A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. I have almost 5,000 hits! Keep in mind that I don't have HBP with me for reference, so the details may be off. I hope you enjoy the latest installment.

Chapter 12

The November morning dawned gray and cold, and Nymphadora Tonks was not happy. Dementor attacks had become more frequent over the past month. Most of her duty was still boring, patrolling the Hogwarts grounds where nothing seemed to happen. And, to top it all off, she was going to dinner at her parents' and was dreading the interrogation.

She arrived that evening and her mother was opening the door before she even rang the bell. "Good evening, Nymphadora."

As she entered, Tonks said, "Honestly, mum, you should really ask the security question before you let me in."

Andromeda just looked smug. "I knew the real you would be sure to tell me that."

Just then Ted entered. "Hey, Dora, how's Hogsmeade?"

"It's the same." Dinner was already ready, so they went into the dining room. "Tell me about your lives these days." Tonks was eager to keep the subject away from herself.

"Same old, same old." Her mother grinned wickedly; she was obviously onto Tonks' game. "We want to hear more about your life. How's Remus?" Tonks had been waiting for that question.

"He's rather busy all the time. And, really, my life right now is boring, except for the parts that I shouldn't tell you." She remembered a particularly vicious Dementor attack and a mission for the Order in which she was almost ambushed by five Death Eaters.

"Still, you should bring him around some time. We haven't seen him in a few months," said Ted. Tonks just made a noncommittal sound. She had avoided mentioning the dangerous and long-term nature of Remus' mission because she was sure her mother would try to convince her to break up with him and find someone more "suitable." Andromeda had become friendlier toward Remus, but Tonks knew that she still harbored the hope that she would realize she didn't love him anymore.

"Well, you know, Nymphadora, if you're having relationship problems, my old friend, Mrs. Poole, has a very charming son who works-"

Tonks cut her off. "It's not like that, mother. He's just busy."

Ted wisely changed the subject because he knew their conversation could become a full-scale row. "So, how about those Canons?" Tonks smiled at her father's lack of subtlety, and Andromeda just rolled her eyes. The rest of evening passed amiably.

Truthfully, Tonks appreciated the fact that she had dinner with her parents that night. It was the full moon, and worrying for Remus was always worst on those nights, seeing as he had to transform without wolfsbane. She still didn't sleep when she returned to her room, but at least she was distracted for a while. She just watched the sky and tried to convey to Remus that she was thinking about him.

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The next week Remus was able to attend another Order meeting. He looked much worse than he had at the end of September. He was terribly thin; his robes were hanging off him. He also bore fresh scars on his face and hands.

"Remus!" Tonks exclaimed. "What happened?" She clutched his hands.

"Nothing." She simply stared at him in disbelief. "One of Greyback's close followers didn't like some of the things I've been saying, so he decided to put me in my place. I'm still the third lowest member of the pack."

"Is your cover threatened?" She felt guilty, but part of her wished that it were, so that he could come home. She didn't like how he identified himself as a member of the pack.

He shook his head. "No, I don't think so. He wasn't asking any suspicious questions; he just roughed me up a little bit." Tonks fought back tears; if this was roughing him up "a little bit," she hated to consider what they would do if Remus continued to annoy them. He clearly did not want to discuss the pack anymore because he cupped her face and kissed her softly on the lips. Her hair was briefly restored to its vivid bubblegum hue. They didn't want to pull apart, but the meeting was about to start.

Again, they went through all other business before it was Remus' turn to speak. He reported that he had started to make some progress with a few of the younger members of the pack. Apparently, there were several teenagers who were bitten by Greyback himself and were subsequently abandoned by their parents; these were the most reluctant to turn others into werewolves. Remus also mentioned that the more senior members had started to notice his urgings of nonviolence and were put out by them, but he didn't think that there was too much cause for concern yet. Throughout his speech, Tonks and Sirius were both worried about his constant use of the word "we."

When the meeting ended, first Dumbledore and then Sirius asked to talk to Remus alone, and he looked grimmer after each conversation. Then, the remaining Order members implored him to have a drink or two. It was almost midnight before Tonks could talk to him alone to comfort him and reassure him of his humanity. They both sat on the sofa in the library, and he wearily rested his head on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her. Tonks ran her fingers through his hair.

"What did Sirius and Dumbledore want?"

Remus grimaced and sighed. He did not want to tell her that Sirius told him to ask Dumbledore to call off the mission. And he certainly did not want to divulge that Dumbledore said that Remus could come back if he just returned to the pack long enough to offer the almost-converts asylum with the Order, should they ever want it. "They just wanted to talk about my mission a little more." He felt guilty about his half truth, and Tonks looked like she didn't quite believe him, but they had too little time together to talk about the werewolves.

Then, Remus and Tonks both began to speak at the same time. Remus let Tonks go first. "Listen, Remus, I know you're with the pack twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, but you need to remember what I told you when you first left."

"I've tried, Nymphadora, but it has become more difficult as time has gone by. Sometimes I feel like I am becoming like them." Tonks was surprised by the uncharacteristic bitterness in his tone; her fears of this mission's breaking him down were coming true.

She took a deep breath. "Remus, I love you, and I know you. You are not like them; in fact, I would bet that, deep down, most of Greyback's pack is not like him. No one like them could make me feel the way you make me feel. When I'm with you, I feel safe, warm, and loved at the same time, but I also feel like an equal partner, worthy and powerful. You are the first boyfriend that I've had who has never asked me to change for them. We understand each other at the deepest level possible, and I am positive that there is not one cruel or malicious fiber in your being." Tonks was slightly breathless after her impassioned speech.

Remus just stared at her. "Why?"

"'Why?!' Do you really have to ask after all this time, after what I just told you?" She was hurt by his seeming lack of trust. "I'll go through it all again if you really want me to, but-"

Remus cut her off. "Wait. That's not what I meant. It's just…a part of me has always thought that you would eventually see that you are far too good for me and end our relationship." He raised a hand as Tonks began to protest. "You are everything I am not. You are vitality and vibrancy and innovation and wit. You've made me feel more alive than I have in twenty years. You make me forget the moon and all the losses I've suffered. You make me want to act like a lovesick teenager, teasing you just to make you laugh or spouting ridiculous sentimental sonnets. I can't imagine my life without you, and I recognize that we have this deep unbreakable connection. I just want you to have the best, everything you could ever desire." Tonks felt Remus' hands' trembling with the emotion of his words.

"If we both survive this war, which I admit does not seem so likely sometimes, and we can be together, then I will have most of what I could ever desire. If we're together and our friends and family are safe and I can continue to be an Auror and fight the remaining dark wizards, then I will be completely satisfied." She spoke earnestly, trying to reassure him that she was completely serious.

"I agree with you." She knew that he meant it, and she saw his doubts and insecurities retreat to the corners of his mind. They allowed themselves a few minutes of peace before Remus had to return to his terrible half-life.

After they had sat quietly for a little while, Remus kissed Tonks fervently to show her that he really believed her and accepted that they could have a future together. She deepened the kiss further to demonstrate all her love and anxiety and hope. When they finally broke apart, they looked at the clock, and it was two o'clock in the morning. Remus dragged himself off the couch and pulled Tonks with him into a tight embrace. They willed time to freeze just this once, but it did not happen. They walked downstairs, Remus catching her when she predictably tripped.

Sirius was still awake. He looked at his old friend darkly for a minute, but then he hugged him and wished him luck. He then went to bed, giving the couple a final moment alone. They kissed and held each other lingeringly, but Remus could not halt his return any longer. He raised a hand in farewell and disapparated.

Tonks' dreams that night were filled with a small flat, in which a small boy with blue hair was chasing a girl with a sandy-colored mane and brilliant amber eyes.