you are." Haley spoke, so sweetly it even sent chills down her own spine.
Nathan's eyes went to her. "Where else would I be darling?" He smirked, then went back to whispering in one of the brainless twit's ears next to him.
Haley could feel her hands start to shake and she quickly fought back the tears of frustration that threatened to fall. She couldn't believe he saw nothing wrong with his actions and that he was treating her as if she didn't even exist.
"Do you think you I could speak to you for a minute?"
Picking up his shot of tequila he quickly downed it and placed the empty glass next to the ten others in front of him. "Anything for my wife."
Haley didn't even bother speaking again or waiting, she just turned on her heels and made her way up the stairs to the private set of rooms designated for the VIPs to freshen up when need be.
"Lucas isn't that Haley?" Peyton pointed in the direction of the main staircase, with the dark haired blonde girl running up its stairs as if she couldn't get away fast enough.
Lucas looked up and sighed. "Yes, and there's my brother hot on her trail."
Chris and Brooke followed their gazes and then shared a look that said they both knew they'd be busy spinning this shit in the morning to the press.
"Haley will you wait up? If you didn't notice I'm a bit on the drunk side" Nathan yelled to her as she quickened her pace down the hall once they reached the top of the stairs.
Finally she found a room that was unlocked and flung the door open. He caught up to her and closed the door behind them.
"What the hell is up your ass?" Nathan blew out as he plopped down in a near by chair.
With her arms crossed she turned to face him. "I may be stuck in this sham of a marriage Nathan, but I sure as hell won't be disrespected and made a fool of." She cynically informed him, with not even a hint of emotion in her voice.
"Maybe you should take you own advice." Nathan threw back.
"What the hell is that suppose to mean?"
Nathan opened the mini fridge beside him and pulled out a miniature bottle of Vodka. "You and Bubba down there were sure getting cozy."
Laughing Haley shook her head. "He's been one of my best friends forever and if you'd bother to come within five feet of me tonight I would have finally introduced you. But wait…you were too busy with you harem."
"Jealous?" He grinned.
Smiling she seductively walked up to him and placed her hands on each side of his chest. He moved to kiss her, but she teasingly backed away just enough to be out of his reach. Then has hard as she could, she shoved him and the chair went flying backwards sending him crashing to the ground with it.
Grabbing her purse she took her compact out and checked her make-up; then snapped it shut with frightening efficiency.
"Stay away from whores Nathan or I'll sue you for breech of contract and take half of everything you have or will ever have until the day you die. As soon as this marriage is dissolved then you can put your dick wherever you please, but until then you better get acquainted with your hand."
Bending down she patted his still shocked face. "Oh, and sweetie never confuse me protecting my image with jealousy, because all I ever have or ever will feel for you is regret."
Standing up she went for the door. "I'm leaving now, oh and from now on you sure as hell better stay on your side of the house." She warned before walking out the door and slamming it shut behind her.
…
Nathan walked into 'their' home about two hours later. He'd spent close to an hour in the spot she'd left him, cursing himself for being such a dick to her. Then Lucas had driven him home, with Peyton in the back seat. Both of them were anything but happy with him once he'd filled them in. It just went to show him how incredible Haley was and what a jackass he was, if after only one meeting with each, Peyton was already viciously defending Haley.
He'd never had a problem with jealously until Haley. At first, he'd explained it away by telling himself that by being his wife she was his property and of course he didn't want anyone else touching what wass his. He knew it was more than that however, because he was starting to feel something more for her, and he didn't know what do to with those feelings.
Seeing her tonight laughing and feeling so comfortable with another man was just too much. It wasn't so much her talking to another guy, as it was that he wanted that comfort level with her just like Josh had. He wanted that and so much more.
Nevertheless, instead of actually doing something constructive he went into his normal destructive defense mode, as Lucas called it. Thinking that if he made her jealous she would understand why he was. It was stupid, but this whole thing was so new to him. He found himself thinking of her night and day and every time he heard someone call her his wife, or call him her husband, it sent a jolt of pride and contentment though him.
Tonight he'd blown any progress he thought he had made though, and honestly he wasn't good enough for her anyway, so why should he have ever tried. She obviously had nothing but disdain for him and he couldn't blame her.
Finally safely in his room, he began to take off his jacket and threw his keys and wallet on the dresser. He thought about taking a shower, but he was still too drunk and his head was already beginning to throb. Sleep was the only answer.
After removing the rest of his clothes, he went to climb into bed, but stopped short and went back to the dresser. Opening the top drawer, he felt around till his hands found the object of his search. Taking it out, he let his eyes wander over the photo of him with Haley in his lap that had been taken in Texas. Lydia had sent it to the house and for some reason he felt the need not to tell Haley. Maybe it was that he just wanted a piece of that trip, one that she couldn't take away once she left for good.
Putting it back in the drawer, he finally got in bed. He had to forget about all these 'feelings' and get back to what mattered most—basketball.
It had always been his refuge, especially when things in his life were spiraling out of control. He couldn't be a better man for Haley and he needed to distance himself from anything or anyone that could hurt his game. He was who he was, and if that meant he was an asshole then so be it. If he tried to change, his game might change and that was the one thing in his life he couldn't risk losing. Thankfully, training camp was about to start and then all these foreign feelings for Haley would disappear…they had to.