"Let me down," Barricade growled.

"Are you going to behave?"

Barricade's engines snarled at Ironhide's mocking tone. "Go suck slag, Autobot."

"I'll take that as a no," Ratchet muttered, examining the shredded wheel.

"I don't know, I think he's kinda cute like this!" Ironhide tickled one of the interceptor's front tires. "Coochy coo!" The wheel jerked away from his fingers. "Aw, I don't think he likes me."

"What was your first clue?" Barricade ground out.

"Hold still," Ratchet said, swatting the captive Decepticon on the bumper. "I'm trying to fix your tire."

Barricade blew exhaust at him.

"Ironhide, stop harassing the prisoner," Optimus said from the doorway.

"Oh, all right." Ironhide stepped back with a disappointed expression.

Optimus Prime stepped fully into the room, looming over Barricade's immobilized form. "Barricade," he said in greeting.

Barricade sat in sullen silence, refusing to acknowledge the Autobot leader's existence.

Optimus continued after a moment. "I'll be blunt. You are our prisoner. We have come to an agreement with the human government; you will remain in our custody as long as you behave appropriately. Any attempts to escape or contact the Decepticon forces, and you will be immediately imprisoned. If you try to take a hostage, or harm any of the humans, you will be deactivated." Barricade squirmed a bit under the unrelenting blue stare. "Do you understand, Barricade?"

"…I get it," Barricade grumbled.

"However, if you cooperate, we are willing to allow you a certain amount of freedom. You will remain in contact with one of my Autobots at all times, and you will do what they say. Disobey, and you will find yourself incarcerated as a prisoner of war."

Barricade was silent for a long moment. "You want me to defect?!" he demanded incredulously

Optimus gave him a serious look. "I don't expect you to fight for us, only to behave yourself. We will not infringe on your activities, so long as you harm no one."

"…Fine," Barricade said finally. "Let me down."

Optimus patted him on the hood. "Just as soon as Ratchet's done with you."

Barricade growled.

x-x-x

"Still sulking?" Ironhide asked cheerfully, pulling into the gravel next to Barricade.

"I'm not sulking," the police car snapped.

"Of course not," Ironhide said sarcastically. He paused. "It can't be that you aren't allowed to contact the Decepticons; you hate Starscream, anyway."

"Who doesn't?"

Ironhide had to concede that one. "Is it that we took away your toys? No more laser cannons and yo-yos of death for poor little Barricade?"

"I'm not the gun-obsessed lunatic here," Barricade muttered.

"True," Ironhide admitted cheerfully. "So, what are you doing out here?"

"Is that any of your business?"

"As your self-appointed keeper for the day, yes it is."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Barricade's voice was flat.

"Oh, Primus, yes. Now answer the question."

"I'm watching."

"… What, the little birdies?"

Barricade glared. "The cars.

Ironhide's engine rumbled. "Feeling a bit lonely, are we? Looking for a little love, maybe a pretty little lady Mustang?"

"You're disgusting." Barricade harrumphed.

The watched the cars pass in silence for a while. Heh. He's actually not all that bad. Fun to harass, at least, Ironhide thought, looking down at the interceptor.

"There's one," Barricade said suddenly, jolting Ironhide out of his thoughts.

"One what?" Ironhide listened with amusement as Barricade called in the stolen car. "Is this what you've been doing all day?"

"Yep."

"Huh. What, can't go a day without ruining somebody's life?"

"Well, I am a Decepticon."

x-x-x

"I'm still not so sure about this," Sam muttered, slouching lower in Bee's driver seat.

"Don't worry, Sam. I will protect you," Bee said calmly, swinging open the door.

Sam didn't move, staring out at the dark mustang parked next to Ironhide. "He tried to kill me. How do you know that he's not going to try it again?"

"Because I would kill him."

Sam stood hesitantly, eyeing the Decepticon nervously. Bee closed the door behind him, engine giving a reassuring rumble. Sam took a few steps closer to the still Barricade.

"Uh… hi?"

The Decepticon was silent.

"Aw, come on, be polite, 'Cade." Ironhide nudged the Mustang in the rear with a massive tire.

"Don't call me that," Barricade snapped.

"I'm gonna call you whateeever I want," Ironhide told him gleefully. "Now be a good little 'Con and say hello to Sam."

Barricade growled. Ironhide let his tread rest on the top edge of the Mustang's trunk and leaned.

"Hello, insect."

Ironhide didn't seem impressed with Barricade's 'greeting.' Sam watched with wide eyes as Barricade's tires sank under Ironhide's weight.

"…Human," Barricade muttered, giving in. Ironhide eased off with a satisfied rumble. "You're enjoying this too much, Autobot."

Ironhide's engine purred. "Just doin' my job, 'Cade."

"Stop calling me that!"

"No. Don' wanna, can't make me."

"Asinine psychopath," Barricade muttered.

Sam choked on a laugh.

"How have you been, Sam?" Ironhide asked, leaning casually on Barricade's rear end. The interceptor sulked.

"Uh, good…"

"And the rodent is well, too?" asked Ironhide with exaggerated cheerfulness.

"Uh… Mojo's… uh, good. Still, you know, small. And dog-like."

"Good, good."

Barricade sighed at Ironhide's attempts at casual conversation. "You are aware you're being followed, right?" he asked Bumblebee boredly.

The others stopped. "He's what?" asked Ironhide, surprised.

x-x-x

"Come on, man, I'm freezing my ass off!"

Trent shushed his friend, crouching behind the bushes. "Quiet! They're right there!" He leaned around the tree for a look. The geek had gotten out of his car, and was talking to someone Trent couldn't see.

"Man, why we out here? So the bitch dumped you- don't need to go all stalker boyfriend on the dork – whoa," he grabbed the tree for balance. "I think I drank too much. Or not enough. Or something."

Trent glared. "I'm not stalking anyone! They're up to something! Man, last month Wikity or whatever his name is was driving a piece of crap, and now all of a sudden he's got a brand new Camero concept? And he's sneaking off to some old abandoned… thing… in the middle of nowhere to meet some guy in a truck and a cop? I want to know what the hell is –" Trent took in the glazed and uncomprehending expression and sighed. "You know what? Forget it. Just shut up."

"Don' gotta get all testy." He giggled drunkenly. "Testy!"

"Just. Shut. Up," Trent hissed.

His friend didn't answer, staring over Trent's shoulder with wide eyes. "Uh, n-not good…"

Trent turned slowly. A massive metal shape loomed over them, glaring down with glowing red eyes.

"Oh shit. Ohhhhhshit!" Trent's friend scrambled back, bolting for the truck.

Trent froze. The evil-looking robot stepped over the bush they'd been hiding behind, planting a massive foot on either side of the terrified jock.

Trent's brain stuttered to a stop as a clawed hand wrapped around his midsection and lifted him into the air.

"Oh, fuck," he finally managed.