Title: For the Love of Sanity

Rating: R mostly for language

Genre: Drama/ a little comedy to break it up

AN: Sorry it took so long! This summer was really hectic. I am getting ready to study at abroad

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the concepts or characters from PB

Part 15

"Wow, your back is really knotted" Janice explained as she sat on Riddick and kneaded his middle back. Riddick had been spending more time with Janice for the last two months. He could tolerate her; she was feminine and soft but didn't annoyingly whine or ask for too much. The sex was pretty good too; she was kinky and didn't mind sharing either. All in all she was a good distraction from the looming problem that tried to pry into his thoughts so often. Deep down Riddick felt bad about the way that he was avoiding Anissa, but he didn't want to get too much involved. He would supply support for his kid of course and hang around a bit—he was no dead beat—but he thought it better that he would remain for the most part out of the picture… he wouldn't make a good role model for the kid. It was even difficult for Riddick to convince himself of the logic that he had spun in his intricate brain, but he would stand by it because it was what made him feel the best. Always thinking of number one.

"Does that feel good baby?" asked Janice as she started caressing the side of his torso. She received a grunt in reply and smiled to herself thinking how lucky she had been.

"You hungry?" she rolled off of his back letting his turn over to face her and nodded. This was the most relaxed that she had seen him in the last few months. There must be something going on at home but she never asked. He was a private man that rarely talked about anything that wasn't necessary for her to know. But she thought she'd at least give it a try…

"You seem really tense lately…" she stared into his silver eyes in the dimly lit room. He didn't say anything wondering if he really wanted to confine in someone. He had never done this before; laying his problems at someone else's feet. Just wasn't his style. He continued to stare at her "I don't know I just thought that it would relive some of your stress… telling someone who cares…" Janice said nervously now not as sure of her decision to try and open him up.

"Relationship problems" he said after a long pause and an internal battle. He saw a small flicker of jealously pass before her eyes but it had vanished as soon as it appeared 'That's what I like about her, she's no too clingy' She had waited for him to continue but he didn't thinking that he had given her suffice explanation.

"So what do you want to eat?" seeing that the topic of conversation was now closed she stood from the bed.

"Surprise me," he growled as he watched her tight ass strut away in her low-rise jeans.

Riddick thought that he was an expert at reading people but he had never met an actress as good as Janice yet. The fleeting flicker of jealousy wasn't a small impulse that was diminished quickly, but an iceberg whose tip had protruded out of the water. She knew that Riddick like to fuck around 'What guy doesn't' but guys don't get stressed out by girls that they are just fucking. 'This one—who ever she is—is something more… something that I want to be' Janice thought as she began pulling things out of the cupboards… 'To bad she can't hold on to her man'

"Look at this one mom, it would be so cute for the baby" Jack said. Lately Jack had become accustomed to calling Anissa mom. It happened for the first time two months ago as an accident, but when Anissa—or anyone else for that matter—didn't correct the statement is had stuck. Anissa enjoyed it; she smiled to herself every time she heard Jack say it and was so amazed at what changes Jack had undergone. Still her tomboyish self she was maturing into a beautiful young lady and was truly starting to enjoy her life as a child. Anissa grew sad every time she thought of what could have forced Jack to grow up so early, but she never asked… not all demons are meant to be shared.

"Mom, are you ok?" Jack asked concern written all over her face she flipped back her chin length hair.

"Yeah, I'm fine" Anissa said returning to the present time. Imam, Anissa, Jack, and Bri thought it would be fun to go shopping for Christmas gifts and especially the baby. Jack and Bri were ecstatic when they learned about Anissa's pregnancy. They already began comprising a list of first and middle names for the new edition to the family, even though the baby wouldn't be born until sometime in May. Anissa laughed as the two girls started arguing—once again!—if it would be a boy or a girl.

"Just do neutral colors" Anissa suggested when she saw the fight over whether they should get the blue or pink blanket. Anissa rubbed her growing belly as she examined a rack of baby bags. She laughed at one with little barnyard animals and decided that she like this one… but of course she had to get it approved by the critics. She was happy for the moment, but her joy left her quickly as her thoughts always wandered to Riddick.

It had been well over a month since she had truly seen him. He was avoiding her; he would leave early and come in late. Leaving envelops full of money on the kitchen counter and only permitting fleeting glances of him and then he was gone from her sight. Anissa felt very lonely. She felt desperate and lonely when she was pregnant with Bri, and she vowed that she would never feel this way again, but her she was again reunited with her old friend misery. Though, this time it was worse. She truly loved Riddick and it wasn't like he had totally disappeared. That's what truly hurt Anissa; if Riddick had left and never came back she would have been able to cope, but the fact that he was deliberately avoiding her was killing her. It was effecting her badly to the point were her father had confronted her when she hadn't left the bed for three days. He said he was worried that her depression would put the baby in danger some way or the other. She knew that she needed to take care of herself but it was still very hard getting up everyday.

The shopping trip worked in cheering her up but the same old feelings of despair always resurfaced when she saw other pregnant women with their spouse; holding hands as their husbands softly rubbed their plump stomachs, and knowing that she, Anissa, would never experience that.

She quickly walked over to Jack, who was now looking at baby booties, in order to draw her mind away from what she was thinking; she needed to stop licking her wounds and let them heal… she needed to stop loving a man that will never love her.